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Well, presumably the people beside you are your friends… why would you go to the movies with somebody that has a flu, or that talks too much?
because the OP is very lonely and have no friends
If nobody would go to the theatre with a chatterbox, then there wouldn’t be any, right? Unless they go alone and talk to the stranger next to them all the time. Besides: You can hear them talk even if there are 10 seats between him/her and you -.-
Sometimes the chatterbox can be in front of you. When The Two Towers came out, I was stuck in a crowded cinema behind this woman who received a phone call then spent ten minutes talking loudly while everyone around her told her to shut up.
Note the “Seat Kicker” is the only one touching the middle circle. They are the only one directly behind you. “Melon Head”, “Bad Flu”, and “Chatterbox” can be any amount of seats away from you.
The seat kicker is touching the middle circle because it’s kicking its seat.
And yes, I am aware that it is your graph.
Well, I believe he meant theatre as in a play or musical or opera. I thought the graph was funny.
I’d agree with you except he labelled a screen, not a stage.
He must be British or Canadian though, theat”re” not theat”er”.
Is it really so difficult to pronounce “re” that Americans had to change the dictionary?
I tend to spell movie theater the American way but the play/musical/opera kind the British way (theatre). Wouldn’t they call it a cinema in English-speaking countries outside of the US, though?
It’s a theatre in Canada, cinema in Britain. I’m not sure about any other places (like South Africa or Australia).
Cinema in Australia
G’day mate. Fair dinkum, I’m Australian. Theatre, theater, sounds the same. Centre, center, colour, color. Sounds and means the same.
I was taught British Standard English as opposed to American Standard English…which I got told off for.
I’m from Australia mate. We call it a wizzle-wazzle.
That’s novel.
I’m American and I always spell it theatre. Either spelling is correct regardless of your nationality.
I made reference to a screen because I had just seen A Christmas Carol in 3D and when the Ghost of Christmas Present had finished his part and just before the Ghost of Christmas Future was due to appear, the three year old sitting directly behind me started kicking my seat blissfully unaware she was annoying the heck out of me. I made this in retaliation assuming worst-case scenario in seating.
It can apply to musicals, opera and plays as well.
The only person directly behind you is the “seat kicker”. Every other section is in that general direction…or on the assumption that the theatre is full.
Not necessarily. Maybe Ittehbitteh likes going to the movies alone.
I normally go with my brother. Most of the circles apply to that general direction.
haha the maker has no friend
You should fill all the empty space with “Texting with a ridiculously bright cell phone” bubbles.
Where’s the crying 2 year-old? There’s always a kid crying or screaming somewhere in the theater.
Stop going to G and PG rated movies.
They bring them to R-rated movies too. REALLY disturbing.
No matter what movie you see or place you go to eat, you cannot avoid people with their happy little bundles of reproductive accident.
-I remember going to see Escape from NYC in the theatre – someone brought a 2 year old that kept loudly asking what’s going on.
-I saw Brokeback Mountain on the night of its release. There was a 5 year old in the row ahead of me asking why “2 men were doing that, isn’t that bad?”.
-Someone decided to bring their screaming newborn to the opening showing of Strange Days.
-Seeing Farenheit 9/11 with a little kid behind you that finds everything in the movie worth gasping and squealing about.
The seat kickers in theatres deserve to be tasered. I’m not cruel or vindictive, I am just.
Seriously people, just get a damn babysitter.
Getting a babysitter was a whole lot easier before they started charging $12 a head for theater/theatre/cinema admission and before the F’in babysitters union decided that $10/hr was the going rate. So parents are looking at a $54 MINIMUM investment for movie night.
It still doesn’t excuse taking your kids to Brokeback Mountain, but then they went to see Brokeback Mountain for christ’s sake, so maybe judgement isn’t their strong suit.
I usually go to violent R-rated horror movies. And believe it or not, people bring their kids to them. The kids get scared and start screaming. I’m not one for coddling kids, but what on earth are these parents thinking?
It’s why I love the UK – it’s actually illegal to take a child into an adult-rated film. The cinema staff at our local multiplex got the win from me the day that some daft cow was trying to take her 5 year old in with her to see one of the SAW films. They told her to bog off.
Why, why, why can’t we get the same law in the US?!
Cuz then people will start yelling about their “freedoms” and such and probably sue somebody. Sometimes I’m embarrassed to be from this country…
Was thinking the same thing.. they are under the impression they have the freedom to be as idiotic as they want (true) even if it harms others (not true)
You go to the movies early mornings, especially on weekends. The parents won’t be up to take that little “angel” *coughs ‘brat’* to a 9.00am screening. It worked when I saw ‘Up’
Who has a movie theatre that starts showing movies at 9:00 am?
Australia always has movies showing that early – fab for avoiding annoying kids and teenagers. Bugs the heck outta me that they don’t do it here in the UK.
The previews go for about 15 minutes, so the actual movie starts at 9:15. A cinema 40km away does that but I don’t think the smaller cinema does that.
You forgot “Frequent Urinator” and “Annoying yelling kid”
The melon head needs a friend next to him constantly checking his phone. Just cause you aren’t talking on it doesn’t mean that damn light isn’t annoying as sin.
The maker must be a dwarf or something. Look at how small he/she is compared to the surrounding people.
That is just how they feel.
Maybe everyone else is just really fat.
I’m five foot nothing. But the size of the “other people” is proportional to how annoying they are.
He forgot at least people who are either afraid they might touch you, and squirm the whole time or are arm rest hoggers.
Also forgotten – the teenagers who are texting each other all over the theater, the people who let their kids run up and down the aisle during the movie and the obnoxious food thrower.
Yeah – sillycon valley has some really rude people in it.
I made the mistake of sitting in front of the worst moving-going couple ever. The lady talked constantly about the movie and to the characters on the screen while her date/friend/whatever was sleeping in the seat next to her, snoring LOUDLY.
Of course, I think I have a melon head so maybe it’s karma…I don’t know.
I’m not ticked off by melon heads in general, more when someone stands up in front of me (often because they got a large drink and finished it during the previews)
Maybe Melon Head could have been replaced with “Itty-Bitty-Bladder Man”
If I could edit this graph, I could. That’s a good suggestion.
so if i have a melon head, will that mean i won’t sit behind the seat kicker?
When I saw Ice Age 3, I picked the best seat, but there wer kids at the very front, reaching up to the screen playing around in that space. “It’s not a playpen!” I had the urge to throw my snack food at them.
And when I watched the same movie a couple days earlier, I was sitting next to a sulky kid and behind him was another kid, I could tell if it was him or the other kid
best graph in weeks
so tru!
You forgot “Really Strong Cologne Guy” over to the front left somewhere.
Yup.
How I deal with seat-kickers, after asking, and usually then telling them to stop, I turn around pour my drink in their crotch. I really hate seat-kickers.
Now THAT’S an idea…
I know what you mean about seat-kickers. Now matter how much I turn around and tell them to quit, they just laugh. Why didn’t I think of the drink plan?
I would’ve done that…unfortunately it was a three year old that was kicking my seat.
5/5 just for using the term “melon head”. I laughed.
You forgot incredibly fat dude that breathes really loudly and takes up half your seat along with his.
lolz u go to the movies with no one else
I went to see Up when it came out and there was a toddler who was kicking my seat and making annoying comments.
By the way you should add toddler who makes annoying comments through out the movie.
Many LOLz were had. Well done, cheers.
By the way, I can pick the most remote seat ever and right when the lights go down for the previews, Melon Head will plop directly in front of me. EVERY TIME.
same graph works for airline seating except swap the Melon Head for a screaming baby
True
ah, the wonders of living in a small town. You’re generally alone. My cousin got pregnant in one.