Comments on: Why buying a car sucks.

By: OZZZZZIEEE

OZZZZZIEEE — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 02:52:36 +0000

Hah! Such plebeian thoughts of gas mileage! *sips from wineglass*

By: JohnHo

JohnHo — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 19:57:48 +0000

Still funnyth!

By: JohnHo

JohnHo — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 19:57:10 +0000

Funnyth!

By: Hashmeer Shashmeer

Hashmeer Shashmeer — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 03:41:08 +0000

I hate you so much I take your mother on a date,
and telling her she’s paying and i’m eating five steaks !

By: John

John — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 02:56:54 +0000

Mazda 5 – does all three for me. Ok, it isn’t stylish but it is nice to drive, fits family, and gets quite decent gas mileage. We have the manual transmission which is a bonus. Maybe competition will show up one day.

By: kath

kath — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:37:29 +0000

Minivans, crossovers, whatever you call them, they are all ugly and scream suburban family. I feel sorry for anyone who drives one of those ridiculous things.

By: Dude

Dude — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:56:45 +0000

So you want NO cars that get good mileage? Wow.

By: ghostofgenerayburn

ghostofgenerayburn — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 17:40:03 +0000

^^Ignore comment fail above. I meant to reply to someone, so out of context it makes no sense.

By: ghostofgenerayburn

ghostofgenerayburn — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 17:39:16 +0000

Liberals drive minivans, too. I’m just sayin’.

By: ghostofgenerayburn

ghostofgenerayburn — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 17:38:41 +0000

Liberals drive minivans, too. I’m just sayin’.

By: jonofdeath

jonofdeath — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 17:27:37 +0000

Why live your life in anger just trying to piss off people you don’t even care about?

By: Jocasta

Jocasta — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:55:06 +0000

That’s nice.

By: TheObject

TheObject — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:29:16 +0000

Trouble being, once you buy a mini-van (or leave your wife alone long enough to end up with one in your driveway), you have one more place in which to breed… It’s a downward spiral from there.

By: TheObject

TheObject — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:27:18 +0000

Win for my father: he had 3 kids and a 67 GT. My sister rode on the hump. The hump should be submitted to epic win.

By: Hehe!

Hehe! — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:24:55 +0000

Here, here! *raises glass*

By: Pablo

Pablo — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:37:56 +0000

Exactly. You WANT the Mustang GT, or Corvette, or whatever that will neither hold you family or get good good gas mileage. You NEED the car that will hold you, the wife, two booster seats a car seat and not get 7 mpg.

By: papajon0s1

papajon0s1 — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 13:21:57 +0000

I drive a minivan alone just to tick off the liberals.

By: Paul

Paul — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 05:48:56 +0000

I loved my subaru legacy station wagon until some asshole stole it and crashed it. Depending on the size of your family (physically and in numbers), a station wagon could be perfect. My 96 ford escort gets 30mpg and I can’t imagine they’ve gone down since then. It’s got a good amount of trunk space for it’s size too.

By: wedgeman

wedgeman — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 01:40:19 +0000

My choice pickup with a cap and the windows blacked out for the wind.

although the mileage sucks, you don’t look like a total wiener for driving a dork-mobile (aka “minivan”).

Also, you can throw a dozen kids in the back, and you won’t be able to hear them fighting back there. Bonus: your dog can go back there too, and won’t spend the entire trip trying to climb into the front or drooling on the console. He’ll keep the kids busy too.

The cap is to keep them from throwing each other/truck parts/beer cans/raccoon traps over the side at highway speeds. The blacked out windows keep nosy cops from interfering with your business.

sucks when they get into your emergency beer, though. the wife does NOT like that. Which is the final positive to this ingenious design. When the wife throws you out because four kids and a German Shepherd somehow drank an entire two-four of beer on the ride home from school, you have somewhere sheltered to sleep.

By: slupine

slupine — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 23:57:04 +0000

Town & Country and the related models (Caravan and Voyager) are great. My family has had… so many over the years. The first one we ever had, my dad sold to his sister and she’s still driving it. That thing’s been running since… I want to say 81? They run like tanks if well cared for.

Though some companies do still make stationwagons that aren’t bad either.

By: slupine

slupine — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 23:54:49 +0000

My minivan gets the same gas mileage as my mother’s Malibu.

And they said “reasonable gas mileage” not “fantastic”. So like… better than an SUV for the size by a fair stretch.

By: slupine

slupine — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 23:53:42 +0000

There’s still a few places.

Bonus: minivans have low insurance rates.

By: kg333

kg333 — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 23:32:03 +0000

20 mpg simply beats everything else that carries 7 or 8 people…it’s all relative.

By: Devylan

Devylan — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 21:44:33 +0000

yessssss! May Chris Farley rest in peace!

By: curtis hutcherson

curtis hutcherson — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 21:15:37 +0000

station wagons

By: Antiauk

Antiauk — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 20:57:25 +0000

You could have stopped breeding _before_ you needed a minivan.

By: Marekatt

Marekatt — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 20:47:50 +0000

Just ’cause you got a small penis doesn’t mean everyone else feel the same.

By: Snickers

Snickers — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 20:32:25 +0000

I lol’d a lot when I read that. Just so you know.

By: Gustav

Gustav — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 20:29:13 +0000

Most parents in my neighbourhood think they need a minivan when they pop out their first kid. Until you have 3 or 4 kids, you don’t need a minivan.

By: GammaPaladin

GammaPaladin — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 20:13:24 +0000

Real men aren’t embarrassed to drive minivans.

And yes, minivans get good mileage compared to SUVs, which are the only other thing that will carry a bunch of kids + cargo comfortably.

Personally I drive one because I needed something capable of lugging lumber and my tools. So it was either an SUV (Which have less usable cargo room and are less comfortable passenger vehicles), a pickup truck (Which are [i]horrible[/i] passenger vehicles, in the instance that I want to drive friends anywhere), or a van.

I got a Chrysler Town & Country. The mileage is better than any SUV and most pickups, it has more passenger and cargo room than any SUV, and I can pop the seats up to carry 6 passengers very comfortably, which is something no pickup could ever do.

By: MannyCalavera

MannyCalavera — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:58:34 +0000

That graph also means that you don’t want a vehicule that can carry your family

By: beatusmongous

beatusmongous — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:54:59 +0000

I can get 50mpg in my Quest if I draft a big rig on the freeway.

But normally I get around 27mpg on the highway, and 16mpg in town.

By: Blade

Blade — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:45:10 +0000

I-D-I-T-O-T-H: Here’s a cuponette for un punch to the face!

By: jzimbert

jzimbert — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:18:50 +0000

Down by the river?

By: boaks

boaks — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:15:56 +0000

Since when do mini-vans get decent gas mileage? Maybe they do now, but the last I heard, they only get around 20 mpg. I’ll take my little Toyota with its 40mpg any day… (but then again, I don’t have a family and all its stuff to tote around, so this graph wouldn’t apply to me anyway)

By: Mina

Mina — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:13:48 +0000

win!

By: Sqwirk

Sqwirk — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:33:00 +0000

They could just have really fat kids?

By: ...

... — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:23:23 +0000

It’s called birth control, use it. You idiots need to stop having kids, then you won’t have anything to complain about in these stupid graphs, and neither will I.

By: JW.

JW. — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:20:52 +0000

There’s only one problem with this graph…. just about nobody makes mini-vans anymore… they’re all “crossover vehicles” now… pff… I miss my mini-vans, (I’ve had three at different times) they were awesome!

By: Cecona

Cecona — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:01:27 +0000

I like vans because you can sleep in them.

By: MeOmY

MeOmY — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:59:45 +0000

“Moron” was coined in 1910 by psychologist Henry H. Goddard[3] from the Greek word moros, which meant “dull” (as opposed to “sharp”), and used to describe a person with a mental age located between 8 and 12 on the Binet scale.[4] It was once applied to people with an IQ of 51-70, being superior in one degree to “imbecile” (IQ of 26-50) and superior in two degrees to “idiot” (IQ of 0-25). The word moron, along with others including “retarded”, “idiotic”, “imbecilic”, “stupid”, and “feeble-minded”, was formerly considered a valid descriptor in the psychological community, but it is now deprecated by psychologists.[5]

By: MeOmY

MeOmY — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:59:20 +0000

Idiot is a word derived from the Greek ἰδιώτης, idiōtēs (“person lacking professional skill,” “a private citizen,” “individual”), from ἴδιος, idios (“private,” “one’s own”).[1] In Latin the word idiota (“ordinary person, layman”) preceded the Late Latin meaning “uneducated or ignorant person.”[2] Its modern meaning and form dates back to Middle English around the year 1300, from the Old French idiote (“uneducated or ignorant person”). The related word idiocy dates to 1487 and may have been analogously modeled on the words prophet[3] and prophecy.[4][5] The word has cognates in many other languages.

By: Torus2112

Torus2112 — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:18:52 +0000

I like vans, they’re chillin. My parent’s old ‘99 Grand Caravan with the 3.8L went like stink.

By: The Shaggy Marlin

The Shaggy Marlin — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:15:23 +0000

I don’t know what’s wrong with that guy but minivans are sweet.

By: izd

izd — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:15:13 +0000

2th!!!

By: ums

ums — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:03:12 +0000

1th!!!