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true yes how true. Me being first is true also!
What an accomplishment… you come here at 12:00 every day so you can be first. It looks like you have no life.
you come here at 12 to be first but fail and bash the one that is first? it looks like you have no life
Im sure that he (like most) doesn’t care whos first, but agrees that saying “first” is retarded. Almost as retarded as repeating what the person said.
Frankly, people who comment that they’re first deserve to be bashed. It’s stupid.
This graph backs the evidence that babies behave like babies.
Sarcasm’d
Ah this is so wrong, I don’t know where to begin.
The sleep part is way too big. Or more to the point, maybe it is accurate but from the parents point of view, the amount the baby sleeps is inversely proportional to the desire of the parents for the baby to sleep. Especially at night…
haha! how very true! I had to be fed every hour as a baby, my mother NEVER slept!
Interestingly, many adults do all these things to.
thats not the point the point is that they don’t enrich your life.
Adults don’t enrich my life either.
at least most adults can feed themselves and poop in a toilet and don’t wake you up every 2 seconds when you have not slept in weeks. while all babies demand that you stay awake all night and feed them and change diapers
you know babies have ben doing that since the dawn of time
humans have been killing each other since the dawn of time. I don’t care to experience that, either
Fine – we get it – you don’t like babies. But don’t claim that babies don’t enrich the lives of the parents – because unless the baby was an accident, that’s simply BS.
I was just going to say the sleep part should be like an 1/8 of the pie and throwing up should be added to that
I was unaware that a baby’s purpose was to enrich my life.
I’M TAKIN’ YOU BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM YOU LITTLE CREEP
I WANT MY MONEY BACK
You’re all on crack – my son has enriched my life more than I could have ever imagined – life without him just wouldn’t be worth it
there are different points of view, you know?
Whoever made this probably doesn’t have kids of their own.
The EXISTENCE of the purple slice proves that all by itself.
And should NEVER have kids of their own!
I have a kid, and I thought it was very funny. It is certainly how it SEEMS when you have a baby.
And for a child to be the end-all and be-all of your life is not a healthy relationship.
Say that after losing yours.
Nice ‘has nothing to do with the conversation’ there. Where’d you get it? I can’t seem to find anywhere that sells things so completely unrelated to the topic.
I seriously doubt that a major problem in our society is parents caring too much about their kids, or however you want to put it. If anything, the problems with parenting in our society have a lot more to do with parents who have no clue how to raise a family, nor do they care. Kids are just unfortunate accidents.
EXTREMES are bad. Ask any teacher what those kids who are the sole purpose of their parents’ existence are like. I never said people shouldn’t care about their kids and couldn’t agree more that many people have kids simply as ‘unfortunate accidents.’
good for you. some of us have no desire to be parents.
then i think u are commenting on the wrong graph,
Good for you. Some of us have no desire to be hateful little childfree ****s.
please point to the hateful? As far a I have read, most of the “hate” seems to be comming form parent-types.
agree ↑
“my son has enriched my life more than I could have ever imagined”
That’s lovely and heartwarming.
“life without him just wouldn’t be worth it”
That’s scary and sad.
100% agreeing!
my thought exactly!
You are pathetic.
Everyone who I’ve talked to about kids who has their own kids has basically warned me that they make your life suck big hairy balls. And all my friends who are moms do nothing but complain about their children ALL THE TIME. I used to want kids and now I’ve pretty much been talked out of it. Which sucks for my husband but whatever. It’s my life, my rules.
Good for you for knowing what you want and sticking to it.
All the mom-friends I’ve ever had only talk about how great their kids are, single and married moms alike. Guess it just depends on the person and the lifestyle.
I’ll admit, the first 3 months with mine were hell. I was working 12 hours a day and sleeping 4 non-consecutive hours a night. My fiancee was an emotional wreck, and we were stuck living with her mother-in-law while I saved up for an apartment. But, now that he’s a year old, he sleeps for longer periods of time, doesn’t throw up on me, cooperates when I’m dressing him, feeds himself to an extent and, instead of trying to stop what I’m doing so I’ll pay attention to him, he just wants to participate. Right now, he’s playing with the mouse, which I unplugged. See, it doesn’t take long before they get a personality of their own and start acting like part of the group.
Somebody must be a Brand New Big Brother.
Here’s a corollary to this graph– in the order that the original labels are listed:
WHY PEOPLE HAVE KIDS IN THE FIRST PLACE
- “so *some*one will love me/ to save our craptastic marriage”
- “because Jeebus and/or society told me to”
- “because babies are just soooo cute!!!!!!!!”
- “because I missed an opportunity in my life, and this little bugger is going to do it for me, whether s/he wants to or not!”
And the weeny sliver:
- for a decent, rational reason
Amen to that.
Boy, I just don’t know why are we just “supposed” to have kids. I mean if you don’t, you’re just some creep. People just can’t see a happy couple w/ no kids. It’s like, impossible. The woman probably has a problem, they think, ’cause there’s no woman who doesn’t want a kid. Well, I’m a woman, and I’m just counting the days for my fiancé have his vasectomy done.
Kids are not meant to make your life suddenly have meaning. If you feel like your life is meaningless, thats probably ’cause you suck big time. Not even a hundred babies can fix that. They’ll just make it worse.
I’m still waiting for the day that I’ll say “I don’t wanna have kids” and I won’t be looked at like a alien. People wouldn’t stare at me so weirdely not even if I’d said I like S&M or some other cray sh*t.
And, no, kids don’t save failed marriages.
I agree. I am female and don’t want kids either. Kids can be cute, but honestly, I like to go to bed every night for 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep and do what I want when I want. Selfish? Maybe, but it’s also a good reason for me not to reproduce. I like to think I’m doing Earth a favor.
I agree, ( and i have 2 wonderful kids, that if i have to do it over I will in a sec) I think that section should be something like “has enriched my life”cause i feel they have, but thats my opinion. It would be so great if people would really behave responsibly and think about having children, thats why we have so many situations with these babies. To bring another human being to this world just to make them into a miserable adult should be penalized ( if it where possible, lol) Good for u for deciding what is best for u.
I agree, ( and i have 2 wonderful kids, that if i have to do it over I will in a sec). It would be so great if people would really behave responsibly and think about having children, thats why we have so many situations with these babies. To bring another human being to this world just to make them into a miserable adult should be penalized ( if it where possible, lol) Good for u for deciding what is best for u.
What’s wrong with S&M?
Other than fighting off extinction (we’re doing it a little too well if you ask me), is there a decent, rational reason to make babies?
I remember seeing this one Non Sequitur strip where in the middle of a humongous city there was a little patch of forest and a deer saying “And OUR herd is the one that needs thinning?”
So true. xD Though the main reason I don’t want to have kids is that I actually want a life outside of work, and be able to actually sleep, like Hoagie said.
Uhm… because you find it an enriching and rewarding experience to take someone who is utterly helpless and completely dependent on you to a full grown person that is independent with their own personality and goals?
I wonder how many of you still live at home with your parents. Why don’t you go ask them if you ever enriched their life?
“Uhm… because you find it an enriching and rewarding experience to take someone who is utterly helpless and completely dependent on you to a full grown person that is independent with their own personality and goals?”
In that case: Why not adopting? Why not giving a poor, helpless being this chance instead of just reproducing yet again?
Where is the section for “because we didn’t use a condom”?
In my case it was “Whoops, my fiancee is pregnant. Well, we’re opposed to abortion, and we wanted to have kids before I was 30 anyway. Might as well make the most of it.”
This was made by someone who is not a parent.
Or someone who thought ‘ZOMG BABIES ARE SO CUTE’ and then realized how much of a pain in the ass they really are. Sure most parents find ways to get through it until the kid grows up a bit and it isn’t as much of an issue, but that doesn’t change the fact that babies are annoying as hell to put up with.
Uh, many, many women I know talk like this about their children also. They love their kids to death, but kids are also a massive pain in the butt.
That said, I can barely handle a puppy, let alone a child – and hearing women who actually LIKE kids and WANTED them talk about their babies like that totally puts me off the entire thing.
(I’m going to compare babies to my dog here for a second. I love her to death and I’m glad I adopted her, but AHHHHH she is such a hassle and some days with her I just want to die.)
Puppies are weaned at about six weeks… human babies, not so much. I do a lot of foster work with orphaned animals and people hold that up as a reasion I’d be great with kids.
Yah no, until a baby can be weaned and diaper trained in four months I ain’t touchin’ that.
Don’t forget suck up all your moneys.
Or “Puke on you”, “Embarass you in public”, or “Render you incontinent from pregnancy”, or “Grow up to yell “I HATE YOU”.”
No, I don’t have kids, I know better.
I don’t see why couldn’t someone who had kids find this funny. I do agree that the sleep part is too big. But it’s supposed to be humour, not “OMG YOU BABY HATER”
I’m a mother of two & I found this quite funny!
Would like to add that when the kids grow up a bit they become your buddies!
Well if the purpose of babies is to enrich your life, there’s no need for them after you’re dead.
Abortions for everyone! Less poop, richer lives!
Dear graph maker, please give up your baby for adoption to someone who, unlike you, doesn’t suck.
Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten pregnant when you were 14! SLUT
how mature
One of the worst graphs ever.
Personally, I’d rather have a cat.
In fact, I have!
If this were true, then we wouldn’t have the population that we have to do. People would stop after the first, if they even got there.
well said XD
No way! Sex is still fun and unprotected sex still popular.
It could still be true and we’d still have the current population count. Especially when people keep telling themselves that it was all so WORTH it. Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt!
I dislike children, so MY first instinct is the “enrich your life’ slice is too big. But I suppose there are people who feel that way about the little poop/puke machines
What kind of childfree miserable cat lady made this graph?
UGH
Yes, because if you’re childfree you’re miserable.
/s
Give me a break
I don’t see the miserableness in this graph, just the humor.
L never said that “just because you’re childfree you’re miserable.” What was said was that the person who made this graph is both childfree and miserable, not that one is the cause of the other.
If the maker of this graph is miserable, then one could infer from it, that they have a child. If the maker of the graph is child-free, one could infer the maker is happy because they don’t have children. That is the simple way to see it.
Stop blaming cat ladies! I have 2 kids and four cats. The cats are generally more trouble than the kids.
I have no objection to people not wanting kids – each to their own but why does one group have to hate the other? I wouldn’t trade my kids for anything but I would never think any less of anyone who didn’t want kids.
I thought the graph was by a parent actually. It seem to scream that dry humour that the parents I know have. Its not being nasty its just pointing out that the dream a lot of women who desperatly want children have is often a bit wide of the mark.
Wait, what do cats have to do with it? I see nothing about cats here…
I know it’s already been said, but yeeeaaah, babies never sleep.
Why does it seem that anyone who doesn’t want kids feels the need to justify themselves before everyone else? You don’t want kids? Then don’t have them! The world will be better off without kids that parents couldn’t care less about. I love kids, and have one (with more to come, God willing). But I don’t need to justify myself to anyone about it. It’s what I want and what I think is right. So why should anyone else care?
Please go tell all those people who harass childless couples your last statement. It’s because people can’t abide by it that childless people get defensive. I have one child and was constantly harassed by people when he was younger as to why we only had one and how awful only children are. Believe me, unless you have one boy and one girl, ‘properly spaced,’ you will get criticized, mostly for things you have no control over. People have no ability to mind their own business. Best wishes with your little one.
Totaly.
I got married right when I turned 18, we’ve been married 8 years and haven’t had kids yet… people are alwayes pestering me about why we haven’t had kids yet…. like I’m crazy for wanting to have a life and spend time with just me and my husband.
Agreed. I am harassed almost daily about not having kids yet and how I’m being sooo selfish. Not every woman wants kids.
Same here!
People seem to think you’re a total loon if you don’t want kids yourself, even more so if you’re a woman.
Funny thing: If they think you’re loony, why are they STILL trying to talk you into reproducing? Wouldn’t it be all the better in this case not to have kids?
Obviously a man
Or a woman with better things to do than spawning… Like me and so many others out there.
I am an ecological scientist, so I know very well the fact that I am useless to evolution and therefore society as a whole if I do not propagate my genes and keep the gene pool diverse. If I had children, I would most likely be a “good mother”, in my own way. I could maybe even enjoy being a parent. Even with all this, however, I refuse to have children unless it is on my own terms. No children for me unless I am both at least 30 years old and also have enough money to take care of it/them with some left over. Why? Because even though it might be good for evolution for me to have children often and early, I would resent them, and I refuse to bring a being into a world in which it is not welcome. Also, yes, I really really do not like children in general. They are demanding and have no benefits that I actually consider to be beneficial to me.
Are you my twin?!?
Wow. So many defensive people here. A LOT of parents who posted don’t seem to have any sense of humor whatsoever. This is supposed to be a website with funny graphs, not real scientific research.
This graph is not funny, in any way shape or form. And yes, I am a parent. and yes, I am an old fart, so what.
I’m a parent and I find it funny. Not true obviously, most of the time, but when they’re just out of the hospital and you haven’t slept properly for days and you can’t get the stench of diapers out of the house, just now and again you might just entertain the idea that enriching your life isn’t the first thing that babies do. And embracing and exploring those negative feelings is kind of SANE, don’t you think?
Well said!
I fear our future with graphs like this. I fail to see the humor. Flame me all you want but there is clearly a lack of maturity and accountability and simple understanding these days. If this is one’s view or it seems a popular view of children, we as a society have failed miserably.
Yeah, I’m an old fart, so what.
So, old fart, explain to me what we’re supposed to understand about babies. And what about accountability?
The graph is funny because it’s true. That’s all babies do. I’m sure as children get older they become more fun and enrich your life, but for awhile at the beginning they don’t do much. I’m not flaming you. I’m just curious what it is that I’m missing.
Love the graph, so absolutely true!
Amazing how many posters get emotional over something obviously humorous. Most parents do not realize what they are getting into and the popular view of “you must have children for your life to be complete” is destructive and ruins lives in my opinion.
Your life should be complete on its own. Having a baby will add stresses and not enhance it. A child brings time and monetary issues. Yes there is some reward but if you have troubled finances or troubled marriage having a child is a great way to destroy the fragile peace you have and fall into poverty.
From a government publication I was reading yesterday – divorce is the most common cause for someone to fall onto welfare rolls. Most single parents just can not afford the child costs. And the peer pressure to have children makes many couples have them before they have really gotten to where they should have them. And the two of most common ways to get off the welfare rolls is to get married or to have the kid finally leave the household. Most new parents don’t realize how much of commitment a child will be.
A great chart. The kernel of truth is what makes it most amusing.
(Spoken by someone currently dealing with an infant. planned for, prepared for, and loved)
Contrary to what some have posted, you can have a life after having kids…as long as you’re willing to completely neglect them, you can have all the fun you want.
So babies are like dogs, except instead of making you happy they make you miserable?
Exactly. Except that dogs can more or less take care of themselves, babies are much more annoying.
and dogs are cute, loyal, and won’t grow up to yell “I hate you!” every other week.
Chart is for 2 years old. For younger babies the ‘enrich your life’ part is smaller’