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Oh dear god, yes.
what about there/their/they’re?
what about their/there/they’re?
omg, that drives me positively insane.
Yes. I need this graph everywhere there is bad grammar. I go completely nuts.
What about double posts?
Just kidding
This is so accurate for me that’s it’s SCARY! LOL!
“This is so accurate for me that’s it’s SCARY! LOL!”
“for me that’s it’s SCARY! LOL!”
“that’s it’s SCARY”
“that’s it’s”
“that is it is”
Indeed. But you’ll need a logarithmic scale to measure the then/than problem.
I hate when people don’t use the correct “your, you’re”! It drives me crazy!!! Don’t even get me started on the incorrect uses of “their, there, they’re”! Go back to grammar school!!!
I feel justified being nitpicky, since this graph is fairly nitpicky in its own right. Isn’t the “its/it’s” issue just another form of a “plural noun with apostrophe” problem?
Does that one particular violation not rile you up as much?
It’s/its is a matter of a contraction versus a possessive. There’s no plural involved, and there’s no noun involved.
So: no.
It does me. The apostrophe here does not show possessive or plural, as it does in other cases. The apostrophe for “it’s” is used to shorten the phrase “it is.” You would say “it’s raining outside” instead of “it is raining outside.” The word “its” without the apostrophe is possessive. “Give the cat its food.” It’s very confusing to a lot of people because they’ve been taught to use the “‘s” to show possessiveness: “John’s house”; “Mary’s car”; “Sarah’s dress”. The same principle used for “its” to show possessiveness is also used in the pronouns “He,” “She”, and “They”. In this case, it’s “His”, Hers,” and “Theirs,” respectively.
Grammar and language has many weird rules.
Grammar and language has many weird rules.
*Ahem.*
Grammar and language (or collectively, THEY) have many weird rules.
I was thinking the same thing.
Of course, it could be that the collective that is ‘grammar and language’ HAS many weird rules, just as one might say ‘ham and cheese IS my favorite sandwich.’
No, because the ham and cheese are on the SAME sandwich, and grammer and language can’t be lumped together like that. HAVE.
“Grammer”. *facepalm*
Other languages make a hell of a lot more sense.
The French languages has rules that it actually follows, unlike English.
After having studied five languages, I look at English and wonder how the hell non-native speakers ever manage to learn this language.
“English doesn’t just borrow from other languages, it chases them down dark alleyways and rifles through their pockets for spare vocabulary.”
Terry Pratchett, right?
*agrees*
This graph is… so… me…..
My favorite misspelling was from a coworker, who liked to put apostrophes at the end of every plural word. She hit a new high when she realized that some words just naturally end in “s”, and ended up mailing a letter with the word, “Massachusett’s” in it.
Sweet apostrophe action, there.
–Em
I hate to see people who put “DVD’s and CD’s, TV’s” and stuff, it does actually anger me. The worst example I ever saw was where somebody used an apostrophe in the word “want”. Wan’t is not a word.
The thing is, I don’t mind if people leave them out, but people look really stupid when they use them incorrectly.
A very informative and concise comment, that was, Patrick.
Where is all the hate for misplaced commas? Your sentence fragments drive me crazy.
I’ve got your hate right here.
Some day people will realize that non-essential clauses require commas before AND AFTER them, not just before them. If I read another sentence like, “Jane, the French teacher entered the classroom” I will SCREAM.
Truly. Is it a statement or a description? Are we talking TO Jane, describing the actions of the French teacher, or is Jane the French teacher?
And while we’re at it, is Jane a teacher of French origin, or does she teach the language?
If she was of French origin, French would not be capitalized. Because then french would be describing her.
She’s a teacher of French, because no self-respecting Frenchman would name his daughter “Jane”!
Lol… very true TR.
What? We don’t drop the capital just because it’s naming her nationality!
yes, yes, YES!!!
Misuse of good and well irritates me to no end! My favorite t-shirt is my ‘good grammar costs nothing’ shirt.
What about split infinitives? there worser then all of them other problem’s!
Worser?
Yes. “Worser.”
I agree, Meaghan; it’s a shame that one lone, isolated mistake let g-money’s post down like that.
No, no, NO! g-money’s making a point by including several grammatical mistakes in a single sentence, y’all! Count them:
Capitalization (lack thereof)
Misuse of there/they’re
Misuse of then/than
Them/those
Plural apostrophe (other’s)
“There” gets the prize for most grammatical errors in one word. Gold star for you, g-money!
Um, someone remind me of a split infinitive. Example?
To brazenly misinterpret irony?
ROFL!
I really did laugh out loud at this comment! At work, in the library!
Split infinitives are neither illegal or wrong.
http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq/aboutgrammar/splitinfinitives?view=uk
“Split infinitives have been the cause of much controversy among teachers and grammarians, but the notion that they are ungrammatical is simply a myth: in his famous book Modern English Usage, Henry Fowler listed them among ‘superstitions’!
“Split infinitives are frequently poor style, but they are not strictly bad grammar. In the example above, to avoid the split infinitive would result either in weakness (to go boldly) or over-formality (boldly to go): either would ruin the rhythmic force and rhetorical pattern of the original. It is probably good practice to avoid split infinitives in formal writing, but clumsy attempts to avoid them simply by shuffling adverbs about can create far worse sentences.”
You know, “To go boldly…” would unsplit the infinitive, put the adverb in the correct place and not diminish the grace or impact of the statement. But, of course, the phrase is now carved irremediably in the cultural consciousness and cannot be changed. Nor would I wish it to be, since I’m a charter member.
I don’t know; “to boldly go” is iambic, whereas “to go boldly” is… spondee-trochee, I think, which has a completely different effect. Also, you could argue that splitting the infinitive is a stylistic choice of itself – it draws attention to the phrase, making it more memorable.
Oy veh. So THIS is what you do with a BA in English.
Split infinitives are, more or less, a hold-over from Latin. And, well, we like to aspire to Latin regularity when we invent grammatical proscriptions.
Infinitives in L didn’t “talk around” the point by adding ‘to,’ ‘to have,’ and whatnot to their infinitives and pastperfects, they just used conjugated the verb as such. And this is why you “shouldn’t” split infinitives in English – because you couldn’t in Latin.
Infinit: add -re to the end of a regular verb
P perf: add -isse to the end of a regular verb
I think only five people that post on the internet know the difference between the words “lose” and “loose.” I swear if I see “loose” used when the poster means “lose” one more time, I will loose [sic] my friggin mind.
A-f’ing-MEN!
Your just mad because your a looser!
Heck yes! This bothers me the most. I don’t know why. I think it is because it is obvious how each should be pronounced.
I mean, it’s understandable to accidentally mistype a word, especially when typing late at night, but you just don’t mistype extra “o”s. Grr.
You should really pick something else to get excited about. You live in a world where bad grammar is used purposely by corporations in search of a sale, musicians/lyricists/artists in search of fame, and a good part of the general populous. When slang runs this rampant, you could find something a bit more earth shattering to get worked up over.
Be glad most of the people that you meet on a daily basis can put together a proper sentence structure, let alone speak the language.
And if people didn’t worry about it, how much worse would it be?
Worry about it? Ah, you must think I mean for them not to teach it. Teaching, grading, and learning about it is essential to developing minds. I fully support it. However I am just pointing out that worrying about it, or even “stressing” about it is foolish. Especially in the modern climate.
Oddly enough as dogmatic as you people seem about simple grammar, no one has yet picked up on my using a adjective as a noun . . . hmmm. 500 points to the first to find it.
populous/populace
*hands Matthew a hyphen to put between “earth” and “shattering”…*
Ok, my better-feeling, let me showz yu it.
Maybe we thought you were too arrogant and self-absorbed to take criticism.
You may be correct in that assumption, however I would like to stress that I feel your view is a bit skewed. I personally, don’t believe that my attempt to bring sanity into a pack of grammar wolves by simply stating that you’re in the wrong environment if this causes stress, was either arrogant or self-absorbed. It was a warning if you will, that because popular culture ebbs and flows at its own will, that you in fact might find that your stress will count for naught except against yourself. Would you show concern for someone who was distressed about the way that the sun rose every morning? We can teach grammar and we can promote it, but society is looking for easier, lazier, and more outrageous.
To be quite honest, I didn’t realize that I had made the mistake above either. A grammar geek friend of mine pointed it out. Personally, I did quite poorly in grammar class!
You may be inhibiting your own efforts here. Perhaps simply letting these people, who’ve found something mutually annoying, take solace in their camaraderie for a few joyous moments, will be more effective than telling not to get worked up about it in the first place.
It’s not exactly advisable to interrupt a group’s coping method to tell them they should all just relax about the problem, especially in the name of preventing stress. Clearly you didn’t do very well in Psychology 101 either
Zippy Doodle, may I quote you? It’s so irritating when people do that, and yet so many people think it proves them to be laid-back. In fact, I think they do it to establish their superiority and emotional equilibrium. They fail. They’re just killjoys.
It is funny how worked up some people get about proving how laid-back they are.
bingo
Oh, I thought it was just a spelling mistake…
Who says that most of the people I meet, or even know, can put together a proper sentence. That assumption is clearly unproven.
Besides, I’d rather get worked up about grammar, which I can do something about, than “guilt-free diamonds,” about which I cannot. (Did I get that comma wrong? Oh noes!)
eats, shoots, and leaves
Personally, I prefer the Australian joke about the wombat. . .
“Eats, roots, shoots, and leaves”
(Just like a man)
I think you’ll like this cartoon.
http://www.angryflower.com/bobsqu.gif
Bless your little pea pickin’ heart. This is the best cartoon ever.
That is belly-laugh-out-loud, quick-who-can-I-send-this-to funny! Many, many thanx!
Because we’re all being so nit-picky here: blood pressure is a ratio of systolic over diastolic pressure, so your blood pressure levels are kind of meaningless as is.
This graph is scarily true! It pisses me off EVERYTIME I see it!!
Let us not forget
Those who can’t count syllables
When writing haiku
It’s five, seven, five
Other counts are so right out
Use your fingers, dunce!
Good job! One of my favorite art forms.
I don’t know. It /can/ be lovely, but I feel it’s less effective in the English language.
My blood pressure goes up just thinking about this. Arrrrrrrrrrgh!
This curve should be positively accelerated!
And I’d add “lay” instead of “lie” at the highest end.
Then vs. Than will make my blood pressure go off your chart!
I rank the “your/you’re” above “its/it’s” on the piss scale.
i loosed [sic] my mind awhile ago, it’s running in the field enjoying the airyness.
what about to/two/too
even though it’s usually just a to/too problem
How about women/woman? As in “I’d like to have a relationship with a women.” Maybe you would, but unless you can use the correct word, it won’t be with THIS woman.
I think it’s more of a Freudian slip, since it’s a male-type guy with male-type sexual imperatives.
Amen everyone!!! I would add “there/their/they’re” above everything…..I thought I was the only one who understood this pain….!!!!!!
I gave up the fight when the word impact became an alternative for those who couldn’t understand the difference between affect and effect. I do, however, still cringe when writers cannot distinguish between bring and take. Yes, I was an English major.
I swear to god, affect/effect is the worst of them! I’ve tried explaining it to my teachers, and even they don’t believe me! Affect: verb. Effect: noun. It’s so freakin’ simple!!
Unfortunately, they can each be both a verb and a noun, although it’s not especially common. “Earthly affects”/”to effect change”, for example. Still, that rule works most of the time.
Actually it’s even more difficult than that, as affect and effect each have at least a couple meanings apiece. Here is a good explanation of them:
http://www.yourdictionary.com/grammar-rules/affect-effect-grammar.html
Say, which?! How can you not know the difference between “bring” and “take?” Aren’t they, like, diametrically opposed directions? (OK, maybe it’s a rhetorical question, sort of.)
I think you missed use of the non-word irregardless as though it were a real word.
How better to express a state of being without no regard?
Perhaps simply with regard?
Where does one place the double negative conundrum? That is not, strictly speakng, a grammar issue, but rather a logical continuum falacy. The logical continuum falacy chart, I MUST HAVE it!
And yet, we all lolspeak.
Make one! I’ll be looking for it. In the meantime, be sure to check “fallacy” in One Look.
You forgot mixing upper and lower case letters on hand-written signs.
I hAtE iT whEn pEoplE do ThAT
I’m surprised nobody mentioned the use of “should of” for “should have” or “should’ve”. I see this mistake all the time and it drives me insane.
Indeed. Those ones make me want to lash out and be spontaneously violent. (However, since I’m neither spontaneous nor violent, the chances of this are slim.)
A couple of other ones that always get me: “who” when “whom” should be used and “there’s” when “there are” should be used. There are probably others, but none come to mind at the moment.
I copy edit at a small paper. I have beaten writers with rolled-up newspapers for “for all intensive purposes.” Wtf is an intensive purpose?
An intensive purpose would obviously be the overpowering need to make up a grammatical error graph. Love the rolled up newspaper thing. Can I come and work for you, editing copy?
Or copying edit. I could probably do either.
Oh, and how many newspapers do you roll up to beat your writers with? Hope they’re relatively slim.
I really, truly hate that. Other annoyances: people who don’t understand the difference between advice and advise and between eager and anxious.
I wish I could give this fifty stars.
I know someone who misuses “well” and “will”… it drives me batty.
This is definAtely [sic] true!
Ugh. The constant misspelling of “definitely” is the WORST! Like, we are talking pull-my-hair-out, grind-my-teeth, clench-my-fingers full out insanity inducing levels of worstness.
Pull the word apart people! Do you spell “finite” with an A when it stands alone?? Then don’t do it here!!
*heddesk*
Wow.
Thank you all.
This has been one of the most amusing threads I have read in quite some time.
This is great! I work in a hospital setting and some moron faxed me a note stating that a patient had “KNOW CTs or MRIs done”. KNOW in place of NO?!?!?! How the f**k do you screw that up???
Spell check fail?
I actually find more irritating those people whom use “whom” when they mean “who”. It’s both pretentious AND wrong. Whom does that?!?
A not so brilliant friend of mine loved her antique furniture, but was always searching for a different “chester drawers” for her bedroom. I just hope Chester had more than one he could wear in case she found him one day. And another thing… starting a sentence with “And” or “But” makes me crazy. It’s a middle word, not a first word. I serve as an editor for an online site and my biggest gripe with the creative writers is that they don’t know the difference between “every day” and “everyday” (gah!!).
I think the starting-a-sentence-with-a-conjunction thingy really depends on the context. I think if you’re writing fiction, and you do it as a conscious stylistic choice, then it’s fine. I’m pretty sure Vonnegut did it a lot, and I have no problem with that in the least.
agreed.
You have missed “u” (you), “ur” (your) and all that txtspk² crap.
²txtspk may share a lot of words with lolspk, but the intention is a totally different one.
I’m just glad that there are other grammar nazis like me out there. It never ceases to amaze me how many people with advanced degrees, who presumably has written theses, cannot master the tricky art of comma usage, apostrophe usage, pluralization, or tense agreement. Bravo to the OP!
P.S. I have received email containing the know/no error. Unbelievable.
Ironically, my has/have error was unintentional. D’oh!
Thank you all, Ladies and Gentlemen…
You made my night. Heck, you made the entire WEEK.
No longer will I feel guilty for striking people with rulers (or whatever else might be handy) for uttering the detestable ‘Irregardless’ or the equally cursed ‘Orientate.’
It’s nice to know I’m not the only one suffering from this form of hypertention.
Don’t you mean HypertenSion?
Yes, yes I did. Thanks for pointing that out.
I’m just going to blush and call it a ‘blonde moment’ and move on, head hung in shame.
You’re all right. Poor grammar should be made a crime against humanity and any offenders should be immediately shipped to Guantanamo Bay for life long incarceration.
It’s a pity that those of you who sneer at others’ mistakes don’t seem to have the capability to understand the meaning from its context. It’s really not that hard!
It’s not that bad grammar impedes one from understanding the meaning from the context – it doesn’t (generally speaking) – that makes it so frustrating to grammarians. It’s that some of us bothered to learn the rules of our language, and to employ them, while others show little regard for them at all.
It’s sort of like playing a game against an opponent who cheats (those with poor grammar), and with a ref (the general public) who is to ignorant of the rules to call the fouls.
You make a reasonable point.
To continue your theme of playing a game, have you ever watched a match where the play is regularly interrupted because the ref is being pernickety? It’s both unnecessary and frustrating to the spectators.
Should I call “foul” on your mistake or just know that that’s what it was and let play continue?
That’s what she said.
Ray, you read what you wrote, right? Look one comment up from this one as see what you left at 4:49.
Sarcasm, irony, what?
>Sarcasm, irony, what?
Pointing out the irony that Katie O’Connell can’t spell yet criticizes others for doing so. He who lives by the sword, etc. etc.
RB,
I will never claim to be a whiz at spelling. That wasn’t the point of my post. Hence, the hypoctisy you allude to doesn’t exist in my comment.
There is certainly a difference between misspelling a word and being ignorant of the meaning or proper usage of words. It could be as simple as a missed keystroke in one case, or just a small mental block. I know many people who are brilliant writers and speakers, who rely on spell check to fix minor errors such as ‘believe’ or ‘bulletin’.
Spell check is as much a blessing as it is a curse.
I will, hower, maintain a healthy disatain for people using words that don’t exist, whether or not they are spelled correctly.
My biggest peeve is when someone uses “quotation marks” at “random” to indicate words are “important.”
The blog of unnecessary quotation marks:
http://quotation-marks.blogspot.com/
“GOSH”. I have “never” notice people using “that” before. I’ll “have” to go look. Though, “maybe” it doesn’t happen round here.
SOOOO completely my favorite one EVER!!!!
Perfection!
Printed it out and posted it on my bulletin board at work now.
Great to see so many spirited comments about this! And good to see I’m not the only dork with a ‘Good Grammar Costs Nothing’ t-shirt. heehee Cheers!
I think there is some sort of barrier toward good spelling and grammar on the intratubes.
In my previous comment, I meant to type the word “and” but seem to have left the word “as” in its place.
o ah gievs up! lolspaek on…
And let’s not forget all those “should of/would of/could of” instead of “should have/would have/could have” mistakes, too.
imperfect use of the conditional perfect is a tragedy beyond compare (/hyperbole).
I’m a stagehand, and sometimes I set up trade shows and conventions. A few weeks ago, I was setting up a defense contracting show, and one booth had a giant sign that said
YOUR COMMITMENT NEVER WAIVERS. NEITHER DOES OURS.
…and I wanted to die. I also wanted to take a picture, but I was worried that security would kill me for being a spy and/or a terrorist.
What about the incorrect use of fewer and less?? That one sets my teeth on edge every time.
Yes! Thank you! Fewer or less is definitely horrible because when I point it out the other person never knows what I am talking about!! We all have made the their/there/they’re mistake if we are in a hurry, but we know it is wrong… Fewer: you can count them; Less: you can’t count them; I have fewer dollars than you, which means that I have less money. COME ON PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
resources say that use of “less” to deal with countable nouns is not incorrect. simply less formal.
Can I please add the incorrect usage of the words “insure” and “ensure”? This is easily one my biggest pet peeves in regards to this topic – I work in a factory where we are asked to “insure that we work safely”. Always makes me want to tear my hair out…
While I’m not thrilled about using the phrase “flesh out” when adding details to plan or schedule, I nearly crack up whenever I hear someone wants to “flush” it out.
While I’m not thrilled about using the phrase “flesh out” when adding detail to a plan or schedule, I nearly crack up when I hear folks say they want to “flush” it out.
This is the bestest, mostest, greatest chart ever devised by man. I cannot stress this enough. As an editor by trade, I am inspired to create some sort of manifesto-like, multidimensional superchart that exemplifies all of the problems you are talking about. It will save lives.
R.
“They was………….”
That drives me up a frakking wall.
Can it be that no one has mentioned the incorrect use of “gauntlet” for “gantlet”? The first is a big honkin’ glove. It’s the second that people who get it wrong should be made to run through.
Emm, what? You’re not meant to just make up problems.
Try checking these resources for use of the English language before embarrassing yourself by posting such tosh.
http://www.askoxford.com/concise_oed/gauntlet_2
http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?key=97545&dict=CALD
Even Webster’s shows “gantlet” is only a variant of “gauntlet”.
I know I’m not the best at grammar (I occasionally say ‘Me and…’ and misuse who/whom), but (with the exception of lolspk) I absolutely hate the words ‘irregardless’ and ‘orientate/disorientated’. ‘Their’, ‘they’re’, and ‘there’ also bug the crap out of me.
I also don’t see why the use of ‘ect.’ isn’t up there, because everyone knows it’s etc, a shortened version of ‘et cetera’.
Just abbreviate to “&c.” and that would avoid the etc./ect. confusion.
your all a bunch of loser’s
teh spelling, its not so bad
I love this graph, and intend to forward it to everyone I know.
What drives me insane is when commas are used to replace full stops. So many people at Uni would write a whole paragraph, without a full stop to be seen. The sentences weren’t even badly linked together with multiple ‘and’s.
eg.
“Claude Debussy was born in St. Germain-en-Laye in 1862, his father owned a china shop and his mother was a seamstress, Debussy began piano lessons when he was seven years old with an elderly Italian named Cerutti, his lessons were paid for by his aunt, his talents soon became evident, and, at age eleven, Debussy entered the Paris Conservatoire. ”
ARRRGGHHHHHH
I would like to add “the reason is because” to this amazing list of bad grammar.
I get highly irritated when I hear anyone say this! They mean the same thing!! I lose a little respect for that person every time I hear it.
I luv your graf, its just sooper smashin’ great.
Although I have NO room to talk (for I am definitely not a grammar master), there are a number of errors that completely drive me crazy.
1) “too” for to. My mom is a fan of that one.
2) “seperate” instead of sep-a-rate
3) forgetting commas even exist. I have been known to throw a few extra commas in a sentence, so perhaps I am a tad biased. However, completely disregarding commas is NOT OK!
Can someone clear up the “his/her” vs. “them” issue?
Which one (if any) is gramattically correct:
a) Everyone needs to bring his/her own covered dish to the party.
b) Everyone needs to bring their own covered dish to the party.
So full of win it’s about to explode.
See I said it’s, meaning it is, not its, meaning it owns the word ‘about’.
ahahahahahhahahahahahahahahha grammar nazi makes me lol in mah pants ur such a baby get over it nuthin u can do about bad grammar GETS OVER IT”"”"”"”"”"”"”youre a ‘jerk’ its my life but it’s a fine day for a bad spelleer like me
You forgot PeOpLe WhO tLk LyKe DiS.
God they make me want to punch a baby.
THIS GRAPH IS SO EFFING TOTALLY ME!!
May I suggest the following for inclusion on any future graph?
The use of “whallah” where “voila” is meant.
It drives me demented.
yes its so aggravating when people do stupid mistakes
haha
I absolutely adore this, including all of the reply threads. It’s refreshing to know I’m not the only Grammar Nazi, merely the only one in a ten-mile radius!
There are two that really scrape my nerves raw. They probably haven’t been mentioned because they’re more spoken (pronunciation errors) rather than written (true grammatical errors), but I just have to put them out here:
1) eXspecially (or eCKspecially) – example – “Dancing in the rain is eXspecially fun.”
2) All’s I can say – example – “All’s I can say is, I hope Charlie gets the Golden Ticket.”
MY pet peeve is the improper usage of who/that; everyone says “someone that,” whereas they should have said “someone who.” I cringe every time I hear it.
Two days ago I received an email from the third year in charge of rowing at my university informing me that: For the guy’s who couldn’t make it, don’t worry THEY’LL be plenty of other opportunities to get down on the water to show your stuff. (Caps added to emphasise)