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Cheezburger Network Blog
Disney was created as part of a plot to increase sales of hair dye
Really?
Well talk about growth O.O
The saddest part is, if one reads the Grimm fairytales, these stories are full of morals and lessons. The stepsisters were beautiful but evil, but such things are harder to digest so Disney does away with them.
If one reads the Grimm fairy tales, then one is aware of how dark and gory a lot of them are.
Yeah, unfortunately, reading the actual tales to kids these days would probably be considered child abuse or something.
Not for me; I was fascinated by them as a child. So many children’s stories are fluff and nonsense; I wanted something a bit more real, that didn’t treat me as though I was a fragile idiot who needed to be coddled. (Not coincidentally, I was also fascinated with history–something they do let children read, and which is every bit as unlikely to pull punches as Grimm’s fairy tales.)
Oh, and Disney’s Cinderella is an obvious Mary Sue. She’s more blatant than most Mary Sues in Legolas-lusting teenage girls’ fanfiction, and that’s saying something!
They don’t let children read history books where you live? Really? The library here has half an aisle dedicated to history books written for children.
and yet, significantly less graphic than The Bible.
I never understood that complaint… You can’t very well expect something that talks about omnipotent extradimensional beings, entropy, evil, and the best and worst of humanity to be all about fluffy clouds, rainbows, and kittens, can you?
Don’t little girls learn that from most sources? I mean, like every billboard, ad, and movie ever?
And Barbie Dolls, of course.
Of course.
And Ralph Lauren.
but Barbie (back then anyway) was a independent and success-seeking woman… she was like an astronaut, doctor, lawyer, rockstar (rofl) ON TOP OF BEING RIDICULOUSLY FABULOUS.
Now she’s pretty lame :/
She makes sandwiches for Ken.
Haha. |D Let’s watch Barbie in misery while makin’ sandwiches. Nothin’ better. |D
The only flaw in that lesson is that the hair doesn’t have to be blonde, otherwise very accurate.
So true. What about, glass shoes are comfortable and easy to walk/dance in?
It also teaches that you don’t have to do anything but feel sorry for yourself, because talking mice and magical fairies will take care of all your problems for you. Oh, and that marriage to a rich guy is the ultimate requirement for happiness.
Nailed it in one :/ Sad.
Oh, let’s not forget the onset of a life-long zOMG shoes!!! obsession. Even the biggest tomboys out there come out of the cinema wanting a pair of glass slippers.
This. I’m still waiting for the first Disney movie where the villains aren’t ugly, deformed, or in any way have a “different” anatomy (like being really tall and skinny) than the good guys. I’m also still waiting for the first Disney princess/heroine to have a waist bigger than her head and to not have all her problems solved by marrying.
Good luck with that.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame doesn’t count?
Does Quasimodo get the girl? No? Then, he must not be the hero.
But ladykitteh’s complaint isn’t about what the heroes look like, it’s about what the villains look like.
Well, there’s the bad guy on beauty and the beast. Anatomically correct. Otherwise, the bad guys have always been deformed in some sort of way
Anatomically correct being bulging with giant muscles? But yes, I see you point.
your*
Well, most of the good guys in that movie (including the beast) were much more strange-looking than Gaston. Plus, just like with the queen in Snow White, it was pretty obvious that one of the main reasons he was a villain was that he was obsessed with how good-looking he was to the point of thinking he should get whatever he wanted simply because he was so handsome.
“I’m still waiting for the first Disney movie where the villains aren’t ugly, deformed”
Gaston from “Beauty and the Beast” says “Hi.”
“I’m also still waiting for the first Disney princess/heroine to have a waist bigger than her head.”
Because Disney is the only studio that insists on girls being skinny…
“and to not have all her problems solved by marrying.”
Pocahontas and Mulan say “Hi.” (yes, at the end of the movie Mulan had a potential boyfriend, but she solved her problems long before any talk of marriage).
Another pretty villain: the Queen from Snow White.
True, in fact, that was kind of her whole thing, huh?
And Clayton (“Tarzan”) wasn’t bad-looking. And Lady Tremaine, the villainess in–appropriately enough–”Cinderella” might not be drop-dead gorgeous, but she’s hardly ugly or deformed. And what about Frollo from “Hunchback of Notre Dame”? Again, not a knockout, but it’s not like you’d see him walking down the street and think, “Dear God, what’s wrong with that guy?” And there’s Narissa from “Enchanted”…
Frollo had giant frog eyes
I’m just saying, most Disney villains have a varying amount of creepiness over them that identifies them as the bad guy.
Aside from having green skin, Maleficent (from Sleeping Beauty) isn’t really that bad-looking either. Yeah, she’s creepy, but she’s kind of pretty in her own way.
I don’t know, I always found Gaston’s muscles deformed looking. That could just be because I’m not a fan at all of the body builder look.
Maybe I worded my comment wrong. My point was that most(!) Disney movies end with “they marry/end up together and live happily ever after”, thus becoming a message that as long as you get married in the end, all is well. And is it me, or did Pocahontas and Mulan both end up with the guy? I vaguely remember Pocahontas giving everything up to join [strike]Jake Sully[/strike] John Smith in England in that terrible sequel?
Yeah, and Mulan married Shang in Mulan II.
Also, Yasmin didn’t really solve her problems by marrying, Alladin did.
Mulan didn’t marry to solve her problems.
And she’s a heroin.
But you’re right on the different anatomy of villains.
I guess they did that just to make them easier to tell apart.
Does Lilo & Stitch count?
At least it’s not about a pretty girl that ends up marrying a prince or somesuch. And most of the good guys are just as weird as the bad guy (the shark alien). Then again – it wasn’t really a typical Disney movie like the others.
Not all Disney movies are about heroines waiting be married anyways. Jungle book (featuring not a really a deformed villain, being a tiger was enough), Frank & Frey, 101 Dalmatians, Dumbo…
…Pinocchio, Alice in Wonderland, The Lion King, Bambi…
Scar – the name says it all. People with scars = bad, WTF?
Are you saying you think The Queen of Hearts was *not* differently drawn? Maybe not deformed like Quasimodo was, but hardly normal.
And we never really get to see the bad guy in Bambi, so your point is?
I was referring to the part about how “Not all Disney movies are about heroines waiting be married anyways.” Yeah, the villains in those are physically different (you never see the villains in Bambi, but I think being humans instead of deer/rabbits/skunks is a definite physical difference
), but that really wasn’t what I was talking about, which I thought was clear from the nesting. I mean, person A starts a list, person B responds with a list, it seems like person B’s list is probably supposed to be a continuation of person A’s, you know? And if you’re saying the whole list should only have movies that don’t have heroines getting married *or* bizarre-looking villains, then why didn’t you object to 101 Dalmations?
OK, you’re right, I was reading too fast
But please note that I actually do like Disney movies from a “youth memories” point of view – please read my comment below.
Yes, Lilo and Stitch was a welcome alternative! And I’m not saying all Disney movies are like this, but most with human(oid)s are. And don’t get me wrong, I like Disney movies but they’re just a bit… off sometimes. Also has to do with the time period they’re from of course.
The last time Disney had a blonde prissiness was in 1991 Almost 20 years without a blonde.
Giselle from “Enchanted” is blonde.
And the upcoming “Tangled” seems to have Rapunzel as a blonde, as well.
Disney didn’t have a blond princess in 1991; 1991 was Belle, and she had brown hair. In fact, Disney’s last blond princess was Aurora (Sleeping Beauty).
Giselle has red hair, but you’re right, Rapunzel is blond!
And that’s only 3 out of 11 blond princesses. (That’s including Pocahontas, Mulan, Giselle and Rapunzel. They often aren’t thought of as Disney Princesses. Rapunzel may be, we’ll have to see.)
Yeah. The whole “blond princess” thing is not as prevalent in Disney films as some people think. Granted, lately part of it is having non-White princesses who wouldn’t have blond hair (not a lot of naturally blond Chinese girls), but even with their White princesses, you have the black-haired Snow White, the red-haired Ariel, and the brunette Belle.
There actually are. Certainly not in the majority, but they occur at a 1:4 frequency in some of the Western China sub-groups. Given, it would not be accepted at all in our culture to make a blonde Chinese character who did not dye their hair.
Most of the things I’ve seen marketed as having Disney Princesses (mostly books and dolls) include Pocahontas and Mulan, but not Giselle. But yeah, even assuming Rapunzel ends up being ranked with the other princesses, that’s still less than a third blondes. That’s more than you’d probably see in the general population, but it’s hardly an overwhelming majority.
also, don’t forget that mice are sexist!
[Jack:]
And I can do the sewing!
[Girl Mouse:]
Leave the sewing to the women
You go get some trimmin’
And we’ll make a lovely dress for
Cinderelly!
Do keep in mind that the movie is from 1950, and at that time that was ‘normal’. A lot of stuff made at that time is sexist by current standards.
also you could add that they learn a dream is a wish your heart makes that sounds retarded but true
Then my hearts makes some really messed up wishes.
Where’s the slice for not knowing what you got (till it’s gone)?
Still has better morals than the bible.
Another learned lesson: All stepmothers are evil (along with: All mothers die).
I never really cared for Cinderella. Ariel and Meg (although not a princess) were my favorites.
I get the point, but I’ve never really bought into the whole “girls learn bad things from Disney” idea. I never expected reality to mirror Disney movies. Sure, when I was a kid, I sometimes played princess, but I more often played Star Wars or Indiana Jones, lol. But I never expected my life to be full of those types of adventures either. And when I was really young, my favorite movie was the Wizard of Oz, and I had invisible friends that were characters from that movie. But again, once I was old enough to think about the future, I never expected such things to happen in reality. I rejected the idea of “there’s no place like home” for a while, though, as a teenager, but that’s a whole different story.
Maybe my parents just did a good job of teaching me that movies were just for fun…and I’m starting a collection of Disney movies to show my kids, when I have them
Disney has some great movies, and lessons ARE learned in some of them too. I loved Disney movies as a child…but I think my parents also made sure there was a line between ‘movie’ and ‘life’.
now, Lion King, that was a good movie
When I was a kid and I watched the older (i.e. good) Disney movies all the time, even when I was around 3-7 years old, I didn’t think of anything they did in those movies as life lessons. I just watched the movies to enjoy them.
Seriously, it’s a fairy tale for God’s sake. Most kids don’t watch fairy tales to learn lessons, they watch them to be entertained.
Even as a kid I knew that most people didn’t get married within a few days, or one day in a lot of fairy tale cases, of meeting each other. Most people and children have enough common sense to know that this hardly ever works in the real world. (oh who am I kidding? everyone’s IQ is dropping by the second)
I’ve already had my childhood shattered by all the other crappy junk Disney has been doing these last few years (with the exception of Princess and the Frog), so do we really need to take one of Disney’s classic movies, and twist the story around to make it sound like a damn tabloid?
If every fairy tale had too much reality in it, the world would be even more depressing than it already is.
Yea, I know the chart here itself is meant to be funny, and I thought it was, until I read the comments. Come on people!
P.S. No, I’m not blonde or pretty.
‘it’s a fairy tale, for God’s sake’ – yeah, and fairy tales reflect attitudes in the society where they originated.
How about ‘women can’t get anywhere unless a rich guy comes along and marries them, but only if they’re pretty enough and have little feet.’
Ugly people are ugly. This makes them bad. And smelly too.
Haha. |D