Men Who Stay Up All Night to Watch Girls While They Sleep
Men Who Stay Up All Night to Watch Girls While They Sleep
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What about Steven Tyler?!
SECOND!
3rth!
Epic fail, vortico
Total epic fail
and the graph: ROFLOLMAO
epic fail to you, too, kingisnitro
rolling on the floor laughing out loud my a** off? really?
Rolling on the floor lots of laughing my ass of XD
I am rolling on the floor and laughing my ass of e.g. 3 times XD
REAL SECOND!
OR MAYBE NOT!
Why was I wirting in Caps?
Why were you wirting at all?
Wirt’s leg… There is a cow level.
LOL epic win
that didn’t mean to come out like ’shut up’, i was talking about the ‘wirting’ part.
Wirting!
Personally I thought I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing was about a father and child. It chokes me up when I think of it that way.
Anon, that was an epic win.
Fathers of ill children killed it.
no way.
father’s of ill children made it.
i concur! it was the icing on the cake.
well said *Claps*
Yeah, I like it. Let’s see how quickly Missez Mommy stays up with Barfing Brandon when she has to go to work the next day. Oh, I forget — she just calls in sick.
No. She sends him to school where he passes on his illness to everyone, including the teacher, and barfs in the classroom.
Spike needs to be in the pink section, That Guy In The Van in the darker green, and Lestat in the golden section.
So you’re saying Spike is a vampire stalker and Lestat is a pedophile vampire?
Are you implying Spike is not a vampire and a stalker?
I am implying nothing of the sort, merely trying to ascertain emm’s train of thought. I’m not sure I buy Lestat as a pedophile vampire, didn’t get that from any of the books, but to be fair I haven’t read them since I was in High School and I never did get around to Memnoch the Devil.
Lestat is very much a pedo-vamp. I read all of them, although I didn’t get around to Memnoch, either. Anyway, he’s pedo in Interview with the Vampire. Remember the part where Claudia brought him the boys laced with laudnum? He sexed them up. He also had a sort of love affair going on with his mother after her turned her into a vampire. It’s quite nasty, now that I think of it.
Ann Rice’s vampires can’t have sex. So no, he didn’t “sex them up”. Also, Interview with a Vampire is Louis’ version of events. Lestat claims in his own book that Louis got a lot of things wrong.
As far as his mother goes, again, no sex (they talk about this in Tale of the Body Thief) but even if there were it’d be incest not pedophilia.
UMM beg to differ anne rices vamps can to have sex read pandora and vittro and armand
I think Pandora’s book established that vampires can have sex, but that it doesn’t do anything for them. Also, if we’re calling out pedophiles from the Vampire Chronicles then Marius has to be on the top of that list.
Haha i lmao-ed at the “sexed them up” part. Lol, never heard anyone put it like that!
Jane is implying that Jane uses Graphjam?
Rarely but yeah, sometimes I check in.
Jane is the evil Volturi girl in New Moon.
And YOU are a dumb little shit if you have to bring that up on an Anti-Twilight graph, seriously, WHO remembers every character from the frikkin’ books?
I do.
Stupid people do. I guess you ARE a stupid person. I can only remember Casius’s name. I don’t like the books. Or you, for that matter.
Its spelled Caius.
GOTCHA!
Um… yah, Spike was a stalker, and Lestat was kinda creepy like that.
Wasn’t it Brad Pitt’s vampire character from the movie the pedophile? I never read the books just so the movie, so I have no idea if the movie was close,
I’ve seen the movie (haven’t read the books) and Claudia (the little girl) was more of a replacement daughter for Louis (Brad Pitt’s character) than a love interest. She was always supposed to be his daughter with Louis as the daddy and Lestat as the mommy.
um…no. Louis and Claudia are (the equivalent of) lovers. Lestat originally used the ‘mommy-daddy’ roles to keep louis with him, but that didn’t work.
Yes, that’s generally how venn diagrams work. Labeled portions of overlap indicate that entities named in the label can be categorized in both areas simultaneously.
I think you’re getting confused. Lestat had no interest in little children. He made Claudia a vampire but he never viewed her as a sexual being, part of what upset her.
Oh very good sir. Well played.
Yeah…except anyone who’s 16/17 is of no interest to a pedophile. Pre-pubescent children they are not.
Flat chests only
uh oh…i better go add more tissue to the push up…
It’s still pedophilia if they fall under the legal definition of ‘adult’.
Hello, tits doesn’t mean maturity.
Post-pubescent, pre-legal is ephebophilia, not pedophilia.
Technically, sure. But go have sex with a 16-year-old (when you’re, say, in your 30’s) and see how society labels you. [Note: I am NOT ACTUALLY SUGGESTING THAT YOU SHOULD DO THIS.]
No it’s not. Anyway, 16/17 is legal in much of the US, with varying restrictions.
And I love how you assume pedophilia only relates to girls.
Technically, Bella was the pedo of that pair, because Eddy was ‘Forever 17,’ but she turned 18 before they did the bone-breaking deed.
Of course, his birth certificate still says he’s 107, so who knows how it works.
Honestly, The fact that you debate the subject of pedophilia in a book/movie as intellectually challenged as ‘Twilight’ astounds me. Any piece of media that makes the creatures I grew up fearing as monsters look like disgruntled Abercrombie & Fitch models should be collected as one mass and burned, with the ashes being buried and the ground thereof being salted. Furthermore, that ground should all be then dug up and cast into the darkest part of the sea. In case you haven’t noticed, I think Stephanie Myers is just another idiot author, capitalizing off of her idiotic idea of Vampire Soap Opera Literature.
There you go, ‘Twilight’ fans.
That’s my rant of the day.
oh, excuse me…
:-[
Seconded. But with maybe scattering the ashes directly into water, as was done to vampires. As a final stab of irony.
Amen, and bravo! Considering how wildly popular those freaking books remain, I really cling to rants like that as evidence that there is some small segment of the population that still has not willfully flushed their brains down the toilet.
Edward. . . hhhmmmm. . .
Edward *is* a name, and just because said awful book had a “dreamy” (barf) character with the same name, doesn’t mean that he can’t have the same name.
Just sayin
I actually rather like the books. Am I the only female who thinks Bella is hot?
Besides the books are rather like cotton candy — pure fluff, no substance, but you like it against your will.
I bow to you and am not above kissing your feet!
hahahah. thank you for that.
quite the amusing comment.
Dude….
THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU RULE!!!
If you think about it, humans are kiddy vampires.
Seeing as vampires live to be hundred of years old, from a human legal standpoint she should be legal, but by a vampire standpoint she’s a wittle baybe.
Using that, it’s plausible that almost all vampires that become interested in humans are in fact, pedophiles. =D
At her age, it would just have been statutory.
except Meyers is a Mormon, so let’s all just pretend no one ever has sex before getting married.
Fail. They don’t have sex until they are married. and then they have a fucking vampire-human baby which almost kills her so Edward turns her into a vampire after she gives birth. And besides True Blood is a much better vampire TV show because it retains more things that were originally associated with vampires, such as not being able to go out during the daylight.
Poor Bram Stoker. He’s turning in his grave to see that all these years later, the story of Dracula has degenerated into something like Twilight.
Keep our vampires dark and creepy. Please. And daywalkers need an excuse. Lestat (in Queen of the Damned) at least has an excuse. And he doesn’t #^$&@$#$ sparkle.
Ah, I miss the days when the word ‘vampire’ brought up thoughts of horror movies and fangs, not sparkles….
Stalker, maybe. But pedophile? Anyone who read at least the first book would see thats not true.
He’s 100 years old. She’s 17.
Pedophile.
But, being physically 17, it would be impossible for him to be with anyone his “own age” without THEM being labeled a pedophile, don’t you think.
No, physically, he’s 100 years old. He only LOOKS 17.
And yes, he could be with someone his own age. Like his “sister” who he refused to hook up with because he prefers dinner instead.
I don’t really want to get too involved here, but he’s still about fifteen years older than his sister as well. I don’t know what your lines for pedophilia are, but it’s still significantly older. I’m guessing he has a pretty limited supply of women his own age.
Well, that depends on your point of view. Vampires (according to Stephanie Meyer anyway) are unchanging once they’ve undergone the vampire metamorphosis if you will, so you could easily argue that he is physically 17.
As are vampires in true blood, in the sense of not changing once they are turned.
He has two sisters and they both have mates. Alice and Jasper and Rosalie and Emmett. And technically Bella isn’t dinner because they don’t eat humans.
But they are SUPPOSED to eat humans. That’s kind of a major point in vampire mythos.
Also, physically, he’s a corpse.
Ew.
So then it would be ‘necrophilia’. Just saying!
if someone looked 17 but was actually 30 would that make them a pedophile?
yes it would
The question becomes if a person has physically AND mentally stopped progressing past 17, is it pedophilia? I honestly don’t care enough about Twilight to have a say, but if you stopped maturing after age 17 it would be stranger if you liked women who are the same distance from birth as you rather than around your physical and mental state.
only a pedophile would argue with that logic
Only an troll would come to that conclusion.
What about people like Stephanie Myers, who only mentally have failed to progress past 17?
Meyer, rather. Sorry, my brain must have jumped to Halloween, or something. It’s a better place to be, though.
Halloween is next week.
Touche! Though I’d almost say that’s giving her too much credit. At 17, most of my friends and I had better writing skills, both technical, stylistic, and creative.
Maybe 12?
rofl.
Especially since he’s WAY more mentally mature than she is, having 100 extra years of life experiences. Or.. you know, not. *snerk*
Yeah, especially since he’s A CHARACTER IN A BOOK…
And a pedo…LOL
Hahah, yes, he’s a total pedo. Get over it.
Bella’s a necrophiliac.
tool
The author explains that when a person becomes a vampire, their personality is stunted at that age. So Edward really is 17.
Stop trying to be an internet white knight. Edward Cullen is a pedo and he’s a bad boyfriend who crosses all lines between being normal and being creepy.
And the author is just an embarrassment to all literature. Everything she says is trash.
Dear Stephanie Meyer,
Thank you for teaching teenage girls that they should yearn for a boyfriend that tells them he may kill them someday, watches them all the time even when they’re sleeping, and tells them they’d die without them. Who needs feminism when you can give them unrealistic and unhealthy relationships.
Sincerely,
Jane
*applauds*
Jane, I love you for that. Stephanie Meyer ruined a well-followed, popular myth and the image of its authors that I once had a lot of respect for as literature….
Then Twilight came out. I’ve read it.
Disgusting trash, and I’m instantly sick of anyone who compares their significant other to the pedo. I mean really, he’s a poorly developed two dimensional character created by an author who clearly had NO respect for an entire sub-culture of the fantasy genre.
Jealous much? So you’re saying that Stephanie Meyer has so much influence on the reader population that with ONE book series, she can undo what literally centuries of other vampire books/paraphernalia have accomplished? I guess I can’t speak for the entire Twilight fan population, but personally I don’t even see the Cullens/Hales in the same light as other vampires such as Bram Stoker’s Dracula or Blade’s vampires. You don’t even think of them as vampires after the first 50 pages of the first book.
So, I guess the question is: diss her writing skills but not the story or admit that a shitty author has the ability to completely trash all fear of any vampire book/movie ever made. It’s your call.
Personally, I think the problem with Meyer is that she’s trying to appeal to a wide range of audiences. She wants to write a love story, and wants to write a fantasy… She should just make up her damned mind rather than whoring herself out for ratings.
Quite frankly, no vampire lover would enjoy her writings as a vampire story. Would they enjoy the series as a love story? Possibly, if they’re into mainstream drama; As a vampire story? Absolutely not. Her books aren’t vampire books, they aren’t even fantasy. The entire series is just one glorified love story.
Meyer does not even come close to ruining an entire tradition of vampire fantasy. Her following isn’t composed of fantasy lovers, it’s composed of romance lovers. That, in itself, is a completely different thing. If you were to get rid of all the drama in Twilight, it wouldn’t be much of a story… No, scratch that. It wouldn’t be a story.
I agree with you in some ways. I never liked vampire novels – I like romance, which means I like Twilight. Stephanie Meyer is not appealing to the old school, traditional vampire crowd, she’s appealing to those that enjoy a dramatic love story with a twist.
There is a third option there. Diss the mindless sheep that consider this piece of crap a Bible. Sadly, the numbers of said sheep increase daily, thus the negative effect Twilight has on vampire lore.
When you have millions of *kids* who haven’t been taught that they should think for themselves treat SM like she can actually write, and her books as gospel, it’s the seer mass of followers that does the damage, not the quality of the book, the author or said followers.
I pity the girls that look forward to an Edward and see nothing but loneliness in their future if they fail to find him and pain if they succeed.
Jealous? That she can get rich off writing that idiotic, maybe. My problem is that she calls them vampires, and they’re NOT- They’re closer to the fantasy definition of elves. Oh, and the fact that it disregards about 40 years of feminism, Edward is emotionally abusive towards Bella, and that the main characters are almost entirely two-dimensional and absorbed completely by what is, literally, a BLOODLUST.
I agree with virtually all criticism of the woman. I would point out, however, that Meyer is not the sole perpetrator, here. She was actually following at least a couple years of tradition of making vampires the paradoxically non-threatening objects of romance literature. For some reason, hers just managed to be successfully marketed more as a vampire novel than a harlequin romance.
i dont think edward cullen even had two dimensions to his character.
Every time I see your comments I admire you a little more.
Janie is all over the place on LOLnews here. She and I are both more active over there, if you want more intelligent comments. And a few pun-runs.
OKAY, a LOT of pun-runs, but they’re funny.
*cheers* THANK YOU!
You forgot that when he disables her car so he can further dictate who she’s allowed to see/be friends with, HE DOES IT BECAUSE HE ~LOVES HER~.
no…he did it because he’s a stalker
But….. but…. they sparkle!!!!!
Haha. Ew.
The sparkles is their skin almost igniting.
*blushes* Oh well… um… thank you everyone.
and vampires exist
OBVIOUSLY not true, since Edward doesn’t act like any seventeen-year-olds that I’ve ever known. He has 100+ years of life experience as a vampire tacked on to those seventeen years, or whatever.
I hear the secrets that you keep, when you’re talking in your sleep.
LMFAO
Okay, I KNOW this is going to escalate into a “ZOMG TWILIGHT IS THE BEST BOOK EVAR!!!!” Argument, but let me say, indeed Edward is. Indeed. Twilight is a horrible book.
Hear ye, hear ye, forsooth and verily.
seconded, chap
As a die hard Twilight fan, I am not going to shout out in all caps like a crazed 14 yr old. Gosh, those girls annoy me. I wish more Twilight fans could be more mature and realize that its ok that not everyone likes the novels.
Thank you.
ugh, agreed.
respect other people’s opinions, right?
There is a whole section of vampires that are neither stalkers nor pedophiles, why exactly are they watching girls sleep all night? Shouldn’t they just be drinking blood and getting on with it?
This graph only includes people who watch girls sleep. Therefore, vampires who don’t watch girls sleep are not included.
I don’t deny that. I only wondered what’s the payoff for watching girls sleep when you are neither a stalker nor a pedophile, but merely a vampire.
Waiting for their chance to strike? Haven’t you ever admired your meal before you ate it?
Couldn’t you include Bram Stoker’s Dracula as a vampire who watched girls sleep? Or did he just lure them out of their rooms…?
No. And if you’re admiring before you strike wouldn’t that push you into the stalker vampire category?
What about those vampires such as Dracula who return to the same victim night after night until she (in this case) is drained? Is that a stalking pattern, or more like finding a wonderful little restaurant that you just have to come back to, because their pasta is to DIE for?
You need to see a psychiatrist.
and you need to see my trouser snake
That makes completely no sense. Plus I wasn’t even talking to you. I was talking to “ThePowerPanda”, whoever that is, because he/she was talking about admiring your meal before you ate it.
Hannah, the word admire means ‘to regard with wonder, pleasure, or approval.’ So, have you never looked at food you were about to eat and thought, “That looks good.” or maybe even, “That looks delicious.”? Because if you have, then you, too, have admired your food before you ate it. I suppose by your logic, we all need to see a psychiatrist.
No, I have never thought about my food before I ate it. I tell my parents that it smells good or looks good when they’re cooking, but that’s really a compliment to the chef.
So Edward telling Bella how pretty she is would be a compilment to Charlie? o_O
No, because Bella isn’t a meal.
Yes she is. He goes on and on all through the books about how much he wants to eat her, and how she should stay away becasue of that hunger.
Bella is what Edward is supposed to eat. That’s his default diet. Therefore, she is a meal. That’s like saying that (Crap. I’m going to use a metaphor from the book, sorta…) Steak is not a meal, if you’re talking about a vegetarian. It is still a meal, they just haven’t eaten it in a while.
Oh, also that is ‘admiring’ your meal. If you say it looks good, you are admiring it.
YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THISS!!!! Although it should just be Robert Patterson hes the pedophile/stalker/vampire…oh and creep
No, no–Robert PATTINSON is a young human actor. He PLAYED a pedo/ephebophilic stalker “vampire” named Edward Cullen. Do NOT confuse the actor with the character!
After all, he didn’t write the script…
IRL, however ,he is the complete opposite of what his crazy teenage fans think he is in Twilight…
I know. In reality, I like him. Seems pretty cool.
Someone has trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality. I fear for any celebrities Andromeda may come across.
idc about celebirties they are just people, they arent different then anyone else and only a select few actually have talent but then again so do like a bagillion non celeberties and most of those non celebs. are soo much better than actual celeberties
Yeah, Twilight sucks, shut up about it already.
Wow, this is so true. And I concur: Twilight is a horrible book. It defies the law of literature. Why it had been published, I have no idea. Also, Edward Cullen in an abusive boyfriend: he stops Bella seeing her friends, practically imprisons her, verbally insults her, actively tries to scare her, stalks her, and even says he’d kill himself without her. Oh, and not to mention he did physically beat her in sex. But you know, as long as he’s a sparkling Adonis, All those bad points seem to melt away.
there is a law of literature?
Now there is.
Dontcha know?!?
I get most of it… but verbal insults? Most of the time it’s just (slightly nauseating) sweet nothings…
Yeah I don’t remember the insults either, unless they’re counting the time he up and left her in the freaking woods. I never read Eclipse, though, so I don’t know.
Actually, no, he insults her intelligence all the time, at least in the first book. Mostly it’s in the context of telling her how stupid she is for being near him when she’s his own personal brand of heroin.
But….is he wrong?
who the hell is Edward Cullen?
I wish I could say the same…
Yep, s/he’s better off not knowing eh?! (Best fangirl immitation): “OMG!!!!!1!1!ONE!!!1! EDWARD IS LIKE SOOOO HOT! I WANT A GUY WHAT LUVS ME SO MUCH HE DISABLES MY CAR SO I CAN’T VISIT A FRIEND IN NEED!! HOW ROMANTIC”…./rant over….
Wow, what rock have you been living under?
…can I join you?
….. Please?
Me too?
If you take me as well….I’ll bring tacos.
I’ll bring whatever the hell you want
I just want in!
I have pizza! *crawls under rock*
I can remember those happy days when I didn’t know who eddie Cullen was too. *sigh* happy days, happy days XD
This just brings up all kinds of creepy!
The best part of this has to be the totally unrelated “Fathers of ill children”
And yeah. Twilight was terrible, but strangely entertaining. Kind of warm and shiny. Like sticking your head in a microwave.
Having been in a relationship that was abusive and escalating towards the physical, I will say….Edward reminded me of my boyfriend.
Total, classic abuser. In fiction, that’s not a big deal….but not something we should want little girls reading. Twilight should come with a MASSIVE warning that parents are required to read to their children before beginning it.
agreed. no kid should read the books or watch the movies… can you just imagine the bills from the shrink if your daughter never ends up with an abusive bloodsucking boyfriend? this book is a financial threat to parents!
Agreed, V, the “father” thing made me giggle. Nicely played, DrRandomness!
I thought it was sweet to put in the bit about dads staying up all night with a sick kid. ^^
Could have fleshed out the other sections of the graph a bit more, but the nod to good dads is something you just don’t see every day.
once the demon seed of edward cullen is spread within the sad, sad universe of twilight, we can include the “father” part…
those poor kids…
I work at a book store and often have adult women come in and giggle about how much they loved the book themselves. A lot of women don’t seem to notice how abusive Edward is.
And Jacob also. I’ve never had a relationship like Edward but I have a friend like Jacob. He makes you feel guilty for no liking him back and puts constant pressure on you and your friendship. I’m no longer friends with my Jacob.
RE: the adult women.
I (stupidly) let my mom read them to show her how horrible they were and even gave her a warning – “once you know, you can’t unknow”.
And now it’s all she reads. I’ve told her about Bella’s weakness to stand up for herself and how creepy Edward is… but she just says “He just loves her!” It makes me feel awkward.
wow, you turned your mom into a twitard. nice going.
Word.
In before “Edward is not a stalker/pedophile” arguments with passionate but stupid reasoning.
Oh, wait… damn.
you forgot creepy. Vampires don’t sparkle…ever. Just read twilight. Creepy cold vampire boyfrieend sneaking into a girls room who is about 80years younger than him to watch her sleep is …..just so very wrong… he is definitely a pedo is some way or another
vampires don´t do anything since they aren´t real.
and he´s 17, same age as her. and she wants him there, hence it isn´t creepy.
She didn’t even know he was there for the first – what was it? A fortnight, or a month. He even came with an oil can so he could open her window without it squeaking.
*midnightsunspoilers!*
yeahh, that was weird. I was reading that and I was like, “Whaaaat?!?!”
Who is Edward Cullen?
*crawls under rock with Roscoe*
Trust me, you’re better off not knowing… =)
The -one- defense I have for Twilight is this; at least it makes kids read a book. Yes, the story is dreadful, yes, the characters are either brainless and spineless or abusive stalkers, but at least people are actually reading something to “squeee” over. I have heard quite a few people who hated reading, picked up this series and then decided that reading wasn’t so bad afterall.
What I am curious about is why there is always such a hype over one series at a time. This year it’s Twilight, a few years back Harry Potter, before that Artemis Fowl, and before that the Golden Compass (Dark Materials). It’s rather peculiar.
Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m not really for censorship. I was pretty much allowed free reign in my reading choices when I was growing up and I’m not advocating that teenage girls not be allowed to read Twilight. What I AM advocating is that parents better damn well know what they’re reading and be having series fiction vs. reality discussions with their kids. Especially since teenage girls in an effort to be liked/loved/fit in/whatever put up with a lot of abuse from guys because they think they’re “in love”.
True enough. In fact, if I was one of those parents, I’d probably recommend a book like Elvenbane, Owl Sight, or Dealing with Dragons for something with a stronger female protagonist and more realistic character interactions (while still remaining in the young adult genre). But you are absolutely correct, parents really need to know what their kids are reading.
“Owl Sight”, by Mercedes Lackey? Or are you thinking of a different book by that name? Regardless, Lackey’s books are certainly a good pick. “Dealing with Dragons”, and the other three in the series (by Patricia C. Wrede, I believe) were wonderful children/young teen books (I was under 10 the first time I read them).
I’m afraid I haven’t read Elvenbane or the others in that series. I must look them up, although I seem to remember reading one of Norton’s books once and finding it rather dull, so I don’t know if I’d like it, even with Lackey’s contribution.
I’m a little disturbed that everyone here seems to think all teenage girls are complete idiots who automatically assume that because a character appears in a book that there are definitely people like him/her in real life. Most middle and high school-aged kids can distinguish fiction from reality.
And I’m a little tired of all this “he’s so abusive” stuff. The Twilight Saga is indeed really poorly written, and the hype is over-the-top, but Edward and Bella do also provide some good examples of what to do in a relationship, as they tend to work through their problems instead of letting them build up. At first Edward is scarily overprotective of Bella and refuses to let her have a relationship with Jacob, but he learns his lesson and realizes that she can make her own decisions.
And dear lord, he doesn’t beat her during sex. Just the act of having sex (which she demanded) with him gives her bruises. Sheesh.
Aside from the fact that I myself was a teenage girl not so long ago, I spent the last year teaching teenagers, in particular, teenage girls who were obsessed with Twilight. The overwhelming amount of girls in my class that thought they were going to move to Forks, Washington and meet the man of their dreams would no doubt surprise you. As for “working through their problems”? As recently as the last book Edward decides for Bella’s own good that she shouldn’t have their baby and she has to enlist Rosalie’s help to keep him and his doctor dad from forcing an abortion. Yeah. That’s a great ideal future boyfriend for teenage girls.
Nobody’s assuming all teenage girls are idiots. Just the ones who would become obsessed with Twilight.
The reason everyone is up in arms over children watching too much television and not reading enough books is that television is mostly garbage. Just making a switch from WATCHING garbage to READING garbage isn’t doing kids any favors. Defending Twilight by saying “well at least kids are reading” isn’t a legitimate defense for the series, especially with all the other negatives.
Now, everyone keeps talking about pedos. While I’m not saying Edward isn’t one, I can’t believe no one has brought up the imprinting thing yet. Jacob/Reneseme anyone?
Or Quilty/ Claire? Talk about missing the point SMeyer. (For those who don’t know, Quilty Claire was the name of the protaganist’s pedo rival in “Lolita.”)
Actually, it was Clare Quilty. There’s no doubt in my mind that Meyer did that on purpose. Clare Quilty was also a pornographer and attempted to get Lolita to act in a porn film. When she refused, he left her.
Sorry. My bad on the misspelling. Still, if it was done on purpose (and I’ve no doubt it was) she utterly, utterly fails. Just NO.
agreed. it’s incredibly creepy. and it makes me wonder if there’s anything else i’m missing like this.
That is quite possibly the most important comment on this topic. It’s not enough to simply read words. There must be some consideration of the content and quality of the literature a person chooses to read, a writer chooses to write, and a publisher chooses to publish.
Thank you. Personally, I think Meyer does indeed have a Constitutional right to pen out whatever she wants, even if it is crap (going back to what one of the above comments said about censorship). But by that same token of logic, I have the same right to say whatever I want about it. Honestly, why did she ever think it was okay to romanticize child grooming? And what idiot in the publishing industry let it slide? *headdesk*headdesk*headdesk*
Really, I can think of serveral tv shows worth watching. There are things like History channel and Discovery for example. Watching tv channels like that has actually helped me pass tests in school. What’s Twilight ever done for anyone except set false expectations?
Harry Potter. Now THOSE are good books.
People throwing up slugs is better than sparkly vampires? Did I miss something?
Vomiting a fountain of blood is less gross than throwing up slugs? Did I miss something?
um, hANNAH, maybe you should not compare the grossest thing in Harry Potter to something a lot of girls just hitting puberty swoon over from Twilight. Not a very fair comparison, agreed?
No one vomits a fountain of blood in twilight. If you actually read the books, you would know that.
I have, and I do know that. Re-read Breaking Dawn. I believe it’s the last sentence in the penultimate chapter in Jacob’s point of view. Correct me if I’m wrong, please.
I actually haven’t read Breaking Dawn yet. I was referring to the first book, Twilight. But I flipped through my copy of Breaking Dawn and found that you are right, she does vomit a fountain of blood. But it was because of the baby. I think we are both right in this instance.
You mean you’ve been obsessing over this series without even actually having read it? So all your commentary thus far about how much you love Twilight is in fact based upon the realization that everyone else has read and loved it and you must too? I wonder how many Twitards really do love this series based on this newfound knowlegde.
I have read the series except for Breaking Dawn. I am in the middle of it and I hadn’t gotten to that part so I flipped ahead. And I have proof that I love Twilight. I own all the books, including the behind the scenes stuff and I own Twilight on DVD and I have the Twilight soundtrack and I have a bunch of other stuff.
Hey if you’re okay with wasting your money on sexist crap, fine. Yay Capitalism. But next time don’t accuse us of never having read the books when you’re mking your arguments because you can’t come up with a rebuttal.
Um, Hannah. I own the books and special edition movie, as well. I own some Team Edward pins, and the soundtrack. (the last three things I mentioned were gifts, I assure you.) Does that mean that I, too, love Twilight? What a suprise!
Whether or not it was because of a baby, someone did vomit a fountain of blood. Also, you were obviously not just talking about Twilight (the book, not saga) as in an earlier comment (4 comments up from this one, i believe?) you said:
“No one vomits a fountain of blood in twilight. If you actually read the books, you would know that.”
Notice how you made the word ‘book’ plural. Therefore, you were talking about more than one book, and most people would logically assume that you meant the whole saga. So, why you would tell me I’m wrong without reading the last one, I fail to see the reason to. Can you give me a reasonable explanation?
The “s” was a typo.
Bella vomits a fountain of blood when giving birth, along with her baby completley breaking her body beyond repair, except vampire venom is full of *MAGICAL SPARLKES* or something so she lives anyway, to everyones immense chagrin.
Sorry, to the above article, I meant to say every description of Edward. but if this comes in before the other one, since it’s awaiting moderation, than this is gonna look stupid.
Okay, ignore the above comment, and I’m going to re-type out the first comment that for some reason did not make it here:
Hannah, I find it very interesting that Lauren and I seem to know more about the books that you are defending whole-heartedly than you do. I’m going to take a guess and say that you could quote every description of Edward, or every kiss or fade-to-black ’sex scene’ between Edward and Bella, but don’t know much else about the series than that. True or False? Jacob is a werewolf.
Actually, I know almost everything about Twilight. Oh, and, False. Jacob is a shapeshifter, not a werewolf.
. . . except that Bella vomits a fountain of blood and that Midnight Sun is a prequel with passages from the first book practically copied and pasted into the chapters, I’m sure you do know everything about Twilight.
Congratulations, Hannah. You know what creature a main character is. We all applaud you.
And, if you have read neither Breaking Dawn nor Midnight Sun, (or even what Midnight Sun is, for that matter) then I fail to see how you can claim that you know that much about Twilight.
A few year back, Harry Potter? Seriously, Ted, Pottermania is still alive and well–and not about to fade anytime soon. Just look at college campuses in the US: people who grew up on Harry Potter are starting Quidditch teams all over the country. I wish I could say I was one of them, but I haven’t the time. As for the “at least it makes kids read a book” defense, c’mon. If your only concern is them reading something, give them CosmoGirl or Cosmopolitan, or some equally stupid and mind numbing magazine.
Getting kids to read isn’t worthwhile if they’re reading shit like twilight (not capitalized on purpose). If you want to get them to read, and want them to expand onto something good, well, at the risk of sounding like the maniacal HP fangirl I am, give them HP. They’ll take this and expand from this excellent, well-written, entertaining series to other mature and intelligent books. twilight will only lead them onto other mind-numbing books that are not mentally challenging in any form.
twilight is the literary equivalent of soap operas and reality TV.
((Even if Edward isn’t a pedo–which is debatable–Jacob is. Hello, a newborn baby????????))
So does that make every immortal character of literature that had a love interest with a mortal a Pedophile?
Ed is not the first, nor will he ever be the last. Also I think the definition of pedophile should be fleshed out more.
The term pedophilia (or paedophilia) has a range of definitions as found in psychology, law enforcement, and the vernacular. As a medical diagnosis, it is defined as a psychological disorder in which an adult experiences a sexual preference for prepubescent children.
Keyword prepubescent.
But while am I even typing this?
ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH!
No, I’m not sure it makes every immortal character of literature that had a love interest with a mortal a pedophile. I think if they’re 15 or less years apart, its not really pedophilia, as long as the youngest is at least Bella’s age (17.) All the rest, though, are considered pedophiles to me. Though, assuming Bella has gone through puberty, you are right, I suppose. Pedophile isn’t the right word, by dictionary-definition. By the definition of Pedophile that most people believe is the definition, it is the right word. So, what’s a word for a 100+ year old dating a 17 year old, other than pedophile?
OMG! This is SERIOUS BUSINESS!
This graph is wonderful. I’ve never read or watched Twilight, and probably never will, but I’ve heard enough horror stories to get the joke.
Angelus also goes in the shiny center – anybody else remember him drawing Buffy while she slept?
At least Angelus was flat out evil though.
And had a sense of humor.
um… what’s with the bubble outside the whole thing that says “fathers of ill children”? can someone explain what that means?
I can explain it.
I included that because it came to mind that a father of a very ill girl in a hospital would willingly stay up all night to be sure she slept well.
They don’t fit into the Vampire, Pedophile, or Stalker sections of the chart.
It’s sort of a Far Side influence, I think, to kind of throw off the balance and add a more profoundness to the chart.
Also, I’m amazed that I got this level of response from the chart.
I’ll say chart one more time. Chart.
It was a cute addition. I liked it.
The title of the chart is “Men Who Stay Up All Night to Watch Girls While They Sleep”. The chart is graphically representing that vampires, stalkers and pedophiles each will watch girls while they sleep, and are linked through the creepy nature of that watching. “Fathers of ill children” will also stay up all night to make sure that their kids are getting better and not worsening (especially if it is a fever), however it is out of love and not creepiness, and thus they are separated from the trifecta of creepitude.
lol @ trifecta of creepitude
“Fathers of Ill Children” can stay up all night watching girls (and boys) while they sleep without being at all creepy. (In fact, it’s rather noble, or at the very least practical.)
Hence, they have a circle, but it doesn’t interact with the creepy part of the Venn diagram….
Ted typed faster, and said it better!
Muahahahah. Actually yours is probably clearer. Kudos.
WIN
boooooooo!
Gtfo, noob.
Actually, has anyone noticed that we haven’t had a single person on here going ‘OMG SHATAP YOU’RE JUST JELUS COZ EDWARD IS MIIIIINNNEEEEE’?
Just wait. LalyLovesTwilight is bound to say it sooner or later.
Seriously who is he? That greasy glowing vampiredude from that teen series or movie or whatever??
Yeah, that’s him.
Thank you for the dad circle.
seconded.
edward is not a pedophile nor a stalker. he is permantently 17 and bella WANTS HIM THERE. being a stalker implies that you are following someone and it isn´t wanted.
it´s really sad to me that any guy acts a little bit attentive and suddenly he´s creepy. like women would rather have a guy not give a crap about them anymore.
You make me sad by thinking he’s attentive. An attentive bf wants you to have a life outside him. An obsessive one doesn’t.
Because if it turns out the guy is cute or you like him back, the stalking is justified. Of course.
Wouldn’t you be creeped out if you found out a guy you just meant stood in your room and watched you sleep for the first month or so before you actually got to know each other?
Oh, and for the first month Bella didn’t really have a choice whether she wanted him there or not. Granted, she probably would have, but he had no way of knowing that.
she didnt know he was in her room for like a month.
he was sneaking into her room.
thats not attentive.
its stalking.
Ok, seriously – “attentive” is cooking dinner when you know I’m working late, or knowing what kind of book I’d like for my birthday. It’s picking up jasmine tea when I have a cold. Breaking into my room at night, uninvited, to watch me while I sleep is not attentive. It is stalking. And furthermore, it is CREEPY. Even if the guy is cute. Even if I would have otherwise liked him.
He’s still hawt =_+
And not a pedophile.
Vampire, yes (w00t)
Stalker, mwah no not really =)
He’s just looking out for his girl!
Oh did I mention: it’s a movie!
…
Still hawt!
You still fail at life.
isn´t it sad that people gripe about how unemotional guys are, and yet here comes a story about a guy who really loves his girl and watches out for her, and suddenly it´s a bad thing. people are funny.
I’m pretty sure we’re just making fun because of the WAY Edward shows his “love”. The CREEPY way. I may be wrong, but…
nope, i’m pretty sure you’re right.
ha its so funny how people start these long, meanngless convos over a picture
High five, awesome, love it.
iLol’d
Fucking awesome.
Edward: Bella, you hit your head. I think you’re confused.
Bella: I know what I saw.
Edward: And what exactly was that?
Bella: You stopped the van. You pushed it away with your hand.
Edward: Well, nobody’s going to believe you.
Edward: I like watching you sleep. I find it fascinating
Edward: I wanted to kill you at first. I’ve never wanted a human’s blood so much, before.
Edward: I’m the world’s most dangerous predator. Everything about me invites you in. My voice, my face, even my smell. As if I would need any of that. As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off. I’m designed to kill.
Bella: I can’t dance.
Edward: Hmm…Well, I could always make you.
Bella: I’m not scared of you.
Edward: [laughs] Well you really shouldn’t have said that.
…..WRONG.
Both Angel and Spike should be in the magenta section.
and Deadpool, but he might just go under “Stalker”.
it would only be funny if you filled in the rest of the graph
It’s not clever at all that you’ve identified 3 characteristics of Edward Cullen
I’m curious as to what you mean by, “filled in the rest of the graph.”
I find this hilarious, but inaccurate. Edward Cullen doesn’t stay up all night to watch her sleep, but he has nothing better to do because he doesnt sleep (since he is a vampire). So, he doesnt stay up, he watches her because there is nothing better to do. And he only did it for a month or so, then he just lays next to her and they talk mostly.
Technically, we does stay up all night to watch her sleep. Granted, he can’t help it that he stays up all night, but that he does. It is his choice to watch her sleep, unbeknown to her. Perhaps, in his opinion, there is nothing better to do. But I’m sure there is SOMETHING else to do. If you found out that a guy (let’s make him an insomniac so that he has nothing better to do than watch you sleep.) you didn’t know very well except that occasionally you sat next to him in Biology (That is, on the days he is actually present) had been sneaking into your room (If you’ve read the available chapters of Midnight Sun, you would know that he actually uses an oil can the first time to get in, so that the window does not squeak, and she does not wake up.) for the past month or so, just to watch you sleep, whether he can sleep or not(In the case I just mentioned, he cannot.), wouldn’t he qualify as a stalker?
He did stay up to watch her sleep. There are lots of better things to do (for instance, read a book–or, hell, even watch tv). Oh, well, if he only did it for a month that makes it all ok. NOT.
My point, exactly.
whoever made this graph is an asshat. you have no right to be criticizing Twilight!
Yeah, how dare he express his opinion! He has no right to speak for some reason!
I agree. Anyone who has an opinion against Twilight has no right to an opinion!
It’s truly evil to not like a god damn book! HISS!
Obviously, you have an opinion about Twilight. Your opinion is that you like it, but still in opinion. Thus, you shall no longer have a right to an opinion!
oh, wow. i feel like an idiot. i didnt read DOWN the post, I read up it. I now realize you were being sarcastic. sooooorry!
To think that everyone has a right to vote. *shakes head*
It’s terrible! *Sighs*
I love Twilight with all my heart, and I found this hilarious.
Leave twilight alone! Leave it alone! You bastards!
JHarkness, it’s just a joke. I love Twilight, too, but you have to admit this is pretty funny.
I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I had to be a published author to have an opinion of the books I read, or a well-known artist to know if I like a painting or not, or an Iron Chef to know when something tastes bad. Grow up.
really, hannah. haven’t you ever criticized anything before?
No, I haven’t, thank you. And I would appreciate it if you would use proper grammar and capitalize the first letter of my name.
P.S.: New moon is in theaters November 21st!
You’re lying. You’re criticizing us right now for not liking Twilight.
I was not criticizing you , I simply stated that whoever made this graph should not be criticizing twilight. And the only reason that I wrote that comment in the first place is to see what kinds of dumb ass responses I could get out of people.
If you like the books, then you’ve criticized them. Criticism doesn’t have to be negative. Dictionary.com writes; “Criticism – the act of passing judgment as to the merits of anything.” Either way, you’ve still lied, or you don’t understand what criticism is.
In any case, I believe calling someone an “asshat” qualifies as criticizing them. And if the only reason you’re here is to provoke trouble, you’re the “asshat” here.
I am laughing at you so much right now.
the word ur looking for ir “lol”. welcome to the internet.
I’ve been using the internet since I was three. And yes, I do know what “LOL” means, I just prefer to use proper grammar and not immature text lingo.
Perhaps you’d care to elaborate on what you find so funny? Or perhaps you couldn’t think of a decent response?
I find it funny how many people are typing idiotic responses to my comment. I laugh every time I check for new comments.
What’s idiotic about preciesly? The fact that you didn’t know what criticism was? You’re only laughing at yourself. And we’re laughing with you. Excuse me, I meant AT you.
Again with the ages! I don’t see how the fact that you’ve been using the internet since you were three has anything to do with knowing what LOL means. I think all it shows is that you were most likely a lazy toddler. By the way, in the same comment that you wrote: I would appreciate it if you would use proper grammar and capitalize the first letter of my name.
You also wrote:
P.S.: New moon is in theaters November 21st!
If you’re really so worried about proper capitalization, you would have realized that the word ‘moon’ should be capitalized in ‘New Moon,’ since that is a proper name.
proper NOUN* Sorry.
Okay, seriously?
Let me just say that I absolutely love Twilight, and I found this funny. All of you who are freaking out need to calm the **** down. It’s a book series for God’s sake.
To me, the whole point of the Twilight saga is that they’re not like other vampires. It’s established within the first…oh, I don’t know…few hundred pages. I don’t know the number off the top of my head.
While I read the books and loved them, and saw the movie and thought it was okay, I have no problem agreeing with the fact that it contributes absolutely nothing to the world of literature.
But believe it or not, it IS possible to like Twilight and other books that are actually worth reading.
It’s okay to like it, it’s okay not to like it. Everyone just needs to calm down.
/rant
THANK YOU. While I enjoy the Twilight books, I also found myself laugh a bit at this chart.
As for all the people ranting about what a piece of crap the books are, why bother? You aren’t changing anyone’s minds one way or another. So what. So what if millions of teenage girls liked the books. So what if it isn’t the most stimulating piece of literature that ever existed. Read something else for god’s sake.
I’m so sick of all these pompous asses leaving comments on here as if they are the wittiest, most sensational thing since sliced bread. Get over yourselves. It’s only a chart.
I can only speak for me, but I take the books seriously because so many others do, in levels that just aren’t healthy. I hear stories pretty frequently of girls dumping perfectly good guys because they aren’t enough like Edward. It’s great to have standards, but holding your guy to perfection while you don’t do anything to change is hypocritical and setting yourself up for failure in the future. The messages in the book just aren’t good ones to set your life by, no matter how entertaining the book might be. And from the fans I’ve seen, I’m not entirely sure they can seperate themselves from the book to realize it is just fiction, not the Bible. There’s even a movement on the Internet called “Cullenism” that essentially makes Twilight a religion. While it may be all in good fun for some of the more intelligent fans, there are those taking it to cult – like status. If they can express their loving adoration for the series by making a freaking religion, then I think it’s okay for us to express our passsionate hatred by commenting on a chart.
The only thing I’m laughing at is your dumb ass responses. Retards.
And I laugh at how you think swearing and calling someone with a perfectly logical response that you’re most likely not bright enough to understand helps to make your point.
That comment made completely no sense. Retype it so people can understand it.
Translation for the Mentally Insecure: Janie thinks it is funny that Hannah swears and calling Lauren, who just wrote something incredibly* logical* as a reply to something stupid Hannah wrote, a retard to make Hannah’s point, because she is probably* not smart enough to understand* what Lauren meant.
*-words may need to be looked up.
You wrote a chain of inconsistent words and I was not sure what you were trying to say.
It was completley legible to the rest of us.
No, Hannah. I wrote a chain of words that form what is called a sentence. This is something you would not know if you have read Twilight enough.
We “pompous asses” have as much of a right to comment as you do.
ok! no more saying edward is a pedophile!!!!! crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love edward
Sure, Edward’s great, but think about it. he has the appearance of a 17 year old, but really, he has the life lessons of a 100+ year old. so, really, if someone had plastic surgery, and looked ten years younger, they arent really ten years younger, right? theyre still just as old, they just look younger. correct?
haha. Another bashing for Twilight. How original and hilarious. Let’s keep making the same joke over and over, shall we?
I’ve never seen this one before.
I think it’ pretty original AND hillarious.
I’ve never seen this one before.
I think it’ pretty original AND hilarious.
If it hadn’t been for Fagman Joe, I’d have been married a long time ago
This is so true!
Ohh. . .
This. . . this. . .
This is awesome on so many levels!!!!!
Boo Twilight!
that is really funny and kinda sad but more funny. i am actually a twilight fan and i couldn’t agree more.
absolutely hilarious! : )
what about Amy Winehouse?
i was sort of wondering where male ICU and emergency nurses fit into this diagram…
hey ppl. im eleven, right? and im pretty mature t read the books. theyre awesome. and the books inspired me to be an author. ALL MY THNX TO STEPHENIE MEYER!!!! YYYYAAAYYY!!!
(SENT FROM AUSTRALIA)
If you were pretty mature, you’d probably be able to formulate full sentences. Just saying…
If it’s because Stephanie Meyer lowered your expectations of author from “person who can write, develop a plotline and invent their own reality in a fantasy book without offending a huge sub-section of the fans because you deliberately tried to completely change a well-followed myth” to “idiotic, thought-lacking press whore who can’t formulate a coherent sentence” then yes, your post would make perfect sense.
Hate to break it to you, but reading the books doesn’t make you mature.
There’s a problem….Edward Cullen is not a vampire.
He’s an elf. Immortal, “perfect” looks, pale skin, and refuses to eat his natural food source. Oh, and he is a prick.
I thought he was an incubus. . .
If he is, Lauren, more like an Incu-bitch. Sorry, can’t help the dumb jokes.
I dunno, I just remember reading that interpretation somewhere. Except it makes about as much sense as him being a vampire, as an inncubus needs to have sex all the time to survive, which we all know wasn’t happening.
WWWWOOOWWW thats nice! (sarcasam talk)
But it’s true
Laly, not everyone is as stupid as you. You don’t have to explain to us that you’re being sarcastic.
LEAVE TWILIGHT ALONE!!!! WHAT DID IT EVER DO TO YOU!!! THEIR HAVING PROBLEMS AS IT IS!!! DO YOU THINK IT’S EASY TO PAY FOR CHILD CARE ON A HALF-VAMPIRE BABY?!?!? DO YOU THINK IT’S EASY TO LIVE ON ANIMAL BLOOD INSTEAD OF HUMAN BLOOD FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE? THE SERIES COULD INSTEAD BE ABOUT VAMPIRES KILLING PEOPLE AND SUCKING OUT THEIR BLOOD WHEN THEY’RE SLEEPING! MAYBE THE VAMPIRES WILL GO DO IT TO YOU!!! THEY’RE NOT HUMAN! AND ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS MAKE JOKES ABOUT HOW THEY SPARKLE! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF YOU SPARKLED? EVERYONE WOULD THINK YOU WERE A FREAK! YOU’D HAVE TO STAY OUT OF THE SUN OR ELSE EVERYONE WOULD THINK THAT YOU WERE GAY! AND IF YOU’RE A GIRL, THEY WOULD THINK THAT YOU WERE SOME FREAKING POPSTAR THAT HAS A TOTAL SELF-IMAGE PROBLEM. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE COMPARED TO BRITNEY SPEARS? I KNOW THEY’RE NOT HUMAN, SO YOU CAN’T REALLY RELATE TO THEM, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN WE SHOULDN’T CARE ABOUT THEM. MAYBE THEY’LL JUST CLIMB IN YOUR WINDOW ONE NIGHT AND SUCK ALL YOUR BLOOD OUT AND LEAVE YOU DEAD. DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT? LEAVE TWILIGHT ALONE!
I really hope you’re sarcastically making fun of other people who seriously talk like this about Twilight. Otherwise, you and the ones like you are a large part of the reason we make fun of this series. I do think it’s easy for them to pay for a half vampire baby. They don’t need child care because they’re effing millionaires. Daddy Dr. Cullen can do everything for them. I do think it’s easy for them to live on animal blood – there hasn’t been much of a problem so far. We all read how easily Bella got it under control. “They’re not human”? Try they’re not real. And for the record, people don’t sparkle. Were vampires real, they would not sparkle. We make fun of that fact because it’s that stupid and that ridiculous to write. And how does staying out of the sun make people think you are gay? Do gays burn easily? Or is your logic just retarded?
“What did it ever do to you?” Well not to me personally, but try this link: http://twilightsucks.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=fangirls&action=display&thread=5175
funny link. but you are an idiot for not getting this.
I said at the beginning, “I really hope you’re sarcastically making fun of other people who seriously talk like this about Twilight.” As in, I really hope this is a Chris Crocker reference. The rant was just in case it wasn’t, and you’re an idiot for not reading the entire post. Glad you liked the link though.
hahaha, i loved the link. hillarious. i showed it to everyone.
Thanks. I’m not sure how many are true, but a lot of them a certainly plausible, and given the fangirls I’ve seen, I wouldn’t be surprised at how many DO turn out to be true.
Hey, why did my name change? O_O
I bet most of them are true. Definitely would not be surprised.
There seems to be some issues with accepting the opinions of others and seperating reality from fantasy. We see in online pretty frequently. It’s not exactly a stretch of the imagination to see that behavior translate that from the Internet into real life. Sad, but there it is.
This does not have anything to do with Twilight, but with your statement, “There seems to be some issues… seperating reality from fantasy.”
The other day, my cousin actually tried to put a spell on me. A spell she learned from Harry Potter.
I don’t have anything against Harry Potter, but I may have some issues with the people who are so obsessed with it that they start thinking it’s real. That can’t be healthy.
Eh, at least HP fans weren’t RABID though. At least, not that I’ve heard of.
Ha Ha. Your cousin thinks she’s a witch. Maybe her brain is in her head upside down?
Ha Ha. you love the Twilight series. Maybe you don’t HAVE a brain?
If I didn’t have a brain it wouldn’t be possible for me to have a MRI, which I have had. Thank you.
Perhaps the MRI was to confirm that a brain was in fact present inside your skull? Or perhaps you need a lesson in sarcasm. Allow me;
Sarcasm – a verbal defense against stupidity.
Sarchasm – the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it .
(Source; urbandictionary)
I had an MRI because I have Pseudotumor Disorder and the doctors wanted to confirm their suspicions.
MRI’s are not always for brains. Also, you can have an MRI even if your brain has been taken out. You just wouldn’t be alive.
My cousin may think she’s a witch, but she’s eight. You think you’re going to marry a vampire and have little half-vampire half-humans babies and you’re… was it twelve? I think my cousin’s issue is more probable.
I know vampires aren’t real, but I’m still allowed to like the books. And if I didn’t have a brain I would be dead.
When did I say you weren’t allowed to read the books? I think you’re allowed to read the books, just like I am allowed to state my opinion on them. When did I say you didn’t have a brain? Because I just re-read all the comments that I posted and I never said you did not have a brain. (Though, if you are going to say that, I will point out that if my cousin’s brain was in her head upside-down, she would be dead as well.) I will venture to say that, although you must have a brain, you are not taking advantage of having one that works properly.
the fact you needed to clarify pretty much proves my point doesnt it…
and you dont need to rant for ages over every insignificant crap that crosses your mind. i come on here to troll, not to bore myself to sleep.
Then don’t read the comments if it bores you so much. The fact that I needed to clarify only proves that you’re too lazy to take the time to read and understand a post. I don’t NEED to rant over everything that comes to mind no, but that comment doesn’t carry much weight coming from an admitted troll.
zzz… needs moar practice
I’m assuming by that comment that you need more practice catching z’s. In that case, can I watch and pretend I’m Edward?
well, you know what they say about assuming…
and the answer would depend on wether you plan to “sparkle” into my unsuspecting mouth while i snooze or not.
Great. Now my mental images of that scene are even worse than before.
great to be of service. now TITS OR GTFO!
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
”Doulbe C” you just need to not post everything in ALL CAPS just so you know it is considered screaming online and also very rude. your ranting and raving is making absolutely no sense!! 1) What does Britney Spears have to do with anything??? 2) ”Twilight” is fictional and i suggest that if you belive it isnt you should see a psychologist. 3) Seeing as it is fictional there would be no way that a ”vampire” could come into someones room at night and suck out their blood while they were sleeping! Now i am a huge fan of fantasy and i do enjoy reading the Twilight books i dont love the series but i dont hate it. some of my closest friends are die-hard Twilight fans and i respect that but some people online are just taking it way too seriously!! everyone just needs to calm down!
Sarcasm. Don’t put Double C in quotes if you’re not spelling it correctly. It’s a Chris Crocker reference, you idiot.
thank you very much but my sense of humor (which some people find strange) is exactly why i put it in quotes.
That makes absolutely no sense. Not to anyone anywhere. Nobody thinks your sense of humor is strange. They just don’t think you’re funny.
Agreed. I love twilight. I practically have the whole Saga memorized. But, that comment from Double C was ridiculous. I’m still not sure If she/he was serious or not.
its called a satire. idiot.
Sorry, but with some of the fans I have met, you can never be sure.
I pray to God that you are kidding.
Just in case you really believe what you wrote and weren’t just having a joke at the fangirls’ expenses…stfu…and…omg you really need some professional help, you know, sort out what’s real and what is make-believe…really badly written, make-believe.
also fail.
What does stfu mean?
“I’ve been using the internet since I was three. And yes, I do know what “LOL” means,”
– quoted from one of your posts. Yet you don’t know what “stfu” means? Seriously? You can’t even make an informed guess?
I suppose you’re not going to tell me what it means.
I suppose you can’t use urban dictionary? or wikipedia? Strange, since you’ve been using the internet since you were three.
STFU means shut the f*** up.
I think a lot of people would really like it if you did.
Turn off the capital letters, it makes it harder to read.
Finally someone who agrees with me.
epic fail.
what about pedobear?
ur conversation is to freaking long just shut up and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!
hahahahahhaahahahahah roflol.
but wait…JACOB was the pedophile not Edward. Bella’s eighteen, Renesmee’s an infant…haha.
Right, but technically Edward is almost one hundred years old and by the end of the saga Bella is 18. So, I guess they both are? haha
But all Jacob does is imprint on her. He doesn’t have sex with her. The only thing imprinting does is make her fall in love with him when she grows up. And he doesn’t have sex with her. Although they might in Midnight Sun. Who knows?
Imprinting is by its very nature sexual. It’s means the werewolves have someone to reproduce with in the future, ensuring that the werewolf gene is passed on. By imprinting, an understood sexual future is immenient. It’s called child grooming – “The deliberate actions taken by an adult to form a trusting relationship with a child, with the intent of later having sexual contact” (source; Wikipedia). This is exactly what the werewolves are doing. Jacob and Quil will be a friend, father, or brother, whatever is needed until their mate is old enough to carry that aforementioned werewolf gene. Imprinting DOES NOT make the female in question fall in love with the imprinter. And if it did, it would make the process even more sexist and dehumanizing than it already is by not giving the female so much as a voice in the matter. Not that they have one as it is, but FORCING love would make it even worse. The power of the relationship is all in the males hands. Granted, the males don’t choose to imprint, but the point of imprinting is that when they do, it is unquestionably thier soulmate, no doubts, no regrets, no choice for anyone. The entire process is sick, degrading, and in this case, pedophillic.
First of all, read what Lauren said, cause she’s right. Second, do you know what Midnight Sun is? Because if you did, I think you’d realize that your statement about them possibly having sex in Midnight Sun does not make sense, as at the time Midnight Sun takes place, Jacob is not a shape-shifter, therefore he cannot imprint (yet). Even if he could imprint, he wouldn’t have, as Renesme was not born yet, and that would ruin the whole plot of New Moon and Eclipse.
Midnight sun is a prequel?
*facepalm*
Oh, boy. Midnight Sun is Twilight from Ed’s POV.
Awesome.
You’re one true fan, aren’t you?
You forgot Santa
lmao
EPIC WIN
LOVE TWILIGHT. LOVE THE BOOKS. HATE THE MOVIES CUZ THEY SUCK.
(i think the actor of edward looks a bit scary AKA: UUUGGGLLLEE!!!)
This is a perfect example of why Twilight is so awful. They encourage the notion of superficial beauty as the standard for goodness. He’s ugly? And thus scary? How shallow of you. Not unlike most of the fans I venture to say.
my oppinion!
So it is your opinion that beauty equals goodness? That not being a model means you’re a villian?
aaawww thats soooooo sweet! thanks for the LOVELY compliments!
You’re welcome.
really, laly? that’s the best thing you can think of to say? so, you admit that you’re a very superficial person?
maybe laly is greek, hence the beauty=truth/good ideal
ohh, that would explain a lot, actually.
No, it actually really wouldn’t.
Being a geek myself, I resent that you would group me in with any Twilight fans. Who I understand are now popping up in geek places like ComicCon, which may be where that comment came from.
gReek. learn to read, thnx.
Sorry. I have another tab pulled up where I’m chatting with a friend about current geekdom. The two just got mixed up I guess. My bad guys.
Being a Greek myself, I don’t find that particularly amusing.
philosophy 101, u needz it
*Ancient* Greeks used the same word for good and for beautiful, because beauty for them was the result of exercising body and mind.
Greeks, today, can tell the difference.
As for philosophy 101, I believe I’m way ahead of you.
Also, I can capitalize. Gasp.
I don’t think they had the same word, but in their hierarchy of goodness, the ultimate good was was Truth, followed by Beauty. So I guess i can see where the comment was coming from. Perhaps he meant that laly has a very ancient mindset? Though I doubt she holds Truth in high reguard.
Kallos (KAH-loss) was beauty, while kalos (kah-LOS) was good. They had the same root. And I seriously doubt he meant that laly had a very ancient mindset. Anyway, won’t bother with it any longer.
HaHa, LOLcat speak. They’re translating the Bible into LOLcat speak. Go to Wikipedia and type in “LOLcat Bible”.
You’re a bit behind on the Internet memes. Try going here; http://knowyourmeme.com/ or here; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Internet_phenomena
Hey ppl. my love goes to Lulu and ses eout there!
AND ALL MAH FRIENDS AT LORETO COLLEGE MARRATVILLE!!!
HEY GEORGIA! I MISS U SO MUCH!
Can you say “random”?
By the way, ppl that hate twilight. . . i have one thing to say t you. . .
U SUCK!
So do vampires, ironically enough.
And please, learn to spell. I don’t care if you are eleven; if you’re going to defend this series, at least make an intelligent effort. Quit resulting to name calling and fallacies to make your point.
IF U DONT STOP REPLYING TO MY COMMENTS I SWARE ILL GET SERIOSLY ANGRY!
BY THE WAY, STOP BEING SUCH A BULLY! JUST BECAUSE YOURE EIGHTEEN AND IM ELEVEN DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN BE A SCHOOLYARD BULLY!
If you’re not mature enough to handle comments like these, nevermind the ones that actually *are* of a cruel nature, you don’t need to be on the Internet at all. If I were a bully, I’d be talking in ALL CAPS and calling your mother names with a PG-13 rating. You don’t offer anything to the discussion at hand, you can’t spell, and you’re generally just annoying. If you’d like to have an intelligent discourse on why you love Twilight, fine. But give a reason other than OMG THIS IZ THA BEST BOOK EVAR!!1!!1. You don’t gain any credibility among the non-fans by telling us we suck for not conforming to your opinion.
as i said. My oppinion. OH and by the way, i dont care of what u think about me. Cus ur just annoying. so u might as well go hide under a rock and rot.
lauren’s annoying? she’s not the one talking in all caps, spelling everything wrong, and saying idiotic things. she’s the one stating the truth. i guess this means that the truth is too much for you to handle.
Agreeing with Lauren Somewhat here – If you love this book so much, and cant even give a credible reason as to why, Why do you defend it so much?
I love it because its interesting, Humorus, (in some ways), action packed and most of all THRILLING THERE. also because my vousin told me to read thyem. HI LU! if u r out there!
Oh, you love the books because your vousin told you to read thyem? how cute, and what a great reason to love a saga.
many people enjoy things that give a THRILL THERE
What kind of ‘THRILL’ does Twilight give you?
i guess it all comes down to how you tilt the book against your va-jayjay.
That’s what many of the other before-puberty Twilighters tell me, as well.
i believe the word you’re looking for is prepubescent.
It was, thank you. I couldn’t think of the word at the time.
AAAAAWWWWLLL the fist letter sof mah friends namez:
T
C
E
M
L
S
N
B
L
G
E
“G”
C
G
J
M
N
and all the others in 6G.
How, In any way WHATSOEVER is this related to this conversation.
Dunno. I felt like saying that.
Some more randomness.
Why must people say ‘randomness’ on here? Is it because they have nothing intelligent to say but feel that they must say something for no known reason?
By the way, Tyler. seriosly, get lost, nobody wants to be near u when u r such a meanie.
(id usually use harsher words, but since im eleven and im on the enternet, i wont)
By the way Laly loves twilight, seriously, get lost, nobody wants to read your atrocious grammar.
I’d use harsher words, but I’m eighteen and on the Internet, and I’m afraid you wouldn’t understand them.
SHADDUP!!
BULLY! YOURE SO MEAN! CRUEL, ASTONISHINGLY ANNOYING!
Stop being so idiotic!
astonishingly – big word for you.
bully – not so much.
I think that it was kinda sWEETt to put in the phrase ” fathers of ill children” in there. that nice.
SWINE FLU. . . IM SICK OF HEARING THOSE WORDS!
What? Why? Because H1N1 Is a life-threatening disease if caught late in, and can be easily spread through the air? Or maybe its because H1N1
Is becoming an extreme case in North and South America and people need to know the safety precautions otherwise they could catch this ailment? Those are just my guesses, feel free to tell me otherwise. Also, Twilight was NOT the best book ever written. There were many flaws to the book, such as – Sparkling Vampires – Impossibly conceived children – Pedo Vampires (Watches as she sleeps? And to make it worse, she wasn’t even her boyfriend of the time!) – Not a viable plot – And Finally, the 4 books could have easily been compressed into a 5 page picture book.
*sigh* why must ppl annoy eleven year olds over the enternet?!
also, not just because im ABSOLUTLEY over the darn swine flu thing, i also dont think that comment was ok. . . it was too random!!
by the way. If corst twilight saga id just books, but theyre cool. PLUS, there will practicly be NOBODy u will find that will not know about it.
I think we all just decided not to comment on this, too, but, Laly, I fail to see how KrikaKrika’s comment was random. Was it not you who brought up Swine Flu, while you had no reason to? And was KrikaKrika just responding to a comment you left?
Why are eleven year olds allowed unsupervised use of the internet?
*sigh* Why must eleven-year-olds be allowed to annoy people over the Internet?
To be fair, they’re not the only annoying people on the internet. However, I agree wholeheartedly that all nuisances (i.e. all trolls) should be banned. Laly, that includes you.
SWINEY!!!!
Thank you Laly, for giving me something to laugh at before bed. Thanks for being a troll, you’ve done your part, now leave.
On a note that isn’t related to the troll… Great graph, the good dads thing is sort of like the Butters of the graph, he’s there in the corner, adding some slight humor to the complete picture.
Y’know Smiley predator, Your nice. LAUREN UP THERE! why are u such an idiot? u r bullying an eleven-year old over the enternet you see????
As I believe I wrote before: “If you’re not mature enough to handle comments like these, nevermind the ones that actually *are* of a cruel nature, you don’t need to be on the Internet at all. If I were a bully, I’d be talking in ALL CAPS and calling your mother names with a PG-13 rating.”
I have not bullied you, I’ve offered for discussion what I believe to be valid points of interest in your posts. I have not called you names, or told you where to stick it. YOU on the other hand, have told me to rot under a rock, called me “MEAN, CRUEL, ASTONISHINGLY ANNOYING” and insinuated I suck for not agreeing with your opinion. “My opinion” is a valid defense for you to use when talking about your love for the series, but not one for me to use when talking about my hate of it?
Furthermore, quit using your age to justify your lack of intelligent posting. I know when I was eleven, I could at least spell and punctuate things properly, even if the actual content left something to be desired. Quit whining and grow up or take some English courses.
Thanks =D
PLEASE LALY! over all these posts ive read of yours (there’s far too many) you keep repeatedly saying something about the “enternet.” if you MUST say it so many times, at least spell it right. I-N-T-E-R-N-E-T. and i believe smileypredator was not being ‘nice.’ (by the way, correct grammar would have been “you’re nice,” not, “Your nice.”) smileypredator called you a troll.
I was kidding. Im WAY smarter than that.
I doubt that.
Hey ppl of the world. IM totally over tyhe fact of swine flu. Its getting quite annoying to hrar that most days on the radio.
P.s: SENT FROM AUSTRALIA!!! (yay)
translation of your comment:
Hey, people of the world! I’m totally over swine flu. It’s getting quite annoying to hear about it so many often on the radio.
P.S. Sent from Australia! (Yay!)
Really, Laly. Learn grammar. And how to make complete sentences. You’re totally over the “fact of swine flu?” Wow. What fact is this? Also, what on earth does swine flu have to do with this?
Thanks for the translation. I did’t bother replying to that comment, as I had no idea what exactly was being said.
. . . swine flu. . . hhhhmmmm. .
I’m not completely sure that’s right. I just attempted to guess.
well. . fact 1, imexactley ten years younger than the age of 21.
Fact 2, i dont know what swine flu has to do with this. Besides, im allowed to mention swine flu. (if i feel like it)
Fact one: WOW. you can sort of do math. I don’t find it relevant how much younger than 21 you are, but since we’re sharing… I’m almost 7 years younger than 21. And I doubt you’re exactly 10 years younger than 21, since I don’t believe you were born exactly 11 years ago from this very second.
Fact two: You can’t spell for the life of you, yet you claim to be smart. at least use a dictionary if you want to make it look like you’re smart. you can even use online ones. I’m sick of translating your comments in my head.
Er… Off topic here, But may I start Rick-Rolling people?
You have to ask permission now? o_O
You know, all i wanted to do was say a simple comment on this graph, and what happens? Yeah. Im ashamed.
P.s: I dont care what vocabulary im using!
P.S.S: I LOVE TWILIGHT!
P.s.S.s: Please leave me aone. It would be much appreciated.
No, you wanted to be annoying by shouting off to your friends and talking about things that have nothing to do with the graph, and you wanted to get something started, as evidenced by this post;
“By the way, Tyler. seriosly, get lost, nobody wants to be near u when u r such a meanie.
(id usually use harsher words, but since im eleven and im on the enternet, i wont)”
Furthermore, you claim to be intelligent (“I was kidding. Im WAY smarter than that.”) but don’t offer any evidence of it. So either you really are what your posts make you out to be, or you’re lying. Granted, you can lie if you want to, because I know you’re going to use that defense, but that still doesn’t make it right and backs up my previous claim that you only came here to stir up trouble.
shut up, man, this little twit is not worth the time/effort ur wasting here. plus ur being equally as annoying when u lead her on…
I’m not a man as you should be able to tell from my name.
And I could say you’re being annoying as well for abuse of the English language at the very least. If I have that much time to waste (and I do), it’s my business.
Hannah
August 2, 2009 at 6:26 am
I’ve been using the internet since I was three. And yes, I do know what “LOL” means, I just prefer to use proper grammar and not immature text lingo.
Why did you copy my comment?
Now as i was saying from when i first found this graph. . .
“I like this graph! I also love the twilight saga! yyaaaayyy. Seny from australia”
NOW?! was that so bad?! Thats all i needed to do. Now go away.
Hopefully this will be my last comment.
Again, you spelled things wrong. and we already know that you are from Australia, you’ve said it enough.
thank god it’s your last comment. i think i speak for most everyone when i say that we all pray that’s really true.
well. No thats not true.
YES!!!!!! DEATH TO THE CREEPY STALKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
U r right
(my friend at school keeps saying she keeps dreaming about a person stalking her. . . .)
Which i find quite funny because shes quite smart, and its unexpected that shed say that.
What happened to last post, Laly? I though we were through with having to deal with your idiotic nonsense? saaaaad):
OMG 2 ppl im mah school have swime floo!!!! OMg OMg OMG
Yeah Freakin right. Click on my website for more information on swine flu laly!
FLAME WAR!!!!!!
SPY CHECK! SPY CHECK! SPY CHECK! SPY CHECK!
Krika, you continue to make my day. just thought I’d mention that.
Keepin this thread alive – Keepin this thread alive!
ITS OVER 9000!
I LIKE TEH MUDKIPZ
RICK ROLLED
THE CAKE IS A LIE
Why doesn’t everyone here just die.
Seriously.
you’re here, too, now. you would die as well.
Edward can stalk and watch me sleep anytime he wants. I don’t care if he’s not real or if he’s married. Bella can go jump in the lake :]>
…
I have no words to express how much I loathe you.
you are going to fail miserably in your relationships, and in the rest of your life as well. I personally agree that bella can go drown, but so should every shallow, desperate doormat. That includes you, in case you didn’t get that. Twilight is probably the worst book ever written, because it encourages girl children like you to be silly, giddy, and weak.
Lots of randomness. P.S. I’m 12. More randomness. I can be random if I want to. Bye.
As I said in another post, quit using age to justify idiotic rambling. Age is not an indicator of intelligence or maturity, things which you lack, as evidenced by your other posts here. You can be random if you want to, but we can call you out on it if we want to by the exact same stroke of logic.
wow, censorship much?
What does censorship have to do with anything?
Censorship is the suppression of speech or deletion of communicative material which may be considered objectionable, harmful, sensitive, or inconvenient to the government or media organizations as determined by a censor.
The rationale for censorship is different for various types of information censored:
Moral censorship is the removal of materials that are obscene or otherwise morally questionable. Pornography, for example, is often censored under this rationale, especially child pornography, which is censored in most jurisdictions in the world.
Military censorship is the process of keeping military intelligence and tactics confidential and away from the enemy. This is used to counter espionage, which is the process of gleaning military information. Very often, militaries will also attempt to suppress politically inconvenient information even if that information has no actual intelligence value.
Political censorship occurs when governments hold back information from their citizens. The logic is to exert control over the populace and prevent free expression that might foment rebellion.
Religious censorship is the means by which any material objectionable to a certain faith is removed. This often involves a dominant religion forcing limitations on less prevalent ones. Alternatively, one religion may shun the works of another when they believe the content is not appropriate for their faith.
Corporate censorship is the process by which editors in corporate media outlets intervene to halt the publishing of information that portrays their business or business partners in a negative light.
cen⋅sor⋅ship [sen-ser-ship] Show IPA
–noun
1. the act or practice of censoring.
2. the office or power of a censor.
3. the time during which a censor holds office.
4. the inhibiting and distorting activity of the Freudian censor
I’ve noticed that everyone who says how old they are generally seem to be the most immature.
im eleven. im on ur side.
Lauren: “huh?”
hannah/laly: im the smart one
I’m… confused. That comment made no sense.
Who cares how old you are and why would that mean you’re on my side?
She was responding to Hannah (who I’m beginning to believe more and more IS laly) and claiming she’s one her side and is the smart one. She proves to us how smart she is by totally ignoring the rules of grammar and making inane comments.
Me and Laly are two different people, and I’m pretty sure we’ve never even met in real life, so there. I’m sick of your comments, Lauren, and I’m pretty sure you’re not the Lauren that I know, because you’re acting like you hate Twilight, and the Lauren that I know is my best friend and she loves twilight, just like I do. Arkansas rules and me, Lauren, and Katie (best-friendship triangle) are starting 6th grade. Goodbye elememtary school, hello middle school. That is all, thank you.
You’re right, I’m not the Lauren you know in real life. It’s highly unlikely, as the name Lauren is one of the most popular names of the 1990’s/2000’s. I will however mention the highly ironic fact that I too, am from Arkansas. And that is probably the only thing we will ever agree on; Arkansas rules. You wouldn’t happen to be entering Fuller Middle School would you?
No, I’m not. I live in Little Rock, Arkansas. I’m not sure if you live there or in another city.
That’s where Fuller is. And yes, I do live there. Well, technically I live in Benton now, but only for the next few days until college starts again.
Do you have a little brother or sister that’s going there? If not, I fail to see why you wanted to know if I was going there. You can’t possibly be going there because you said “until college starts.”
My brother and I both went there. I just wanted to know what general area you were in. I didn’t expect you to tell me the actual city. Internet safety and all.
Hannah, why on earth would you have assumed that she was the Lauren you knew/ And, although I don’t live in Arkansas, I have a cousin and aunt who do and I visit once a year, in West Memphis.
On a further note, I am entering Dunbar Magnet Middle School. My parents wouldn’t let me go to a regular school, it had to be a Magnet School.
Joy. All I had to do was take AP/ Pre-AP classes through Junior and High School.
Wh…What? Why on earth would you say that in response to what I said?
OMG!!! IM IN GRADE 6!!!
but im eleven and not 12. . .
Go away, Laly. No one wants to hear your nonsense.
i have things to say:
J: whatever. . .
everybody else: AWESOME
and. . .
i dont care what u say, cuz i dont NEED to go away, but, i want u to just shaddup for once. (and everything will be fine)
I absolutely love your comebacks. “Whatever.” Such a classic! But I never said you needed to go away, I simply told you to go away. And I don’t see why I should ’shaddup’ if you don’t need to. Please explain.
You fail at life, people like you should have died due to natural selection, but nature failed. STFU. Really, I am 12 and it is really getting on my nerves when twitards like yourself for example, create a stereotype that every other teen girl is a stupid brainless shallow annoying rabid fan of Twilight. By the way I googled the following list (It’s 200 reasons to HATE Twilight) just to shove it in your face, I hope you feel as retardedly special as Bella (There is a special message at the end of the list, I hope you like it! Oh and get over E.C. already, he’s a fictional character, he stalks and is a pedophile).
1. Twilight is a disgrace to vampires;
2. Amount of Twilight flair;
3. Everyone is OBSESSED with a FICTIONAL character! GROW UP! People change their last names to “Cullen”, girls cat-fight over who Edward belongs to. HE DOES NOT EXIST!!
4. Bella Swan is the MOST FRUSTRATING character in the whole series;
5. Characters/plot are poorly written. Characters have NO personality whatsoever and the plot is WAAAYYY TO PREDICTABLE!!
6. Brainwashing people who are not strong-willed and easy-to-manipulate;
7. Contradiction of vampires;
8. Lamest love story (Edward likes Bella because she smells good);
9. Liking a person for being beautiful is nothing. Personality is 10x more important than looks in a relationship;
10. Bella teaches the readers to let “the man” handle everything;
11. Lack of creativity (Being a Chinese-born Australian, I’m fluent in English and can use longer words than SMeyer – adjective-wise);
12. The entire Twilight universe revolves around a whiny, selfish, self-centered, dependent girl with no ambition;
13. Bella cannot do anything by herself other than cook. Useless without her “Jacob” or “Edward”;
14. The amount of people who are being hurt (ditched/bashed/attempted to drown) for saying they do not like Twilight. PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT, THEREFORE THEY HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS;
15. People take the series waaayyy too seriously;
16. Changed the lives of people who follow it (girls break-up with their boyfriends because they are not “Edward Cullen” enough);
17. Downgrades good relationships;
18. NO meaning whatsoever (I can find so much more meaningful books/movies/music by Asian singers/bands/actors);
19. Little to no actual action for a “vampire” series;
20. Edward Cullen is a damn fairy not a manly “vampire”;
21. Carlisle, Edward & Jacob are pedophiles;
22. Scientific flaws (how can the undead have children?);
23. Twilight promotes the wrong things;
24. People only like the series as it gives them “hope” in finding their “Edward Cullen”;
25. People harass you for stating your opinion on it;
26. Twilight is the cause of world destruction;
27. The actors in the movie say it’s not a good series. I agree;
28. Twi-tards are becoming brainless zombies from reading and re-reading the series non-stop;
29. Bella treats everyone at her new school like shit but she treats vampire pedophiles with “kindness” and “respect”;
30. Bella = Damsel in Distress. Edward = Hero…happens all over again…
31. nuttymadam. Enough said.
32. The twi-moms who fucking BRAG about how they neglect their kids to read the series, and who bitch about their husbands for not being enough like a FICTIONAL CHARACTER.
33. No plot.
34. The assholes who ruin perfectly good songs because they “Remind them of Edward and Bella.”
35. Seriously, fucking nuttymadam.
36. For being “My Immortal” With spellcheck, and without lulz.
37. Because Breaking Dawn is poorly written fanfiction
38. because the Minor characters are often more interesting than the barely 2 Dimensional main charaters
39. The series is clearly unoriginal, and possibly plagiarised
40. it was turned into a poor POOR excuse of amovie that looked like it had been made by a 1st year film student. shame Hardwicke. Shame. I expect better from you.
41. Only one character got a shred of development throughtout the whole series: Jacob Black. However, Smeyer conditions the readers to hate Jacob because he isn’t Edward and she scraps his personality by the end of Breaking Dawn.
42. The story is written in four books when in reality it can be written in 2. It is only about Bella and Edward’s “Love”. It would of been much shorter if SMeyer stopped writing about how “perfect” and ‘beautiful” Edward is continuously;
43. The fact that Edward can’t read Bella’s mind is never fully explained but then again, Bella doesn’t have a mind;
44. SMeyers uses repetitive words such as “perfect” and “beautiful” well over 100 times altogether (56 times “perfect” in just the first book. I just took someone’s word for it. I didn’t count it);
45. Twi-tards will now compare their bfs with a fictional character;
46. Twilight products…dolls, boardgames… *puts earphones in ears*;
47. Twilight fan-fictions are everywhere where Edward is their imaginary boyfriend;
48. Every girl’s ideal man is someone who is handsome, can sparkle, is very obsessive, abusive, and creepy;
49. Twi-moms…no explanation needed;
50. It’s generally retarding humanity;
51. Bella & Edward are seen as role-models…Their relationship shows a bad example to young girls;
52. People only like it because they haven’t read any other vampire books;
53. Nobody wants to be themselves anymore. They all want to be Bella “the lucky one” and find their precious “Edward Cullen”;
54. We cannot express our opinions anymore. Free speech is only for Twi-tards;
55. Completely unoriginal and unrealistic yet people do not realize that;
56. Twi-tards cannot tell the difference between fiction and reality anymore;
57. Twilight is sexist. It teaches girls that they have to have a boyfriend who will save them from trouble and control their lives. Not to mention marraige and children by the time they’re nineteen.
58. Twilight also teaches girls that the only people worth their time are the pretty ones.
59. Renesmee a.k.a demon spawn
60. Twilight harms people. The more obsessed you become with it, the more hurt you’ll be (eg: The link I posted);
61. Twilight is NOT better than Harry Potter. Harry Potter characters have personality, people die quite often, there’s action etc…what does Twilight have? “Hot” sparkly gay vampire? Twilight has nothing of the above;
62. “Edward Cullen’ has destroyed the male gender (I’ve had three male best friends be broken up with from their girlfriends because they don’t treat them like “Edward Cullen” treats Bella);
63. The bitchiness of Twi-tards if you dis Robert Pattinson LOL (I have nothing against him. It’s just his fans who won’t shut up about him);
64. Twilight has shown Twi-tards that being a selfish, whiny and attention seeking-bitch is a likable quality in a girl…They’re the worst type of girls;
65. You can’t go into a bookshop anymore. Twi-tards rush in buy books and push in line so they get served first…You only need one copy of the series, not five copies;
66. Twilight/Edward Cullen/Robert Pattinson is not the only topic on the planet!!
67. People believe an imaginary person will fall for them. No one will fall in love with a selfish, whiny, self-obsessive, “I’m more beautiful than you” type person;
68. I have Rob’s “Official” MySpace…do I need to say more? (I have it for the purpose of mocking and annoying his fangirls LOL).
64. Twilight has shown Twi-tards that being a selfish, whiny and attention seeking-bitch is a likable quality in a girl…They’re the worst type of girls;…
…66. Twilight/Edward Cullen/Robert Pattinson is not the only topic on the planet!!
67. People believe an imaginary person will fall for them. No one will fall in love with a selfish, whiny, self-obsessive, “I’m more beautiful than you” type person;”
69. People compare Twilight characters to other character they haven’t even heard of before. Technically they compare everyone with Robert/Edward;
70. I had a test question with the names Bella and Edward…it’s getting out of control!! About distance…(New Moon);
71. The news now revolve around Twilight and the actors…I’ve heard enough already!! I haven’t watched the news since I watched the Twilight movie o.O;
72. The indecisiveness of each character is just frustrating;
73. I’m sure most of the people who fantasize about Twilight really wish that they were Bella so that they could screw the woman named Edward;
74. Everything happens for a reason but SMeyers never fully explains everything;
75. The “series” is aimed at teens…teens are following their “role models” into doing things that are considered forbidden by parents (if they have strict parents);
76. I don’t know if anyone has noticed from reading the books, she is how old? I spotted many mistakes…SMeyers couldn’t make up her mind when spelling the word blond/e…she used blonde then the next mention she used blond..;
77. The most obvious one, Twi-tard’s education is being downgraded as all they do is read and reread that they no longer know how to spell…They can’t even tell the difference between homonyms;
78. Bella is a Mary-Sue;
79. If a girl is seen with a “hot” guy, girls get overly jealous and start speaking loudly at how “they’re so beautiful and worthy of someone’s attention”;
80. There are many more books out on the planet that are 10x+ better than Twilight but people refuse to read those…
81. It may be aimed at teens but IT IS NOT A FAIRYTALE!!!
82. The life changing aspects of the series (I’m sure you know what I’m talking about);
83. Bella falls apart when her boyfriend leaves her, and can’t pull herself back together again until she finds another guy to be with. PATHETIC;
84. Bella’s instant popularity. If I ever met Bella, I’d slap her all the way from her to Zimbabwe for being a whiny brat;
85. People treat Twilight as their “God/Bible”…let alone a religion… It’s taking it’s toll on other religions;
86. What your parents say is not okay (like teenage pregnancy) is considered okay in Twilight;
87. Edward and Bella’s “love” is ’super special awesomely’ shallow;
88. Since when do vampires play baseball and have superpowers?
89. It promotes lazy writing, poor character development and shameless exploitation of a genre fan base built over centuries, by far better writing.
90. People ARE proud to be obsessed…The world is doomed as we know it;
91. Edward is an abusive stalker;
92. SMyeres likes Edward more than her own husband LOL;
93. The main three characters are flat, no personality, noobs and ARE NOT “HOT/SEXY”!!!
94. Twi-tards ONLY like it because they are madly obsessed with Edward Cullen…obsession and love are two completely different things;
95. Music industry is now ruined…At least I can listen to Chinese/Japanese/Korean music without any worries
96. Girls wanted to be a princess, ballerina, or a member of the Spice Girls in the past. Now, they want to be vampires..;
97. Twi-moms will now call their children Jacob, Bella or Edward…be more creative with names. Mia and Flora are better names than Bella! People with strange names were named by parents/relatives with creativity;
98. Bella shows a bad role model. She DOES NOT like the idea of going to college and because of that, Bella-Wannabes don’t want to go either. They just want a man who will control their every action, get married at 18 and fall pregnant by 19;
99. Twilight has ripped off the GOOD vampire books like Anne Rice. I’m reading a vampire book that is making fun of vampires but not in the same way SMyeres is! Doesn’t contradict vampires although this particular vampire doesn’t eat anything other than sweets LOL;
100. Bella always forgives Edward after all the abusive stuff he did. Honestly, he takes the engine out of her truck because he doesn’t want her to see Jacob? That’s controlling!!
101. Robert Pattinson is NOT “hot”. They would of never noticed him if he NEVER took the role of Edward Cullen. Was he this popular as Cedric Diggory? NOPE!!!
102. Twi-tards can’t tell the difference between the truth/fact or an opinion anymore;
103. The cacophonous wailing of fangirls every-time some Twilight related thing pops up;
104. Vampires will never be the same again;
105. Scientific flaws + fantasy = EPIC FAIL;
106. We have logical reasons to hate the series but nobody cares because we’re not talking about Edward Cullen/Robert Pattinson;
107. Even well known authors say it’s crap but people claim they’re just jealous because they’ve never had a best-seller;
108. People only like books for characters now. What happened to everything else that a WELL-WRITTEN book should contain?
109. Twi-tards need to learn to ANALYZE a book, not just like it for some really lame, “hot”, sparkly, gay fairy.
110. Smeyer basically broke her own rules about Meyerpires with Breaking Dawn.
111. Kristen Stewart only made like 3 faces throughout the entire movie.
112.STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW HOT EDWARD IS ON EVERY PAGE ALREADY MEYER! WE GET IT ALREADY!
113.The creepy merchandise. This includes lip venom and dare I say it, Barbie dolls…
114. The whole series was written so badly yet it has the power to influence girls in a bad psychological way.
115.I HATE YOU SO MUCH DADDY, I’M GONNA CALL YOU CHARLIE! What a brat…
116. The annoying obsessed fangirls who have a go at you for stating an opinion but have no intelligent reasons why you’re gay;
117. Twilight takes it toll in just about everything;
118.Bella is the worst imaginary role model I have ever read about;
119. I know so many more better actors who could of pulled off Edward Cullen that are “hotter” and more attractive than Robert yet because Edward is American, they’re not good enough;
120. Generally an American thing…most American shows always send bad messages through movies/series…(except perhaps NCIS, Heroes, Lie To Me. They’re the only ones that I have watched anyway).
121. what is with the glitter on the cheeks what when they go out in the sunlight glitter appears on the cheeks it looks like Edward ate a glitter pen or one exploded on him it is just the dumbest thing they could do i like the old way of vampires which is the burn in the daylight.
122. Who names there kid a combined name of both their parents? Your kid would be scared for life…
123. Bella isn’t even happy that she got a FREE truck!
124.You never even find out why Bella loves Edward…
125. We hate twilight because it’s incredibly fun to find reasons to hate it, and to watch the fans stutter
126. The lame speeches “You are my very own brand of heroine”…That just makes me sick;
127. Bella IS the younger version of SMeyers;
128. The uncreativity of names and adjectives;
129. It’s just a complete waste of time to read as it is;
130. It took away half my friends and relatives to stupidity!
131: Twilighters ignore real vampire stories which are written hundred times better than this crappy fanfiction.
132: Vampaneze and Vampires from Cirque Du Freak would kick the pussy sparkly asses’ butts in a few seconds.
133: I am sure there are other people here who can write decent stories hundred times better than SMeyer’s craps..Especially Matthew Ashworth’s epic tales.
134. Even real men like Rey Mysterio could own Edward with a single punch.
135. Bella is so spoilt by everyone yet she ONLY appreciates what Edward gives her after heated arguments and bribes;
136. NOTHING in the story actually makes any sense due to no explanation;
137. Everything to do with Twilight merchandise is SMeyers fault for creating the horrendous and brain-washing series in the first place;
138. It only got best-seller because she wrote about her “hot” & “perfect” man from her “dream”. Everyone’s dream man but it reality he doesn’t exist.
139. Twilight has downgraded the women gender;
140. Libraries…need I say more?
141. Shirts available at stores like Supre with ‘I kissed a vampire and I liked it’ on them and ‘I like boys who sparkle’.
142. Critiscizing girls for having a crush on a fictional character and being told that you are just jealous. And you are 24 years old!!!
142. I forgot which family it was but im pretty sure it was the cullens who survived the great depresion by owning a bank… the reason it happened was because the banks failed, and im a CANADIAN and i know that.
143. Bella USES jacob to fell good
144. now being a vampire is a good thing, when it’s actually horrible
145.this vampires don’t die with the wooden stick and don’t repusle on garlic
146. In my University lectures I get so annoyed at the fact the girls only talk about Twilgith/Robert/Edward instead of listening to the lectuer (They are so loud!!!) If they came to talk about irrelevant things, why bother coming to the lecture in the first place?
147. Both Bella and Edward are completely un-emotional. So that’s what relationships will be based on now, no real emotions and abuse;
148. Brain-washed girls in general who worship the book more than their own parents…that’s pretty bad!
149. Twilight is everywhere you go! Twilight is “big”. We get it already! Stop shoving it in our face!
150: Boring, cliched, plotless piece of drivel has destroyed the reputation of women’s writing and ruined the genre.
151: This is a fact…. Edward is not a vampire. So He is not shiney because h’s one. He is shiney because he wears body glitter. And that makes hime even less of a guy.
152. Vampire glitter is on the market.
153. Twilight pollutes the minds of young people (most notably, teenage girls). And to think people say “Children are our country’s future.” Scary thought having Twitards running our nation.
154. SMeyer pretty much wrote a public diary in which she expresses her thoughts & feelings of being sexually deprived. She wants a sparkling man, who is “manlier” than her hubby.
155. Loss of common sense.
156. Physical appearances much more important than a depth in personality.
157. It teaches girls that it’s perfectly okay to have a controlling & abusive boyfriend. Just forgive him, & everything will be quite alright.
158. The series is written BY a woman, yet it undermines/degrades the entire female population of the world, promoting the message that “women are weak, they can only survive by being rescued by a glittery marble chested douche of a man”.
159. All my best male friends can’t have steady relationships because of the Twilight craze so I’m their “relationship advisor”. It’s not bad but the amount of trouble they have in sorting things out is horrendous!
160. Stereotypical relationship: Girls go for “hot” looks and status and guys go for weak-willed, easy-to-dominate and “hot” girls.
161. I just don’t understand how a “vampire” can die without any physical action in any of the books;
162. Bella Swan is a skank because she can’t choose between Edward and Jacob;
163. Bella attempted to rape Edward and Jacob is a borderline rapist;
164. Everything Edward does is “out of love” for Bella…yeah right, more like abuse;
165. There is NO such thing as “perfect one” & “love at first sight”. 1/3 of all marriages end in divorce! Not all relationships are “ever-lasting/forever”;
166. Boring villains.
167. The most obvious one: SMeyers can’t write for shit! To write a book you should start research first!! It was just a dream!
168. To write a good book one requires to do research. SMeyers did not reaserach anything about vampires…she just woke up from a “wonderful” dream and began writing it on paper…
169. She didn’t research anything, because it seriously doesn’t rain that much in forks…
170. It brings down the genre… seriously so. I’d never even come close to labeling Twilight a ‘post-modern Gothic novel’.
171. It teeters on the verge of several literary categories, refusing to commit to any of them.
172. Bella has only been dating Edward for a couple of months by the second book, but goes into a “zombie state” as she describes it for half a year. Seriously, she should not be that attached to someone after that little amount of time.
173. Bella teaches schizophrenics to listen to that voice that talks to them in their head
174. HOw can people claim it as the “ultimate love story?” Have they read other books?
175. Bella is the MOST USELESS protagonist ever! How can she be a protagonist if she doesn’t do anything useful?
176. It’s a ripoff. It IS. But quite a crap one.
177. Is is not a love story. Its pedophilia and stereotypical! If you want an interesting love story to watch try Boys Over Flowers.
178. It’s SOOOOO overrated for something sooooo poorly written;
179. The usage of a “plain” girl in a love triangle;
180. Bad actors…Kristen and Robert made the movie more depressing than the book;
181. It made me lose faith in both humanity and literature;
182. The pure existence of something so foul that has the power to brain-wash people;
183. Shopping centres…I’m sure you all know what I mean;
184. The top English student in any English class in English-speaking countries could probably write better than her;
185. If you want to become a professional writer, at least start writing smaller stories to get you started with ideas…What does she do? Write it straight away without research.
186. Brazil is on the EAST coast not the West.
187.Alice hands a guard “a thousand dollar bill”. There is no thousand dollar bill in American currency or in Euros.
188.Extra chromosomes cause mental retardation and birth defects, not shapeshifting.
189.Washington State Truancy Laws – They would not have permitted the Cullens to skip school on every sunny day, no matter what kind of students they were.
190.Blood Typing Permission – It would be illegal in most places for schools to do the blood typing experiment from Twilight without parental permission.
191.Not Born to Be Wild – It is illegal to ride a motorcycle without a license. In Washington, one must undergo a special course to get that license, which Bella did not.
192.The Quileutes are an actual tribe with a real history, folklore and culture. Meyer, of course, does not respect this at all. It doesn’t matter, I suppose, since Native Americans are used to having their cultures abused and appropriated by ignorant people like Meyer.
193. Forks, Washington is not actually the rainiest place in America.
194.Isle Esme is located many miles off the west coast of Brazil. This is stange considering the west coast is the only coast that Brazil does not have.
195.Further adding to the unfortunate implications of the books’ good consisting of mostly white people (with other races a bit uncomfortably seen as less controlled) is the fact that a number of villains seen throughout the series are non-white or portrayed as such in the movie version.
196.The Native Americans are portrayed as poor: Jacob has a tiny house, with peeling paint, that looks like a barn; Jacob fursplodes at Paul, wrecking his shoes, and someone comments that that’s the last pair he can afford. When Paul is at his house, Jacob freaks, because Paul is eating all of the food and they can’t afford to feed him. Meanwhile the Cullens honeymoon on their private island, live in their giant white mansion, and give the werewolves their old clothes.
197.An ancient and proud people with a rich and varied mythological history, who were turned into convenient exotic plot points for Stephenie Meyer’s travesty. The Quileute people in her books are described as bestial, and worse, poor. Their legends are replaced with babbling pap that is about as true to the Quileute as the snarling old gypsy in ‘The Wolf Man’ is to actual Roma.
Of course, Stephenie Meyer does not care that fictionalizing an actual race of people into pedowolves may be considered insulting. Or turning them into stereotypes.
198.Her books have been critisized for their purple prose, anti-feminist themes/sexism, racism, glorification of pedophilia and abuse, and her horrible mistreatment of science.
199.It’s in THE Category: Books which can cause brain damage
200.Jacob in Twilight, he is a cheerful, sweet young boy who Bella manipulates into talking about the Cullen family. She feels no remorse about this, even after learning that talking about the Cullens is seriously forbidden by the Quileutes, and that Jacob could get into real trouble for revealing this information to her.
Plus there is another 800+ reasons floating around out there, so in total Twilight REALLY REALLY FAILS EPICALLY, of course if you have read this far and your non existent brain hasn’t exploded.
Entertaining as that was, next time just post the link for something so long – you don’t have to c&p the whole thing.
Actually the list consists of fragments of many other lists, so there is no link. I might add it to my site though!
Edward Cullen is not a vampire.
He’s a sparkly faggot.
According to Meyer, that IS a vampire! Isn’t this exciting?!
ONE thing im curious about. . . .
wy cant we all just say nice things to eachother for once?
Seriously. that includes you J and lauren.
One thing I’m curious about…
Why don’t people get that if they want everyone to say nice things to each other, they also has to say nice things?
Seriously. That includes you, Laly and Hannah.
I believe you initated the less than nice posts by telling the non fans where to get off for not liking Twilight. If we answer in kind, you have no buisness telling us to play nice.
Who is J and Lauren?
But, I kind of agree with that even though I have nothing to do with this.
I am J, and Lauren is someone else here on the board. But, although I understand what Laly is saying, I would like to add that because you have probably not read all of her posts, you wouldn’t realize what a hypocrite Laly is by saying that.
I was not supporing anyone. I’m just saying that J should not call you a hypocrite.
Explain to me why I shouldn’t call her a hypocrite. Really, tell me, because I don’t see why not.
BECAUSE it is really noy nice and you should know that. I am thirty five and i have no iedea what you are, i know that you can be very hurtful to a young person. You should know that J at the age of 14, and you Lauren. ESPECIALLY at the age of eighteen.
So being called such names at 14 or 18 or ANY age isn’t hurtful? I was called a “bully”, “MEAN CRUEL ASTONISHINGLY ANNOYING”, ect. If she can’t handle mean things being said to her, she shouldn’t start saying mean things in the first place. We were willing to play nice, but she wanted to play hardball and now she has to deal with those consequences or cry for an adult to come help her. You’re not doing her any favors by stepping in on a situation that would make any normal person shrug it off and move on with thier lives. If she can’t handle being on the Internet all by herself, she probably shoudn’t be using it in the first place. We aren’t the ones who need to grow up here.
So, I’m just supposed to take everyone’s crap because I’m more mature than them? No, thank you. And, regardless, she is still a hypocrite.
See, Bob, the funny thing about the internet is that its not much different from reality. If you’re going to act like a disrespectful brat such as Laly has, people are going to be hard pressed to act civilly.
And age is no excuse for such behaviour. My nine year-old cousin behaves better than Laly does and he suffers from Asperger’s!
thnx By hthe
Literally, thanx bob for whatever youve done, but anyway, bob, when is it im visiting you in sydney?
In October. Remember?
oh thats right. in sydney im visiting u then. October. . .
Now I’m thinking that not only is Laly Hannah, but Laly is also Bob.
i diddnt make my account. bob did
sfasfasd
that was a rally dumb responce. u retardicle.
Did you really just call someone dumb, and in the same comment spelled really and response wrong? And used the word retardicle?
Hannah, my cup of pity overrunneth on you, and your parents. Read every book in a series before you dispute events which have taken place in a fictional story, or thou shalt look like a giant dumb ass.
Laly, use not your age as an excuse in a battle of wits. An acceptable excuse would be your inferior intelligence, or your lack of necessary butt kickery. Learn from this and go forth in your completion of a B.A. in English, in exactly 10 years.
So I have written, so shall it be.
Retardicle? Really? I twitch my whiskers in disappointment and relegate you to the minions of Basement Cat.
My night has been made. ALL HAIL CEILING CAT!
Ceiling Cat, will you marry me?
cool story everyone… one day i shall photoshop edward burning with the sunlight
hahaha, can i have the link once you do it?
Now that I have thought about it for a while, I think that Edward Cullen is a sex offender. Ninety-something-year-old sparkly vampires who are attracted to people based on their smell shouldn’t be in high school.
I was just wondering how do vampires actually have sex without any blood flowing in their bodies?