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Men Who Stay Up All Night to Watch Girls While They Sleep



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Men Who Stay Up All Night to Watch Girls While They Sleep

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  1. Anon says:

    What about Steven Tyler?!

  2. Ali says:

    well said *Claps*

    • Someone who has a job says:

      Yeah, I like it. Let’s see how quickly Missez Mommy stays up with Barfing Brandon when she has to go to work the next day. Oh, I forget — she just calls in sick.

      • stripesorspots says:

        No. She sends him to school where he passes on his illness to everyone, including the teacher, and barfs in the classroom.

  3. emm says:

    Spike needs to be in the pink section, That Guy In The Van in the darker green, and Lestat in the golden section.

    • Jane St.Clair says:

      So you’re saying Spike is a vampire stalker and Lestat is a pedophile vampire?

      • Akkhima says:

        Are you implying Spike is not a vampire and a stalker?

        • Jane St.Clair says:

          I am implying nothing of the sort, merely trying to ascertain emm’s train of thought. I’m not sure I buy Lestat as a pedophile vampire, didn’t get that from any of the books, but to be fair I haven’t read them since I was in High School and I never did get around to Memnoch the Devil.

          • Samantha says:

            Lestat is very much a pedo-vamp. I read all of them, although I didn’t get around to Memnoch, either. Anyway, he’s pedo in Interview with the Vampire. Remember the part where Claudia brought him the boys laced with laudnum? He sexed them up. He also had a sort of love affair going on with his mother after her turned her into a vampire. It’s quite nasty, now that I think of it.

            • Jane St.Clair says:

              Ann Rice’s vampires can’t have sex. So no, he didn’t “sex them up”. Also, Interview with a Vampire is Louis’ version of events. Lestat claims in his own book that Louis got a lot of things wrong.

              • Jane St.Clair says:

                As far as his mother goes, again, no sex (they talk about this in Tale of the Body Thief) but even if there were it’d be incest not pedophilia.

              • Kimberly says:

                UMM beg to differ anne rices vamps can to have sex read pandora and vittro and armand

                • Lily says:

                  I think Pandora’s book established that vampires can have sex, but that it doesn’t do anything for them. Also, if we’re calling out pedophiles from the Vampire Chronicles then Marius has to be on the top of that list.

            • Alex says:

              Haha i lmao-ed at the “sexed them up” part. Lol, never heard anyone put it like that!

      • tyler says:

        Jane is implying that Jane uses Graphjam?

      • Casa says:

        Um… yah, Spike was a stalker, and Lestat was kinda creepy like that.

        • Allie says:

          Wasn’t it Brad Pitt’s vampire character from the movie the pedophile? I never read the books just so the movie, so I have no idea if the movie was close,

          • SKW says:

            I’ve seen the movie (haven’t read the books) and Claudia (the little girl) was more of a replacement daughter for Louis (Brad Pitt’s character) than a love interest. She was always supposed to be his daughter with Louis as the daddy and Lestat as the mommy.

            • Cassie B says:

              um…no. Louis and Claudia are (the equivalent of) lovers. Lestat originally used the ‘mommy-daddy’ roles to keep louis with him, but that didn’t work.

      • emm says:

        Yes, that’s generally how venn diagrams work. Labeled portions of overlap indicate that entities named in the label can be categorized in both areas simultaneously.

      • Mandy says:

        I think you’re getting confused. Lestat had no interest in little children. He made Claudia a vampire but he never viewed her as a sexual being, part of what upset her.

    • Cooliz says:

      Have you read Memnoch? Lestat is definitly more of a stalker than a pedo.

  4. Imperiss says:

    Oh very good sir. Well played.

  5. H. Hausen says:

    Yeah…except anyone who’s 16/17 is of no interest to a pedophile. Pre-pubescent children they are not.

    • Pedobear says:

      Flat chests only

    • Mkay says:

      It’s still pedophilia if they fall under the legal definition of ‘adult’.

      Hello, tits doesn’t mean maturity.

      • SAI says:

        Post-pubescent, pre-legal is ephebophilia, not pedophilia.

      • H. Hausen says:

        No it’s not. Anyway, 16/17 is legal in much of the US, with varying restrictions.

        And I love how you assume pedophilia only relates to girls.

      • Zoreta says:

        Technically, Bella was the pedo of that pair, because Eddy was ‘Forever 17,’ but she turned 18 before they did the bone-breaking deed.

        Of course, his birth certificate still says he’s 107, so who knows how it works.

        • bite this says:

          Honestly, The fact that you debate the subject of pedophilia in a book/movie as intellectually challenged as ‘Twilight’ astounds me. Any piece of media that makes the creatures I grew up fearing as monsters look like disgruntled Abercrombie & Fitch models should be collected as one mass and burned, with the ashes being buried and the ground thereof being salted. Furthermore, that ground should all be then dug up and cast into the darkest part of the sea. In case you haven’t noticed, I think Stephanie Myers is just another idiot author, capitalizing off of her idiotic idea of Vampire Soap Opera Literature.
          There you go, ‘Twilight’ fans.
          That’s my rant of the day.
          :-D
          oh, excuse me…
          :-[

        • Shelamer says:

          If you think about it, humans are kiddy vampires.
          Seeing as vampires live to be hundred of years old, from a human legal standpoint she should be legal, but by a vampire standpoint she’s a wittle baybe.
          Using that, it’s plausible that almost all vampires that become interested in humans are in fact, pedophiles. =D

      • Katie says:

        At her age, it would just have been statutory.
        except Meyers is a Mormon, so let’s all just pretend no one ever has sex before getting married.

        • Cassie B says:

          Poor Bram Stoker. He’s turning in his grave to see that all these years later, the story of Dracula has degenerated into something like Twilight.
          Keep our vampires dark and creepy. Please. And daywalkers need an excuse. Lestat (in Queen of the Damned) at least has an excuse. And he doesn’t #^$&@$#$ sparkle.

          • J says:

            Ah, I miss the days when the word ‘vampire’ brought up thoughts of horror movies and fangs, not sparkles….

  6. rach says:

    Stalker, maybe. But pedophile? Anyone who read at least the first book would see thats not true.

  7. A person says:

    The author explains that when a person becomes a vampire, their personality is stunted at that age. So Edward really is 17.

    • Anonymous says:

      Stop trying to be an internet white knight. Edward Cullen is a pedo and he’s a bad boyfriend who crosses all lines between being normal and being creepy.
      And the author is just an embarrassment to all literature. Everything she says is trash.

      • Jane St.Clair says:

        Dear Stephanie Meyer,

        Thank you for teaching teenage girls that they should yearn for a boyfriend that tells them he may kill them someday, watches them all the time even when they’re sleeping, and tells them they’d die without them. Who needs feminism when you can give them unrealistic and unhealthy relationships.

        Sincerely,
        Jane

        • Em says:

          *applauds*

        • tyler says:

          Jane, I love you for that. Stephanie Meyer ruined a well-followed, popular myth and the image of its authors that I once had a lot of respect for as literature….
          Then Twilight came out. I’ve read it.
          Disgusting trash, and I’m instantly sick of anyone who compares their significant other to the pedo. I mean really, he’s a poorly developed two dimensional character created by an author who clearly had NO respect for an entire sub-culture of the fantasy genre.

          • Anonymous says:

            Personally, I think the problem with Meyer is that she’s trying to appeal to a wide range of audiences. She wants to write a love story, and wants to write a fantasy… She should just make up her damned mind rather than whoring herself out for ratings.

            Quite frankly, no vampire lover would enjoy her writings as a vampire story. Would they enjoy the series as a love story? Possibly, if they’re into mainstream drama; As a vampire story? Absolutely not. Her books aren’t vampire books, they aren’t even fantasy. The entire series is just one glorified love story.

            Meyer does not even come close to ruining an entire tradition of vampire fantasy. Her following isn’t composed of fantasy lovers, it’s composed of romance lovers. That, in itself, is a completely different thing. If you were to get rid of all the drama in Twilight, it wouldn’t be much of a story… No, scratch that. It wouldn’t be a story.

            • rach says:

              I agree with you in some ways. I never liked vampire novels – I like romance, which means I like Twilight. Stephanie Meyer is not appealing to the old school, traditional vampire crowd, she’s appealing to those that enjoy a dramatic love story with a twist.

          • Edward says:

            I agree with virtually all criticism of the woman. I would point out, however, that Meyer is not the sole perpetrator, here. She was actually following at least a couple years of tradition of making vampires the paradoxically non-threatening objects of romance literature. For some reason, hers just managed to be successfully marketed more as a vampire novel than a harlequin romance.

          • ssddgr says:

            There is a third option there. Diss the mindless sheep that consider this piece of crap a Bible. Sadly, the numbers of said sheep increase daily, thus the negative effect Twilight has on vampire lore.

            When you have millions of *kids* who haven’t been taught that they should think for themselves treat SM like she can actually write, and her books as gospel, it’s the seer mass of followers that does the damage, not the quality of the book, the author or said followers.

            I pity the girls that look forward to an Edward and see nothing but loneliness in their future if they fail to find him and pain if they succeed.

          • tyler says:

            Jealous? That she can get rich off writing that idiotic, maybe. My problem is that she calls them vampires, and they’re NOT- They’re closer to the fantasy definition of elves. Oh, and the fact that it disregards about 40 years of feminism, Edward is emotionally abusive towards Bella, and that the main characters are almost entirely two-dimensional and absorbed completely by what is, literally, a BLOODLUST.

          • randomer mcrandom says:

            i dont think edward cullen even had two dimensions to his character.

        • Jocasta says:

          Every time I see your comments I admire you a little more.

          • tyler says:

            Janie is all over the place on LOLnews here. She and I are both more active over there, if you want more intelligent comments. And a few pun-runs.
            OKAY, a LOT of pun-runs, but they’re funny.

        • DaniFae says:

          *cheers* THANK YOU!

        • bendemolena says:

          You forgot that when he disables her car so he can further dictate who she’s allowed to see/be friends with, HE DOES IT BECAUSE HE ~LOVES HER~.

        • crystal says:

          But….. but…. they sparkle!!!!!

          Haha. Ew.

        • Jane St.Clair says:

          *blushes* Oh well… um… thank you everyone.

    • zzackcc says:

      and vampires exist

    • bendemolena says:

      OBVIOUSLY not true, since Edward doesn’t act like any seventeen-year-olds that I’ve ever known. He has 100+ years of life experience as a vampire tacked on to those seventeen years, or whatever.

  8. mrthefreak says:

    I hear the secrets that you keep, when you’re talking in your sleep.

  9. TDEN>Twilight says:

    Okay, I KNOW this is going to escalate into a “ZOMG TWILIGHT IS THE BEST BOOK EVAR!!!!” Argument, but let me say, indeed Edward is. Indeed. Twilight is a horrible book.

  10. Jane St.Clair says:

    There is a whole section of vampires that are neither stalkers nor pedophiles, why exactly are they watching girls sleep all night? Shouldn’t they just be drinking blood and getting on with it?

    • waffre says:

      This graph only includes people who watch girls sleep. Therefore, vampires who don’t watch girls sleep are not included.

      • Jane St.Clair says:

        I don’t deny that. I only wondered what’s the payoff for watching girls sleep when you are neither a stalker nor a pedophile, but merely a vampire.

        • ThePowerPanda says:

          Waiting for their chance to strike? Haven’t you ever admired your meal before you ate it?

          • fw says:

            Couldn’t you include Bram Stoker’s Dracula as a vampire who watched girls sleep? Or did he just lure them out of their rooms…?

          • Jane St.Clair says:

            No. And if you’re admiring before you strike wouldn’t that push you into the stalker vampire category?

            • tinuviel says:

              What about those vampires such as Dracula who return to the same victim night after night until she (in this case) is drained? Is that a stalking pattern, or more like finding a wonderful little restaurant that you just have to come back to, because their pasta is to DIE for?

          • Hannah says:

            You need to see a psychiatrist.

            • Edward Cullen says:

              and you need to see my trouser snake

              • Hannah says:

                That makes completely no sense. Plus I wasn’t even talking to you. I was talking to “ThePowerPanda”, whoever that is, because he/she was talking about admiring your meal before you ate it.

                • J says:

                  Hannah, the word admire means ‘to regard with wonder, pleasure, or approval.’ So, have you never looked at food you were about to eat and thought, “That looks good.” or maybe even, “That looks delicious.”? Because if you have, then you, too, have admired your food before you ate it. I suppose by your logic, we all need to see a psychiatrist.

                  • Hannah says:

                    No, I have never thought about my food before I ate it. I tell my parents that it smells good or looks good when they’re cooking, but that’s really a compliment to the chef.

                    • Lauren says:

                      So Edward telling Bella how pretty she is would be a compilment to Charlie? o_O

                      • Hannah says:

                        No, because Bella isn’t a meal.

                        • Lauren says:

                          Yes she is. He goes on and on all through the books about how much he wants to eat her, and how she should stay away becasue of that hunger.

                        • J says:

                          Bella is what Edward is supposed to eat. That’s his default diet. Therefore, she is a meal. That’s like saying that (Crap. I’m going to use a metaphor from the book, sorta…) Steak is not a meal, if you’re talking about a vegetarian. It is still a meal, they just haven’t eaten it in a while.

                        • J says:

                          Oh, also that is ‘admiring’ your meal. If you say it looks good, you are admiring it.

  11. Andromeda says:

    YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THISS!!!! Although it should just be Robert Patterson hes the pedophile/stalker/vampire…oh and creep

    • Stardrake says:

      No, no–Robert PATTINSON is a young human actor. He PLAYED a pedo/ephebophilic stalker “vampire” named Edward Cullen. Do NOT confuse the actor with the character!

      After all, he didn’t write the script…

      • Burnsauce_Johnson says:

        IRL, however ,he is the complete opposite of what his crazy teenage fans think he is in Twilight…

      • Jane St.Clair says:

        Someone has trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality. I fear for any celebrities Andromeda may come across.

        • Andromeda says:

          idc about celebirties they are just people, they arent different then anyone else and only a select few actually have talent but then again so do like a bagillion non celeberties and most of those non celebs. are soo much better than actual celeberties

  12. waffre says:

    Yeah, Twilight sucks, shut up about it already.

  13. Vickitty says:

    Wow, this is so true. And I concur: Twilight is a horrible book. It defies the law of literature. Why it had been published, I have no idea. Also, Edward Cullen in an abusive boyfriend: he stops Bella seeing her friends, practically imprisons her, verbally insults her, actively tries to scare her, stalks her, and even says he’d kill himself without her. Oh, and not to mention he did physically beat her in sex. But you know, as long as he’s a sparkling Adonis, All those bad points seem to melt away.

  14. memmeme says:

    who the hell is Edward Cullen?

  15. cj says:

    This just brings up all kinds of creepy!

  16. V says:

    The best part of this has to be the totally unrelated “Fathers of ill children”

    And yeah. Twilight was terrible, but strangely entertaining. Kind of warm and shiny. Like sticking your head in a microwave.

    Having been in a relationship that was abusive and escalating towards the physical, I will say….Edward reminded me of my boyfriend.

    Total, classic abuser. In fiction, that’s not a big deal….but not something we should want little girls reading. Twilight should come with a MASSIVE warning that parents are required to read to their children before beginning it.

    • questionablysane says:

      agreed. no kid should read the books or watch the movies… can you just imagine the bills from the shrink if your daughter never ends up with an abusive bloodsucking boyfriend? this book is a financial threat to parents!

    • fish eye no miko says:

      Agreed, V, the “father” thing made me giggle. Nicely played, DrRandomness!

      • Casa says:

        I thought it was sweet to put in the bit about dads staying up all night with a sick kid. ^^
        Could have fleshed out the other sections of the graph a bit more, but the nod to good dads is something you just don’t see every day.

    • Burnsauce_Johnson says:

      once the demon seed of edward cullen is spread within the sad, sad universe of twilight, we can include the “father” part…

      those poor kids…

    • ThePowerPanda says:

      I work at a book store and often have adult women come in and giggle about how much they loved the book themselves. A lot of women don’t seem to notice how abusive Edward is.

      And Jacob also. I’ve never had a relationship like Edward but I have a friend like Jacob. He makes you feel guilty for no liking him back and puts constant pressure on you and your friendship. I’m no longer friends with my Jacob.

      • St says:

        RE: the adult women.

        I (stupidly) let my mom read them to show her how horrible they were and even gave her a warning – “once you know, you can’t unknow”.

        And now it’s all she reads. I’ve told her about Bella’s weakness to stand up for herself and how creepy Edward is… but she just says “He just loves her!” It makes me feel awkward.

    • liloaktree says:

      Word.

  17. D says:

    In before “Edward is not a stalker/pedophile” arguments with passionate but stupid reasoning.

    Oh, wait… damn.

  18. questionablysane says:

    you forgot creepy. Vampires don’t sparkle…ever. Just read twilight. Creepy cold vampire boyfrieend sneaking into a girls room who is about 80years younger than him to watch her sleep is …..just so very wrong… he is definitely a pedo is some way or another

    • Kelly says:

      vampires don´t do anything since they aren´t real.

      and he´s 17, same age as her. and she wants him there, hence it isn´t creepy.

      • tinuviel says:

        She didn’t even know he was there for the first – what was it? A fortnight, or a month. He even came with an oil can so he could open her window without it squeaking.

  19. Roscoe says:

    Who is Edward Cullen?

  20. Ted says:

    The -one- defense I have for Twilight is this; at least it makes kids read a book. Yes, the story is dreadful, yes, the characters are either brainless and spineless or abusive stalkers, but at least people are actually reading something to “squeee” over. I have heard quite a few people who hated reading, picked up this series and then decided that reading wasn’t so bad afterall.

    What I am curious about is why there is always such a hype over one series at a time. This year it’s Twilight, a few years back Harry Potter, before that Artemis Fowl, and before that the Golden Compass (Dark Materials). It’s rather peculiar.

    • Jane St.Clair says:

      Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m not really for censorship. I was pretty much allowed free reign in my reading choices when I was growing up and I’m not advocating that teenage girls not be allowed to read Twilight. What I AM advocating is that parents better damn well know what they’re reading and be having series fiction vs. reality discussions with their kids. Especially since teenage girls in an effort to be liked/loved/fit in/whatever put up with a lot of abuse from guys because they think they’re “in love”.

      • Ted says:

        True enough. In fact, if I was one of those parents, I’d probably recommend a book like Elvenbane, Owl Sight, or Dealing with Dragons for something with a stronger female protagonist and more realistic character interactions (while still remaining in the young adult genre). But you are absolutely correct, parents really need to know what their kids are reading.

        • Luna says:

          “Owl Sight”, by Mercedes Lackey? Or are you thinking of a different book by that name? Regardless, Lackey’s books are certainly a good pick. “Dealing with Dragons”, and the other three in the series (by Patricia C. Wrede, I believe) were wonderful children/young teen books (I was under 10 the first time I read them).

          I’m afraid I haven’t read Elvenbane or the others in that series. I must look them up, although I seem to remember reading one of Norton’s books once and finding it rather dull, so I don’t know if I’d like it, even with Lackey’s contribution.

      • Michelle says:

        I’m a little disturbed that everyone here seems to think all teenage girls are complete idiots who automatically assume that because a character appears in a book that there are definitely people like him/her in real life. Most middle and high school-aged kids can distinguish fiction from reality.

        And I’m a little tired of all this “he’s so abusive” stuff. The Twilight Saga is indeed really poorly written, and the hype is over-the-top, but Edward and Bella do also provide some good examples of what to do in a relationship, as they tend to work through their problems instead of letting them build up. At first Edward is scarily overprotective of Bella and refuses to let her have a relationship with Jacob, but he learns his lesson and realizes that she can make her own decisions.

        And dear lord, he doesn’t beat her during sex. Just the act of having sex (which she demanded) with him gives her bruises. Sheesh.

        • Jane St.Clair says:

          Aside from the fact that I myself was a teenage girl not so long ago, I spent the last year teaching teenagers, in particular, teenage girls who were obsessed with Twilight. The overwhelming amount of girls in my class that thought they were going to move to Forks, Washington and meet the man of their dreams would no doubt surprise you. As for “working through their problems”? As recently as the last book Edward decides for Bella’s own good that she shouldn’t have their baby and she has to enlist Rosalie’s help to keep him and his doctor dad from forcing an abortion. Yeah. That’s a great ideal future boyfriend for teenage girls.

        • Edward says:

          Nobody’s assuming all teenage girls are idiots. Just the ones who would become obsessed with Twilight.

    • Lauren says:

      The reason everyone is up in arms over children watching too much television and not reading enough books is that television is mostly garbage. Just making a switch from WATCHING garbage to READING garbage isn’t doing kids any favors. Defending Twilight by saying “well at least kids are reading” isn’t a legitimate defense for the series, especially with all the other negatives.

      Now, everyone keeps talking about pedos. While I’m not saying Edward isn’t one, I can’t believe no one has brought up the imprinting thing yet. Jacob/Reneseme anyone?

      • Lauren says:

        Or Quilty/ Claire? Talk about missing the point SMeyer. (For those who don’t know, Quilty Claire was the name of the protaganist’s pedo rival in “Lolita.”)

        • j says:

          Actually, it was Clare Quilty. There’s no doubt in my mind that Meyer did that on purpose. Clare Quilty was also a pornographer and attempted to get Lolita to act in a porn film. When she refused, he left her.

          • Lauren says:

            Sorry. My bad on the misspelling. Still, if it was done on purpose (and I’ve no doubt it was) she utterly, utterly fails. Just NO.

            • J says:

              agreed. it’s incredibly creepy. and it makes me wonder if there’s anything else i’m missing like this.

      • Edward says:

        That is quite possibly the most important comment on this topic. It’s not enough to simply read words. There must be some consideration of the content and quality of the literature a person chooses to read, a writer chooses to write, and a publisher chooses to publish.

        • Lauren says:

          Thank you. Personally, I think Meyer does indeed have a Constitutional right to pen out whatever she wants, even if it is crap (going back to what one of the above comments said about censorship). But by that same token of logic, I have the same right to say whatever I want about it. Honestly, why did she ever think it was okay to romanticize child grooming? And what idiot in the publishing industry let it slide? *headdesk*headdesk*headdesk*
          Really, I can think of serveral tv shows worth watching. There are things like History channel and Discovery for example. Watching tv channels like that has actually helped me pass tests in school. What’s Twilight ever done for anyone except set false expectations?

    • Harry Potter. Now THOSE are good books.

      • Hannah says:

        People throwing up slugs is better than sparkly vampires? Did I miss something?

        • Lauren says:

          Vomiting a fountain of blood is less gross than throwing up slugs? Did I miss something?

          • J says:

            um, hANNAH, maybe you should not compare the grossest thing in Harry Potter to something a lot of girls just hitting puberty swoon over from Twilight. Not a very fair comparison, agreed?

          • Hannah says:

            No one vomits a fountain of blood in twilight. If you actually read the books, you would know that.

            • J says:

              I have, and I do know that. Re-read Breaking Dawn. I believe it’s the last sentence in the penultimate chapter in Jacob’s point of view. Correct me if I’m wrong, please.

              • Hannah says:

                I actually haven’t read Breaking Dawn yet. I was referring to the first book, Twilight. But I flipped through my copy of Breaking Dawn and found that you are right, she does vomit a fountain of blood. But it was because of the baby. I think we are both right in this instance.

                • Lauren says:

                  You mean you’ve been obsessing over this series without even actually having read it? So all your commentary thus far about how much you love Twilight is in fact based upon the realization that everyone else has read and loved it and you must too? I wonder how many Twitards really do love this series based on this newfound knowlegde.

                  • Hannah says:

                    I have read the series except for Breaking Dawn. I am in the middle of it and I hadn’t gotten to that part so I flipped ahead. And I have proof that I love Twilight. I own all the books, including the behind the scenes stuff and I own Twilight on DVD and I have the Twilight soundtrack and I have a bunch of other stuff.

                    • Lauren says:

                      Hey if you’re okay with wasting your money on sexist crap, fine. Yay Capitalism. But next time don’t accuse us of never having read the books when you’re mking your arguments because you can’t come up with a rebuttal.

                    • J says:

                      Um, Hannah. I own the books and special edition movie, as well. I own some Team Edward pins, and the soundtrack. (the last three things I mentioned were gifts, I assure you.) Does that mean that I, too, love Twilight? What a suprise!

                • J says:

                  Whether or not it was because of a baby, someone did vomit a fountain of blood. Also, you were obviously not just talking about Twilight (the book, not saga) as in an earlier comment (4 comments up from this one, i believe?) you said:

                  “No one vomits a fountain of blood in twilight. If you actually read the books, you would know that.”

                  Notice how you made the word ‘book’ plural. Therefore, you were talking about more than one book, and most people would logically assume that you meant the whole saga. So, why you would tell me I’m wrong without reading the last one, I fail to see the reason to. Can you give me a reasonable explanation?

            • Lauren says:

              Bella vomits a fountain of blood when giving birth, along with her baby completley breaking her body beyond repair, except vampire venom is full of *MAGICAL SPARLKES* or something so she lives anyway, to everyones immense chagrin.

              • Janie says:

                Sorry, to the above article, I meant to say every description of Edward. but if this comes in before the other one, since it’s awaiting moderation, than this is gonna look stupid.

                • Janie says:

                  Okay, ignore the above comment, and I’m going to re-type out the first comment that for some reason did not make it here:

                  Hannah, I find it very interesting that Lauren and I seem to know more about the books that you are defending whole-heartedly than you do. I’m going to take a guess and say that you could quote every description of Edward, or every kiss or fade-to-black ’sex scene’ between Edward and Bella, but don’t know much else about the series than that. True or False? Jacob is a werewolf.

                  • Hannah says:

                    Actually, I know almost everything about Twilight. Oh, and, False. Jacob is a shapeshifter, not a werewolf.

                    • Lauren says:

                      . . . except that Bella vomits a fountain of blood and that Midnight Sun is a prequel with passages from the first book practically copied and pasted into the chapters, I’m sure you do know everything about Twilight.

                      • J says:

                        Congratulations, Hannah. You know what creature a main character is. We all applaud you.
                        And, if you have read neither Breaking Dawn nor Midnight Sun, (or even what Midnight Sun is, for that matter) then I fail to see how you can claim that you know that much about Twilight.

  21. Uxbi says:

    So does that make every immortal character of literature that had a love interest with a mortal a Pedophile?

    Ed is not the first, nor will he ever be the last. Also I think the definition of pedophile should be fleshed out more.

    The term pedophilia (or paedophilia) has a range of definitions as found in psychology, law enforcement, and the vernacular. As a medical diagnosis, it is defined as a psychological disorder in which an adult experiences a sexual preference for prepubescent children.

    Keyword prepubescent.

    But while am I even typing this?

    ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH!

    • J says:

      No, I’m not sure it makes every immortal character of literature that had a love interest with a mortal a pedophile. I think if they’re 15 or less years apart, its not really pedophilia, as long as the youngest is at least Bella’s age (17.) All the rest, though, are considered pedophiles to me. Though, assuming Bella has gone through puberty, you are right, I suppose. Pedophile isn’t the right word, by dictionary-definition. By the definition of Pedophile that most people believe is the definition, it is the right word. So, what’s a word for a 100+ year old dating a 17 year old, other than pedophile?

  22. Dragon says:

    OMG! This is SERIOUS BUSINESS!

  23. Dana says:

    This graph is wonderful. I’ve never read or watched Twilight, and probably never will, but I’ve heard enough horror stories to get the joke.

  24. Lorelei says:

    Angelus also goes in the shiny center – anybody else remember him drawing Buffy while she slept?

  25. Jen says:

    um… what’s with the bubble outside the whole thing that says “fathers of ill children”? can someone explain what that means?

    • I can explain it.
      I included that because it came to mind that a father of a very ill girl in a hospital would willingly stay up all night to be sure she slept well.
      They don’t fit into the Vampire, Pedophile, or Stalker sections of the chart.
      It’s sort of a Far Side influence, I think, to kind of throw off the balance and add a more profoundness to the chart.

      Also, I’m amazed that I got this level of response from the chart.
      I’ll say chart one more time. Chart.

    • Ted says:

      The title of the chart is “Men Who Stay Up All Night to Watch Girls While They Sleep”. The chart is graphically representing that vampires, stalkers and pedophiles each will watch girls while they sleep, and are linked through the creepy nature of that watching. “Fathers of ill children” will also stay up all night to make sure that their kids are getting better and not worsening (especially if it is a fever), however it is out of love and not creepiness, and thus they are separated from the trifecta of creepitude.

    • Stardrake says:

      “Fathers of Ill Children” can stay up all night watching girls (and boys) while they sleep without being at all creepy. (In fact, it’s rather noble, or at the very least practical.)

      Hence, they have a circle, but it doesn’t interact with the creepy part of the Venn diagram….

  26. jenifer says:

    boooooooo!

  27. Alix says:

    Actually, has anyone noticed that we haven’t had a single person on here going ‘OMG SHATAP YOU’RE JUST JELUS COZ EDWARD IS MIIIIINNNEEEEE’?
    :D

  28. Roscoe says:

    Seriously who is he? That greasy glowing vampiredude from that teen series or movie or whatever??

  29. Ron says:

    Thank you for the dad circle.

  30. Kelly says:

    edward is not a pedophile nor a stalker. he is permantently 17 and bella WANTS HIM THERE. being a stalker implies that you are following someone and it isn´t wanted.

    it´s really sad to me that any guy acts a little bit attentive and suddenly he´s creepy. like women would rather have a guy not give a crap about them anymore.

    • ssddgr says:

      You make me sad by thinking he’s attentive. An attentive bf wants you to have a life outside him. An obsessive one doesn’t.

    • tyler says:

      Because if it turns out the guy is cute or you like him back, the stalking is justified. Of course.

    • Janie says:

      Wouldn’t you be creeped out if you found out a guy you just meant stood in your room and watched you sleep for the first month or so before you actually got to know each other?

      Oh, and for the first month Bella didn’t really have a choice whether she wanted him there or not. Granted, she probably would have, but he had no way of knowing that.

    • randomer mcrandom says:

      she didnt know he was in her room for like a month.
      he was sneaking into her room.
      thats not attentive.
      its stalking.

    • Kristy says:

      Ok, seriously – “attentive” is cooking dinner when you know I’m working late, or knowing what kind of book I’d like for my birthday. It’s picking up jasmine tea when I have a cold. Breaking into my room at night, uninvited, to watch me while I sleep is not attentive. It is stalking. And furthermore, it is CREEPY. Even if the guy is cute. Even if I would have otherwise liked him.

  31. xM. says:

    He’s still hawt =_+
    And not a pedophile.
    Vampire, yes (w00t)
    Stalker, mwah no not really =)
    He’s just looking out for his girl!

    Oh did I mention: it’s a movie!

    Still hawt!

  32. cheesebug says:

    ha its so funny how people start these long, meanngless convos over a picture

  33. Mira8 says:

    High five, awesome, love it.

  34. Deathbal101 says:

    iLol’d

  35. Asarin says:

    Edward: Bella, you hit your head. I think you’re confused.
    Bella: I know what I saw.
    Edward: And what exactly was that?
    Bella: You stopped the van. You pushed it away with your hand.
    Edward: Well, nobody’s going to believe you.

    Edward: I like watching you sleep. I find it fascinating

    Edward: I wanted to kill you at first. I’ve never wanted a human’s blood so much, before.

    Edward: I’m the world’s most dangerous predator. Everything about me invites you in. My voice, my face, even my smell. As if I would need any of that. As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off. I’m designed to kill.

    Bella: I can’t dance.
    Edward: Hmm…Well, I could always make you.
    Bella: I’m not scared of you.
    Edward: [laughs] Well you really shouldn’t have said that.

    …..WRONG.

  36. ingwall says:

    Both Angel and Spike should be in the magenta section.

  37. awie says:

    and Deadpool, but he might just go under “Stalker”.

  38. ahtr5e says:

    it would only be funny if you filled in the rest of the graph

    It’s not clever at all that you’ve identified 3 characteristics of Edward Cullen

  39. Pattie says:

    I find this hilarious, but inaccurate. Edward Cullen doesn’t stay up all night to watch her sleep, but he has nothing better to do because he doesnt sleep (since he is a vampire). So, he doesnt stay up, he watches her because there is nothing better to do. And he only did it for a month or so, then he just lays next to her and they talk mostly.

    • Janie says:

      Technically, we does stay up all night to watch her sleep. Granted, he can’t help it that he stays up all night, but that he does. It is his choice to watch her sleep, unbeknown to her. Perhaps, in his opinion, there is nothing better to do. But I’m sure there is SOMETHING else to do. If you found out that a guy (let’s make him an insomniac so that he has nothing better to do than watch you sleep.) you didn’t know very well except that occasionally you sat next to him in Biology (That is, on the days he is actually present) had been sneaking into your room (If you’ve read the available chapters of Midnight Sun, you would know that he actually uses an oil can the first time to get in, so that the window does not squeak, and she does not wake up.) for the past month or so, just to watch you sleep, whether he can sleep or not(In the case I just mentioned, he cannot.), wouldn’t he qualify as a stalker?

    • Luna says:

      He did stay up to watch her sleep. There are lots of better things to do (for instance, read a book–or, hell, even watch tv). Oh, well, if he only did it for a month that makes it all ok. NOT.

  40. Hannah says:

    whoever made this graph is an asshat. you have no right to be criticizing Twilight!

    • Person12133 says:

      Yeah, how dare he express his opinion! He has no right to speak for some reason!

    • ssddgr says:

      To think that everyone has a right to vote. *shakes head*

    • Janie says:

      I love Twilight with all my heart, and I found this hilarious.

    • JHarkness says:

      Leave twilight alone! Leave it alone! You bastards!

    • Lauren says:

      I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I had to be a published author to have an opinion of the books I read, or a well-known artist to know if I like a painting or not, or an Iron Chef to know when something tastes bad. Grow up.

    • j says:

      really, hannah. haven’t you ever criticized anything before?

      • Hannah says:

        No, I haven’t, thank you. And I would appreciate it if you would use proper grammar and capitalize the first letter of my name.
        P.S.: New moon is in theaters November 21st! :)

        • Lauren says:

          You’re lying. You’re criticizing us right now for not liking Twilight.

          • Hannah says:

            I was not criticizing you , I simply stated that whoever made this graph should not be criticizing twilight. And the only reason that I wrote that comment in the first place is to see what kinds of dumb ass responses I could get out of people.

            • Lauren says:

              If you like the books, then you’ve criticized them. Criticism doesn’t have to be negative. Dictionary.com writes; “Criticism – the act of passing judgment as to the merits of anything.” Either way, you’ve still lied, or you don’t understand what criticism is.

              In any case, I believe calling someone an “asshat” qualifies as criticizing them. And if the only reason you’re here is to provoke trouble, you’re the “asshat” here.

              • Hannah says:

                I am laughing at you so much right now.

                • dude says:

                  the word ur looking for ir “lol”. welcome to the internet.

                  • Hannah says:

                    I’ve been using the internet since I was three. And yes, I do know what “LOL” means, I just prefer to use proper grammar and not immature text lingo.

                    • Lauren says:

                      Perhaps you’d care to elaborate on what you find so funny? Or perhaps you couldn’t think of a decent response?

                      • Hannah says:

                        I find it funny how many people are typing idiotic responses to my comment. I laugh every time I check for new comments.

                        • Lauren says:

                          What’s idiotic about preciesly? The fact that you didn’t know what criticism was? You’re only laughing at yourself. And we’re laughing with you. Excuse me, I meant AT you.

                    • J says:

                      Again with the ages! I don’t see how the fact that you’ve been using the internet since you were three has anything to do with knowing what LOL means. I think all it shows is that you were most likely a lazy toddler. By the way, in the same comment that you wrote: I would appreciate it if you would use proper grammar and capitalize the first letter of my name.

                      You also wrote:
                      P.S.: New moon is in theaters November 21st!

                      If you’re really so worried about proper capitalization, you would have realized that the word ‘moon’ should be capitalized in ‘New Moon,’ since that is a proper name.

  41. Kristi says:

    Okay, seriously?

    Let me just say that I absolutely love Twilight, and I found this funny. All of you who are freaking out need to calm the **** down. It’s a book series for God’s sake.

    To me, the whole point of the Twilight saga is that they’re not like other vampires. It’s established within the first…oh, I don’t know…few hundred pages. I don’t know the number off the top of my head.

    While I read the books and loved them, and saw the movie and thought it was okay, I have no problem agreeing with the fact that it contributes absolutely nothing to the world of literature.

    But believe it or not, it IS possible to like Twilight and other books that are actually worth reading.

    It’s okay to like it, it’s okay not to like it. Everyone just needs to calm down.

    /rant

    • Incognito says:

      THANK YOU. While I enjoy the Twilight books, I also found myself laugh a bit at this chart.

      As for all the people ranting about what a piece of crap the books are, why bother? You aren’t changing anyone’s minds one way or another. So what. So what if millions of teenage girls liked the books. So what if it isn’t the most stimulating piece of literature that ever existed. Read something else for god’s sake.

      I’m so sick of all these pompous asses leaving comments on here as if they are the wittiest, most sensational thing since sliced bread. Get over yourselves. It’s only a chart.

      • Lauren says:

        I can only speak for me, but I take the books seriously because so many others do, in levels that just aren’t healthy. I hear stories pretty frequently of girls dumping perfectly good guys because they aren’t enough like Edward. It’s great to have standards, but holding your guy to perfection while you don’t do anything to change is hypocritical and setting yourself up for failure in the future. The messages in the book just aren’t good ones to set your life by, no matter how entertaining the book might be. And from the fans I’ve seen, I’m not entirely sure they can seperate themselves from the book to realize it is just fiction, not the Bible. There’s even a movement on the Internet called “Cullenism” that essentially makes Twilight a religion. While it may be all in good fun for some of the more intelligent fans, there are those taking it to cult – like status. If they can express their loving adoration for the series by making a freaking religion, then I think it’s okay for us to express our passsionate hatred by commenting on a chart.

      • Hannah says:

        The only thing I’m laughing at is your dumb ass responses. Retards.

        • Janie says:

          And I laugh at how you think swearing and calling someone with a perfectly logical response that you’re most likely not bright enough to understand helps to make your point.

          • Hannah says:

            That comment made completely no sense. Retype it so people can understand it.

            • Janie says:

              Translation for the Mentally Insecure: Janie thinks it is funny that Hannah swears and calling Lauren, who just wrote something incredibly* logical* as a reply to something stupid Hannah wrote, a retard to make Hannah’s point, because she is probably* not smart enough to understand* what Lauren meant.

              *-words may need to be looked up.

      • Hannah says:

        We “pompous asses” have as much of a right to comment as you do.

  42. lacapita says:

    ok! no more saying edward is a pedophile!!!!! crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love edward

    • Janie says:

      Sure, Edward’s great, but think about it. he has the appearance of a 17 year old, but really, he has the life lessons of a 100+ year old. so, really, if someone had plastic surgery, and looked ten years younger, they arent really ten years younger, right? theyre still just as old, they just look younger. correct?

  43. Robert the Bobbert says:

    haha. Another bashing for Twilight. How original and hilarious. Let’s keep making the same joke over and over, shall we?

  44. Mandy says:

    This is so true!

  45. teh_noob_pwner says:

    Ohh. . .

    This. . . this. . .

    This is awesome on so many levels!!!!!

    Boo Twilight!

  46. laurlie says:

    that is really funny and kinda sad but more funny. i am actually a twilight fan and i couldn’t agree more.
    absolutely hilarious! : )

  47. george says:

    what about Amy Winehouse?

  48. sarah says:

    i was sort of wondering where male ICU and emergency nurses fit into this diagram…

  49. hey ppl. im eleven, right? and im pretty mature t read the books. theyre awesome. and the books inspired me to be an author. ALL MY THNX TO STEPHENIE MEYER!!!! YYYYAAAYYY!!!

    (SENT FROM AUSTRALIA)

    • ssddgr says:

      If you were pretty mature, you’d probably be able to formulate full sentences. Just saying…

    • tyler says:

      If it’s because Stephanie Meyer lowered your expectations of author from “person who can write, develop a plotline and invent their own reality in a fantasy book without offending a huge sub-section of the fans because you deliberately tried to completely change a well-followed myth” to “idiotic, thought-lacking press whore who can’t formulate a coherent sentence” then yes, your post would make perfect sense.

    • Janie says:

      Hate to break it to you, but reading the books doesn’t make you mature.

  50. City says:

    There’s a problem….Edward Cullen is not a vampire.

  51. Double C says:

    LEAVE TWILIGHT ALONE!!!! WHAT DID IT EVER DO TO YOU!!! THEIR HAVING PROBLEMS AS IT IS!!! DO YOU THINK IT’S EASY TO PAY FOR CHILD CARE ON A HALF-VAMPIRE BABY?!?!? DO YOU THINK IT’S EASY TO LIVE ON ANIMAL BLOOD INSTEAD OF HUMAN BLOOD FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE? THE SERIES COULD INSTEAD BE ABOUT VAMPIRES KILLING PEOPLE AND SUCKING OUT THEIR BLOOD WHEN THEY’RE SLEEPING! MAYBE THE VAMPIRES WILL GO DO IT TO YOU!!! THEY’RE NOT HUMAN! AND ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS MAKE JOKES ABOUT HOW THEY SPARKLE! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF YOU SPARKLED? EVERYONE WOULD THINK YOU WERE A FREAK! YOU’D HAVE TO STAY OUT OF THE SUN OR ELSE EVERYONE WOULD THINK THAT YOU WERE GAY! AND IF YOU’RE A GIRL, THEY WOULD THINK THAT YOU WERE SOME FREAKING POPSTAR THAT HAS A TOTAL SELF-IMAGE PROBLEM. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE COMPARED TO BRITNEY SPEARS? I KNOW THEY’RE NOT HUMAN, SO YOU CAN’T REALLY RELATE TO THEM, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN WE SHOULDN’T CARE ABOUT THEM. MAYBE THEY’LL JUST CLIMB IN YOUR WINDOW ONE NIGHT AND SUCK ALL YOUR BLOOD OUT AND LEAVE YOU DEAD. DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT? LEAVE TWILIGHT ALONE!

    • Lauren says:

      I really hope you’re sarcastically making fun of other people who seriously talk like this about Twilight. Otherwise, you and the ones like you are a large part of the reason we make fun of this series. I do think it’s easy for them to pay for a half vampire baby. They don’t need child care because they’re effing millionaires. Daddy Dr. Cullen can do everything for them. I do think it’s easy for them to live on animal blood – there hasn’t been much of a problem so far. We all read how easily Bella got it under control. “They’re not human”? Try they’re not real. And for the record, people don’t sparkle. Were vampires real, they would not sparkle. We make fun of that fact because it’s that stupid and that ridiculous to write. And how does staying out of the sun make people think you are gay? Do gays burn easily? Or is your logic just retarded?

      “What did it ever do to you?” Well not to me personally, but try this link: http://twilightsucks.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=fangirls&action=display&thread=5175

      • dude says:

        funny link. but you are an idiot for not getting this.

        • LEP says:

          I said at the beginning, “I really hope you’re sarcastically making fun of other people who seriously talk like this about Twilight.” As in, I really hope this is a Chris Crocker reference. The rant was just in case it wasn’t, and you’re an idiot for not reading the entire post. Glad you liked the link though.

          • J says:

            hahaha, i loved the link. hillarious. i showed it to everyone.

            • Lauren says:

              Thanks. I’m not sure how many are true, but a lot of them a certainly plausible, and given the fangirls I’ve seen, I wouldn’t be surprised at how many DO turn out to be true.

          • Lauren says:

            Hey, why did my name change? O_O

            • J says:

              I bet most of them are true. Definitely would not be surprised.

              • Lauren says:

                There seems to be some issues with accepting the opinions of others and seperating reality from fantasy. We see in online pretty frequently. It’s not exactly a stretch of the imagination to see that behavior translate that from the Internet into real life. Sad, but there it is.

                • J says:

                  This does not have anything to do with Twilight, but with your statement, “There seems to be some issues… seperating reality from fantasy.”
                  The other day, my cousin actually tried to put a spell on me. A spell she learned from Harry Potter.
                  I don’t have anything against Harry Potter, but I may have some issues with the people who are so obsessed with it that they start thinking it’s real. That can’t be healthy.

                  • Lauren says:

                    Eh, at least HP fans weren’t RABID though. At least, not that I’ve heard of.

                  • Hannah says:

                    Ha Ha. Your cousin thinks she’s a witch. Maybe her brain is in her head upside down?

                    • Lauren says:

                      Ha Ha. you love the Twilight series. Maybe you don’t HAVE a brain?

                      • Hannah says:

                        If I didn’t have a brain it wouldn’t be possible for me to have a MRI, which I have had. Thank you.

                        • Lauren says:

                          Perhaps the MRI was to confirm that a brain was in fact present inside your skull? Or perhaps you need a lesson in sarcasm. Allow me;

                          Sarcasm – a verbal defense against stupidity.

                          Sarchasm – the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it .

                          (Source; urbandictionary)

                        • Hannah says:

                          I had an MRI because I have Pseudotumor Disorder and the doctors wanted to confirm their suspicions.

                        • J says:

                          MRI’s are not always for brains. Also, you can have an MRI even if your brain has been taken out. You just wouldn’t be alive.

                    • Janie says:

                      My cousin may think she’s a witch, but she’s eight. You think you’re going to marry a vampire and have little half-vampire half-humans babies and you’re… was it twelve? I think my cousin’s issue is more probable.

                      • Hannah says:

                        I know vampires aren’t real, but I’m still allowed to like the books. And if I didn’t have a brain I would be dead.

                        • J says:

                          When did I say you weren’t allowed to read the books? I think you’re allowed to read the books, just like I am allowed to state my opinion on them. When did I say you didn’t have a brain? Because I just re-read all the comments that I posted and I never said you did not have a brain. (Though, if you are going to say that, I will point out that if my cousin’s brain was in her head upside-down, she would be dead as well.) I will venture to say that, although you must have a brain, you are not taking advantage of having one that works properly.

          • dude says:

            the fact you needed to clarify pretty much proves my point doesnt it…
            and you dont need to rant for ages over every insignificant crap that crosses your mind. i come on here to troll, not to bore myself to sleep.

            • Lauren says:

              Then don’t read the comments if it bores you so much. The fact that I needed to clarify only proves that you’re too lazy to take the time to read and understand a post. I don’t NEED to rant over everything that comes to mind no, but that comment doesn’t carry much weight coming from an admitted troll.

    • ssddgr says:

      Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    • Kassie says:

      ”Doulbe C” you just need to not post everything in ALL CAPS just so you know it is considered screaming online and also very rude. your ranting and raving is making absolutely no sense!! 1) What does Britney Spears have to do with anything??? 2) ”Twilight” is fictional and i suggest that if you belive it isnt you should see a psychologist. 3) Seeing as it is fictional there would be no way that a ”vampire” could come into someones room at night and suck out their blood while they were sleeping! Now i am a huge fan of fantasy and i do enjoy reading the Twilight books i dont love the series but i dont hate it. some of my closest friends are die-hard Twilight fans and i respect that but some people online are just taking it way too seriously!! everyone just needs to calm down!

    • Janie says:

      I pray to God that you are kidding.

    • krissy87 says:

      Just in case you really believe what you wrote and weren’t just having a joke at the fangirls’ expenses…stfu…and…omg you really need some professional help, you know, sort out what’s real and what is make-believe…really badly written, make-believe.

    • Carlisle Wlodzigniew says:

      Turn off the capital letters, it makes it harder to read.

    • Hannah says:

      Finally someone who agrees with me.

  52. Will says:

    what about pedobear?

  53. kitty pugs and co. says:

    ur conversation is to freaking long just shut up and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

  54. Allibally says:

    hahahahahhaahahahahah roflol.

    but wait…JACOB was the pedophile not Edward. Bella’s eighteen, Renesmee’s an infant…haha.

    • Janie says:

      Right, but technically Edward is almost one hundred years old and by the end of the saga Bella is 18. So, I guess they both are? haha

    • Hannah says:

      But all Jacob does is imprint on her. He doesn’t have sex with her. The only thing imprinting does is make her fall in love with him when she grows up. And he doesn’t have sex with her. Although they might in Midnight Sun. Who knows?

      • Lauren says:

        Imprinting is by its very nature sexual. It’s means the werewolves have someone to reproduce with in the future, ensuring that the werewolf gene is passed on. By imprinting, an understood sexual future is immenient. It’s called child grooming – “The deliberate actions taken by an adult to form a trusting relationship with a child, with the intent of later having sexual contact” (source; Wikipedia). This is exactly what the werewolves are doing. Jacob and Quil will be a friend, father, or brother, whatever is needed until their mate is old enough to carry that aforementioned werewolf gene. Imprinting DOES NOT make the female in question fall in love with the imprinter. And if it did, it would make the process even more sexist and dehumanizing than it already is by not giving the female so much as a voice in the matter. Not that they have one as it is, but FORCING love would make it even worse. The power of the relationship is all in the males hands. Granted, the males don’t choose to imprint, but the point of imprinting is that when they do, it is unquestionably thier soulmate, no doubts, no regrets, no choice for anyone. The entire process is sick, degrading, and in this case, pedophillic.

      • Janie says:

        First of all, read what Lauren said, cause she’s right. Second, do you know what Midnight Sun is? Because if you did, I think you’d realize that your statement about them possibly having sex in Midnight Sun does not make sense, as at the time Midnight Sun takes place, Jacob is not a shape-shifter, therefore he cannot imprint (yet). Even if he could imprint, he wouldn’t have, as Renesme was not born yet, and that would ruin the whole plot of New Moon and Eclipse.

  55. yo says:

    You forgot Santa

  56. odd says:

    EPIC WIN

  57. LOVE TWILIGHT. LOVE THE BOOKS. HATE THE MOVIES CUZ THEY SUCK.

    (i think the actor of edward looks a bit scary AKA: UUUGGGLLLEE!!!)

  58. Hey ppl. my love goes to Lulu and ses eout there!

    AND ALL MAH FRIENDS AT LORETO COLLEGE MARRATVILLE!!!

    HEY GEORGIA! I MISS U SO MUCH!

  59. By the way, ppl that hate twilight. . . i have one thing to say t you. . .

    U SUCK!

    • Lauren says:

      So do vampires, ironically enough.

      And please, learn to spell. I don’t care if you are eleven; if you’re going to defend this series, at least make an intelligent effort. Quit resulting to name calling and fallacies to make your point.

      • IF U DONT STOP REPLYING TO MY COMMENTS I SWARE ILL GET SERIOSLY ANGRY!

        BY THE WAY, STOP BEING SUCH A BULLY! JUST BECAUSE YOURE EIGHTEEN AND IM ELEVEN DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN BE A SCHOOLYARD BULLY!

        • Lauren says:

          If you’re not mature enough to handle comments like these, nevermind the ones that actually *are* of a cruel nature, you don’t need to be on the Internet at all. If I were a bully, I’d be talking in ALL CAPS and calling your mother names with a PG-13 rating. You don’t offer anything to the discussion at hand, you can’t spell, and you’re generally just annoying. If you’d like to have an intelligent discourse on why you love Twilight, fine. But give a reason other than OMG THIS IZ THA BEST BOOK EVAR!!1!!1. You don’t gain any credibility among the non-fans by telling us we suck for not conforming to your opinion.

          • as i said. My oppinion. OH and by the way, i dont care of what u think about me. Cus ur just annoying. so u might as well go hide under a rock and rot.

            • j says:

              lauren’s annoying? she’s not the one talking in all caps, spelling everything wrong, and saying idiotic things. she’s the one stating the truth. i guess this means that the truth is too much for you to handle.

        • KrikaKrika says:

          Agreeing with Lauren Somewhat here – If you love this book so much, and cant even give a credible reason as to why, Why do you defend it so much?

  60. AAAAAWWWWLLL the fist letter sof mah friends namez:

    T
    C
    E
    M
    L
    S
    N
    B
    L
    G
    E
    “G”
    C
    G
    J
    M
    N

    and all the others in 6G.

  61. By the way, Tyler. seriosly, get lost, nobody wants to be near u when u r such a meanie.

    (id usually use harsher words, but since im eleven and im on the enternet, i wont)

  62. I think that it was kinda sWEETt to put in the phrase ” fathers of ill children” in there. that nice.

    SWINE FLU. . . IM SICK OF HEARING THOSE WORDS!

    • KrikaKrika says:

      What? Why? Because H1N1 Is a life-threatening disease if caught late in, and can be easily spread through the air? Or maybe its because H1N1
      Is becoming an extreme case in North and South America and people need to know the safety precautions otherwise they could catch this ailment? Those are just my guesses, feel free to tell me otherwise. Also, Twilight was NOT the best book ever written. There were many flaws to the book, such as – Sparkling Vampires – Impossibly conceived children – Pedo Vampires (Watches as she sleeps? And to make it worse, she wasn’t even her boyfriend of the time!) – Not a viable plot – And Finally, the 4 books could have easily been compressed into a 5 page picture book.

      • *sigh* why must ppl annoy eleven year olds over the enternet?!

        • also, not just because im ABSOLUTLEY over the darn swine flu thing, i also dont think that comment was ok. . . it was too random!!

          by the way. If corst twilight saga id just books, but theyre cool. PLUS, there will practicly be NOBODy u will find that will not know about it.

          • Janie says:

            I think we all just decided not to comment on this, too, but, Laly, I fail to see how KrikaKrika’s comment was random. Was it not you who brought up Swine Flu, while you had no reason to? And was KrikaKrika just responding to a comment you left?

        • ssddgr says:

          Why are eleven year olds allowed unsupervised use of the internet?

        • Lauren says:

          *sigh* Why must eleven-year-olds be allowed to annoy people over the Internet?

          • cougartrax says:

            To be fair, they’re not the only annoying people on the internet. However, I agree wholeheartedly that all nuisances (i.e. all trolls) should be banned. Laly, that includes you.

    • SmileyPredator says:

      Thank you Laly, for giving me something to laugh at before bed. Thanks for being a troll, you’ve done your part, now leave.

  63. SmileyPredator says:

    On a note that isn’t related to the troll… Great graph, the good dads thing is sort of like the Butters of the graph, he’s there in the corner, adding some slight humor to the complete picture.

    • Y’know Smiley predator, Your nice. LAUREN UP THERE! why are u such an idiot? u r bullying an eleven-year old over the enternet you see????

      • Lauren says:

        As I believe I wrote before: “If you’re not mature enough to handle comments like these, nevermind the ones that actually *are* of a cruel nature, you don’t need to be on the Internet at all. If I were a bully, I’d be talking in ALL CAPS and calling your mother names with a PG-13 rating.”

        I have not bullied you, I’ve offered for discussion what I believe to be valid points of interest in your posts. I have not called you names, or told you where to stick it. YOU on the other hand, have told me to rot under a rock, called me “MEAN, CRUEL, ASTONISHINGLY ANNOYING” and insinuated I suck for not agreeing with your opinion. “My opinion” is a valid defense for you to use when talking about your love for the series, but not one for me to use when talking about my hate of it?

        Furthermore, quit using your age to justify your lack of intelligent posting. I know when I was eleven, I could at least spell and punctuate things properly, even if the actual content left something to be desired. Quit whining and grow up or take some English courses.

      • j says:

        PLEASE LALY! over all these posts ive read of yours (there’s far too many) you keep repeatedly saying something about the “enternet.” if you MUST say it so many times, at least spell it right. I-N-T-E-R-N-E-T. and i believe smileypredator was not being ‘nice.’ (by the way, correct grammar would have been “you’re nice,” not, “Your nice.”) smileypredator called you a troll.

  64. Hey ppl of the world. IM totally over tyhe fact of swine flu. Its getting quite annoying to hrar that most days on the radio.

    P.s: SENT FROM AUSTRALIA!!! (yay)

    • j says:

      translation of your comment:

      Hey, people of the world! I’m totally over swine flu. It’s getting quite annoying to hear about it so many often on the radio.
      P.S. Sent from Australia! (Yay!)

      Really, Laly. Learn grammar. And how to make complete sentences. You’re totally over the “fact of swine flu?” Wow. What fact is this? Also, what on earth does swine flu have to do with this?

      • Lauren says:

        Thanks for the translation. I did’t bother replying to that comment, as I had no idea what exactly was being said.

      • well. . fact 1, imexactley ten years younger than the age of 21.

        Fact 2, i dont know what swine flu has to do with this. Besides, im allowed to mention swine flu. (if i feel like it)

        • J says:

          Fact one: WOW. you can sort of do math. I don’t find it relevant how much younger than 21 you are, but since we’re sharing… I’m almost 7 years younger than 21. And I doubt you’re exactly 10 years younger than 21, since I don’t believe you were born exactly 11 years ago from this very second.
          Fact two: You can’t spell for the life of you, yet you claim to be smart. at least use a dictionary if you want to make it look like you’re smart. you can even use online ones. I’m sick of translating your comments in my head.

      • Hannah says:

        I don’t think its grammatically correct to say “so many often”. I think “most days” makes more sense.

  65. KrikaKrika says:

    Er… Off topic here, But may I start Rick-Rolling people?

  66. You know, all i wanted to do was say a simple comment on this graph, and what happens? Yeah. Im ashamed.

    P.s: I dont care what vocabulary im using!

    P.S.S: I LOVE TWILIGHT!

    P.s.S.s: Please leave me aone. It would be much appreciated.

    • Lauren says:

      No, you wanted to be annoying by shouting off to your friends and talking about things that have nothing to do with the graph, and you wanted to get something started, as evidenced by this post;

      “By the way, Tyler. seriosly, get lost, nobody wants to be near u when u r such a meanie.

      (id usually use harsher words, but since im eleven and im on the enternet, i wont)”

      Furthermore, you claim to be intelligent (“I was kidding. Im WAY smarter than that.”) but don’t offer any evidence of it. So either you really are what your posts make you out to be, or you’re lying. Granted, you can lie if you want to, because I know you’re going to use that defense, but that still doesn’t make it right and backs up my previous claim that you only came here to stir up trouble.

      • dude says:

        shut up, man, this little twit is not worth the time/effort ur wasting here. plus ur being equally as annoying when u lead her on…

        • Lauren says:

          I’m not a man as you should be able to tell from my name.

          And I could say you’re being annoying as well for abuse of the English language at the very least. If I have that much time to waste (and I do), it’s my business.

    • luvs to troll says:

      Hannah
      August 2, 2009 at 6:26 am
      I’ve been using the internet since I was three. And yes, I do know what “LOL” means, I just prefer to use proper grammar and not immature text lingo.

  67. Now as i was saying from when i first found this graph. . .

    “I like this graph! I also love the twilight saga! yyaaaayyy. Seny from australia”

    NOW?! was that so bad?! Thats all i needed to do. Now go away.
    Hopefully this will be my last comment.

    • J says:

      Again, you spelled things wrong. and we already know that you are from Australia, you’ve said it enough.
      thank god it’s your last comment. i think i speak for most everyone when i say that we all pray that’s really true.

  68. well. No thats not true. :roll:

  69. :P says:

    YES!!!!!! DEATH TO THE CREEPY STALKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  70. Which i find quite funny because shes quite smart, and its unexpected that shed say that.

    • J says:

      What happened to last post, Laly? I though we were through with having to deal with your idiotic nonsense? saaaaad):

  71. OMG 2 ppl im mah school have swime floo!!!! OMg OMg OMG

  72. Krika Krika says:

    Keepin this thread alive – Keepin this thread alive!

    ITS OVER 9000!
    I LIKE TEH MUDKIPZ
    RICK ROLLED
    THE CAKE IS A LIE

  73. Iwish says:

    Edward can stalk and watch me sleep anytime he wants. I don’t care if he’s not real or if he’s married. Bella can go jump in the lake :]>

    • Krika Krika says:

      I have no words to express how much I loathe you.

    • cougartrax says:

      you are going to fail miserably in your relationships, and in the rest of your life as well. I personally agree that bella can go drown, but so should every shallow, desperate doormat. That includes you, in case you didn’t get that. Twilight is probably the worst book ever written, because it encourages girl children like you to be silly, giddy, and weak.

  74. Hannah says:

    Lots of randomness. P.S. I’m 12. More randomness. I can be random if I want to. Bye.

    • Lauren says:

      As I said in another post, quit using age to justify idiotic rambling. Age is not an indicator of intelligence or maturity, things which you lack, as evidenced by your other posts here. You can be random if you want to, but we can call you out on it if we want to by the exact same stroke of logic.

      • dfogvnh says:

        wow, censorship much?

        • Lauren says:

          What does censorship have to do with anything?

        • Wikipedia says:

          Censorship is the suppression of speech or deletion of communicative material which may be considered objectionable, harmful, sensitive, or inconvenient to the government or media organizations as determined by a censor.
          The rationale for censorship is different for various types of information censored:
          Moral censorship is the removal of materials that are obscene or otherwise morally questionable. Pornography, for example, is often censored under this rationale, especially child pornography, which is censored in most jurisdictions in the world.
          Military censorship is the process of keeping military intelligence and tactics confidential and away from the enemy. This is used to counter espionage, which is the process of gleaning military information. Very often, militaries will also attempt to suppress politically inconvenient information even if that information has no actual intelligence value.
          Political censorship occurs when governments hold back information from their citizens. The logic is to exert control over the populace and prevent free expression that might foment rebellion.
          Religious censorship is the means by which any material objectionable to a certain faith is removed. This often involves a dominant religion forcing limitations on less prevalent ones. Alternatively, one religion may shun the works of another when they believe the content is not appropriate for their faith.
          Corporate censorship is the process by which editors in corporate media outlets intervene to halt the publishing of information that portrays their business or business partners in a negative light.

          cen⋅sor⋅ship  [sen-ser-ship] Show IPA
          –noun
          1. the act or practice of censoring.
          2. the office or power of a censor.
          3. the time during which a censor holds office.
          4. the inhibiting and distorting activity of the Freudian censor

    • Kat says:

      I’ve noticed that everyone who says how old they are generally seem to be the most immature.

    • im eleven. im on ur side.

      Lauren: “huh?”
      hannah/laly: im the smart one

      • Kat says:

        I’m… confused. That comment made no sense.
        Who cares how old you are and why would that mean you’re on my side?

        • Lauren says:

          She was responding to Hannah (who I’m beginning to believe more and more IS laly) and claiming she’s one her side and is the smart one. She proves to us how smart she is by totally ignoring the rules of grammar and making inane comments.

          • Hannah says:

            Me and Laly are two different people, and I’m pretty sure we’ve never even met in real life, so there. I’m sick of your comments, Lauren, and I’m pretty sure you’re not the Lauren that I know, because you’re acting like you hate Twilight, and the Lauren that I know is my best friend and she loves twilight, just like I do. Arkansas rules and me, Lauren, and Katie (best-friendship triangle) are starting 6th grade. Goodbye elememtary school, hello middle school. That is all, thank you.

            • Lauren says:

              You’re right, I’m not the Lauren you know in real life. It’s highly unlikely, as the name Lauren is one of the most popular names of the 1990’s/2000’s. I will however mention the highly ironic fact that I too, am from Arkansas. And that is probably the only thing we will ever agree on; Arkansas rules. You wouldn’t happen to be entering Fuller Middle School would you?

              • Hannah says:

                No, I’m not. I live in Little Rock, Arkansas. I’m not sure if you live there or in another city.

                • Lauren says:

                  That’s where Fuller is. And yes, I do live there. Well, technically I live in Benton now, but only for the next few days until college starts again.

                  • Hannah says:

                    Do you have a little brother or sister that’s going there? If not, I fail to see why you wanted to know if I was going there. You can’t possibly be going there because you said “until college starts.”

                    • Lauren says:

                      My brother and I both went there. I just wanted to know what general area you were in. I didn’t expect you to tell me the actual city. Internet safety and all.

            • J says:

              Hannah, why on earth would you have assumed that she was the Lauren you knew/ And, although I don’t live in Arkansas, I have a cousin and aunt who do and I visit once a year, in West Memphis.

            • OMG!!! IM IN GRADE 6!!!

              but im eleven and not 12. . .

              • J says:

                Go away, Laly. No one wants to hear your nonsense.

                • i have things to say:

                  J: whatever. . .
                  everybody else: AWESOME

                  and. . .

                  i dont care what u say, cuz i dont NEED to go away, but, i want u to just shaddup for once. (and everything will be fine)

                  • J says:

                    I absolutely love your comebacks. “Whatever.” Such a classic! But I never said you needed to go away, I simply told you to go away. And I don’t see why I should ’shaddup’ if you don’t need to. Please explain.

    • Lauren says:

      Entertaining as that was, next time just post the link for something so long – you don’t have to c&p the whole thing.

      • Kat (the other one) says:

        Actually the list consists of fragments of many other lists, so there is no link. I might add it to my site though!

  75. Janie says:

    According to Meyer, that IS a vampire! Isn’t this exciting?!

  76. ONE thing im curious about. . . .

    wy cant we all just say nice things to eachother for once?

    Seriously. that includes you J and lauren.

    • J says:

      One thing I’m curious about…
      Why don’t people get that if they want everyone to say nice things to each other, they also has to say nice things?
      Seriously. That includes you, Laly and Hannah.

    • Lauren says:

      I believe you initated the less than nice posts by telling the non fans where to get off for not liking Twilight. If we answer in kind, you have no buisness telling us to play nice.

  77. Bob says:

    Who is J and Lauren?

    But, I kind of agree with that even though I have nothing to do with this.

    • J says:

      I am J, and Lauren is someone else here on the board. But, although I understand what Laly is saying, I would like to add that because you have probably not read all of her posts, you wouldn’t realize what a hypocrite Laly is by saying that.

  78. Bob says:

    I was not supporing anyone. I’m just saying that J should not call you a hypocrite.

    • Janie says:

      Explain to me why I shouldn’t call her a hypocrite. Really, tell me, because I don’t see why not.

      • Bob says:

        BECAUSE it is really noy nice and you should know that. I am thirty five and i have no iedea what you are, i know that you can be very hurtful to a young person. You should know that J at the age of 14, and you Lauren. ESPECIALLY at the age of eighteen.

        • Lauren says:

          So being called such names at 14 or 18 or ANY age isn’t hurtful? I was called a “bully”, “MEAN CRUEL ASTONISHINGLY ANNOYING”, ect. If she can’t handle mean things being said to her, she shouldn’t start saying mean things in the first place. We were willing to play nice, but she wanted to play hardball and now she has to deal with those consequences or cry for an adult to come help her. You’re not doing her any favors by stepping in on a situation that would make any normal person shrug it off and move on with thier lives. If she can’t handle being on the Internet all by herself, she probably shoudn’t be using it in the first place. We aren’t the ones who need to grow up here.

        • Janie says:

          So, I’m just supposed to take everyone’s crap because I’m more mature than them? No, thank you. And, regardless, she is still a hypocrite.

        • Harleigh says:

          See, Bob, the funny thing about the internet is that its not much different from reality. If you’re going to act like a disrespectful brat such as Laly has, people are going to be hard pressed to act civilly.

          And age is no excuse for such behaviour. My nine year-old cousin behaves better than Laly does and he suffers from Asperger’s!

  79. Literally, thanx bob for whatever youve done, but anyway, bob, when is it im visiting you in sydney?

  80. Bob says:

    In October. Remember?

  81. oh thats right. in sydney im visiting u then. October. . .

  82. sfsf says:

    sfasfasd

    • that was a rally dumb responce. u retardicle.

      • Janie says:

        Did you really just call someone dumb, and in the same comment spelled really and response wrong? And used the word retardicle?

      • Ceiling Cat says:

        Hannah, my cup of pity overrunneth on you, and your parents. Read every book in a series before you dispute events which have taken place in a fictional story, or thou shalt look like a giant dumb ass.

        Laly, use not your age as an excuse in a battle of wits. An acceptable excuse would be your inferior intelligence, or your lack of necessary butt kickery. Learn from this and go forth in your completion of a B.A. in English, in exactly 10 years.
        So I have written, so shall it be.

        Retardicle? Really? I twitch my whiskers in disappointment and relegate you to the minions of Basement Cat.

  83. unk says:

    cool story everyone… one day i shall photoshop edward burning with the sunlight

  84. Potato in Flight says:

    Now that I have thought about it for a while, I think that Edward Cullen is a sex offender. Ninety-something-year-old sparkly vampires who are attracted to people based on their smell shouldn’t be in high school.

  85. Curious says:

    I was just wondering how do vampires actually have sex without any blood flowing in their bodies?

  86. Murf says:

    *wipes away tear* I have never laughed so hard at a thread in my life. Thanks.

  87. elel says:

    my boyfriend does all the time

  88. Milf. Wait, milf? Horrible. ;| says:

    Fathers of i’ll children killed it..


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