The Truth About Valentine’s Day
Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here, so let this serve as a not-so-subtle reminder to those of you who may have “forgotten.” You still have two days to find some flowers…Although, if you’ve waited this long, diamonds might be a more appropriate choice. While you run off to your nearest shopping center and do your thing, the rest of us will sit back, think of those we love, and examine a few graphs about the love-it-or-hate-it holiday of St. Valentine.

Valentine’s Day Probabilities
Graph by: BigFatGuy,via our GraphJam builder.

Who Benefits from Valentine’s Day
Graph by: LOLJoel via Graph Jam Builder

Valentine’s Day Gifts
Graph by: jwjudd, via our GraphJam builder.

Ha, I was going to get my wife a roadside emergency kit. I’ll have to rethink my strategy.
tiquila and you will get it on… and then she won’t talk the next morning either!! WIN WIN
That third graph is a lie!! My stepdad bought my mom a vacuum for V-day a few years ago, and she absolutely LOVED it!!
She’s somewhat unusual in that regard. If my hubby had bought me a vacuum for V-day he’d be sleeping in the shed! We have a rule in our house – anything that relates to housework is not a gift.
Hear hear. If it’s for house maintenance, it doesn’t count as a personal gift.
well did he get sex that night?
pie chart fail
Regarding the second graph: Actually, here in Japan it’s the girls who gives chocolate to the guys. So that one doesn’t apply here at all. ^^
And then March 14th the guys have to give white chocolate to the girls
While it’s called White Day, it’s not about white chocolate. The returned favor can be any number of things.
Really? Where I’m from we just call it Steak and BJ day. Keeps things simple. Steak can be substituted with Sushi, or something else if the guy is vegan. But for most guys the basic steak and BJ works.
Valentine’s Day has been co-opted by idiots in order to sell cards, candy, flowers, and moronic teddy bears. People who let themselves get suckered into the hype get what they deserve (dead flowers, a few extra pounds, and cards and bears gathering dust).
No cut flowers for me, please, and no chocolate; give me a nice new soldering gun, and I might put out
To prove my love for you, I had these flowers killed. If you put them in water, it will prolong their slow, agonizing death.
Okay, so I only had the plant castrated and presented you its severed reproductive organs. It’s the thought that counts.
When u think of it that way…LOL.
Let’s hope flowers never sprout brains and present our severed reproductive junk to each other. Our parts are not nearly as pretty anyway.
I guess the creator of this pie chart doesn’t celebrate steak and Beneficial Juicing day
for me, the back rub will get him further than the dinner and romantic whatever. Back rub=total turn on.
Valentine’s Day is such a silly holiday.
Am I the only one who liked the misspelling “liklihood” on the third chart? Seemed apropos, somehow.
As it turns out, no matter what kind of gift you buy a significant other (read: girlfriend in a straight relationship, according to these graphs) you’re still not entitled to sex. Actually, you’re never entitled to sex! (Except with yourself.) That attitude is probably why these graphmakers don’t get laid.
Excellent point. Sex should only happen if both parties are willing and wanting.
Nobody is entitled to frivolous gifts either.
To OP of first graph – it sounds like your SO doesn’t deserve you very much…
You’re right. I made that graph for Valentine’s day LAST year, actually. She and I are divorced now.
someday men will stop thinking of women as prostitutes that they have to bribe with generic gifts like chocolate and flowers in order to ‘get laid.’
valentine’s day my boyfriend and i made dinner together and sexed the night away.