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Reasons Why I’ve feared for my life on a plane



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Reasons Why I’ve feared for my life on a plane

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  1. .Soul. says:

    What? No fear of Snakes on a Plane?

  2. Empyrean Goddess says:

    This…really isn’t funny.

    • Disser says:

      I agree. Not that funny and why would hyperactive children make you the most nervous on a plane? Shouldn’t terrorists be up there?

      • MLD says:

        I’m more afraid of kids than terrorists–anyone with half a brain and the tiniest shred of logic would be (at least in the US). And I think the reference is SUPPOSED to be a fear that the kids will somehow open the emergency exit]

      • somebody says:

        I think that’s part of the humor.

        See, we know logically that the door can’t be opened in flight, not by the kids near the door (who of course aren’t in their officially purchased seats, but might be over there anyway) or anyone else. And we know that guy is probably in the bathroom because he ate the wrong food before the flight took off. But our minds get on those things and we get scared. We DON’T necessarily think of “terrorists” specifically. Although that would be something actually logical to fear.

        We humans aren’t logical, see? That’s part of what makes it funny.

  3. Rosh says:

    How about watching too much Air Crash Investigation? It freaked me out…

  4. Deon says:

    Since no one else has mentioned it yet — this is why airliner doors are designed to open inward, against the pressure differential when the plane is in flight. It would take roughly 15,000 pounds of force to open a door while at altitude. No one’s opening that door — not a bunch of screaming kids, not a passenger freaking out who decides to try to leave, not even Chuck Norris.

    The dude in the lav is *way* scarier.

    • TiminBoston says:

      Thanks for that Deon, it saved me the trouble of typing it myself. In regards to terrorists staging another 9/11 type attack… never going to happen. You honestly think that fellow passenger will sit idly by while people hijack a plane? Don’t think so. There will probably be some carnage, but believe you me, it’s going to be the hijackers who won’t be walking off the plane when it makes a landing.

      For those of you who are into planes and travel by plane there is a great column by a guy named Patrick Smith on salon every week called “Ask the Pilot”. Patrick fly’s 676 on international routes and is a great read to boot.

      • joeschmoe says:

        Deon saved you the trouble of writing it, and yet you restate what he said, taking even more space and time to do so…

    • Roba says:

      Woah, woah, Deon. Let’s not get carried away. Chuck Norris can open any door, and most walls, regardless of cabin pressure.

    • FacialTurd says:

      It’s nearer 2,000 lbs actually.

  5. Frokost says:

    I was looking for something about crash-landing on an island where you are barraged by monsters, polar bears, and Others.

  6. cucuto89 says:

    what about that guy in a turbin?

    • Sal says:

      If there’s a guy stuck in the turbine engine I’m pretty sure the airplane is going to go down, yeah, but I wouldn’t exactly think that would be common occurrence. ;-P
      I mean, I’ve heard of birds hitting airplane engines, but guys? What was he doing out there? Sky diving? Either way, I’m fairly sure the guy in the turbine should really start fearing for his life.

    • Grumpy Curmudgeon says:

      I have yet to hear of any terrorist Sikhs hijacking a plane.

      I’d be more afraid of the guy wearing a Confederate flag on his shirt – He’s likely to be the sort of racist retard that would vote for Palin in 2012.

      cucuto89 – May you be raped to death, your flesh eaten, and your skin turned into clothing by a man who has exactly the same shade skin, the same religion, and the same choice in clothes, as you do.

  7. TiminBoston says:

    Oops… that was supposed to be 767’s, not 676’s.

  8. LHLD says:

    actually everyone else should fear me… i can’t sleep in moving vehicles (great for driving, poor for flying). and this is made even worse by the really annoying person next to me who can’t WAIT to tell me his/her life story.
    however, i’m great with children. so, can we trade planes?

  9. What about no Vodka left?

  10. Seddah says:

    The correct answer is “snakes”.

  11. Stormrider says:

    I can honestly say I’ve never feared for my life on a plane.

    Unless I’m flying it. And even then only a few times.

  12. nathan says:

    99% of that should be its a qantas plain.

  13. atwork says:

    hmmm, he left out taking a ryanair flight…but then again thats only a european torture…

  14. Danny says:

    What about snakes?

  15. autumnsolace says:

    What about watching too much LOST?

  16. Matt says:

    There’s so much wrong with this graph:
    1) The title is inappropriate based on the content. There are 4 “Reasons” listed. The title should be along the lines of “Distribution of my fear among these 4 reasons” or something similar.
    2) There are so many other reasons to be nervous on a plane (sadistic stewardesses, getting stuck on the tarmac for hours on end, etc etc) that aren’t listed.
    3) No one under 15 (or so — I can’t remember the exact age limit) is allowed to sit in the exit row.
    4) The perpetuation of the misconception that an aircraft door can be opened in flight. The physics of it have already been explained here, but I can’t believe so many people just don’t get it.

  17. Wownik says:

    You people being overly critical and are overthinking a simple lolpie chart. I though it was clever and funny, not like all these garden variety, “what my cat will do or lick/odds something will happen at worst possible time” charts. Good chart imo.

    • somebody says:

      I agree.

      I think it’s part of the intended humor that we “fear for our lives” at the dumbest random crap but it’s not really anything we should fear, but the things we should fear, we don’t. Why? Because we are all humans and all humans are messed up.

  18. Kiba says:

    Pacman has a fever and is vomiting a rainbow??

  19. gh says:

    boring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  20. el gallo indio says:

    which airliner doors open inwards? the planes I always get on have the door open outwards…..


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