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Wanted a cushy job teaching at a University, maybe???
Please, tell me where those cushy uni jobs are!!
please tell me too!
Because you have panic attacks when you have to face the “real world”?
Now where is mother….
seriously. i think snooze button on life is a much more prevalent reason than getting to call yourself doctor.
Obviously you have never met a PhD student if you think the “real world” gives them panic attacks. I assure you, the ivory tower is far more panic-inducing.
Doing a PhD out of laziness is a pretty ridiculous idea…
Too true.
‘Doing’ a PhD? I thought the sections would be, ‘marry him and never have to work’, ’sue him later for emotional distress and taking advantage of you’ and my favorite, ‘making sure you have tons of child support coming in’. I guess ‘doing’ and ‘earning’ are the same thing now.
Thank you, saved me some typing. Silly misuse of words.
Paging Dr. Crane.
Wow, I did not see the words “lazy” or “laziness” until that comment.
Definately blue for me, a little bit of green to. And I admit that it would be awsome to call myself a doctor. Though I’m currently studying for my bachelors degree, so I shouldn’t think abou getting a PhD yet!
Its not about calling yourself doctor. Its about finally getting other people to call you doctor, just without the sarcasm this time.
You forgot “wearing a lab coat!!!!!”
naw, you don’t even need a degree to do that.
Because smart chicks are HOT.
DAMN RIGHT.
“Unable to find a job” is as large as “Love studying?” I think not.
OMG – don’t do it!
7/8th of those people are going to be very disappointed.
where is the section: “Hates free time and is planning on working 18 hours a day for the next 5 years for slim to nil job prospects.” or “Loves being below the poverty line till you get a real job at 50.”
Which is why I dropped out of a PhD program. Med Techs make more money starting out and only work 8 – 10 hrs a day! And forget cushy teaching jobs! Publish or Perish! I still have nightmares.
Actually, college professors teach 3-9 hours per week.
And it shouldn’t be “doctor”, it should be “Dokteur”, like in Austin Powers movies.
Your assuming there job is to teach. Lots of professors don’t teach. They do research, get grants and publish. All of which takes lots of time.
their*
They can stop publishing and doing research, once they get tenure (after 6 years).
But most don’t WANT to stop publishing and doing research. That’s the bit they like. It’s the teaching they hate. At least, that’s how it was in my faculty *shrug*
*you’re (a PhD student
)
LOL! I like the correction of THEIR, but what about YOU’RE. Try again.
You’re*
That would presume that standing in a classroom is the only thing a professor has to do. There’s the preparation of lectures and homework assignments, grading homework and tests, serving on campus and academic committees, and writing and doing research. And teaching online takes even MORE time than teaching in the classroom. Sure, if you want to be a hack, you can just develop your lecture once and give it every semester for the next 30 years, but most professors don’t want to be that sort of jerk.
Although I am in the classroom only 9 hours a week, I spend approximately 20 hours a week preparing for classes, grading papers, and meeting with students. Another 20 hours on research. Another two hours (or more) on service requirements. I work well over 50 hours a week!!!!!
And that’s why you get a degree in Creative Writing! NOBODY has that degree yet… MWAHAHAHAHAHA
And then you only need a Master’s degree to get a cushy uni job. Bwahahahahahaha
So true! I’ve actually heard people say that professors only work 15 hours a week. So why do I work 6-7 days a week during the semester until all hours?
Sadly true.
Hm. I guess it depends on your program.
I love mine. Tuition’s covered, health insurance, stipend, 20 graded credits and the rest research, low cost of living means paid off undergrad loans…
It beats the military and slinging burgers all to hell.
That sounds nice. What field are you in? I can tell you that PhD candidates in education are not so lucky.
Just finished my second year (of six) and am approximately $50 thousand in debt.
PhD in the sciences (biology, chemistry, physics, etc) are free. My sis went for a PsyD and was paying $30 K a year.
Psy Ds from free standing schools are really about the money (its a bit better from those associated with a university). A PhD in psych is just like any other, with tuition waivers, living stipends, ect. Its a better option for those who solely want to practice, but unfortunately, within the academic psych community, its looked down upon, especially from free standing schools.
So true, as usual. Well, I don’t know about other countries, but in my country you can’t become doctor anymore. It’s now called master of science, and if I’m not mistaken, it’s valid in pretty much every country.
But for me, “unable to find a job” and “keen interest in subject” should be switched.
But still, being a Master of Science, it rocks like hell!!!
I definitely want to beceome one!
Hm, I think that’s a bit less that a PhD. If you’re from Europe, a masters is the 2nd level according to Bolognia and a PhD is the third.
It is???!?
Well, I’m from Europe, but I’m not sure if it’s the same in Holland as in your country.
As far as I know, Master is the second and highest grade you can get at university, with bachelor being the first and the lowest.
It’s probably the same though.
In my country you get a M.Sc. after 5 yrs of studying. PhD takes you another 3-6 years after that. It’s no lectures though, “just” research and teaching. And one final comprehensive exam at the end.
As here, I have to get a PhD, because everyone does =/
I would be happy with my diploma, but nooooo
im pretty sure the “unable to find a job” section needs to be like atleast 85% of the graph
“Free Food” is another reason…
WTF this isn’t even funny. what the hell happened to Graph Jam?
welcome to graphjam.
It’s funny if you’re doing a PhD
Yellow definitely needs to be bigger. No one in my program wants to graduate any time soon.
Wow. Look at all the haters. Getting a Ph.D. is an honor. Keep on hating haters, I’ll be busy generating ideas to make your lives better. Sad how much energy you’d put into knocking those who commit themselves to learning and teaching others.
lol…I’m roughly 2-3 months away from finishing my dissertation in mythological studies, and this graph represents the reasons I kept writing for the last 2 years. Classwork was great, but this dissertation was close to killing me.
While I agree with you that actually receiving a PhD is a considerable achievement, I’m not so sure I agree with the whole “generating ideas to make lives better” line. Not all research ultimately benefits humanity (i.e.: atom bomb, mustard gas). Some research isn’t even benefiting to even a single people group (as WMD are); understanding the behaviour of quarks/mesons/etc. doesn’t really do much for society at large. A lot of research has very little practical application.
As for “hating”, I think you might have a few issues of your own…
Well, understanding quarks/mesons may not help *yet* in everyday life, but it may sure do in a couple of decades (thinking quantum computers and the like). We cannot know that yet. 100 years ago, noone would have expected the SRT to be valuable ever, but now it is.
Certainly, WMDs themselves aren’t benefiting to anybody, but then again the elementary research that enabled them sure had very important civil applications. Think about nowadays living standard without nuclear energy…
Way to pick out the three things among thousands of reserach topics and associated inventions to demonstrate that research doesn’t help people. Oh, and I guess nuclear fission never helped anyone.
I would LOVE to have a holier-than-thou, self-important, bitter narcissist working on ME!
Lol.
I think postponing the real world should have a major section.
Opportunity to teach at the Graduate level at a prominent university is always something to keep in mind … either because one truely enjoys teaching, supplemental income, planning for when you hit 55 and corporate America “down sizes you” and does mid-life-crisis have any bearing?
Pretty much correct for me, except I am actually putting off a much better paid job by two years in order to finish the Phd, so the orange section doesn’t apply to me. I would fill in that orange bit with red and then it’s about right.
Don’t forget the awesome crunch wrap supreme-like hat. That’s what I’d get mine for.
hehe, I remember the profs coming in in their robe at my convocation – robes in every shade (typically more than one) and hats of every size and shape. it’s a wonder anyone takes people in such garish attire so seriously
This is Doctor Frazier Crane, thankyou for listening Seattle!!
Dapper Swindler, I hope you’re not thinking of a PhD for that reason. Almost no one who earns a PhD gets a job at a university. So, yes, wanting a “cushy ” job a university (which pretty much only exists for administrators, not professors) might be motivation, but you could also want that job from McDonald’s and that place pays more than most professors make.
Lisa… you may want to do a little research on the web. My quick search has a Mcds manager averagign around $31,000 a year while a Univerisity prof makes 6 figures. And I’m just thinking a University prof don’t get food thrown in their face because some 16 year punk employee of yours who is only there because his parents made him work put pickles on said customer’s Big Mac.
IMHO, being a freak lib University prof is about as easy as it gets.
My professor works about 60 hours a week. If he would have stayed in industry as an engineer he would earn at least twice the money (probably more by now) while having maybe about the same work load.
Being a professor (at least in engineering) is certainly neither about money nor about coziness, you need to love what you’re doing.
Please send me a list of the universities paying six figures. I’ll be glad to leave mine and relocate for that sort of a pay raise.
I make a lot closer to $31,000 than to 6 figures.
For that matter, no one in my department makes 6 figures, and neither does the Dean.
At the University of Michigan, the entire University payroll is published on the Michigan daily every year.
You can check it out here
http://data.michigandaily.com/tmdsal?
Pretty much every eecs professor at my school makes $100-150k per year excluding bonuses (assuming a 12-month contract) except the assistant profs. The truth is that they usually work for 8 months though but as a prof you can work for industry during your summer which may earn you the same amount as the 8 months at the University.
Law and business professors make easily 300-400k per annum, and they hold various consultancy positions too.
…what about getting to wear those robes that make you look like a wizard from Harry Potter? *knows several people who have stated this as their primary purpose for getting a PHD*
But then again, I know a lot of geeks.
I’m getting mine made out of leather, with the title page of my dissertation on the back with lots of extra-heavy-metal-diacritical-marks painted on the back.
Thank you Madi! I swear my PhD convocation felt like a Hogwarts ceremony…and is even more surreal when they start playing “God Save the Queen” (in Canada).
‘getting to call yourself Doctor’ while other people get to call you douchebag.
If you’re doing it just to call yourself Doctor, you’re the kind of person everyone else thinks is a douchebag.
Unless you’re like me- I want to get a PhD so people can call me Doctor Reed… just like the guy on Star Trek. XD (And trust me, I’m one of the nicest people out there)
I was taught by a Dr. Love once… seriously!
XD That’s really awesome!! I’m sure they got a whole lot comments on their name!
You guys are missing a big picture. I know a full professor at a University.
Sure the university pay is meh, but he makes TONS on $$$ on consulting work from companies that come to the University for help with research/studies.
Gotta love the states (I guess?). In my country professors must not receive any other pay, it’s illegal if they earn money with consulting or any other job on the side. At least for full professors.
You’re missing “PhDs are funded” and “Avoid real life.”
and thus, avoiding real idiots!
All of the above … but the REAL motivation for me? The pretty colored velvet hood and poofy hat!
Best thing about a Ph.D. is putting your name on the waiting list at a restaurant (or making reservations). “Dr. Krowten, table for five.” My proudest moment.
What about “the desire to legitimize long-winded opinion based ramblings?”
“A doctor”?
No, I want to call myself “the doctor”
The problem is when someone requires medical attention and they ask for any doctors, you have to say “I am a doctor of computer science not medicine”, furthermore, i don’t even look at sick computers.
Its all about the labcoat
But face it, with some degrees (like philosophy?) you can’t do much besides teach and research, so you can’t find a job without a PhD.
As for me, I love psych, love grad classes, and the Dr. title is a bonus, but I’ll be using the hell out of it.
If I do decide to get my PhD it will be mostly so I can call myself a doctor. Because, y’know, why else would you get a PhD in fashion studies?
soooooo true ^^
I’m quitting my job to go for a phd .. where do I fall in ? God why do you put crazy ideas in my head
Same with me…things are a bit tight in my country at the moment, and the only way to escape the current reality is to go out and learn, and I hope by the time i finish the situation could be better! Then again, my research work will touch on some of the pressing issues in human development…