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Real Military Job Breakdown


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Real Military Job Breakdown

Graph by: dexterdude87 via Graph Jam Builder

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  1. kmzr says:

    a prim ciai

  2. GreenGlowingMonkey says:

    Amen, brother. A-freakin-men.

  3. ieldanth says:

    Regardless of your rate, you spend most of your time cleaning since they don’t know what else to do with you, just that you have to be working somehow.

    Often, you would end up spending the day cleaning the same thing repeatedly.

  4. Aayin says:

    Don’t worry buddy, the longer you’re there,the more you train, and the higher you get in rank, the more time you’ll spend on your actual job. Trust me on this, I know.

  5. Yeah says:

    Zapp Branigan: You won’t have time for sleeping, soldier! Not with all the bed-making you’ll be doing….

  6. sotru says:

    It’s like that at Walmart too.

    Though rather than actual cleaning. It’s just putting crap back that lazy customers can’t bother to put back.

  7. philangelus says:

    I would have guessed 50% “filling out forms in order to acquire the form you need in order to get the paperwork in order to get permission to do your job.”

  8. The Shaggy Marlin says:

    You forgot playing Playstation. That’s all I did in the Navy while on my ship.

  9. yeah... says:

    that only holds true if you were an idiot and work the line side. Staff side actually have real jobs to do.

    • The Shaggy Marlin says:

      I was an ET. The most work I had to do was when our radars went down during a man overboard. That was a nightmare.

      • ieldanth says:

        did you have a captain that insisted on having his own personal radar?

        One that was made for private boats and got fried every time the SLQ-32 was tested?

        fun times…fun times

        • The Shaggy Marlin says:

          Nope. Fortunately he was a good guy. Though he did pretty much lock himself in his cabin when the women collectively had aunt flow come to town.

  10. GoodMorningHide says:

    Proof that women secretly run the world =B

  11. Mezi says:

    Haha, so true. My husband guards an office for 12 hours a day, and he’s a radio tech.

  12. Silver Turtle says:

    Higher up in rate? Don’t work that way! Wish I still had that picture of a Lt Col up to his elbows in a crapper.

  13. leffe says:

    But you’re taught/trained to clean your gear and your room so when cleaning you’re actually doing what you’re trained to do too. :D

  14. TomC says:

    Hilarious, Marine here and we were just talking about this today!

  15. Why not? says:

    Hmmm… There should be a similar graph for Army/Marine deployments with the little sliver saying “Blood curdling fire fights” and the huge chunk saying “throwing rocks at stuff.” Maybe I’ll try to make that…

  16. Band says:

    Having fought in vietnam all I can say is the small part of ‘doing what your trained to do’ makes you look forward to the cleaning.

  17. Siegfried says:

    You forgot the “standing in Lines” part. Thats more prominent than the cleaning. Stand in formation, stand in line for shots, stand in line for forms, stand in line for food. Ridiculous.

  18. js says:

    Goes along with my idea to illuminate the majority of the military. Work more efficiently = need less people.

  19. DrSolar says:

    I know the US has a higher proportion of its population in military service than some of its allies. Can anyone from an allied military say how well this graph applies to them?

  20. GreenGlowingMonkey says:

    Just thought it was hilarious that so many the comments were Navy-centric. Oh, and I would add on the graph the 15% of doing other people’s jobs (peripheral duties) that they can’t be entrusted with. I saw one nuke MM1 who was an on-board EMT, training LPO for three different divisions, qualified in supplies, and the torpedo room LPO on top of his nuke watches.

  21. jersey girl says:

    I NEED A DETAIL!

  22. Ashley Taylor says:

    you know what? the person who designed this is either a dreg in the military or has never been in because I am the proud sister of an american soldier and she works her ass off, NOT CLEANING, don’t insult the rest of the troops.

    • Amy says:

      Lame. I’m sure she does. Probably cleaning. Like what I and everyone else I knew hod to do.

    • ieldanth says:

      I can’t speak for the Army, but if you are enlisted Navy, you aren’t getting away without your mandatory 3 month cranking duty.

      Talk about cleaning detail…

    • jk says:

      Not an insult, but a fact. You should be proud of your sister for serving, no matter what. The taxpayers(I are one. Now.) deserve to have all that equipment they paid for clean and well maintained. You should be respectful of those that clean, as well. They’re not ‘dregs’, they’re ‘junior enlisted’.

    • Siegfried says:

      Proud sister of? Meaning, you in fact are not in the military. Sorry sister, but i work my ass off too. In the Military, though this graph is exaggerated, about half of what we do is useless paper work, standing in lines, or cleaning something that just got cleaned twenty minutes ago. It’s part of that whole military lifestyle thing.

    • Baker6669 says:

      Sry but women in the military don’t do a whole lot there to busy about not breaking a nail

  23. ieldanth says:

    Hated deceptive lighting, but most of the weird stuff was handled by the duty guy, unless you had a refrigerator sized motor blow a bearing in some god-forsaken hole somewhere. I was actually an EM, but we compared notes with the ETs from time to time, since their stuff doesn’t work if ours doesn’t.

    “If it moves, salute it. If it doesn’t, paint it.”
    Sorry for the flashbacks, but if it means anything, Slick 32 was contemporary with my service, 20 years ago.

  24. Dexaan says:

    What if you’re a janitor in the military?

  25. GreenGlowingMonkey says:

    As an example to those who have never been in, I just got done with 8 hours of duty, four of which, being Sunday (into Monday) was “Field Day”, meaning I spent four hours cleaning the same boat that the four crews immediately preceding mine had each already cleaned for four hours. It gets kinda tricky to be the last in line trying to find something to clean…You could eat off of nearly every surface on my boat, as long as you don’t mind the taste of Simple Green…

    • mr_interpreter says:

      Simple green what?
      Sorry, have never been in uniform so I lack the vocab. Is army food as bas as we are made to believe or do you have decent chefs? I always wondered who got the worse food: soldiers on the front line, astronauts in space or students…

      • GreenGlowingMonkey says:

        Simple Green=The brand name of cleaner the Navy (and the other branches, I assume) uses for most everything. It’s a great degreaser, a decent all-purpose cleaner, and-if you don’t dissolve it at all–our most effective paint stripper.

  26. SailArmy says:

    I LOVE the taste of Simple Green!!

    We buff the deckplates in my engine room every Friday… Back when I was a private, I thought that was a joke, like going to get the key to the sea chest or getting some shore line out of the bosun locker…

  27. KeithTX says:

    Military cleaning…
    If it’s clean, wash it.
    If it’s dirty, paint it.

  28. kao says:

    i dont know what you’re doing wrong but i know i havent had to clean all that much…even being under everyone else in the shop. i learned my rate very well. but i see what you’re talking about. they do the same thing to my hubby. maybe thats the difference between sea and shore based commands.

  29. flamingatheist says:

    This is the perfect example of a Coast Guard fisheries patrol in the early 90’s off Washington/Oregon. Just add in 5% random mainspace fire drills and you’re all set. “Sweepers, sweepers, man your brooms!” “what the hell do you think I’ve been doing for the last 8 hours?”

  30. ReX13 says:

    Hmmm….i never had this problem.

    Of course, my job was too important/hard to fill to have us doing silly make-work like this.

    All you squids that mopped and painted all the time, i have a message for you:
    when i was deployed, i did my (very difficult) job, and enjoyed 24 hours off every seven days.

    Suck it.

  31. GreenGlowingMonkey says:

    I think you just got lucky, and it didn’t have that much to do with the difficulty of your job. All the people I know who have difficult/hard to fill rates still spend time cleaning.


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