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Scariness of Spiders vs. Their Position



song chart memes

Scariness of Spiders vs. Their Position

Graph by: robbitthehobbit via Graph Jam Builder

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» 96 TPS Reports

  1. Aegis Runestone says:

    I hate spiders… so much.

  2. NinjaDog251 says:

    they should all be equally scary

    • Jane St.Clair says:

      I agree, except for the “on you” part. That is always way more scary. All the other choices, while scary, still give you the potential to kill said spider before it gets to you.

  3. HellHathNoFury says:

    This is hilarious, mostly because my big buff Harley-riding co-worker walked into a wolf spider this morning and screeched and flailed and batted his hands until we almost cried from laughing. Then we realized it was still somewhere in the room. *feels bite* Hey guys, think I…..

  4. what says:

    I love spiders. Funny graph, though.

  5. HellHathNoFury says:

    *watches video*
    *borrows big ass shoe from Michael Jordan*

  6. Elfking says:

    Strangely enough, I would be perfectly fine with a huge spider crawling on my arm (unless it was unexpected), and I’m quite cautious of the smaller ones.
    I’m weird like that.

    • sevenmarie says:

      i am 100% terrified of spiders but i actually feel sort of the same way…i think its because you could FEEL a big spider on you but the little ones could sneek all around on you and you would NEVER KNOW!

    • person says:

      the realy big spiders like terantulas aren’t poisanas aren’t they

  7. cav says:

    THis is just obvious it isn’t even funny.
    Would be better if bars were included which said,
    “On Movies – WTF lame I could soo kill that !”
    “On you – OMG GET IT OFF GETITOFF GETITOFF”

  8. Andrea says:

    I hate all spiders with equal passion regardless of where they are located. Having been bitten by a brown recluse I think I’ve earned the right too. However, that doesn’t seem to stop my friends from laughing hysterically when I go into full panic mode over a daddy long legs.

  9. LeAnna says:

    I disagree with the first few. If I can see it on the wall, I’m not scared because I can kill it easily. If it’s on the bottom part of the wall or the floor, it’s harder to kill as it could go on the carpet or on something else.

    Last two bars are dead on!

  10. Amz says:

    *shudder* I couldn’t even watch the video… I feel like their is one on me!! Eww! Get it off! Get it off!! lol… Funny graph.. I think on the ceiling should have been “very scary” since it wasn’t even used.

  11. Clef says:

    Descending into your shower should be an option. I nearly broke my bottle of conditioner killing that thing.

  12. Todd says:

    Spiders don’t scare me. You’re all wusses.

    Any woman want a real man, look me up.

    • Wasp says:

      My kind of a man.

      I like spiders.
      I may attract them. Every place I’ve lived in for a long period of time ended up with lots of spiders.

      • duh says:

        It’s probably because you’re filthy. Spiders go to where the food source is, so if there are lots of spiders its because there are lots of flies and bugs to eat.

    • spyderhater says:

      dude, try a dating site and quit trying to ask (on the last several graphs) if anyone wants a ‘real man’ while calling all other people wusses….

    • ladykitteh says:

      Aaaaand, he’s back. Ladies of the world, unite in the search for that one real man, the guy from the internet called Todd.

      Seriously, you should get out of your mother’s basement some more.

    • papajon says:

      Maybe Todd = Spiderman. After all, I’ve never seen them both at the same time… hmmm…

    • what says:

      OK, hasn’t anyone considered that “Todd” is becoming a meme? There’s no avatar on graph jam comments, so it’s likely already more than one person posting. Hope I didn’t just ruin the joke, but the responses lead me to believe that not everyone has caught on yet.

      Any woman want a real man, look me up.

  13. Twabi2 says:

    One bar missing:
    anywhere (if you’re a man) – Couldn’t care less

    Don’t love ‘em, don’t hate ‘em, never even understood the whole fuss about it

    • ireentje says:

      I know plenty of men who scream louder than me when they see a spider, and I know plenty of women who don’t care about spiders ;)

  14. Roxanne says:

    “on the ceiling above your bed” – too scary to fit on that chart

    • ladykitteh says:

      My “tough and manly” boyfriend called me into the bedroom a few days ago to come and kill a tiny spider crawling right above him on the ceiling, because he was too terrified to move :P

      • jimbo says:

        Hey ladykitteh… it is appropriate that with a name like ladykitteh that you have a pussy for a boyfriend.

        Does he enjoy the color purple and walking in parades?

        • NoseMoking says:

          dude, srsly – insulting someone’s boyfriend does not make you more attractive to women. it only serves to show how immature and insecure you are.

          • jimbo says:

            Ok…
            #1. I’m really trying to come across as un-attractive to women. Every day it’s the same thing… get mobbed by a score or so of women, find a big stick, beat them off with it (they quite enjoy that) and then take my poor, over used, bruised and battered stick home in a sling.
            Besides, you know how many women can be scored on a completely anonymous TPS board! I have to protect against the further battering of my poor, oversized stick!

            #2. Yes I am both insecure and immature. Wouldn’t you feel scared and insecure knowing at any minute hormonally, lust crazy women were going to descend on you with total and complete abandon? I mean jeez man, all I want to do is drink a beer and watch cartoons!

        • ladykitteh says:

          Thank you, NoseMoking. I couldn’t agree more.

          Oh and jimbo, needless to say, “ladykitteh” is not my real name, so your “OH BURN!!1!” insult is pointless. Do you enjoy sticking your private parts into apple pies?

          • jimbo says:

            Nope,

            just tacos!!!

          • jimbo says:

            ps. Not your real name?!

            OMG!

            What is the world coming to when an honest, eager young man with stars in his eyes and unicorn dreams in his heart can no longer trust that the on screen names of a bulletin board are not the actual real names of the posters?

            Next you’re going to try to tell me that NoseMoking isn’t his real name either!

            Well if that’s true… don’t tell me! I can’t bear the thought of a world without NoseMoking and ladykitteh (or unicorns)!

    • emily says:

      or “descending in front of your face whilst you are driving a vehicle”

      abso-freaking-lutely terrifying with a chance of needing good insurance

      • HellHathNoFury says:

        BEST. INSURANCE CLAIM. EVAR!

      • Andrea (the original one) says:

        Or inside the sun visor thing! Hasn’t happened to me, but I’ve heard from a friend about the huntsman that dropped in her lap when she folded the visor down.

        ARGH

        • Naoyusimi says:

          What’s a “huntsman”?

          Wait, don’t tell me–!

          The visor-thing has happened to me . . . I seem to attract them. AND–I’m always the one to spot them, no matter the size of the room or what else is going on, I will see one. ::SHUDDERS::

          • Andrea (the original one) says:

            Hunstmans are a hairy brown kind of spider we get in Australia. They can get to be 10cm across and they have a gross, creepy habit of flattening out their legs to the sides.

            • Andrea (the original one) says:

              *huntsmans

              • Naoyusimi says:

                I. Told. You. Not. To. Tell. Me.

                But since you did, I must disagree with your assertion that this S—– has a “gross, creepy habit”: all habits of S—–’s are gross and creepy, as a matter of their existence.

                That is all.

  15. juney says:

    “on you” should be separated into 2 bars: the rightmost one for “on your face” and the next-to-last one for “on you anywhere other than your face”

  16. penguin_man says:

    Is it a bad thing when a spider starts making a web on your arm?

    • Andrea (the original one) says:

      I don’t suppose it’s bad in itself, but you should probably consider getting a bit more active.

  17. MK1K says:

    I heard you swallow three spiders a year because they crawl in your mouth because they like warm and wet places. Enjoy your sleep, guys.

  18. HistoryMaker says:

    Ok, seriously what’s the big deal about spiders?
    I get that the poisinos ones are dangerous.
    I just never got why anyone would be afraid of regular spiders.
    I don’t kill them.
    I usualy just let them be, or take them outside.
    Am i missing somthing?
    Why do people fear spiders?
    BTW I am a girl.

    • Amz says:

      maybe you should date Todd, you big tough girl you..

    • HellHathNoFury says:

      Um, I’m a ‘girl’ too. I’m not going to wet my pants when I see something with 8 legs, but it’s called ‘common sense’. I’m also not afraid of freight trains or drunken maniacs with axes, until they get too close.

      • HistoryMaker says:

        Common sence?

        Unless we’re talkin poisinious spiders why be scared at all?

        lol on the drunkin maniacs w/ axes

        • Andrea (the original one) says:

          Well I don’t know a non-poisonous spider from a poisonous one by looking at it, so I like to keep my distance from all arachnids. The only spiders I wouldn’t be scared about a bite from are daddy long legs’, which I’m kind of okay with, and huntsmans (huntsmen?) which I am definitely NOT okay with. They’re gross and bristly can run really fast for their size and they have eight eyes and big fangs.

          Yes, I am more prejudiced against things that look more different to me.

          Kittens are cute, lizards are interesting, spiders are gross.

        • HellHathNoFury says:

          Spiders are like mushrooms-you cant always tell by looking, but you’ll know if its poison after the first bite.

        • bionelly says:

          It’s an instinctive thing. There isn’t a particular disadvantage to being afraid of non-poisonous spiders, but there is a big disadvantage to not being afraid of poisonous ones, and since you don’t generally know when you first see a spider whether it’s poisonous or not, it makes sense for fear to be the default reaction.

          • ladykitteh says:

            True, but then most spiders are more afraid of you than you are of them, and I’ve heard that in general, even most poisonous spiders aren’t poisonous enough to do a lot of harm to a human, because we’re so much bigger than they are that their venom isn’t strong enough.

            Unless of course you’re in the jungle or something and encounter some scary-ass spiders there, you should be safe.

            • jimbo says:

              Actually, it’s been postulated by some fairly smart people in the know (yes, yes… not me) that spiders and indeed all insects are unlikely to feel emotions. That their responses are hard wired as a result of evolutionary pressure.

              I personally think that’s rubbish. Every time I look into the sweet thousand fold of eyes of spider, I know what he’s feeling… extreme penis envy. Why I’ve even been bitten by a wolf spider with a particularly small penis (his friends called him stubby). Yes… they’re all psychotic penis enviers.

              And they’re all so afraid of my “huge American penis” (except the John Holmes spider… nothing phases that mofo).

  19. NoseMoking says:

    you know what’s even worse than spiders (and I hate spiders O_o)?

    1) ticks: arachnid + parasite = GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

    2) house centipedes: creepy looking, FASTER than spiders, and they also bite!

    • HistoryMaker says:

      Also ticks carry some nasty diseases and are hard to remove.

      Ever try removing a tick from a freaked out 5 year old. That’s scary

      • Andrea (the original one) says:

        Argh yes a read an article about paralysis ticks URGH!

        Does anyone else find that millipedes are fine, but centipedes are not? I guess because they have larger, pointy-looking legs, antennae and mouth parts (and I’ve been scared of them ever since my dad told me that he was bitten between the toes by a centipede once. Now I have an irrational fear that all centipedes might have a fondness for biting humans between the toes).

        • what says:

          Millipedes are OK because they can’t bite and aren’t venomous. They do secrete some type of poison like cyanide or a week form of acid, depending on the species, so if you handle them you just have to wash your hands. Centipedes, on the other hand, DO bite and are venomous.

          • Andrea (the original one) says:

            Oh right. Maybe I read about that and forgot about it, but remained cool with millipedes without remembering why.

    • Skyfire says:

      Little spiders are cool, the big ones aren’t too bad, it’s those mid-range ones with the long stick legs that creep me out. But I’ve made my peace with them. They catch and eat mosquitos, so that’s cool.

      Hate house centipedes on the other hand. Especially when one goes skittering across the floor when I’m up late.

  20. T1G3R says:

    Centipedes are alright, just dont let them bite you. The big spiders like huntsmans are not a threat, its the little black spiders that YOU MUST KILL, or they will kill you. Its not that difficult. Big ass wolf n huntsmans just shoo them out the door n they’re fine, same with grass spiders.

  21. Lucy says:

    The death rate for any spider, even the Brazilian wandering spider, is less than 1% of bite victims. Unless you are immunodeficient in some way (very young, old, or ill), virtually no spider can kill you.

  22. Naoyusimi says:

    “. . . Unless you are immunodeficient in some way (very young, old, or ill), virtually no spider can kill you.”

    Who cares?

    “The death rate for any spider, even the Brazilian wandering spider, is . . . ”

    . . . less than 30 seconds once I’ve spotted it, unless I have to go get a ladder . . . :-D

  23. me says:

    Just need to add to the location of spider: “on my baby” and it’s off the chart.

  24. JCVdude says:

    That is the dude, the dude with that video of the spider on my hand. Spiders are cool. I don’t get why so many people are freaked by them.
    And dom’t kill them for just being…JCVdude@YouTube

  25. Fay says:

    I think spiders are cute… I always had to take them out of the room at college because everyone else was terrified…

  26. Jean Jeannie says:

    I used to really enjoy an occasional crab dinner in the summer until my daughter pointed out to me that it is like eating a giant spider. Kind of cousins I guess?? UGH. Also ditto on the centipede thing. Those are the WORST!!!

  27. k0ldburn says:

    I noticed a lack of an “on toilet seat” bar.

  28. Azkyroth says:

    Pansies…

  29. StrangerOnEarth says:

    Very true, for some reason I keep finding spiders in my bathroom every day. I think they are planning an attack, those bastards.

  30. skystrider says:

    I loved the graph but was a little dissappointed with the vidio. I was kinda hoping it would jump at the camera or bite someone or something. :)

    • JCVdude says:

      Hey, that’s my hand and I wouldn’t have found it amusing if the spider sunk his fangs in my hand. The vid is just fine with the spider showing it’s more gentle nature. Peace. jcv

  31. PS says:

    Pretty cool, though I miss the “unsuspectingly grab into a nest of them at 3 am” option:

    http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Its-the-Only-Way-to-be-Sure.aspx

  32. monnanon says:

    i go through stages with spiders. Sometimes they dont bother me other times i feel really panicky and need to get out the room. I can hold them and stuff except for tree spiders. they’re huge and dark and very very scary :S. normal house spiders are ok. Im so glad i live in the UK as i dont think i could deal with the spider species elsewhere lol.

    I remember once trying to rescue a tiny black spider from the bath (no bigger than a 5p) and i felt so sad because it ran off my hand in a panic and died :( . I try my best not to kill them but they still creep me out most of the time

  33. nerdia says:

    they forgot the scariest place they could be: hanging above your face in a small tent. either that or hanging in front of your face on the top bunk of a bunk bed.

  34. Jenny says:

    Did you know there’s an average of 5000 spiders in a house? Its just that most of them you cant see.

  35. Francesca says:

    We get ridiculously large huntsmans in my house, one which has shed it’s exoskeleton and has left it hanging above the stairs, but you dont have to worry untill you see a funnel web crawling up your arm.


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