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Things That An Average Person Would Do During A Zombie Apocalypse
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Taste delicious what?
…
Ohhhh!!! I’m stupid…
Or too smart not to get a stupid joke…
I think it’s the first one.
+1
This one’s true, but it’s also trivial. The definition of “zombie apocalypse” is “most human beings are now zombies”. Therefore, the average person is a zombie. Therefore, the average person presumably tasted good.
Uh, in other words: the graph says nothing about what human beings would do during a zombie apocalypse, and instead plays Captain Obvious about what “apocalypse” means…
Well, I’m pretty sure it’s meant as a response to another one from a couple months ago titled “Things I would do during a zombie apocalypse”, which listed pretty much everything *except* any form of “get eaten”. This one is just trying to be more accurate (and, yes, it’s obvious, but the other one still missed it.)
If your splitting hairs, technically if a person turned into a zombie then they would no longer be a person but rather a zombie. The chart, therefore, remains veracious.
the chart may be veracious, but the zombies remain voracious
You really enjoy over-thinking things, don’t you?
Wow, you must be great at parties huh?
yes!!!
#1
an average person would taste delicious…O_O….im sure you do too RRRRRGGHHH BRAAAAAIIIINSSS
How about “Update Facebook status”?
Anybody stupid enough to take the time to do that would taste delicious before very long.
so very true…
______ ___: is about to be eaten by a zombie!
comment like
34 people like this
or maybe.. “34 1/2 people like this” ..because you know there’d be someone texting on an iPhone while being nommed to death.
Oh, so the entire teen population would be dead in a matter of minutes, I’m guessing?
Oh god, then there would be no more porn!
Nooooo…there must always be porn
Rule 35 will kick in then!
Zombieporn!!
uh…most people will be getting eaten during Z-day
Douch
disagree
Disagree with people disagreeing with the graph. it’s called a Aombie Apocalypse for a reason.
*Zombie. Why do I only notice mistakes when I click ‘Add Comment’?
Exactly. By definition, if most people don’t get eaten (or at least chewed on a little) it’s just an outbreak, not a zombie apocalypse.
fair point……………………..
Brains… *drools*
They’re not unreasonable. They don’t want to eat your eyes.
Yay for Jonathan Coulton!
ALL WE WANNA DO IS EAT YOUR BRAINS!
…. we’re at an impasse here, maybe we could compromise?
If it’s a zombie apocalypse, wouldn’t the average person be, um, I don’t know, a zombie?
But before they become zombies, they taste delicious. That’s kind of where all the zombies come from.
errr… You are just as likely to discover a cure as to kill 2+ zombies, odd.
Yet nobody looks for food, or gas.
Chances are if there was a zombie apocalypse zombies would be the least of your worries. Gangs of survivors looking for food/loot, and sickness would be big killers.
I’d be out looking for a Witch, personally.
Wouldn’t you hear her, more than look for her?
Hunters, on the other hand (as well as Tanks) scare the crap out of me. DX
In real life, Witches might be easier to avoid…
No, see, I don’t want to avoid her. I’d go toward the crying.
Her strain is a fun one. Sugar!
Although I wouldn’t mind the Hunter strain, either.
If a zombie attack does happen, I hope I meet you so you can teach me how to fire a gun.
DD
you sound badass.
lol! Why thanks.
Truth is, however, I’m just a tasty, tasty zombie snack…which is why I’d go for the Witch in the first place. They kill quick.
Good plan.
hmmmm
you should be fine if you can find chicago ted
But he’s so elusive.
Even if no zombie is safe from him.
No zombie is safe from Chicago Ted.
…
Or Chuck Norris….
Who would win: Chuck Norris or Chicago Ted?
I bet they’re the same person.
Zombies would starve to death, no one has a brain anymore
you forgot to add “update facebook”
I’d put on Thriller and see if they’ll start to dance.
Probably I’d end up tasting delicious son after that. But hey, after I’ve seen the awesomeness of real dancing zombies, I’m ready to die!
You are right, as right as any zombie movie I ever seen.
Point me to one zombie movie that doesn’t keep the red percentage, or does not have even more % of the ppl eaten.
I ain’t average.
:p
Win +1
Open ocean might be a bad idea. Why? zombie Sharks.
This is why I would outlive most of you in the apocalypse. Thinking ahead people. That’s why you buy a chest freezer, a good water filter, and plenty of diapers.
Again, thinking ahead.
Zombie sharks? LOLFAIL.
Sharks are always swimming and relatively close to the surface. Zombies, on another hand, cannot swim (they can walk underwater, however), and as I just mentioned, they walk on the underwater ground.
Unless there’s either a shark resting on the bottom of the ocean floor, or a zombie that gets a shark from the surface AND there are no humans around (zombies always prefer human flesh over animal flesh, you know), a zombie shark would be impossible.
Wait what? Diapers?
*wake up
Maybe I’m a super dork, but I would wear that on a shirt.
Uh, no, the average person would be ignored by the ravening undead hordes because they hunger for BRAINS. >.>
I would open up the cinema and put on a good zombie movie – that way we could all escape!
“Double-tap!”
(Zombieland, anyone?)
Well, hence the reason there are so many zombies the better-than-average people have to face…
They forgot “Go on Epic Quest for Twinkies”
:p Just Sayin’
The only thing wrong with going into the ocean is that since zombies are already dead and dont need oxygen they can survive and will survive underwater.
That’s why you stay in deep water. As long as they can’t reach your boat from the bottom, and you don’t fish in a way that would let them grab your line or net, you’ll be fine. Supplies might be an issue after awhile, though.
What about updating their facebook status??
What about making the same comment that’s already been made twice in the same thread?
Humans taste like pork: muslim zombies might object
I have nothing to say except OMM NOM NOM NOM NOM
depends on the demographic area… for example third world countries more subject to having intrinsic outdoor survival skill and access to arms might fare better. Indigenous people for sure while only representing a small part of the pop, will probably per capita have a higher kill ratio.
I guess the green part would represent Nick, Francis, Coach, Louis, Rochelle, Zoey, Ellis, and Bill…
No. Not Bill.
He was nommed.
…or rather, smushed, THEN nommed (eventually, after The Passing).
no they need a separate slice that says “kick zombie ass”
I would try my hand at killing them, but would probably end up tasting delicious
You people are wasting precious ammo buying time on this graph. GEAR UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I dont realey care caues im going to let the zombas eat me cause i love being infected
this chart is made of win.
I think that Human would taste something like types of meat form a pig, and supposedly with a little twinge of chicken thrown in.
There should be a small slice that says “look for pills”
This pie chart is flawed. An average person wouldn’t have the scientific, and chemistry skills of finding a cure. However, aside from that, it’s right.
you forgot to mention those who have sex with zombies