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It does NOT take two hours to apply eye liner and mascara.
I didn’t know it cost so much, either. I’ll have to talk to my wife about that one. It could be a source of future funds for me to buy more beer with.
future budgeting win
It’s also incorrect. They don’t notice the shirt, they notice the cleavage.
And that’s free!
(for … most women.)
Well played Melini
Speak for yourself! It takes me a long, long time because I don’t have the makeup gene.
NO matter HOW challenged you are… there is no way it will take you TWO hours to apply eyeliner.
I can see if you want to make your entire face look like Barbie,
but drawing a line… I’m pretty sure I learned that in kindergarten.
It’s called hyperbole… -_- And good eye make up really does take the longest… I’d say at least 15 minutes…
15mins? I just had mine put on at the factory. 5 seconds baby
WIN!
win, surely win…
gurl can you shut up..its a joke no duh you learned how to draw a line in kindergarden. aint no one care
It does if you’re new at it…
it also depends on the mascara/eyeliner…
and some people get distracted so you also have consider that…
Yeah it does
No it doesn’t.
Nothing quite like a good sexist graph…
not sexist. It’s just stating the truth.
The truth is sexist. Let’s sue it.
I second that.
I third that.
XD
albeit this is a humerous joke?
You know who we should sue? The fashion designers that insist all shirts that aren’t t-shirts have a low cut front.
Why would we sue them for that? Let’s sue the people who make t-shirts that aren’t low cut.
hear hear! Subpoena the turtleneck makers! Crew neck? More like sue neck!
Why? Two words: Fat people.
We should sue them too!
Ahahahaha.
Fat is a sin and should be dealt with accordingly.
Bewbies FTMFW!!!!
And, if it takes you two hours to put on mascara, and eyeliner, perhaps you should consider using less than two gallons…
Or get rid of all those extra eyes
It doesn’t, really. It takes 5 minutes.
And eye makeup doesn’t even cost that much, unless you buy a really expensive kind. xD
Younger skin is more forgiving; my wife’s stupefyingly gorgeous but she’s also fortyfrmmbmrmmble, and a full kit of makeup will hit us for about $80. Lasts six to eight weeks though, except if she’s got a lot of business meetings and crap that month, then the foundation goes pretty quick. Lotta money for something that doesn’t look like it’s there at all if you’re putting it on right.
I know, right?
Jeans should be bigger than shirt.
Nah. The orange wedge is too big, and the purple wedge should be bigger. Red is about right.
Depends on who’s looking really… and how much junk you have in your trunk… as long as it’s not too much, and they’re looking for another reason entirely.
Yep, depends on the guy. I’m a butt guy. But blatant cleavage does have the tendency to get my attention…
Yeah, I’m all about the booty. Lol. I’m not a guy, for anyone who doesn’t know this yet, btw. Blatant cleavage can be nice, too, but some ladies should really not show off that part of their bodies.
True story, and let me throw in my vote for the booylicious ladies as well, JLo’s behind needs to be enshrined and preserved for future generations! Shakira’s tushy is also high on the list!
Bow down to the booty!
*Booty bow* (maybe some toe ogling while I’m down there)
See ladies? We don’t care about how much money you have.
This graph is a FAIL. Everyone knows that the first thing a guy notices on a girl is her bewbz.
That’s exactly what the graph is saying. Although, the monetary value of each item is a bit unnecessary imo.
Actually, it’s not. It’s saying men notice the shirt, which isn’t true. We notice where the shirt is /missing/. That’s the crucial difference.
Very good point. It’s not the shirt itself that’s attracting the attention.
I think the maker of the graph did a poor job of representation, because yes, technically the graph refers to the shirt, but I’m pretty sure the implication is on the cleavage, or “where the shirt is /missing/.” In other words, I agree with you, but I don’t think that’s what the maker meant to say.
I’m sure that’s what the maker meant, that’s why they put THAT EXPOSES CLEAVAGE. Quit being a bunch of nitpickers, god what have these websites become…?
understanding fail
Not all men stare at teh bewbz.
Also, maybe now so many women will stop buying all those damn shoes.
NEVER!! DSW is my temple and any man that goes near my shoe closet is in for trouble!!
I’d take a pair of shoes over a man any day!
Enjoy your lonely, pointless existence then.
A life with shoes may be lonely, but considering how sharp those shoes are, it’s hard to call it “point-less”.
Some women stare… LOL.
I HATE women like this. Makes me ashamed to be female -.-
I WISH I WAS BORN A GUY.
truth comes out win
I am very confused by your anger. Women who stare at other women or women who stare at other men? And are you ashamed because they like what they see, or because they are making fun of what they see? And if you had been born a guy, would you not be ashamed to be male for the same reason(s)?
Uh actually I was saying I’m ashamed of any woman who actually goes out and spends that much on clothing/shoes/ accessories.
Oh, okay, because when you started out with, “Some women stare,” it made me think you were going in another direction. Misunderstanding. My mistake.
Ah.
No, was just saying some women stare ;D
so do I, being a girl sucks.
theres a hint how to save money and make people notice you in this graph guess were… and any guy who says they like your shoes is lying, we dont.
Or maybe the guy isn’t lying. Maybe he’s gay.
When a man says “nice shoes” he’s really looking at your legs.
Or it may be a semi-truth in that, being a guy that loves toe cleavage, he’s checking out your feet.
Very true, very true. I have discovered recently that my husband has a bit of a foot fetish. But he really likes stockings and knee-highs.
Pretty feet are a turn on. If you are wearing shoes that accentuate your lovely piggies you probably will get a “nice shoe” compliment. Me, I just cut to the chase and say “Nice Piggies”
Lol. Awesome.
Well, they like something. In theory, if you want to complement a woman, you complement her on her clothing/accessories, which she chose. You don’t complement the bewbs/legs/eyes you are actually interested in. Mom gave her those and she isn’t as proud. Or something. If I like a girl, I usually go with ‘Which do you like better, cake or pie?’. Or ‘Cats or dogs?’. It actually starts a conversation.
ultimately, wearing nothing will get you noticed.
it’s also cheaper.
Damn straight.
You sound like someone I know…funny ;D
In some cases it will also get you arrested, also from what I’ve seen, the people who would walk around in public naked if they could are the last people on earth who should be. Nude beaches, good concept – poor execution
I don’t see where anybody claimed women did stuff to impress men. I do believe you failed.
Actually most men don’t give a damn about clothes
We do if it hides she-monsters.
It’s not the shirt we’re noticing….
Ditto.
SO…… what have you learned women?
That it takes 2 hours to apply mascara? Or that some crazies buy $110 perfume?
$110 for designer perfume isn’t that big of a leap, sadly…
What is “antique perfume”… sounds stinky…
The bottle of “Joy” I inherited from my grandmother still smells wonderful. Pure essence of rose petals.
It all smells horrible. I rather smell body odor.
Personally, I’ve learned to dress in sweatpants so as not to attract the attention from guys like you. :]
As usual, I must go with “none of the above”.
Yeah, and…?
What a surprising ratio…
This.
My makeup costs about $7 for each item.
Amd my shirts/shoes/jeans cost WAY less than that.
Bargain shopping, kids. Know where to hunt and how to watch for sales and you can get sexy clothes for under $10 easy.
I’d like to know why girls have to dress sexy to attract men, or if men think this is what women do (or is it?). I’ve never had a problem getting men, when I don’t let my various cracks and cleavage hang out.
I don’t dress sexy to attract men. I dress sexy to make myself feel sexy. But sometimes I feel sexy in jeans and a t-shirt, depending on the style and cut, as well as the accessories and shoes. When I feel sexy I attract men because they are attracted to my confidence. See how that works? I’m just speaking for myself of course.
No, that’s pretty much how it’s supposed to work – we dress to make ourselves feel sexy, and that in turn attracts men to us.
Though it’s not like I’m going to dress like a slut to attract men – that’d be attracting the wrong kind of man.
Just don’t complain if men are leering at you because you are dressed sexy. Guys HATE it when women do that, because it makes them look like hypocrites. I mean, I have seen women SNAP at men because they are looking at her despite she has cleavage a mile long. If you don’t want to attract attention, don’t dress like that! Any clothing that hugs the curves or shows off skin in the right places is gonna make guys look.
Seriously, it isn’t your “confidence” men are attracted to. Men won’t know a single thing about your personality when they look at you. The first thing on their mind is not “hey, she looks confident!” It’s your body. Your curvaceous, sexy body.
Seriously. When I dress like that, it’s because I WANT to be looked at.
I consider the stares to be a nice ego boost, actually.
Now, if you touch without permission, then your hand might come off for it. But that’s different.
Exactly.
So, if you are dressed like that in public, and say you are in the mall alone, would you mind if a guy came up to you and complimented your appearance?
Speaking of which, I am at a loss on where to begin with “picking up” women…I mean, I would like to be in a relationship for once in my life, so where should I start?
I attracted my boyfriend initially wearing full fencing body armor. lol
I only wear the sexy stuff now that I’ve got him because it’d fun and he likes it now and then.
That’s pretty hot actually.
Dress however you want, but for God’s sake don’t buy shoes that hurt your feet. Why do women insist on wearing shoes that cause both pain and physical damage?
And another thing: looking hot is a matter of attitude. If fancy lingerie and designer dresses give you confidence, fine. But the truth is that Susan Sarandon looks hot in a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants because she knows she IS hot, regardless. And we can tell.
True about the shoes causing damage. Also, they inhibit one’s ability to adapt to terrain and environment. Some brilliant architect made the walkway to my office out of roughly hewn stone…NOT high heel friendly at all.
And I learned in self-defense class to not wear shoes I can’t run in. So, lower heels, flats, etc. work if one cares about safety.
Also: make-up. What a load of crap, made to further make our daily lives more filled with consumer goods, and make us look none the better.
Who the crud made the arbitrary code that declares long eye-lashes to be a desirable trait? Or high cheek bones?
Thank you! Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person who doesn’t think that not wearing make-up is “lazy”.
I remember reading in a book on growning up (for girls) that some of the arbitrary code (like full red lips, red checks, noticable eyes) were popular because they made the women look like she was turned on all the time- not sure why this is supposed to be a good thing in day to day life though.
From time to time people try to justify ideals using biology. Perhaps their conclusions are correct, perhaps not, either way it’s still an appeal to nature fallacy. We have the ability to reason and ignore primitive instincts.
True, but the question remains, why would you want to? Resisting instinct just to resist instinct is lunacy if the instinct actually serves a useful and rational purpose. This particular example, the drive to reproduce, is a perfect example. Ignoring it will result in your removal from the gene pool, genetic suicide, an unacceptable outcome for a living organism. In this instance, the features that makeup tries to reproduce are far from arbitrary. Most of them (bright eyes, full lips etc.) are indicators of genetic health, and thus, suitability for mating.
Ironically, the drive to reproduce is a prime example of something I ignore. There’s nothing useful or rational about it.
Now, if you’re looking for a suitable mate to reproduce with, there are are far more important factors than vague indicators of genetic health, especially false ones you buy in little bottles.
If you choose a partner rationally you would consider personality, intelligence, income and other such factors, along with less vague indicators of health like what inheritable diseases run in the family and so on.
Basically, that arbitrary code (nice skin, rosy cheeks, healthy looking hair, full lips) appeals to basic biological human nature – all those traits make the woman seem more fertile, which appeals to men for basic reproduction purposes. That’s also most likely the reason why most men think large breasts are pleasing.
Seems like people are trying too hard to justify it, rather than just calling it stupid and moving on.
Remark about a grown-up woman for the utter and total win.
Nice way to jump the gun- it never said women buy them to impress men, it said that men don’t notice them. I don’t notice new shoes either, but then again, I never got the shoe thing anyway. I have my tennies and a pair of black formal shoes, I don’t see what else I would really need.
I tend to notice shoes first, followed by hair.
Perfume is always noticeable, but chances are they either use
too much, or it’s not very pleasant smelling.
I would guess this comment was written by a woman. The graph follows too many misconceptions based on ‘fashion’, an industry directed by women and gay men. For example, most of my friends and I don’t like perfumes. Anything stronger than a lingering shampoo aroma is too much and actually makes us wonder what she’s trying to cover up, or worse yet, trying to find a beer or shot to wash out that nasty film that coats the back of the tongue if you make the mistake of inhaling too close. Shoes….? Be comfortable for Christ’s sake. Mascara…why? If two hours are going to be spent doing something, go for a run or a walk: there’s not much more attractive than a healthy body. And no, I don’t mean thin. That would be another misconception stemming from Vogue. Keira Knightley USED to be pretty, but now she looks pretty scary. As my father always says, “it would be like going to bed with your bicycle”. The slim-fit jeans…Only to wonder why anyone would wear something that obviously uncomfortable. Pants that allow for movement and hang in the right places are much more attractive and eye-catching.
These things being said, I’m not the ‘everyman’, so I can’t speak for all, just myself and those I know.
^agree
Women seem to like making up all these crazy rules and then complain that they arn’t happy. They can’t seem to figure out most if it is self imposed so they blame men.
True, true, true. But, having been married, I do understand that the only point to my existence is so she will have someone to blame!
Are you still married?
Not if he’s lucky!
j/k
I’m married… and it’s ok, sometimes.
Why wear clothes when wearing nothing at all gets you more attention
i feel like we can now deleted every prior post.
Hey that is really a perfect chart, your chart is giving the perfect sense for what qualities firstly men looks for the women..
Here’s a secret: Most of the ‘dressing up’ women do isn’t for men. Its for the much harsher judgement of other women. Oh. And the mirror.
I’m all about the mirror! You are your own worst enemy, afterall, so I have to make sure I like what I see in order to leave the house with confidence. Forget what everyone else thinks about your appearance and do what makes you happy.
Sorry fellow men in pain, but once she’s got her hooks in you, out come the granny panties! That’s life gentleman. Here’s a clue, don’t confuse love and lust. This graph is about lust! Lust is a small subset of love. I’d do a graph but it wouldn’t be very funny. Look, if you treat her right you’ll get the sexy thing when she’s ready to do it. I mean, c’mon guys, you’re pretty much ready all the time anyway, aren’t ya? Give her a break! You just have to learn when to play your trump cards and you’ll be just fine. In the meantime, sunglasses are your best friend!
love fail
lust win
You’re awesome.
Noop, when I married my previous wife she switched from full-coverage to an all-tanga wardrobe and never looked back. I can get you her phone number if you like. Women are not all or even most like you say they are, sorry.
Antique perfume?
That would probably smell like wee
The graph is way off everything except for the cleavage should be at about one percent.
Speak for yourself.
Stating something about yourself might leave you exposed to ridicule. If you’re not a strong personality, it’s easier to claim a group you belong to is a certain way than stand up for what you personally think.
Also, I think they like to tell themselves everyone who shares their gender is like them, so they can feel normal.
I hate feeling normal.
Wow.. do guys really like boobs THAT much??
No.
GOOD. I was worried that all my efforts to make the REST of my body look nice were all in vain!
Actually, they are. You either look good or you don’t, no amount of effort will change that. Effort to conform to an ideal just makes you less interesting, on the intellectual level.
Eh, to a point, sure; but a great-fitting pair of jeans is STILL a great-fitting pair of jeans.
so if I’m not “ideal” i should just deal with it and never have men notice me? thanks.
Totally no.
How about a friendly smile or getting my nerdy jokes? WAY better. WAY WAY.
Personally, as a guy, I look way more for a personality. Also, I really dont like girls with lots of make up (makes them look like clowns.) I would perfer little to none.
Of course this graph is accurate for when just meeting someone random.
Take this as a good lesson, girls. Don’t waste money on expensive clothes, because:
If he likes your shoes, he’s probably gay.
If he just stares at your cleavage, he’s probably a pervert.
The guy you’re REALLY looking for doesn’t give a **** what you’re wearing.
Take it from a male.
or he could have a foot or shoe fetish. or both.
If he *just* stares at your cleavage, he’s probably a pervert; if he splits his time about 50/50 between your chest and your face, it means he’s male.
Seriously, I’ve never understood this….Why do the 2 hours of mascara? We’re just going to be looking at your cleavage anyway. Save the time!
I disagree with the chart. I’d notice a woman’s shoes before her antique perfume. The perfume would be the least likely thing I’d notice, much less recognize it as “antique”.
I’d put “shoes” as only slightly smaller slice than “slim fit jeans”. After all, while I’m admiring a woman’s slim fit jeans, I’ll continue down to check out her shoes.
And if she’s wearing the inexpensive t-shirt that exposes cleavage, that trumps everything. I try my hardest (no pun intended) to notice her mascara/eyeliner so I don’t look too much like a perv for staring at her cleavage.
I almost always notice elegant shoes, especially if they’re noticeably un-ridiculous. Then again, looking good in nice shoes is also a sign of a woman who didn’t destroy her feet by wearing um, ridiculous shoes… er, and I’m not a foot fetishist either so shuddup. I notice perfume and makeup and hair too. Boobs are nifty, but they’re not the whole person.
Yeah, I’m a grownup. ::sigh::
Tldnl
hmmm and if a girl does not have cleavage?? dont you think this chart is a bit unfair?
Forty dollar pair of jeans that will perhaps try to devour your vag. Yet for twelve bucks, you can let the girls almost out of the saloon. But boy does that bucket of eye liner go so well with that offensively intense perfume and those I’m-going-to-die shoes. >_>
Haha looks like my graph made it. For the most part, I was tired and wanted to get this graph out of the way. I really could have lowered the time to apply the mascara or the cost of the perfume (although I did leave the keyword “antique” in there). And on a last note, I really wasn’t implying that they noticed the shirt.. I’m implying that they notice the shirt exposes cleavage. Bottom line women: it’s cute that you spend the time to put on make-up and get your hair perfect (my oldest sister still spends half hour doing her hair), but when it’s all said and done all we noticed was your cleavage/tight jeans
There is missing the biggest proportion: $0.00 no bra.
I think that goes without saying, panzi…true anyway ;D