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THIRD
To get ready and go~go~go
sweeeeeet
I just opened my Dashboard and Expose window in System Preferences. I’m sorry, Macs have useful functions for, well, function keys.
Can you say OS wars are extremely 1990
Which was probably before your parents met
If they met
go DOS
I grew up on DOS. But UNIX is the workhorse. At almost 40 years old, it hasn’t been topped. By far the most stable O/S ever.
your mom is a stable O/S
your mom goes down more than Windows XP
Uhh… would i be fifth or sixth??? (someone commented on post number 4… haha)
That idiot goes by the name Me, Elvis, sopranomom, papajon, as well as others. As a result, you are actually second.
SCORE!
“Knipoonork” sounds like a band name
Hmmm. . .I think I shall take this!
does this count as LOLCut-lery?
I was thinking it sounded more like a skin disease: perhaps the name for an otherwise-unidentified abcess:
“I have a knipoonork on my back. The nurse is going to lance it for me.”
Yes, it does. Teh center name should be “Kspork”.
Who would use a Knork or Spife anyway? Wouldn’t that hurt?
Nah, it’s like how plastic knives are. They don’t really cut your mouth.
They actually exist, too.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/travel-outdoors/ac2b/
Spork: exists, I have 2 titanium ones from TG.
Spife: grapefruit spoon (a spoon with the little ridgies on the sides)
Knork: using the side of your fork as a knife
Knipoonork: that
And it all adds up to one seriously ticked-off spellcheck.
did you know Roald Dahl’s father only had one arm so he sharpened the side of a fork and used the knork to eat? He said the only thing he couldn’t do was cut the top off a boiled egg. True story. Thought you might like to know
….I’ll add a tally for the spellcheck joke.
so can you cut a steak with that?
Ever seen Clone High?
The older sister of the Knipoonork is the Swiss Army Knife.
She is also a slut.. I mean.. Look at all those enhancements. For shame, SAK, for shame.
Knipoonork would be something that restaurants should use. Imagine the savings in the cutlery department!
IMagine the losses due to low attendance.
I would go if they had knipoonorks. Plus, less waiting if no one else likes them!
Don’t forget to bring your own cutlery.
You make it sound as if silverware is actually a concern when people go out to eat.
I’m glad someone finally called out the degenerate attire and behavior of SAK.
For years I’ve found her far too complex to deal with. In all reality, I’d given up trying.
Give me a simple tool box any day. I know, they’re a bunch of over focused specialists. But they get the job done, and each one does their own task well and more so.
three syllables?? what’s wrong with sporf?
Smash a towel?
Flash your fowl?
“Burma Shave”
Hit an owl?
on the prowl
a fearsome growl?
FIRST REPLY!
FIRST SUBREPLY!!
there actually is a knipoonork on the market since the 40s.
it´s called a sporfe and is distributed by splayd (doesn´t sound much better than knipoonork though, does it?).
knork knorck
Bork Bork Bork?
Splyned. James Splyned.
who’s there?
whors therre?
Spife works but Knoon would work just as well. = )
You’d only use it at lunch, though.
Hilarious!
i call the spoon fork and knife a sporknuf i like sporknuf better than the one they put
Ya know, I think we’ve making history here.
Sporknuf was launched in, what, 1963?
Splade?
Stupid.
No U!
This made me chuckle.
Most of these are not even good for a smile.
A tip of my hat to he who made this.
Amusing.
This is very funny! Great names.
The million dollar invention, my friends. Cuts, sticks, and scoops. Imagine how many models you could make; ice cream knipoonorks, soup knipoonorks, potato chips in the shape of knipoonorks!
I smell an Anthony Sullivan ad in the making.
Anthony Sullivan is an amateur. Enlist Billy Ma… Oh wait.
Hey hey hey! How about biodegradeable knipoonorks? Made from starch? Oooowwh, I smell patent application!
Ah, biodegradeable! Genius!
I’m surprised I think of that, because I’m an epic-enviromentalist.
It’d get an easy patent!
Except, ANYTHING can get a patent. Ever heard of chicken eye-glasses and dimple drills?
Knork is slang for breast in Britain.
What isn’t?
todger
hm… granted.
I am loving the word knipoonork. Seriously, seriously loving it.
everyone knows that a knife spoon combo is a knifoon. not a spife
he’s right, you know.
Knifoon could also accurately describe the intersection of all three.
GAY
You mean GLAD to see you are part.
Fisters are gay……. of just like being stretched wayyyyyyy out.
How is that homosexual?
meh.
Trivia:
1. the fork was actually the last of the 3 main pieces of silverware to be developed, in the 1700s. Prior to then, people typically just stuck items with their knives, or used their hands.
2. The butter/table knife was invented in the mid-1600s by Cardinal Richeleu (or however you spell it – yes, the bad guy from the Three musketeers stories, who really existed and was a force in 17th century politics). It came about from a desire not to be assassinated during meals, so he had his servants make him knives for the table that had rounded ends, and a dull edge only suitable for cutting soft foods. This is PROBABLY what eventually led to the development of the Fork, as one could not stab ones food with such a knife. Later on, sailors even adopted a rounded end knife (but with a sharp blade) for safety reasons, probably after hearing of such dinner knives (Which were probably out of their social class).
You just made my day!
Please take your “facts” and go away. There is no room in this discussion for “facts”. You should be calling everyone a douche, telling what you did to their mothers, and calling them all wusses and telling women where to find a real man, like all the other idiots.
I shall call you Ho-joo
I heard that he ordered the knives rounded because he was tired of seeing diners pick their teeth with the point of the knife at the table.
This has already been made though. It’s a different design and the combination of all three is called a “Splayd”. (website has the picture)
Exactly!
Ive seen this before but with Splayd.
The middle should say something like “Millions of Dollars”
I think I had knork once… It was basically a fork, but one edge was slightly serated… not much point to it really.
It’S done already.
Hilarious! They need to sell it with health insurance, though. No, make that ‘Catastrophic Event’ insurance.
Missed out “Foon”
spork is cooler
Sport just rolls off the tongue, too.
Pity the Foon!
That ain’t no knork, that’s my ex!
That made me lol…
except…
I would have put Chopsticks in the middle part…
that’s silly.
everyone knows that spoon/knife is “noon” and that knife/fork are “fife”.
furthermore, knife/fork/spoon are “spike”.
didn’t you ever play “this is a fork”?
isn’t that kind of confusing seeing as they are all actual things anyway? or is that part of this mystery game you describe..?
lets throw a hammer into the mix!
Stop.
So nobody’s going to take the bait? Very well…
Hammertime!
wipe face with domestic fowls?
Bah. a spoon and a knife is a splade, not a spife
Dats dangorous (crap)
But but but… how can you cut your meat? Stab it with the fork and cut it with the knife…
so what do you do when you have a knipoonork?
You have to use two.
Thus negating the beauty of a singular all encompassing piece of cutlery.
*pouts*
what about a foon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i thought spife=grapefruit spoon
I want two of what you had when you thought up this fly graph…
http://goodtimescomics.com/comics/2008-12-05-Mutated-cutlery-will-destroy-us-all.jpg
bastard.
The middle 1 is a spladye google image deconstruction of the splade then see full size image of ven digram
=D
…
Created by IKEA, the KNIPOONORK takes about three months to assemble and will fall apart faster than you can say HJORDIS.
It should be Spork, Fife and Knoon, because this gives an equal share of first/second name combination. Just saying, things like that bug me lol;) Good one though!