Wile E. Coyote’s Budget
Wile E. Coyote’s Budget
See more classic cartoons like Speedy Gonzales on Once Upon A Win
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The medical bills portion is too small.
Under my plan, this individual will see a reduction of at LEAST 67% in the cost of his medical care.
But mr president, does this force consumers to enroll in government run healthcare?
The medical care program, disability, and retirement fund demanded by the cartoon actor’s unionization is what forced the dissolution of Warner Brothers Cartoon Studios.
WIN.
Fear not. As part of my Cartoon Studio Revitalization Program, we have provided up to $16 billion dollars and the government is now a 62% shareholder in the Warner Brothers Cartoon Studios.
As part of this plan, the Warners will be divesting themselves of Dot Warner, leaving Yakko and Wacko was the two stronger siblings to stand on their own. The Good Feathers will be folded, partially do to their historical ties to organized crime. We will allow Slappy Squirrel to die of old age, and Mindy will be adopted by a Bob Saget.
The 401k funded with AAA studio bonds, retirement fund and medical benefits are now unfunded vapors. The union is not enforcing trash can assignments for members looking for fish bones. Cartoon Network doesn’t even have bit parts available on Squidbillies. Yosemite Sam is on insulin and oxygen, Daffy has Parkinson’s, Speedy needs new hips and knees, and the rest of the retirees aren’t much better.
I maintain that the employees of Warner Studios should have been permitted to invest their retirement funds as they wish, either in the open market or a simple cash fund of their choosing, rather than have the allocation of those funds dictated to them. Folks, this is not communist Cuba.
Yosemite Sam knew the dangers of growing a mustache like that; we learned this from Wilfred Brimley, so he should have responsibility for his own actions.
As for Speedy Gonzales, if that is his actual identity, have we verified that he is even in the country legally? To me, he is clearly on some sort of drug as his hyperactivity is typical of a cocaine user (and I know something about drug use). Perhaps we should check his green card before we talk about what treatment he is entitled to.
In regard to the Squidbillies, shouldn’t they, under the 1st amendment, be allow to exclude anyone they wish from their show? Whether you agree with what they say or not, they should not be forced to include other characters that they do not agree with on their show. Our Constitution and says as much and the Supreme Court has agreed.
The 401k was converted by the fund managers, who were board members, from the original regulated mutual funds to company bonds with a promise of improved growth, stability, and dividends. The proceeds were used to lay off writers, cluelessly overpay for failed overseas studios, and for board member’s lawyers, auditors, bonuses, drugs, and hookers.
Sam, Speedy and all of the others worked long and hard in arduous and hazardous environments and most of their injuries are work related conditions that were supposed to be covered by their sizable dues and pay deductions. Company matching funds are gone and the fund is dwindling rapidly. Nationality and residency are not issues with a privately funded benefit.
Residuals from licensing and continued use of their name, images, performances, and reissues of performances on new technology media were transferred to the Cartoon Network after the bankruptcy was used to invalidate all contracts, obligations, and agreements. I only use Squidbillies as an example of an undeserving someone that used the sweat equity of others to grow and profit without tribute to their true foundation and history. The Cartoon Network wouldn’t look like it had been hijacked by camcorder toting junior high snots if it would study and apply the teachings of the masters of its foundation. The need to remember that they set the standards and to maintain a superior status they have to produce a superior product. They can’t just try to match the dreck that competed with them. Their upstart competition is now the leader in sales, quality, and customer good will.
Ken Burns’ most recent tribute shows their previous glory and their current sad condition. They were performing on a rigged stage at a ComicCon and taking hits from shotguns, dynamite, rockets, and falling anvils for enough money to pay for travel, food, lodging, and pain relievers. The photo and autograph sessions after the performance, next to the Playmate centerfolds of 30 years ago, let you see how much they have deteriorated with age. Everything they know, love, and own is now in a used passenger van and UHaul truck as they gypsy from gig to gig. They setup, perform, and repack because they love to, and have to because it’s the only thing they know.
This is the unfortunate legacy of 8 years of rule by my predecessor. The recent influx of anime shows on Adult Swim, shows such as Inu Yasha and Shin Chan have simply put too many good Americans, such as the crew of Sealab 2021 out of work. You can see, however, that my plans are working, with the recent signing of Futurama for additional new episodes on Comedy Central.
As for Speedy Gonzales, while he did enter the country illegally, he is actually my uncle and has been living in a Boston area public housing project. I can assure all those reading that while I believe him to be a productive member of our society, I will not interfere with the current INS proceedings.
Speedy Gonzales was born in Kansas City, Kansas and has returned there from Boston to be surrounded by protective family members. He was discovered by Warner Brothers while working as a Boy Scout Camp Counselor at Philmont. Speedy was reported to the INS as a diversion by the lawyers of the HMO in charge of denying his health care. Arguing lifetime maximum benefits, and quality of life .vs. cost/benefit analysis delays treatment until death makes the point moot and the insurance company wins. Benefits not paid are profits for private insurers.
Excellent!!
Good graph. The Acme budget must be huge, but the medical bills budget must be huger.
That’s AWESOME. XD
I feel bad for the coyote. The roadrunner is a smug asshole.
The coyote is pretty smug too.
“I like the way that rolls out, Wile E. Coyote, suuuper genius” (pronounced coy-o-tay)
Awesome, best I’ve seen lately.
On Cheers, Woody once said: “If he had all that money to buy all that equipment… why didn’t he just buy some FOOD?”
XD
First graph to make me actually GIGGLE in a long time.
Oh, the tiny umbrellas!
When my son was about six he asked me why Wiley didn’t just use his money to go eat at a diner. LOL
Win.
Stupid graph. Medical treatment is free in all civilized countries in the world.
it’s only free if you ignore all those pesky bills they send you.
They can only send bills if you give them your real name.
I had to show a photo ID at the doctors office and they had to copy it and submit it with their records for insurance claims, big mouth!
What bills? Like I said, it’s free in all civilized countries in the world.
“Free” health care… yeah that’s a good one. I guess you can tell yourself anything you like to get to sleep at night. And Obama will be touting his latest “health care” disaster in my home state today…
you know, forget it. I’m off to watch the Cartoon Network.
Ok, by ‘free’ I obviously mean ‘funded by the state, available to all without question’. It seems the US is unique amongst developed nations in not having this.
Bad idea, 60% of the shows on it are pretty bad. Try Boomerange (or something, I forgot how to spell it), it has the classics.
yeah switch off fox news and watch the cartoon network, swap one false reality for another.
So can you explain to me why I had to write a check to my doctor yesterday?
If it is free, who is paying the doctors?
If you had to write a ‘check’ to your doctor, then I guess you don’t live in a civilized country.
…because civilized countries have no commerce system? Is that why you say it is “free”? (not taking into account that it is paid for through higher taxes)
The US is not a Socialist Country. We don’t want “Free Health Care.” This is a democracy founded on Capitalism. This is why we have Canadians coming over the boarder to get health care. No Waiting lists.
He’s right, eh