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Theatre Seating


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Theatre Seating

Graph by: ittehbittehkitteh via Graph Jam Builder

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» 63 TPS Reports

  1. Alex says:

    Well, presumably the people beside you are your friends… why would you go to the movies with somebody that has a flu, or that talks too much?

    • teehee says:

      because the OP is very lonely and have no friends

    • Tom says:

      If nobody would go to the theatre with a chatterbox, then there wouldn’t be any, right? Unless they go alone and talk to the stranger next to them all the time. Besides: You can hear them talk even if there are 10 seats between him/her and you -.-

      • Wolverine Girl says:

        Sometimes the chatterbox can be in front of you. When The Two Towers came out, I was stuck in a crowded cinema behind this woman who received a phone call then spent ten minutes talking loudly while everyone around her told her to shut up.

      • Ittehbittehkitteh says:

        Note the “Seat Kicker” is the only one touching the middle circle. They are the only one directly behind you. “Melon Head”, “Bad Flu”, and “Chatterbox” can be any amount of seats away from you.

    • Adam says:

      Well, I believe he meant theatre as in a play or musical or opera. I thought the graph was funny.

      • Alex says:

        I’d agree with you except he labelled a screen, not a stage.
        He must be British or Canadian though, theat”re” not theat”er”.
        Is it really so difficult to pronounce “re” that Americans had to change the dictionary?

      • Ittehbittehkitteh says:

        I made reference to a screen because I had just seen A Christmas Carol in 3D and when the Ghost of Christmas Present had finished his part and just before the Ghost of Christmas Future was due to appear, the three year old sitting directly behind me started kicking my seat blissfully unaware she was annoying the heck out of me. I made this in retaliation assuming worst-case scenario in seating.

        It can apply to musicals, opera and plays as well.

    • Ittehbittehkitteh says:

      The only person directly behind you is the “seat kicker”. Every other section is in that general direction…or on the assumption that the theatre is full.

    • Feisty says:

      Not necessarily. Maybe Ittehbitteh likes going to the movies alone.

  2. daanvl says:

    haha the maker has no friend

  3. jzimbert says:

    You should fill all the empty space with “Texting with a ridiculously bright cell phone” bubbles.

  4. Lilly says:

    Where’s the crying 2 year-old? There’s always a kid crying or screaming somewhere in the theater.

    • TheObject says:

      Stop going to G and PG rated movies.

      • Isildo says:

        They bring them to R-rated movies too. REALLY disturbing.

        • FadedLY says:

          No matter what movie you see or place you go to eat, you cannot avoid people with their happy little bundles of reproductive accident.

          -I remember going to see Escape from NYC in the theatre – someone brought a 2 year old that kept loudly asking what’s going on.

          -I saw Brokeback Mountain on the night of its release. There was a 5 year old in the row ahead of me asking why “2 men were doing that, isn’t that bad?”.

          -Someone decided to bring their screaming newborn to the opening showing of Strange Days.

          -Seeing Farenheit 9/11 with a little kid behind you that finds everything in the movie worth gasping and squealing about.

          The seat kickers in theatres deserve to be tasered. I’m not cruel or vindictive, I am just.

          Seriously people, just get a damn babysitter.

          • Pablo says:

            Getting a babysitter was a whole lot easier before they started charging $12 a head for theater/theatre/cinema admission and before the F’in babysitters union decided that $10/hr was the going rate. So parents are looking at a $54 MINIMUM investment for movie night.

            It still doesn’t excuse taking your kids to Brokeback Mountain, but then they went to see Brokeback Mountain for christ’s sake, so maybe judgement isn’t their strong suit.

      • Lilly says:

        I usually go to violent R-rated horror movies. And believe it or not, people bring their kids to them. The kids get scared and start screaming. I’m not one for coddling kids, but what on earth are these parents thinking?

        • CDthe says:

          It’s why I love the UK – it’s actually illegal to take a child into an adult-rated film. The cinema staff at our local multiplex got the win from me the day that some daft cow was trying to take her 5 year old in with her to see one of the SAW films. They told her to bog off.

    • Ittehbittehkitteh says:

      You go to the movies early mornings, especially on weekends. The parents won’t be up to take that little “angel” *coughs ‘brat’* to a 9.00am screening. It worked when I saw ‘Up’

  5. bob22 says:

    You forgot “Frequent Urinator” and “Annoying yelling kid”

  6. Andrew says:

    The melon head needs a friend next to him constantly checking his phone. Just cause you aren’t talking on it doesn’t mean that damn light isn’t annoying as sin.

  7. Me says:

    The maker must be a dwarf or something. Look at how small he/she is compared to the surrounding people.

  8. dana says:

    He forgot at least people who are either afraid they might touch you, and squirm the whole time or are arm rest hoggers.

    • meetooo says:

      Also forgotten – the teenagers who are texting each other all over the theater, the people who let their kids run up and down the aisle during the movie and the obnoxious food thrower.
      Yeah – sillycon valley has some really rude people in it.

  9. Hoagie says:

    I made the mistake of sitting in front of the worst moving-going couple ever. The lady talked constantly about the movie and to the characters on the screen while her date/friend/whatever was sleeping in the seat next to her, snoring LOUDLY.
    Of course, I think I have a melon head so maybe it’s karma…I don’t know.

  10. Letuce says:

    so if i have a melon head, will that mean i won’t sit behind the seat kicker?

  11. Dog_lover22 says:

    When I saw Ice Age 3, I picked the best seat, but there wer kids at the very front, reaching up to the screen playing around in that space. “It’s not a playpen!” I had the urge to throw my snack food at them.
    And when I watched the same movie a couple days earlier, I was sitting next to a sulky kid and behind him was another kid, I could tell if it was him or the other kid

  12. teezboy says:

    best graph in weeks :D

    so tru!

  13. schnell says:

    You forgot “Really Strong Cologne Guy” over to the front left somewhere.

  14. rickybobby says:

    Yup.

    How I deal with seat-kickers, after asking, and usually then telling them to stop, I turn around pour my drink in their crotch. I really hate seat-kickers.

  15. Xaqtly says:

    5/5 just for using the term “melon head”. I laughed.

  16. BlackDaisy says:

    You forgot incredibly fat dude that breathes really loudly and takes up half your seat along with his.

  17. aaron m says:

    lolz u go to the movies with no one else

  18. Is a person says:

    I went to see Up when it came out and there was a toddler who was kicking my seat and making annoying comments.

    By the way you should add toddler who makes annoying comments through out the movie.

  19. Jeditigger says:

    Many LOLz were had. Well done, cheers.

    By the way, I can pick the most remote seat ever and right when the lights go down for the previews, Melon Head will plop directly in front of me. EVERY TIME.

  20. JR says:

    same graph works for airline seating except swap the Melon Head for a screaming baby

  21. stick2012 says:

    True

  22. honestly says:

    ah, the wonders of living in a small town. You’re generally alone. My cousin got pregnant in one.


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