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Someone needs to meet new women.
Yeah, anybody that snippy won’t have a boyfriend for long. And needs serious communication lessons.
Alabamy. This chart totally needs a slice for “She’s a total redneck.”
That would doubtlessly make it more amusing.
I do not know any woman that say “It don’t matter”, all the women I know can speak properly.
Came here to say this. I see I am not needed. Thank you
thirded.
lol. gansta talk = pwned
Fourthed
Fifthed, Quintupled.
Sixthed, sextupled. Oh there I go again talking dirty.
Seventhed, heptupled.
(n+1)thed
No need to nest further.
i approve.
Seconded.
I agree. If they’re going to post something that is supposed to be factual they should at least use proper wordage.
It don’t matter should be It doesn’t matter.
OH! Is THAT what the proper grammatical structure should be?! Thanks, Darleen!
What it means when a woman says “It don’t matter” – it means you should be dating someone who finished grade school and actually applies what was taught.
Word up
means*
what it really means is duck.
Um. That’s kind of offensive. This graph should be called something more like “What an absurd, mind game playing, attention whore means when she says ‘it doesn’t matter’.
Name fail.
How would that be any different than the graph’s current title?
Misogyny win!
You call a woman a whore and you’re complaining about somebody else being offensive? Take a look in the mirror or doesn’t it matter to you.
you missed the point of the post, darleen. what Brilliance meant was that there aren’t many women who fit correctly into the graph, so it should be retitled to accurately portray only the subset which Brilliance clarifies. dumb whore.
ps – attention whore != whore
Erm…actually attention whore is a subset of a larger group known as “whore”. Whereas in most common usage, yes “whore” refers to the definition of one who engages in sexual activities while also usually omitting the monetary compensation that goes with it (which is technically a slut). An attention whore would be designated to the definition classifying “whore” – A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain. which is still a whore, the gain merely refers to attention.
For further explanation, see Paris Hilton.
win
make a graph about it
what she says when she says “it don’t matter”? “I talk like a retard”
“Me talk like retard…Me no think good”
It don’t matter, me no need tink lots, me uhh… DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
As a woman I would have to agree that this is VERY true. And when a dude reacts by believing that it really doesn’t matter, we just get pissed off even more
You’re the reason women can’t break through the glass ceiling.
Never procreate.
People who have glass ceilings shouldn’t procreate.
I could not have said it better myself. Bravo. (claps)
Keep you clap to yourself.
or throw stones, in an upward sort of direction..
This would have been great advice for your mother.
Why? Because I think mind games are petty and ridiculous, and I hope this poster never has the opportunity to teach her children that it’s okay to act the twat?
The level of cheering on manipulative emotional practices in this graph lol disturbs me…
Seconded. Nth.
No, it’s because you sound like an 18 year old girl who just got home from her first Women’s Studies class at the local community college. You’d probably come off as slightly more intelligent if you dialed back on the smugness and moral superiority.
Passive aggressive manipulation isn’t a gender specific trait BTW.
Are you able to refute his point?
You’d come off as less of a bitch if you were blowing me.
Just sayin’
Actually it’s more becuase of men like you who think women are always up to something. Besides how would you feel with a woman boss? If you have that much anger at a woman you don’t even know on the internet if you saw the same one each day and she told you what to do how could you handle it. Wake up.
Comprehension of the problem fail…
I have a woman “boss” and she’s not a passive aggressive bitch.
Any more silly observations, or do you wanna say: “it don’t matter” with a little pursed lip chicken-nekkin emPHAsis?
As a woman, I say this is not true for all women, and I’ve seen it be true of some men.
I make an effort to say what I mean. It gets better results. Because, you know, people can actually understand what you’re telling them…
Thank you, we men appreciate the honesty.
As a woman, I appreciate you not interpreting that post as a direct attack. I’ve met a lot of people who would do just that. WIN. And thank you to slupine for such an honest post.
Yet I’ll bet you maintain that a relationship needs honesty, trust, and communication to work.
Ya know, I think you just kicked the crap out of me in the direct yet properly pointed comment category. Damn, that was great.
In one. ANY adult relationship.
I agree, that’s so true! I don’t care what the rest of you guys say, it’s true.
Oh, hold on… Damn me and my dirty mind.. :p
that went in the wrong place
Fail..
***(Secret Message to All Girls: One of the Enemy has cracked the code. Now he must die.)***
Eeeek!
Sadly, this comment was much, much funnier than the graph.
I think the most hilarious part of this graph is how many comments it’s brought. Kids, it’s a sterotype. Treat it as such.
Actually i’d say the ‘wants to be left alone for a bit’ wedge should be bigger…
I think more than “I hate you” it really means “of course it matters you idiot, if it didn’t, we wouldn’t be talking about it, but I want to be angry right now, so I am going to say that it doesn’t matter and get angry at you for dropping the subject.”
Coming from a woman, that is.
“i like word games and sarcasm because i cannot communicate properly and have to say the opposite thing to convey what i mean, i r smarts”, i strongly suggest you don’t have children, p.s your kind are why relationships fail
you obviously have never had a meaningful relationship with a woman for any length of time
I’ve had one for ten years, does that count? If you want something, say it. We shouldn’t have to play a twisted mind game to puzzle out your meaning so you can feel superior over being unable to communicate effectively.
The sad thing is that you think being manipulative is an essential female trait in a relationship. It’s actually rather creepy and makes me glad I lucked out and Lynn outgrew that.
just because my girlfriend isn’t immature and actualy TELLS me what she feels and we work problems out, Yeah, not a meaningful relationship there. i mean if it was really your ideal of a meaningful relationship we’d have to keep everything from each other and say “its doesnt matter, nvm, idk” because were not close enough to explain and work through any problems
P.S you shouldn’t procreate either
W.I.N.!!!!!!
This must be written by some eleventeen-year old in their first relationship
Oh, it do matter.
Heh, good graph. Another thing it means is “don’t worry about it, dear. Even now I am plotting my revenge.” At least when I say it.
I’ve never said that….I have, however, said “It DOESN’T matter.” And yes, it usually means something terrible is going on inside my head
In response to the support of mind games.
Ladies, if you have to pretend there is something mysterious about you, it is just an admission that you are shallow. As a human, I ask you what is to be gained by playing these games? What logical conclusion is supported by this practice? Would you like it done to you? Does it do anything but exhibit a selfish desire and an acknowledgement that you don’t care about your partner?
Seriously now, out of spite, I’ve played these mind games right back. Not a single one of the women appreciated being the butt of that emotional joke.
So why do it? It only delays anything you are after. It only breeds resentment in any thinking man you are with. If anything, the cliche’ is why a lot of women are dateless. We don’t trust you and from what I am reading here, the majority of responses are the reason why.
/rant
It’s not really a mind game, and if you think it even borders on something so complex than you are a simple person. I don’t mean stupid, I mean simple which, while not necessarily bad, would preclude you being in a relationship with a complex communicator anyway. So it’s really not something you need be concerned about.
There is no universal definition for phrases used in disagreements for either gender; these meanings must be discerned on an individual by individual basis. Learning how your partner communicates is one of the most important bonding events of any relationship, and should never be disregarded as your partner not communicating correctly or directly, or “playing games”. All communication has layers of meaning, but some people imply more than others. This is merely a communication style, and it is not meant to mislead or obscure the facts at all.
So in answer to your question, there is nothing to be gained by “mind games.” But that’s not what is going on when someone says something and implies a different meaning. The issue is a simple difference of communication styles.
You seem to be belaboring under the impression that I don’t understand the communication style. I do and I have used it before. I still use it from time to time, despite all intentions.
I’ve also learned how women communicate by growing up around them, living with them, working with them, and being in love with them. They don’t want to admit what is wrong because they want you to prove that you love them by figuring it out. It is that constant test that is frustrating to a logical mind.
You’ve also purposely ignored the rest of the responses here. Lynn and slupine are examples of women who understand what the problem lies within. You’ve also ignored the tone and inflection of the other posters here who pretty much applaud the idea of willfully withholding information and then getting mad when it isn’t puzzled out.
It isn’t a matter of miscommunication, it is a direct example of passive aggressive behavior.
So perhaps, you are not picking up the subtles of the problem and instead are going with the everybody is different ideal. It is quaint but not what I am talking about.
When you speak to somebody and they don’t understand, do you intend to get mad because you didn’t convey your idea? Why punish them for your mistake?
So while I won’t call you stupid, I will call you deluded as you purposely ignored the point as well as the counterevidence to your claim. Especially, since I never said women were complex, I said they played at being so. Women are just as simple as men.
Instead of calling men simple, how about as a person, stop obfuscating your meaning and be direct. Being an ineffective communicator isn’t a symbol of being complex, it is a symbol of being an ineffective communicator.
Damn, some typo fails in there…
Though some of your points are valid, I can’t help but sense a sort of hatred behind your words. You seem to be typecasting all women as being these deviant, manipulative, beings who enjoy nothing more than reveling in the suffering and confusion of their mates.
This is true for some women as it is true for some men. Some people are just inherently more manipulative and petty than others.
I’m a woman, and I’ve never said “it doesn’t matter” to someone i was in a relationship with unless A. it legimimately didn’t matter, or B. I was simply sick of arguing the point and wanted a change of topic.
Of course I’ve always had an incredibly difficult time understanding implications and inferences made by other people in conversation. As a result, I consciously try to make my intentions and meaning very clear.
But in the end, all women saying “it doesn’t matter” when they’re upset instead of relaying their emotions more clearly is nothing more than a stereotype. Of course all stereotypes have at least some basis in truth and there are quite a few women who do revert to that.
But please, take a deep breath and don’t take your paranoia and misguided assumptions out on all of use.
us* not use*
Maybe I’m not reading enough into what DWN but I don’t think his original statement was directed at all women. He specifies that any woman who thinks that playing mind games makes them mysterious and not petulant and childish is sadly mistaken. His response is more directed at the multiple women who have responded to this saying that there’s nothing wrong with intentionally mis-informing a man and then getting angry with them for not understanding their intentions. I don’t think he ever specified his comments toward all women.
This is the correction assumption, thank you. I also made a point to thank slurpine for her response as she admitted, as I admitted, to being passive aggressive but is working on it.
I have hatred for mind games, not women. I loves women. Emotionally, I have more in common with them than I do my fellow man. Hell, the places I work (customer service) have a high population of women so I have to be at least comfortable around them to some degree.
Also, see the first line of my initial rant. Apparently a lot of people aren’t catching it.
i agree with paul, he was only directing his accusations of immaturity at manipulative women from what i gather
I admit. I have been one of the women in this graph.
Although in other situations I really mean it.
However I only ever say this when after trying to state my point that it is bothering me, and not going anywhere, I will give up and say “Fine. Whatever. It doesn’t matter.” when it does.
I don’t see it as a mind game when I say it. Its more in defeat. And to be honest, when women -say- “It doesn’t matter” it really depends on the TONE. Sorry guys, women tend to be more about nonverbal communication, its the way we’re designed I think.
That’s generally what it is when I do it. It’s not so much “Ha, ha, now you must figure out that it does matter even though I said it doesn’t” as “It’s pretty clear that fighting about this isn’t going to change anything and I’d rather just accept things as they are than continue fighting for no good reason.”
And I agree about the tone. When I’m using it that way it’s definitely in a very different tone than when it genuinely doesn’t matter to me (not to mention, when it actually doesn’t matter, that’s the first thing I say, but when I’m just trying to drop the subject, it’s after we’ve been arguing for a while and I’ve made my opinion clear.)
Oh, and I also sometimes use it to mean, “It matters only slightly to me, and you say it matters much more to you, so I’m willing to go along with what you want.” If I then see evidence that it doesn’t actually matter to you as much as you said, I will bring it up again, though, which might make it *look* like I was being insincere. In fact, I am sincere about dropping it if it *actually* matters a lot to you, but if your actions don’t indicate that it matters as much as you claimed it does, then I feel like it should be open to debate again.
Bionelly thinks she’s he center of the universe here at GraphJam. Everything’s about her/it
Kick a@@ DWN! Fu(king passive aggressive game players need to realize they are destroying all credibility within a relationship. I don’t care what gender your are — speak your mind, or be ignored for the idiot you are.
Um, excuse me? Where on earth is *that* coming from?
I don’t know about FyreWytch, but I didn’t really think you were talking about me. I just responded there because she was talking about using it in exactly the same way I do, and then I responded to myself because I wanted both of my posts to be together. So no worries, DWN.
Just figured I would cover my bases as a number of people didn’t read the first line of my initial rant and took things personally.
Glad we’re cool. XD
Little things don’t matter..
But you can still easily become upset by them. You can say “It doesn’t matter” angrily but also realizing that it really… doesn’t matter. O.o
For example, I was going out to lunch with my boyfriend and he decided to invite his brother and sister-in-law. They also decided we were going to walk the mile and a half to lunch. I was in new shoes.
In hindsight, it really didn’t matter that he decided all of this, I like his brother and sister-in-law.. but I was angry he didn’t consult me for any of this decision making. So my “It doesn’t matter, hon..” was bitter sounding, but in reality, it didn’t matter.
Paul had me figured out. Worry not, from your statement here, you are the exactly the kind of woman I am NOT talking about. Please continue being awesome and raise a lot of kids. We need more honest people in the world.
Actually, I never suggested that you didn’t understand, but that your communication style might differ. I also “purposefully ignored” the other responses because I chose to respond to you, and not them, so they were irrelevant. You spoke to all the ladies who responded in general terms, when none of them stated the same reason for using the phrase “it doesn’t matter,” to which I responded that rather than assuming that each of the “ladies” was purposefully playing a mind game, you should consider that they are simply communicating different things by using the same phrase because they ARE different, not because they want to be misleading or “play games”.
Notwithstanding your vast experience with communicating with women, it is not fair to assume that they (or anyone) all mean the same thing when using the same phrase. Several women have stated that what they mean when they say “It doesn’t matter” is “I don’t want to talk about it,” and various other interpretations aside from “I’m not going to tell you because I want you to figure it out for yourself and in doing so prove that you care.” This automatically contradicts your experience.
I didn’t have to read many of the comments before it became obvious that not everyone who doesn’t exactly mean “It doesn’t matter” when they say it is willfully withholding information so that they can get angry when they are misunderstood. Actually, I only saw one post stating this, so perhaps you should have addressed that person directly. This example might in fact be passive-aggressive, yes–but what about the person who said she means “I just don’t want to talk about it anymore” or the person who stated she says it in order to spare her partner’s feelings and get some space to calm down and think rationally first? Would you call them passive-aggressive?
I would like to point out that I never said “women are complex, men are simple.” I think there’s a pretty even mix of communication styles between genders. I spoke of people in the general sense. If it would soothe your ego and/or clear things up for you, replace the word “simple” in my original post with “straightforward.”
I do not believe all communication must be be simple and straightforward, especially in an intimate setting, and it is perfectly acceptable to say one thing and mean another if you are consistent about it. After all, if all communication was given at face value there would be no such thing as irony, innuendo, or subtlety.
Finally… please do not harangue me on subtleties unless you can at the very least acknowledge the obvious. One person said she purposefully misled her partner so she could be angry when he misunderstood. That is ineffective communication, and possibly passive-aggressive behavior. Yet you accused all indirect communication of same, and all ladies who said they said one thing and meant another as guilty of the same crime as the one.
Oh, edit: TWO people commented that they purposefully mislead so they can be angrier after they’re misunderstood.
Glad he is an ex. Men like that need a stiff beating as they make the rest of us look bad.
The important line you missed from the very beginning of my rant. The line that makes this entire conversation with you irrelevant as it was not addressing all women. Presenting the obvious line:
“In response to the support of mind games.”
Thank you and I apologize for not pointing that out sooner. Sorry you missed the obvious before posting.
I didn’t say you were referring to all women. Also, since no one ever stated support of mind games, it was never really obvious who you were ranting about to begin with… your address was directed at “Ladies”, which is strange since it’s now clear you had specific people in mind. I would have assumed anyone ranting at specific people would have either addressed them by name or at least placed their comment/s in reply to said people, rather than as a standalone remark. I would nest an insult in here, but to me you look foolish enough already.
DWM: Bite me.
I see you put a lot of thought into that.
Of course she did. But it is okay, she isn’t mad because it “doesn’t matter.”
lol
It don’t matter = black lady most of the time.
heh! and our not!
Doh! another one bites the dust!
*wanders off singing ‘White and Nerdy’*
If it said “it doesn’t matter” it’d be a funny graph…
omg people relax it was only a joke I’m sure no one intended it to be offensive. I bet if it was a joke about men and how lazy they are everyone would be laughing and agreeing.
Why am I even bothering? Get over yourself and enjoy life and the people in it. Cus who know’s what tomorrow will bring.
Sometimes it is better to avoid immediate discussion by saying something like this than to say something hurtful that you likely don’t mean and will regret later. Based on my own experiences, often a response like this is less about being “manipulative” or “playing mind games” than it is about trying not to hurt someone’s feelings when you are really angry. When I have said similar things in the past, often I just need time to cool off, think about the situation rationally, and then discuss it with my partner. Saying “It doesn’t matter” would be better translated as “I don’t want to talk about it right now”, while avoiding the implication that you are angry and leaving your partner worried and wondering, which would be more of a “mind game”.
Green slice is way too big.
I don’t know. Sometimes I mean that it doesn’t matter, and I really don’t want it to matter, but I can’t help that it does matter and while I really try my best not to let it get to me, it eats away at me. It isn’t a mind game. Its just that I don’t always make sense.
I’m sure that goes for most people.
You’re much more self-aware than average.
In my experience, it’s not just women who can’t say what they actually mean. Not only do people say things they don’t mean, they also expect you to read body language and understand some unwritten social rules and whatever. Furthermore, they tend to have a problem with people who do say what they mean.
But hey, if you failed to communicate properly, then I am not at fault. And if you have a permanent problem with the truth I can just write you off as a moron and ignore you in the future.
Passive aggressiveness is a problem many suffer and it is not gender specific. Unfortunately my experience has more women than men playing the angle but that is just personal experience.
Yeah, I tend to divide people, not into men and women, but idiots and non-idiots.
It’s a good idea to date your own species; not BOZO sapiens.
…she should have been more attentive while in school?
PHAIL
I’ve said “It doesn’t matter” plenty of times, but never in the way the graph implies. I usually end up saying it (or “never mind” or “it’s nothing”) after I ramble on for a minute or so about absolutely nothing and am then asked what I said. I say that it’s nothing because it really is.
That just makes you awesome and unfairly targeted by the LOL.
Where’s the slice for “She might be a redneck?”
As someone born female, I will add my 2c here by saying this: EVERYONE has done this at some point in their life, saying “Oh it doesn’t matter” when to you, it truly does and you feel hurt. It doesn’t matter what set of privates you were born with.
The person that made this chart must have been feeling some sort of angst (most likely of the teenage variety) towards women. I personally, and almost no one I’ve ever known, has used “It doesn’t matter” when they’re still hurt as a manipulative measure — they use it because they’re tired of the conversation and they want it dropped before anything further gets said to hurt them worse. Sometimes things just need a break before they can get properly worked out. Fact of life, kids. Gender is 100% irrelevant. Yes, honesty in conversations helps, but it doesn’t always work when all parties involved aren’t on board.
By the way, the one person I’ve known to say things like this to manipulate others was a male friend of mine; he also liked telling others they weren’t as “honest” as he was.
Read that how you will.
I will say.. she means…”Go f**k your selves..” or may be “Go to hell”, or “you piss me off all the time baby,,,learn something and come back….” haha
What a woman means when she says “It don’t matter”: She means she never passed 3rd grade English.
Despite typos, the graph is 110% true…
Im pretty sure when people say “it doesn’t matter” to me… im f-ing hating on them at that point
Every women I ever met says that phrase at some point or another. It doesn’t mean anything more than she loves you very much and is displeased with you at this moment. It wears off very quickly and life continues.
Why is it that when someone actually puts things truthfully in a humorous light the people who the humor is most about launches an attack? Oh wait I answered my own question lol.
It dose not matter
1 – if she was going to do something for you and you refused it then its just simply it dont matter
2 – if she brought you someting and you did not want it and told her to take it back cuase it was exspensive then it becomes a – ouch – and you have upset her
3 – you was going to do someting but could not make it or did not want to go 1st time it dose not matter and means nothing 2nd time it dose not matter maybe next time 3rd time in a row you are stepin on thin ice
and she will detach herself if it happens again
4 – you both had a small row – it dose not matter end of argument before you piss me off
5 – women are complicated