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Things a five year old boy can get away with that I can’t



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Things a five year old boy can get away with that I can’t

Graph by: ten-eight-cious via Graph Jam Builder

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  1. That One Guy says:

    Kids have it easy nowadays. I couldn’t write on the walls when I was five.

    Then again, we had paper back then.

  2. Starlinguk says:

    My 5-year old couldn’t get away with any of those things. I think you may be confusing them with 2-year olds.

    • ChiMom says:

      Exactly. 2=exploring/doesn’t know any better. 5=slap his parents.

      • slupine says:

        And depending on the 2-year-old, still slap his parents. My baby cousin knew better at that age, then again, he’s freakishly smart. By then he was talking better than some kindergarteners…

        I’ve met a few like that, actually…

    • ElfKing says:

      Whoever you people (or person) are that is stealing my name, you are very clever. Meh, you can keep my name. I’m just going to change mine.

  3. (o)(o) Lover says:

    Oh what it was to be a toddler.

  4. James the Conquerer says:

    Fart loudly and giggle uncontrollably.

  5. Flint says:

    Why is this ins pie chart form? What do the slice sizes represent?

    • RS says:

      Ha ha ha! Don’t you get it? The biggest part is the punchline!
      That’s how pie charts work, isn’t it?

      • Aaaaargh says:

        No it doesn’t. The size of the slices is meant to represent a quantity. If your maths teacher told you that the biggest slice always represents a punchline he was lying.

  6. Todd says:

    Todd can get away with peeing his pants and crying any time he wants. You’re all wusses.

    Anyone want a real man, look me up.

  7. Kelly says:

    on the contrary, whenever my little cousin tries it he gets in trouble. he knows he is not supposed to.

  8. mojojo says:

    I don’t know what 5 year old gets away with ALL that, but I don’t want him near me.

    There’s a diff between “boys will be boys” and being a demon-spawn.

  9. dardub says:

    What’s the deal with these non-quantitative lists?

  10. blazinghyphens says:

    This graph is useless without a video.

  11. lbl03c says:

    learned that the hard way, did ya?

  12. ElfKing says:

    It means it’s time to see a doctor, maybe?
    *badumching*

  13. Homer says:

    It means you have been hanging around with Todd and CAPM.

    • Devylan says:

      No, it means some jackoff stole my name. All of the regulars should know by now that I don’t leave assinine comments like this.

  14. Misti says:

    I can promise you that there are many, many women that would not let a 5 year old would not get away with that, myself included. Not appropriate, no matter the age.

    • Dina says:

      I’ve had it happen to me (I used to teach swimming lessons). It is decidedly NOT hilarious.

      • Starlinguk says:

        I know. Some parents are just cr*p and that’s all there is to it. A well-raised 5-year old just wouldn’t do such a thing.

    • slupine says:

      Agreed. If they’re old enough to talk, they’re old enough to understand “no” and their parents should have taught them better.

      • feistycat says:

        Agreed. Graph indicates parenting fail. The only thing on that list my 5-year old can “get away with” is crying in public. Which has only happened a couple times if he was really hurt.

    • Starlinguk says:

      Oh, do shut up, will ya? Get a life.

  15. Casey says:

    Wait, this graph doesn’t actually make sense. What do the values of the variables mean??

    • bah says:

      it means nothing. its just a joke. he just made random variables based on what he thought would look funny.

  16. Nrb299 says:

    I wish I was young or a midget imagine the boobs!!!

  17. Yobdlo says:

    A child of five should have a very good idea of what ‘private parts’ are and how it’s inappropriate to touch them (or have them touched by others).

    • Mintaka says:

      I dunno…when my brother was five he saw a picture of breasts in a doctor’s office somewhere and thought they were an extra pair of eyes.

  18. Bueller says:

    Does the author of the graph wish he could get away with wetting his pants, crying in public and coloring on the walls?

  19. anon says:

    I totally regret not groping hot babes when I was 5. Ahh, I had the chance, but did nothing ;(

    • smartz says:

      Me too…but back then I didn’t have the mentality of a teenager, so groping women wouldn’t make much sense…I wish I did though.

  20. EVo says:

    Ahahhaa….nice one!

  21. d3st1ny says:

    i can do the red one too. its great.


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