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lol. ice pack for everything!
hehe, even for STDs? I can just hear it now: ” But miss, even with the ice pack, it burns when I pee!”
and you know they reuse the same ice packs right? so next kid gets ice pack for swollen mouth after a ball to the face.
It’s sad that there would be any sort of mention of STDs in conjunction with a school graph.
Everyone nowadays is just a big, bald rabbit.
Mrs. Graphjam I had a stroke!
Here have an ice pack…
at least you get ice packs.
i remember in 8th grade, someone pulled my chair out when i went to sit in it, and i slammed on my ass on tile floor, so i went to the nurse and she gave me a mint.
the mint was nice, but it didn’t help my ass.
ice packs work! dont they? >><<
Not for strokes.
What about heat strokes?
so true
Head Lice.
The school district will have the CDC lock you inside your home and
burn it down if the kids have head lice.
And if you manage to survive and get the kids’ heads cleaned up and back to school, they come back the very next night with head lice.
And if you all survive and get the kids’ heads cleaned up and get them back to school, they come home the next night with… head lice.
Well, if the last column was a trifecta of head lice/vomiting/pink eye then I’d say spot on. It’s still pretty good, the creator MUST work in a school.
Yep
I broke my arm during gym class in 7th grade, and apparently because bones weren’t like, sticking out all over the place, the nurse thought it was just sprained. Yeah, both bones lady, and I had to have surgery to get a rod in. And when they took it out I wasn’t asleep.
But really, Pink Eye is contagious, so I get why the nurse would care most about that…
which nursing school is this?! i really hope it’s not in my area!
*cough* It’s school nurse…. not nursing school. School such as an elementary or junior high school… *cough*
That’s why schools like having parent “volunteers” on hand. A mom will pinch a bloody nose ’til it dries up, wash & bandage a skinned knee, stick half of a kid’s face under the faucet to flush sand out of her eyes…School staff would get sued for anything beyond offering ice.
And apparently, at my current high school, the nurse is only there like, two days a week. Thank goodness I don’t have gym anymore XD
That was the story at my kids grade school. I was the bandage queen & nebulizer nanny. The security guard was king of the rescue inhalers. The poor nurse had to cover 3 schools and was so bogged down with paper work that I’d often catch her pining for the ER.
You have a security guard at school?
We do at our high school, but I have the suspicion in the back of my head that he’s never actually passed the bar.
bah the nursing staff at the high school i went to was even worse they couldn’t even offer an ice pack i once ended up with a huge cut running down my back all they did was slap a bandage on it and tell me to go to the local walk-in clinic witch was over a kilometer away (yes in Canadian i use a measuring system with only one conversion equation) and they wouldn’t even excuse me from class to do so
Yeah, I definitely lied. It was sixth grade. Cause I broke it again in 8th xD Whoopsie.
yeah, my right forearm was bent downwards and i could feel the bones under my skin, because i tripped over a railroad tie while running to catch a ball and went over a slide- my arm hyper-extends, so my hand was trapped under the slide with my weight on it, so my arm just snapped- since i wasn’t crying and making a fuss, the nurse in the ER didn’t think it was serious. i spent 5 hours in the waiting room, and a kid with diarrhea came in after me and got out while i was still in the waiting room. on the bright side, my arm looked like a funny-shaped swan
I’ve had several pins for broken bones, and I was never put to sleep when they took them out. It’s not that bad.
This wasn’t a pin. This was a somewhat thick metal rod. That’s a little different than a pin.
“. . . the nurse thought it was just sprained”? You’re thinking of a STRAIN. A SPRAIN can be much worse than a broken bone. I’ve been lucky enough to have had both. When I was in 7th grade, I sprained my ankle in a bike accident, and was on crutches for at least 6 weeks (it’s been a weakened ankle ever since, too). I missed a lot of gym & took a lot of crap from classmates (even teachers) for that one, but screw ‘em. My doctor is the one who insisted I stay on the crutches.
I was in a car accident and had multiple breaks in my right leg, and have pins, screws, & plates in various places. Had an external fixator (temporary rods sticking out of the bone through the skin), so I KNOW that’s not fun. They take those out w/o any anesthetic (let you unscrew ‘em yourself, too!), but that was not as bad as it might sound. I’ve never heard of them taking a rod out that way, however. Usually that’s done surgically, under full anesthesia.
Here, it’s not an ice pack, it’s her magical drink of water.
Hee. I was about to comment to say something similar. I had stomach flu once at summer camp, and not only did they lie to my parents about it, but they lied to me about what my parents had said. They thought I was faking it. Called it a “pretty little sick pain.” And then the other sickling of the group had a kidney condition and at one point vomited blood, and they thought *she* was faking it too. But the *real* problem was we weren’t drinking enough water, don’t you know?
that sounds like my school nurse. almost had a law suit when someone went to her office vomiting and saying he didn’t feel good. she sent him back to class where he later passed out and was rushed to the hospital. he had appendicitis and could have died. why they didn’t fire her after that is beyond me.
I had a teacher who made me stand for so long I fainted, broke my jaw and had to get 12 stitches. She didn’t get fired, you’d think this would make the principal go “hey, you’ve been known as a crazy teacher for years, lets get rid of you for once and for all” but nooo.
Later in life (grade 3 ftw) I learned it was because she was the top choir teacher in the entire school system and they didn’t want to risk losing her. Schools don’t like having fired teachers on their records, especially choir/kindergarten teachers.
YEAH I GOT A CHOIR INJURY. WATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT?
give you a hug and my teddy bear to get through that horrible memory?
I’m not sure if this applies to the U.S, but here at least part of the problem is the lack of replacements. Teaching just isn’t an appealing job, so while lawyers and engineers are a dime a dozen, mediocre teachers are something to hold on to if at all possible, and good teachers are a thing out of legend.
Yay!! Magic water!!!
Gym teachers are worse. I fell down the stairs and twisted my ankle.
Me: *limping in obvious pain*
Gym teacher: Suck it up!
My brother broke two fingers and the gym teacher did the exact same thing. The guy called a second grader a wuss and told him to suck it up. The only way my mom found out about it was the teacher and secretary felt bad for my brother and called her. I can still remember how pissed she was. She hated that coach til the day he retired and left.
also Lice. Lice is CDC as well.
School nurses in my area are screwed in the head not only for whats shown in the graph, but they’ll also totally freak out about simple things like heat rash and stuff that kids get ALL THE TIME! You would think being around 200+ nose-dripping, skinned knee’d kids every day they would pick up on that, but apparently they got their nursing license in a Cracker Jack Box and freeze up whenever giving them an icepack won’t solve the problem…
My favorite experience with the school nurse was the day I dislocated my jaw. She gave me some ibuprofen and told me to take it after eating, never mind that I couldn’t actually bring my teeth together to chew.
She was allowed to give you ibuprofen?! Without getting sued? Amazing!
As a school nurse, I loved this graph.
But yes, some of us can give ibuprofen or other meds. I have a prescribing MD above me (I work through another agency, not the schools), and parental permission with standing orders. Only for high school students though.
:/ a good school nurse?!
.
if i could, i’d hug you right now XD
once in the ER, i had a very bad broken arm- the 70 year old guy who made my splint said it was one of the most “impressive” he’d ever seen, bones moving around behind the skin and everything, but since i wasn’t crying, i spent 5 hours waiting to even get past the waiting room- mind if i ask why a nurse/assistant would do that? i mean, there was a boy with diarrhea who came in after me and got out while i was in the waiting room
Ha, we didn’t even have ice packs in the gym at my middle school. We had frozen packages of Skittles. If someone got hurt, they were allowed to eat the Skittles once they thawed, though.
Haha, so were kids getting hurt on purpose just to eat Skittles?
I had pink eye once & couldn’t call in to work. Then when I got there my boss saw how disfigured I was & didn’t send me home. He just made me Purell my hands every 10 minutes.
Dude, I’m go pink eye his phone and door knob. What a buttmunch.
I like how next to “pink eye” is “death”…
Looks like SOMEONE’S kid got sent home today!
Yeah I had to get them to call my mom and doctor before they would let me take an Advil. Also one time (in Colorado) a school nurse messed up and gave my friend the wrong medicine, he was supposed to take a decongestant, but instead they mixed it up with some other kids depression medicine and gave my friend wellbutrin. And she didn’t get fired or anything.
I don’t blame them for not taking it seriously, 80% or more of the students in the nurse’s office are just trying to get out of class, I was one of them in elementary and Junior high.
uhmm.. 80%’s a little high from when i’ve been there, if a kid wants to get out of class they ask to go to the nurse but never actually go see her- just skip. and i’m a high school student :/
In my high school, tums cured everything.
TRUE. At my junior high I went to the nurse’s office in the morning, complaining of not feeling well. She gave me Tums and sent me back to class. Later in the day I got 2nd degree burns in shop class (8th graders welding – who thought that up?) and the nurse gave me an ice pack. I pointed out that I still didn’t feel well, she gave me another Tums. Got home, had a 100+ degree fever.
Everyone knew that to get Advil you just had to say you had cramps. Of course, you had to be a girl for this to work but not for lack of effort on the part of the boys . . .
LICE!!!!!!
Lol this is so funny, and sadly, pretty realistic. My mom’s a school nurse and they won’t let her help with anything, half the time all she can do is paperwork and letting kids who feel sick (whether they really do or they just want to skip a class) lay down on a cot. One time, a kid fractured their bone, and the kid’s mom got mad at her for sending them home.
Can someone please asplain WHAT Pink Eye is? I’ve only heard it referred to on South Park…is it what you look like after a heavy nights drinking?
“Pinkeye (also called conjunctivitis) is redness and swelling of the conjunctiva, the mucous membrane that lines the eyelid and eye surface. The lining of the eye is usually clear. If irritation or infection occurs, the lining becomes red and swollen.” – webMD
lol @ next quote “Pinkeye is very common. It usually is not serious and goes away in 7 to 10 days without medical treatment.”
it’s very contagious, and that is why they freak out if they think a kid has it. cause and ice pack can go on anything not contagious like the graph says (cause STDs aren’t contagious apparently…)
Contagious… like the common cold? like the flu? like EBOLA!?!!!??
It’s so horrifyingly CONTAGIOUS and yet all it does it make your eye membranes swell and look gross for about a week. If you’re over the age of 5 it’s about as serious as pimple. If you’re an infant or immune deficient then you actually have something to worry about. There’s a reason why most sites say “not serious”. Really, trufacts.
“it’s very contagious, and that is why they freak out…”
Yep, I never understood why schools (and workplaces for that matter) come to a screeching halt over pinkeye. I came to work for a week with lingering strep throat/sinus infection …got sent home for showing up one day with pinkeye. Amazingly none of my coworkers came down with either of the same things! /sarcasm
Um, it usually does more than that, albeit not much more. It is often accompanied by cold like symptoms. That said, unless the person is very young, they should be able to function perfectly well with pink eye, as all of the symptoms are easily treatable (a warm compress every couple of hours, along with eye drops will do wonders) and the disease itself isn’t dangerous to the vast majority of people.
It’s simply because it spreads SO easily; more easily than the common cold. But I agree that the treatment is easy and not only that, quick. I had pinkeye a couple of years ago, and the antibiotic drops I was given started to clear it within about 24 hrs (maybe a little more). But, the second my boss saw me that day I came in to work (before I realized what was going on), she sent me home: do not pass go, don’t touch anything, we can shut off your computer and close your office …. but of course, I worked in a hospital.
Apparently I’m the only one who had nice school nurses… If you were actually throwing up, you got sent home immediately, if you had a stomach ache you got a peppermint and a chance to lay down (if you came back an hour or two later and still were sick, you got to go home), any sign of sprain or broken bone you got to go home or on an ambulance if it was bad enough. The only bad thing that ever happened was I threw up in the trash can next to my cot when the peppermint didn’t work, and the nurse politely asked if I could try to make it to the bathroom next time.
You’re not the only one. The only complaint I had about any of the nurses in my schooling history was that in High School the nurse was only there two days a week due to being shared with multiple schools. But if you really needed something, chances were that at least one of the shop-type class teachers would have it.
In my elementary school the nurse never sent anyone home. Like all the other school nurses it was either: lay down in the plastic cot, ice pack, or a bandage. I was practically coughing up a lung in 5th grade and they instantly sent me back to class.
But in my middle school, you could tell her you have a headache and she would tell you to call your parents. No hassle nurses are great.
In my schools, we had a very good service. They didn’t only have ice packs, but also TEA for everything
You forgot to put lice – that’s a “call the parents” if I ever heard one!
STD’s? Death? What kind of school is this?
A high school!
This is true. I got sent home for pink eye twice.
My highschool nurse was great but in middle school the gym teachers and nurses were evil. I broke a peice of bone off the knuckle in my pinky when some ass kid who didn’t like me chucked the ball at me. The finger turned blue and started swelling and i couldn’t move it but the teacher made me keep playing basket ball until i dropped the ball and walked out with him yelling that I’d get a dentention if i didn’t go back right away. Went to the nurse, she took one look at it, didn’t even give me an ice pack, and sent me back to gym. After refuing to play ball anymore i waited class out on the bleachers and skipped class to go to the office. The worker took one look at my finger and called my mum asap…my mum was pissed but the principal talked he out of calling anyone by making sure i wouldn’t get a dentention. As far as i know there was no punishment for either the gym teacher or the nurse….wonderful day…ugh
That’s middle school for ya! Although, that sounds like more-evil-demons-than-the-usual running the place . . . where was this level of hell?
I can see it now..
“Teacher! Billys dead!”
“Give him an ice-pack!”
Also, one question, whats the CDC?
Center for Disease Control. They track and research diseases and institute federal quarantines if the situation calls for it.
Centers for Disease Control, part of the Department of Health and Human Services. Do U Haz Google?
WOW! I am a school nurse and I have never heard of students being ignored and mistreated in this manner. If you had been my student, I would have made it all better
It is true that due to many lawsuits and unfortunate incidents, Nurses (at least in my district/state) are not allowed to give anything more than ice packs, peppermints, gingerale and crackers. My medicine cabinet consists of vaseline, mentholatum and campho-phenique. I do, however, send a lot of kids home with pink eye, fever, vomiting etc. I just LOVE the fact that I have to try 6 different phone numbers that do not work before finding someone who knows someone who lives near enough to walk over and tell them that their child has a 102 fever and the school nurse has spent the last three hours calling everyone in the phone book while packing their kid in ice packs and wet towels and debating calling the paramedics. What is even better is when the parent shows up and verbally assaults the staff for interrupting their day! What is even better than that is when they bring me the doctor bill and slam it down on the desk and ask me if I am going to pay for it…………Did I mention that during this time six kids from the same class have come in one by one claiming they vomited in the bathroom and flushed the evidence, have no fever, a completely normal physical assesment, but they want to go home?
Heh, for that last part, at least you didn’t work where I went to Middle School. All of the toilets in the building were automatic. Good luck trying to get evidence when all of the toilets flushed on their own.
OMG, what parent expects the school nurse to pay for his or her child’s illness?? Is this some new medical insurance program I haven’t heard about? Where do I sign? [Oh, that's right--I don't have kids--no freebies for me!]
Ahahahaa. That’s so true.
lucky, we never got icepacks we sometimes were allowed to lie down for a little.
I want to see the school nurse cure death with an icepack.
“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Brown? Yes, I’m sorry to say I have some bad news. Your daughter has died. But don’t worry, we gave her an ice pack.”
One is missing up there: Don’t-want-to-go-to-class-itis.
Ugh, as a 7th grader once we were in PE and I accidentally hit my friend in the face with a frisbee (I’m the master of bad hand-eye coordination.) So I took her to the nurse, and said, “I hit her with a frisbee by accident.” The nurse said, “Crispy? Like…chicken?”
“No, FRISBEE.”
“OHHH! Here, have some ice.”
I really do have quite a few good nurse stories. How about the time I came in when I had walked into a pole, and had a huge bump on my head (clumsy clumsy clumsy!!) The school day was literally 5 minutes from ending, and she had me call my mom. I said, “Listen, my mom’s not even picking me up today, and besides, the bell will ring before you can say “concussion.”" She had me call just to notify. *SIGH*
Luckily there’s a new nurse this year. Maybe the old one got fired? Probably. Anyway, I brought in a friend with what seemed to be a bad cold or the flu or something, and the first thing she said (after, “sign in please.”) was, “So, what’s wrong with you? Did you barf? We’ve had a lot of barfers today.”
Her and I are both rather puke-ophobic, so we just exchanged a strange glance and said, “You know, I think I’m feeling better.” And ran out. (It was 5th period anyway!)
I sprained my ankle and they made go to the other side of the school to get the ice pack myself and sent back out into the cold, that’s the education system for ya.
I don’t know what school you went to, my junior high had cold paper towels in ziploc bags instead of ice packs…
my next door neighbors kid…during the first week of kindergarten mind you, fell off the climbing wall (great idea right) and broke her femur…the nurse wasn’t even gonna call her parents…made her walk all over the place and everything…she said when they finally called they called the wrong person!!! but they finally got it right and my neighbor said she could hear her daughter screaming in the background. she was out of school for almost two weeks because she made it so bad from walking on it…gotta love that.
* face palm*
Instead of ice pack it should be cough drop
Oh jeez this is soooooooo true!! I have a permanent grudge against all school nurses because of the crappy care they gave me throughout middle and high school. At least the elementary school nurses were competent where I lived.
-huge gash on my thumb from a locker–”aw run it under some water”
-chronic migraines I suffered throughout high school–”here’s an icepack”
-sprained my ankle–”here’s an icepack.”
-Hit my head on a street sign while going back inside school during a gas leak and later suffered from a concussion–a counselor laughed at me and I also got an ice pack. YAY. XP
I kinda think it’s funny when people come on here and complain that their nurse didn’t excuse them from gym class because they “twisted an ankle” and limped it out.
My nurse always gives me an icepack after I die.
It makes me feel a lot better.
A friend of mine once went to the nurse at our camp a couple years back complaining of a stomachache. Sure enough, she was given an icepack. (And by icepack I mean ziploc baggie filled with ice.) That nurse isn’t there anymore, thank god.
I’d share a fun story about the nurse at my high school, but I’m not even sure where the nurse’s office IS anymore. I think I went there once last year for an eye exam.
In my middle school, the secretary was also the nurse. Between running the phone, scheduling stuff and the lost and found, poor woman didn’t have time for kids with headaches and boohoohoo, we had to go into the office, explain what was wrong, call our parents on line 2, and then we could get an ice pack and lie down or whatev. sometimes an EA would come in and feel back and get our stuff for us so we didn’t have to when our parents came.
Not even a “Call Parent” for death?
I think that might be stretching it a little bit.
.
But good graph, I’d say. Well executed…
Er, so to speak.
*expects someone that has used that joke before without my knowledge to come and attack me*
Sadly I did once sprain my ankle and they didn’t even call my parents.
omg i know!! i knew i had pink eye for over a week and i wasn’t treated but i couldn’t stay home because as a senior, we werent allowed to have absences. (if we made it throughout the semester without absences, we didn’t have to take any final exams!) but someone saw my eyes, and i had to sit in the office until they called my parents, allerted the teachers, disinfected the phones, every desk i used, my locker, and eventually sent me home.
I HAD TO TAKE EVERY FINAL EXAM THERE WAS.
F*** my old high school!!!!
HOWEVER, when i was knocked down by a group of people running in the hall and broke my knee, i had to limp around on a borrowed pair of crutches that the office keeps for the rest of the day! and mind you, these crutches were fit for a FIVE YEAR OLD.
Whoever wrote this graph must have gone to the same elementary school as me!
Actually they weren’t even ice packs, they were ice sponges