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Things My Dog Will Bark At To Save My Life


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Things My Dog Will Bark At To Save My Life

Graph by: silletta via Graph Jam Builder

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» 43 TPS Reports

  1. me says:

    Not funny. You get burglarized less often than you see a bird, so your dog barks at birds more often. Unless maybe you meant to use a bar chart?

    • /mock says:

      Well according to the chart, 3% of the OP’s dog’s barking is done at burglars.

      He’s either exceptionally unlucky or lives in a bad neighbourhood, I guess.

  2. RJ says:

    Burglars only burgle. They don’t attack your life. You meant to say robber, maybe?

    • Gero says:

      Burglars don’t kill people? Oh, thank god, I didn’t realize that the local news stations were just making up all those peope being killed during home invasions…

    • katdemon♄fire says:

      If you wake up and find them, they might. Not always on purpose though.

  3. Ben says:

    my head hurts from trying to understand the chart+me’s comment.

  4. lc says:

    Why does the burglar have to be black?

    • Silletta says:

      I made the burglar black ‘cuz they usually wear black O_o not cuz he’s black himself… and to other peeps: I did this graph in like 2 seconds I didn’t really think about the whole bar graph vs. pie chart thing, or anything else, really.. >.<

  5. RJ says:

    Wow, didn’t notice that. Take the racist test from Harvard.

    https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/

  6. J says:

    They forgot the most important thing – Garbage Trucks. My dogs bark their heads off every Thursday at 5:30am when the garbage gets stolen.

  7. T says:

    This must be one of those small, spoiled, untrained dogs that I have to fiercely resist the temptation to punt down a flight of stairs.

    • Stan says:

      -_- You are aware of the existence of large, spoiled, untrained dogs, right? Or are you just mentioning small dogs cuz you are to much of a pussy to attempt punting a large dog down some stairs?

  8. holy cow! says:

    What? No cats? No blades of grass? No postman? No bicycles? There’s a huge list I could name for all the dogs in my neighborhood, and they all start at 5:30am with the garbage truck. And, yes… most of them are the small, spoiled, untrained, “puntables” that the owners consider accessories as opposed to pets, seen regularly in “outfits”. *shudder*

    • Crystal Kyuuketsuki says:

      My dog was fairly big and still annoyingly barked at everything. My neighbors complained; but they think its ok for them to buy a dog that barks at anything, even when our dog has been sent to the pound.

    • Bionelly says:

      Mine actually doesn’t bark at the garbage truck, but he makes up for it by barking at people who knock on the *neighbor’s* door. Oh, and he’s also actually barked at himself before, when he was scratching and he bumped against the wall and it sounded like somebody knocking on a door. He’s really not the brightest dog…

    • sharingiscaring5 says:

      A lot of small dogs have to be kept in clothing if they are in colder places.

  9. Jes says:

    Why. Why is every other graph that makes it to the front page about dogs.

  10. hehe says:

    Haha, yea, dogs are a big pain in the a**:D

  11. Debbie says:

    Well, I liked the chart. I have a little Jack Russell who will bark viciously at the wind in an effort to save my life. He also barks viciously at the slacker next door neighbor whenever the kid comes and goes. And then there’s the “necessary” schooling of the cat at 3:30 a.m. He’s a great little dog and is fiercely loyal/protective of me. He makes me feel important. : )

  12. Ceiling Cat says:

    My dog barks at the worst times, like when I’m holding my cat who has really sharp claws :P

  13. Teale says:

    Thankfully this is the opposite for me. My dog barks at nothing unless we’re playing but she woke us up at 2:30 in the morning barking at someone breaking into our apartment last Spring.

  14. Dog Trainer says:

    K, now lets make a clever chart on retarded dog owners who can’t teach their dogs manners or have the ability to control obnoxious, unnecessary bad behavior. “LOL MY DOG IS BAD ISNT IT FUNNY LOL!!1!ONE!!”

    • Alex says:

      I think this chart works lovely demonstrating the retarded owner… obviously this poor dog isn’t socialized or exercised and was never trained right from wrong. I feel bad for it! The owner is pissed at the dog but should be pissed at himself for being a horrible owner.

      • Silletta says:

        I’m not mad at my dog. I love my dog. And she is now trained. But before she was trained, she barked at a lot of things. Dogs don’t start out being trained. She’s a corgi, which is in the herding group; these dogs tend to bark more often at things than dogs from other groups..

      • Sofia says:

        I, for one, love how Alex said “obviously this poor dog isn’t socialized,” etc etc. Well, Alex, obviously you wouln’t know a joke even if it jumped on your face and broke your nose.
        The comment by Dog Trainer is equally as thoughtful. He/she OBVIOUSLY thinks he/she is very intelligent and very mature – I mean, why else would the person use inaccurate words, grammatical mistakes, and an idiotic quotation that is meant to be funny but in fact shows immense stupidity?

        You’re all idiots for thinking Siletta, the graph-maker, is a cruel, rascist dog owner. Learn to take a joke. That is what this site is for.

  15. nichole says:

    They forgot flies. And anything super tiny with wings.

  16. Stefanie says:

    The vaccume cleaner “save me from vacuming please”

  17. vikingwarbrides says:

    The also left out leaves, squirrels and other dogs that are barking four blocks away. And my peach-faced love bird used to screech whenever he heard birds on television.

  18. Jackson says:

    I don’t understand what everyone’s complaining about, looks pretty accurate to me. I had a guy steal my car and all four of my dogs were silent, but every morning when my neighbor gets in his car they go insane.

  19. D.R. says:

    The delivery truck! :)

  20. AcidRayne says:

    I’d have to add one to this: Aerosol cans. Anything that sprays, my dog will bark and fight it to the death to protect us! Save us from that sweet Febreeze smell! Protect us from the non-stick cooking spray!

  21. Crystal Kyuuketsuki says:

    This graph reminds me of Advice Dog.

  22. Did anyone else notice that the “Burglars” sliver is black?

  23. required says:

    U forgot “nothing”

  24. TRAINER says:

    MY DOG BARKS AT BUGS CRAWLING ON THE GROUND. YEAH HE’S WEIRD.

  25. The best person in the universe says:

    You forgot “Mailmen”.

  26. wendy says:

    washing machines, dryers, doorbells, heart monitors, toaster ovens, microwaves, any medical equipment that emits a high pitched beep, in real life or on tv.

  27. sarah says:

    some people are taking this chart way too seriously, it was made to be funny and silly, not for you to actually think about it in real life terms.

    Good job, chart maker, i was amused. thanks.

  28. Heather says:

    Maybe the Burglar will have a flashlight?

  29. MamaSylvia says:

    You’re spot-on about the doorbell. I cannot convince my dog that barking AFTER the doorbell is rung is pointless.

    OTOH, I had a previous dog so well-trained that when she heard something outside my window at 1:30 AM and whimpered, and I thought it was just the wind blowing a tree branch against my window and told her it was okay, she believed me. Even when the burglar pried the window open and started coming in. That was not my favorite experience.


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