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menstruation – event correlation



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menstruation – event correlation

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  1. No Fat Chicks says:

    I could have gone forever without seeing this graph. Fail X 3

    • Thompson says:

      Oh nose! Women have periods and I might have to think about this fact!

      Try bleeding out of your genitals for a week straight, I’m sure dealing with the mere mention of a period will be a fond memory after that.

      • No Fat Chicks says:

        No….Just like every female comic that does jokes about her period because of a lack of creativity or original material…it’s just not funny.

        • Aeyvi says:

          Not true. Pain is always funny.
          even when it’s yours.

        • Copper says:

          Just like every male comic thinks its hilarious to joke about getting kicked in the nuts, their wives asking them if they like the color of the drapes/couch/etc, or [insert generic male crap here]. Its not funny, and I dont think the generic stuff that women joke about is funny either, but I bet that you think what all these stupid, cookie-cutter male comics joke about is funny.

          So, of course, you’ll read my comic. You’ll decide to lie on the internet, saying “of course not”, when we all know you think that they’re hilarious. Shame.

  2. Marie says:

    I almost peed my pants laughing at this.

  3. DrCooper says:

    Oh, so true. Every single vacation I go on, menses must come with me.
    But then, when I’m worried and waiting, then there’s no sign of the darned thing.

  4. LadyCallahan says:

    HA, men are SO uncomfortable with this subject, but every woman knows exactly what you mean here! WIN!

  5. Rebecca says:

    This graph needs a “Every holiday from Labor Day to New Year’s” bar.

  6. conte de fees says:

    I laughed out loud. But I’m a woman, so I can empathize, whereas I’m sure the other half of the population is horrified.

    • slupine says:

      I’m right there with you. I had to laugh at this one.

      Though “massive iron deficiency from blood loss” is more like “anytime I have to go someplace and can’t weasel out of it”.

    • wahinegir1 says:

      Yes, like the time my new BF decided to cook dinner for me at his house and well, I wasn’t expecting menses that night. Heaviest ever, total mortification but a “W” in his column because he took it all in stride…

  7. emptyshell says:

    wow being a woman must extra special *super* suck… I mean, apart from the historical “you are our property, why on earth should you get rights” thing.

  8. Alyss says:

    What is the likelihood of it raining tomorrow?
    Well, it’s looking like super tampon + pad with wings at the moment…

    To be fair, I actually thought it was an alright graph…

  9. HT says:

    “Accidentally have gotten knocked up”? In order to get knocked up, you gotta go through some very deliberate steps.

    Also, I think a bar graph is not the best option for the data that it represents.

    Otherwise alright graph.

  10. thispieistoocold says:

    tits or gtfo

  11. sane person says:

    Uh, TMI?

  12. forge says:

    So fricking true. Any time there’s a special event – outdoor concert, canoe trip, extra-long shopping expedition – INVARIABLY “I got my period.” It’s like holy crap woman, don’t you own a calendar??!! But naturally yeah, it wasn’t due for a week but here it fricking is anyway. Then a few days after a particularly raucous night of whoopie, during which at some point there might have been some unprotected contact but you’re not really sure, and the period’s supposed to have shown up yesterday… there you both are, gnawing your nails to the elbows. Periods are a nightmare, I’m glad ours are over with. = ) Life begins at 50!!!! Or so.

    • Starlinguk says:

      We spent AGES with a calender to make sure it wouldn’t happen during the wedding night.

      And then things just rearranged themselves … It’s got its own personality, I swearz.

  13. The fat chick from Mean Girls says:

    “Somebody wrote in that book that i’m lying about being a virgin.
    But I can’t help it if I have a heavy flow and a wide set vagina!”
    I did not invent this.

  14. shaina says:

    learn about menstrual cups, ladies! never have to worry about pads and tampons again…makes traveling, events, etc 100% easier. menstrualcups.org. awesome.

    also, there’s this thing called the birth control pill. for most people it makes it so you know exactly when your period will come. not for everyone, but i’m just saying.

    • eman says:

      Yep…tried the cup. After a week of ending up with blood all over me, the toilet, the floor, etc., decided pads and tampons were better. Heavy periods.

      Agree about the pill. For those who do well on it, a nice relief from the uncertainty of life. Better living through chemistry.

    • slupine says:

      Yeah but the pill can’t change the fact that your boss, relatives, etc will inevitably always schedule important events at innoportune times. lol

      • slupine says:

        *shoves spelling fail under the rug and whistles innocently*

        • Aple says:

          I’m on the pill and my last holiday I was set to get my period, but I asked my doctor and she said not to take the 7-day sugar pill, just stay on the regular one. Check what pills your on, but I’m on a pretty standard one and it wasn’t a prob.

          So now I’m just going to be doing that on the special occassions.

          This feels too serious for graph jam…
          OOGA BOOGA
          There, that’s better :)

    • dani says:

      i concur, menstrual cups are awesome.

    • CDthe says:

      Menstrual cups for me meant blood went EVERYWHERE. Seriously, could have done a Jackson Pollock with my bathroom carpet.

      And the pill? Think I’ll stay with my IUD and irregular period than the suicidal depression those little tablets gave me…ick.

  15. um says:

    Shouldn’t this be red?

  16. j says:

    Ha, everytime i worry about being knocked up the damn thing shows up a few days late!

  17. k says:

    Every year on my boyfriends birthday has a large line as well.

  18. So True says:

    This is so accurate. We specifically planned our wedding AROUND mother nature who had come knocking every 29 days like clockwork for two and a half years. Wedding day comes around, guess who just had to come along for the ride? I spent the entire day irritable, irrationally angry about the cupcakes, and cramping, and then glared at the back of our relative’s heads through the entire reception. I was neither a happy nor blushing bride. lol

    • Sad Bride says:

      Sad.. :( I feel your pain.

      This happened to us. I am always clockwork. I got mine on our wedding day- two weeks before it should have arrived.

      All that stress = malicious plotting menses.

  19. BoringTroll says:

    I was going to say that periods aren’t a big deal, until I read the other comments, and saw that every other male is so easy to freak out. I have a wife and a daughter, and I know how to walk into a drugstore and buy tampons and pads. I hadn’t realized that this is a superpower that few males possess.
    Big events mess up the timing of periods, it isn’t a coincidence. Likewise, stress can delay a period, and a delayed period can produce stress, a lot of stress.

    • gow says:

      OMFG READING FAIL, making fun of something doesnt mean your freaked out, ITS JUST NOT FUNNY, we have to find a way to amuse ourselves

    • faunablues says:

      Agreed, except… “periods aren’t a big deal.” cough cough, you’re a dude.

      • Starlinguk says:

        For some women periods aren’t a big deal, but for some it’s Hell on Earth several days a month (and that’s ignoring the PMT bit).

    • Alex says:

      I totally appreciate a guy that doesn’t flip out over a period. It happens once a month (for normal healthy girls) for a very, very long time, so guys should get over it or figure out how to be into other dudes.

      Like, no, I don’t expect you to earn your “red wings”, that’s kind of gross to me too, but shut up, put a condom on and have sex with me and don’t be a bitch about it or I’ll kill you. Oops, that last part was PMS…

  20. gow says:

    this graph sucks so bad, i guess if talking about a natural cycle is funny then i should post my morning routine so then people can laugh at how thats so funny right?

    Seriously blows id rather see a misused venn diagram then this lame graph

  21. Ana says:

    You know, if you realize you’re going to be on your period during the time you have scheduled a vacation, you can just take the pill (or continue to take the pill) so it doesn’t come. It’s not unhealthy at all to just delay it one or two weeks, my doctor told me.

  22. Angry_Hamst3r says:

    I am not sure if these fine ladies ever heard about the pill. Maybe this will inspire them to google it or something.
    (oh btw, totally dumb lol)

    • Jes says:

      Even on the pill, you can’t skip your period forever, Oh Wise One. It’s not healthy. And it’s not 100% reliable, (case in point: my sister).

      • wwax says:

        Some of us can’t take the pill due to serious side effects. Not that its 100% effective in any case.

        • Angry_Hamst3r says:

          serious side effects as in … you are aware that there are different types of pills that do different things to you, aren’t you my dear?

          Effective for what? And how the hell you know if you cannot take “it” anyway? If you are talking about pregnancy, they are like condoms – the 1% ineffectiveness comes from people forgetting to put it on.

          Dude am I tired of primitive people on cheezburger forums.

          • cc says:

            Are you aware that one has to go through a doctor to be on the pill, my not-dear? And that said doctor is fully aware that there are different pill formulations? And that usually several different pills are tried before finding the best on for any given individual? And that, sometimes, there is no formulation that works without causing significant, untenable side effects? We’re not talking about people wandering cluelessly (much as you are) around a drugstore, unsure as to what to try. We’re talking about doctors who make decisions about what’s best for a woman’s health. Doctors. Which you are not. We’re not machines, and we don’t all respond to medications in the same way. There! You learned something.

            The pill is NOT 100% effective, regardless of how it’s taken, and even the manufacturers are upfront about that. A doctor could tell you about that too, or, you know, the INSERT THAT COMES WITH THE MEDICATION. Not that you would have talked to a doctor or read the insert, being as completely ignorant and inexperienced about the subject as you apparently are.

            Wow, dude, I’m really tired of idiots acting like they know things they don’t on the forums, too. Maybe you should pull your head out and give the hamster a little more room to move. No wonder it’s angry.

            • Angry_Hamst3r says:

              Go talk to a doctor. And try different pills. I don’t see what’s the issue here?

              • cc says:

                The issue is reading comprehension fail, apparently. These women HAVE seen a doctor–they had to in order to try the pill. They HAVE tried different pills–that’s what doctors do, they try you on several if the first one doesn’t work. Sometimes, even after having done this, THE PILLS STILL DON’T WORK. The side effects are too great for the doctor to choose to prescribe. It doesn’t work for everyone. THAT’S the issue, and THAT’S what you’re not getting.

              • You’re also assuming that all women have health insurance and can therefore afford to see a doctor.

          • Angry_Hamst3r says:

            If you cannot take blood thinners then you should not worry about potential blood clothes. Certain types of pills work to prevent mood changes. Weight gain comes from sitting on your lazy ass. Nausea? Isn’t nausea liek a side effect on every medication ever invented?

            Seems like I’ve hit the nerve, rofl. Awesome, bitch away! You entertain me.

          • cc says:

            He’s just a troll, Jes, and not even a good one–not worth arguing with. His ignorance is deliberate and unassailable.

  23. LazyK says:

    Why is the pill regarded as the answer to everything?

    Sure, nothing improves my mood like 15 extra pounds and a tinkered body chemistry, sign me up!

    (P.S., remember this hue and cry from the guys next time a bathroom graph makes front-page. EW, BODILY FLUIDS AND SOLIDS)

    • Angry_Hamst3r says:

      you are wrong, the extra 15 pounds come from you being lazy (you said it yourself)

    • FadedLY says:

      Pill is regarded as an answer to everything here, because all of the non-female posters here are teenage boys thinking they understand how the world works.

      I didn’t think this Lol was laughably funny, but it did elicit a chuckle in how true it is, as a woman. It always happens when you least want it to be there.

      Birth control pill is very bad. Bordering on just dangerous. I can’t believe they still make them like nothing’s changed in 55 years. Regardless, it makes me fairly happy to be gay and not ever have to worry about sperm. :D

  24. Andrea M says:

    Whoever made this graph clearly doesn’t comprehend the concept of the pill. You do NOT have to go “okay, it has been EXACTLY three weeks, time for sugar pills.” Package end coinciding with vacation or whatever you’re doing? Crack open that next pack, keep taking them till vacay is over, then jump back to the sugar pills for a week. It’s not a big deal.

    Better Living Through Chemistry is not just a slogan or a Fatboy Slim album, it’s a very effective concept.

    • cc says:

      Not everyone is on the pill; not everyone can be or wants to be. And even doctors thought, up until fairly recently (and some still do) that not bleeding during that fourth week is somehow risky or would cause one terrible problems, oh noes. The idea of cruising through what would have been your period week by continuing your pills is still new to a lot of women. Plus, it throws you off with your scrip, makes you run out earlier, and then you have to explain that to your doctor and get a make-up month Rxed or go for your annual earlier, especially if you do it more than once a year.

      • lemonjelly says:

        Also, birth control isn’t completely risk-free. A friend of mine wasn’t on the shot for long before she got a huge blood-clot and lost most of her vision. I’m grateful that it didn’t happen to me, but I still get to deal with the mood swings, occasional cramps, headaches, bloating, weight gain, etc etc.

        Still wouldn’t trade it for my period though.
        *shudder*

        • Jes says:

          besides, we’re talking every holiday and major event here. So you’re supposed to skip your period what… 10 out of 12 months? Let’s be real. It doesn’t work like that.

          Besides, not every woman can even take birth control, and it DOES have side effects. I mean, it is a drug.

          • Andrea M says:

            You can take birth control continuously, or so numerous doctors and nurses have told me. The makers originally left that week of sugar pills in cause it freaked the 1960’s housewife guinea pigs out not having a period. It’s perfectly fine to take it continuously and in fact there is a brand on the market specifically made so you only have a period every 4 months. As for starting and ending packs, it doesn’t matter when you do it. The only reason the instructions on the box say to stick to the schedule is so you don’t forget to take a pill. The theory being messing with the schedual screws up the habit of taking a pill every day. If you have an IQ higher than a roadkill squirrel though, you can probably do it.

            As for people not on the pill, I think it’s silly for them to complain. Don’t like your period, take pills to not have one. Don’t like the wait gain? Eat a little less and it won’t happen. Don’t like the side effects? Take a midol.

            • cc says:

              I take BC continuously, for medical reasons, and I can attest that it’s NOT a magic bullet against bleeding. Still happens, sometimes. That’s life in human body.

              The pill was invented by a pharmacist, not doctors. He was Catholic and wanted to make his BC method acceptable to the church, so he built in the monthly period week to make it seem more “natural”. The church rejected it, and he died a sad and broken man. But we still get to enjoy the benefits.

              Don’t like the increased risk of stroke and blood clots, especially since you have a family history? Take them and die, anyway! *rolls eyes* The pill is contraindicated for many women for perfectly valid medical reasons, and dysmenorrhea can be severe enough to be disabling. The ignorant or insensitive often either don’t know this or just don’t care, but it’s true. I say, complain away, ladies. We have it coming, especially after a lifetime spent listening to men complain about their bowel issues.

            • Jes says:

              Ignorant much, Andrea? Does it ever occur to people that prescription drugs aren’t applicable to everyone out there? Some people can’t take midol either. And some people are athletes and still experience weight gain. Are you trying to tell me that although I run all the time and eat healthy and am at a perfect weight, that when I gain 15 pounds I should eat less? Sure, I’ll do that, and when I collapse on the trail, hope someone finds me.

              And having a period once every 4 months is still having a period.

            • Nostawyn says:

              Briefly breaking with my general policy of “not discussing it”– The reason *I* take the pill is partly because if I didn’t, I’d never have a period. And that’s bad because “overacculation of the uterine lining” can cause cancer in some people.

              Don’t act like everything is the same for everybody, please. There are people who need to *not* have a period pretty much ever and people who need to have one every month. There are people like me who don’t get any side effects and actually lose weight, and there are people who gain twenty pounds and have a stroke. There are also people for whom midol doesn’t work.

            • CDthe says:

              ‘Don’t like the side effects? Take a midol.’

              Will that stop the depression that every damn brand of the pill gave me? That drove me to nearly kill myself twice?

              I’ll stick with my IUD thanks, that way I can avoid twits like you.

  25. Xanthera says:

    THIS WINS SO MUCH. I laughed so hard at this my stomach started to hurt. And it’s so true. I once got my period when I was vacationing in HAWAII. The fact that I really wanted to snorkel was my motivation to quit being a wimp and actually start using a tampon. It always comes at the most inconvenient time.

    I crossdress a lot, and I ALWAYS get my period when I’m actually trying to fool people about my gender. The otherwise perfect illusion is ruined by my taking frequent trips into the girls bathroom. In fact, I’m in a play right now and was cast in a male role because of the boy to girl ratio, and I got it just a few days ago. It’s kind of awkward to walk into the bathroom holding a tampon when I’m wearing a mustache. (I’m just lucky it happened during dress rehearsals and not opening night…)

  26. Girlysprite says:

    Yeah recognise much. Also, on the pill you still can have the baby fears, like when you get sick, have toilet problems…quite a chance the pill stops working.

    Luckily, I have a hormone implant now, so no more forgetting the pill, and best part…barely any menstruation either.

  27. DivinE says:

    i just puked a little in my mouth

  28. pling the girl says:

    it’s still mornin, and for quite some time I was wondering why the “sanitary measures” scale has two non-sanitary things at its ends.

  29. Julie says:

    OMG vacation – EVERY SINGLE TIME!!

  30. Leak says:

    Who put “likelihood of menstruation” next to several options for what actually is “amount of menstruation”?

    EPIC FAIL.

  31. Morgan says:

    Oh, that’s too true!!!!!!!

  32. scrapheapchallenge says:

    WIN! this graph is so, so true LOL

  33. Captain Pedantic says:

    Well, this graph is very true, but it’s not particularly funny. And yes, I’m a woman, and yes, I have heavy periods (to the point at which an ultra tampon and maxi with wings actually don’t prevent blood from spilling over and running down my legs while I’m desperately trying to make it to the bathroom at work), so it’s not like I can’t empathise. I just don’t find it funny. Maybe if I didn’t have to deal with it, the humour would hit me :D

    Also, Captain Pedantic points out that “triathlon” is misspelled in the graph.

    • Gobberwart says:

      The fact that this idiot can’t even spell “triathlon” correctly immediately puts him into my asshole file. Even if it’s a she. I don’t care. Let’s learn to spell before we try to graph asswits.

      • thestashattacked says:

        I noted two major grammar mistakes in your post, Gobberwart. Please don’t tell me that you think I’m wrong. I’m a professional copy editor. Let’s learn proper comma and pronoun use before we try to post, smart one.

      • etc says:

        What exactly is the proper method of graphing asswits?

  34. crack says:

    Disgusting.

  35. Megan says:

    This graph was okay, I got a slight chuckle. Not really because it’s all that funny but more because it speaks nothing but the truth.

  36. S says:

    I love that it’s mostly guys going “I don’t have a problem with it! It’s just not funny!” The women seem to see things differently… Menstrual humor is always amusing to me. Because I’ve been there. Generally things on graphjam aren’t funny unless you can relate in some way. That “I totally know what you’re talking about” moment is what makes it so good.

  37. kitkatbar says:

    men make jokes about their own body parts and associated discomforts. so, too, can women about theirs. people freak at the mention of tampons, yet have no issues in hearing about erections lasting more than 4 hours. though this graph could use spell check and a slightly better arrangement, i can understand the frustration and associated humor. you would think men would get this, too, since it interferes with their vacation and wedding night action as well…

  38. swiss says:

    joking about farting isn’t as bad-and at least urine is an easy clean up unlike walking into a bathroom which looks like someone dropped a can of spaghetti sauce everywhere.

    Even child birth is disgusting, yes that area isn’t nice & clean like you see in the movies guys- best way is to get used it.

  39. Z says:

    Oh LOL so true! And don’t forget the CRAMPS!

  40. Mr. T-Bag says:

    Whoever made this is RETARDED. The likelihood of you having your period is a tampon? Tampon and a pad? That makes ABSOLUTELY no sense.

  41. Angry_Hamst3r says:

    I love visiting cheezburger forums. Your posts increase my selfconfidence and convince me that I am not the stupidest person in the world.

    Yah ladies, whine away… because that really shows how you are independent and able to take care of yourselves and deserve something more than to be shut behind a kitchen door.

    • cc says:

      Fail Troll fails to get any.

      • gow says:

        does not fail, is right women bitch because they want to be equals but really they want to be paid as equals because if you mention a inappropriate joke to a women its off to sensitivity training

        • cc says:

          What are you on? What does that even mean? What does it have to do with whether complaining about how inconvenient having periods can be has anything to do with a woman’s ability to support herself and be independent? The earlier comment was stupid and a significant fail, but yours is just insane. Put down the pipe, dude.

          (You know how to tell a guy’s not getting any? He says trollish, anti-woman things on forums. That means he’s either a virgin or it’s been so long since he’s had any his junk is collecting dust bunnies, and he’s angry! Angry at all those wimmins who won’t put out for him. Seriously. The guys who are getting some? They don’t fail. It’s like a game–spot the sexual loser!)

          • Angry_Hamst3r says:

            if gow is on anything, gow’s brain is still functioning…

            You cc, however, are exhibiting insanity, stupidity and inability to argue or even troll. I don’t know if you were born like that or it is a consequence of some chemicals. Not to go off topic here, it might be an ultra case of PMS. I’ve heard it can affect reasoning and general brain performance. Anyway, I am not going to guess any further….

            I wanted to ask if this rant about sexually frustrated troll supposed to be trolling? Are you perhaps projecting your own frustrations on some imaginary person you think you are communicating with? Are you fat and frustrated, cc,… huh? Now you are making me worried about you.

            • cc says:

              Heee! Trolling fail, dude. Get a clear thesis statement, pull your thoughts together, learn to punctuate and try again. And zero points for locating a nerve; you hit every anti-female cliche except “cat-lady” and called me a few names. *yawn* No originality! And not even funny. Not surprising, though, from a guy whose idea of a bon mot is “get in the kitchen.”

              • Angry_Hamst3r says:

                if you are a cat-lady, I’m a school bus.

                Yah, I don’t think I would leave you in the kitchen by yourself. I’m not sure you’re able to safely operate any of the kitchen instruments, and I fear you might accidentally harm yourself. We would not want that to happen now, would we? If you hurt yourself, who would ensure our planet safely progresses towards idiocracy.

                Oh, do you by any chance drive an SUV? Cause if you don’t, you might want to ask the male figure in your life to get you one, so in case you cause a car accident, you don’t get hurt. Because you are a girl, right? And girls cannot drive, right? …
                (I can do this all day, my dear. You were absolutely wrong about me “hitting every anti-female cliche”. There are so many to hit and it is totally awesome that I don’t fit under any of them :o P).

                • cc says:

                  But you’re not getting any funnier, or any more original (although this attempt is a *little* better punctuated. Let the ellipses go, please. They do not denote what you think they do.) And you still haven’t made any sort of point connected with your original comment. You’re just flailing and calling names.

                  Troll baiting just isn’t what it used to be. :( Battle of wits, unarmed opponent, etc. *sigh*

    • Dr. Sunshine says:

      Wait, women aren’t doing any whining here. It’s the dudes flipping out and covering their eyes at the big scary period joke.

  42. Smileyguy says:

    How do you “accidentally” et pregnant?

    • cc says:

      Same way you accidentally get somebody pregnant.

    • thestashattacked says:

      Quite easily. Condom breaks, taking any one of the vast number of medications that can interfere with birth control, diaphragm slips – this really does happen. I’m a testament to the phenomenon!

  43. Wild Earthworm says:

    Damn, now I’m feeling bad for people who get their period at inconvenient occasions.

    • swiss says:

      I feel sorry for women for the fact they can’t urinate as easily as men. If women got a hysterectomy wouldn’t it solve the period issue?

      • thestashattacked says:

        It would also cause immediate, premature menopause. Hot flashes, night sweats, the whole nine yards.

        Not to mention, if every woman on the planet got a hysterectomy before giving birth, it would wipe out the human race.

        But, yeah, it would solve the period issue.

  44. MyTwoCents says:

    Great subject. I can see where you were going with this, but the graph needs work for the joke to have it’s full potential :-)

  45. Wolvie says:

    Gross

  46. ClariPossum says:

    I think they should have included “Day of GYN Appointment” on this graph, LoL.

  47. graphingcalculator says:

    lol
    i think it should b changed a bit thought….
    i dont use tampons…. ‘>_<

  48. Tash says:

    I am a female and i found this graph to be fairly accurate but its not funny or clever, just kinda lame.


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