Time Spent Writing My Essays
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put this on failblog cause it FAILSS AT GRAPH
NO U. I think it’s hilarious.
That’s way too much legitimate research.
indeed, the majority should be bullshit content….then getting preoccupied with something else….then font tittle…
If you put the date it’s due on you can pretend that you were “trying to help them with filing it”.
That’s what I usually end up doing.
You’re not me
I do that anyway because I don’t like putting any other date on. Besides, that’s usually the day I do it on and I don’t make it a secret.
The rest is inaccurate for me, though. I always use Arial for my title, I don’t copy and paste anything (because I take handwritten notes first and write from there) and I don’t do much research. I do bare-bones reports with a few facts and a lot of filler.
I use courier new because it adds a page or two to a 10-page paper.
Thanks for the tip!
One of my profs insisted on courier font, as well as a specific font size. Margins were also regulated, along with a number of other things. When we handed in our papers, we had to include an extra document, listing all of the regulations. We had to include our signatures at the end of this extra document, to indicate the we had read the rules and tried to adhere to them. Marks were taken off if we transgressed, or if we forgot to include the extra document.
Now I’m a prof. Profs aren’t stupid. We were students once too. We know that you leave your homework until the last minute, especially papers. Besides, unless you hand it in on the date you’ve written on your paper, give or take a day, we’re pretty sure you didn’t actually finish it on that date. We don’t actually care when you do your work, unless you’re coming to us on the day before the due date asking for an extension or a suggestion for a paper topic. That’s annoying. Don’t do that. Likewise, we don’t care what font you use for your title. Don’t use Comic Sans for the body of the text. Or for anything else. That font is annoying. Everywhere.
Actually, I made all this crap up. It’s true that I’m a prof. But I teach math, most courses in which there are no essays. If I did teach classes that had essays to hand in, the preceding paragraph reflects accurately the attitude I would have.
What the-? Weirdo.
Yeah. You ruined everything.
Because professors never spot that.
I’ve graduated from high school anyway.
Don’t bother with fake dates and weird fonts. We’re ON to you. You “wrote” it last night. That’s why it’s short, choppy, full of filler and not in your voice. Drop the subterfuge.
I always put the date it’s due, never the date I actually write it.
I was under the impression that this was the appropriate date to put, myself. Why would you put an arbitrary date when theoretically you are to work on the paper over time?
Only thing here that I’ve ever done is (back in High School) fudging the access date on citations of websites, in order to hide how late I did some of my research.
I only ever did that on websites that I knew to be stable, and only fudged the date by a week or so. I just hated to admit that I found what turned to be my best source two days before the paper was due.
Font-choosing and (borderline) plagiarism are things I left behind in elementary school.
whenever i get to writing the date (normally last thing i do) i often roll back a few days and write that in…if the date i rote down is before the date it was set…then i can just say it was a mistake i made during the hard work i out in whilst doing the homework.
also the title…if you have office 2007 you click a button and write….not exactly difficult!
I always wondered why all these graphs suck lately.
Turns out that the graph makers are a bunck of n00bs who can’t even write a legimate essay. XD
*bunch
Hey Mike Hunt, don’t you have to go suck off Mike Hawk somewhere?
Ah yes, another entry that could just as easily go on Failblog as on GraphJam. Well done!
copying and pasting from wikipedia learning plagiarism skills which can get me expelled from any accredited university.
fix’d.
How do I love plagiarism? Let me count the ways.
http://www.qwantz.com/archive/001393.html
I think the author of this is too LAZY to be ay any institution of higher learning. It’s not so much fail as a graph as it is fail as a student.
Agreed. The graph was clearly made by a high school or middle school student. By the time you get to college you know the proper date to put on a paper is the due date and the teacher doesn’t give a shit when you completed it. You also (hopefully) realize that Wikipedia is full of misinformation and not the best place to do any of your final research.
Yes to the date part, no to the last part.
Wikipedia’s actually pretty good for my purposes. Main problem is when somebody decides to use their own shitty cause-of-the-day-championed-by phonetic alphabet for transcription.
Other than that, what isn’t in the text is superfluous and can be cut at will, unless it was in the lecture.
Oh, and plagiarism? Bad. Best way for a student to end up as morning headlines at the campus paper, kicked out of uni, and forced to pay back their loan ASAP without that lucrative job they were aiming for which was supposed to finance it in the first place.
And yet it’s true. The choosing font part may be exaggerated and the research part understated but that’s where the humor comes from.
You do, of course, that analyzing humor is like shooting it; with a gun.
*realize that annalyzing *sigh* why do I even try. *Kills self*
Perhaps I should make a graph of the number of students per semester who I fail for cutting and pasting from Wikipedia. Of course we’re more than happy to take your money for three years and then fail you as a senior when you still haven’t learned to do legitimate research.
I’d think that you could easily find a less expensive way to not learn anything.
Awesome.
But what if they were the ones who edited the Wikipedia page??
(Hypothetically) I do a whole bunch of research and discover towards the end that the wikipedia page is substandard/lacking, after finishing (or nearly finishing) the assignment I decide to edit the page with the information I have.
You receive the assignment, check it, check wikipedia and discover that it’s almost identical (which it would be; I put it there) -> you fail me.
That’s pretty hypothetical. If you edited the Wikipedia page, you could prove that to me, and certainly the part that was identical to the Wikipedia page wouldn’t be the only decent writing in the entire essay.
In fact the students who I’ve failed were not the authors of the Wikipedia pages they plagiarized from. What you’re describing is remotely possible, but is not, in fact, what really happens.
I agree, it’s not likely, but it IS possible. I assume when you deduct marks/refuse to mark, you explain why an give students an oppurtunity to bring a case.
Yes. If it ever happened that the student really were the author of the material that I thought was plagiarized, of course the student wouldn’t be failed for it. But of course that has never happened.
This isn’t about being loose with accusations. Students might believe there’s something subtle about their plagiarism, but in fact there is not. We put some effort into making certain of the offense before we fail ‘em, but it stands out like a sore thumb immediately.
Just failed one yesterday, as a matter of fact.
While assisting in my child’s school the teacher & I noticed that some research papers were virtually identical. I pulled up Wikipedia and there were 14 of the 26 student papers! 5 or 6 more were paraphrased closely enough to be plagerized, too. The principal’s office was mighty crowded that day. Not only were the kids in trouble, their former teachers were read the riot-act, also. They were 7th graders at a school where research papers are “assigned” (walked through step-by-step with lots of hand-holding) in 4th grade. Lesson learned.
THANK YOU! I’m pretty sure this graph was created by my students. Like the three I failed last week for Wikiplagiarism. Seriously guys!? Like I don’t have a computer? When your writing goes from “there idea from the books editors note say this” to “After centuries of foreign occupation and short-lived native dynasties, Iran was once again reunified,” you think I’m not going to notice?! (Wikipedia: Iran p.s.) And do me a favor, when you cut and paste from sites online, don’t choose the first paragraph of the first site that comes up when you google your topic. Sometimes I like a little challenge in discovering your thievery. It’s more satisfying that way. And FYI, I never even notice font/date/spacing unless the content of your paper sucks and you give me reason to find problems. So how ’bout you try thinking on your own and writing a paper that puts those thoughts together in a literate fashion. Thanks.
If you’re not even trying to learn to do legitimate research, why on Earth are you on University?
EPIC FAIL.
I smell a high schooler…
and obviously you put the date it’s due…
pretty much exactly.
yay.
im not the only one who does that date thing.
What? Can’t write a legit essay in a night? Wimps.
lol, WIN
I KNOW, RIGHT? I don’t understand what everyone is “fail”ing – I totally related, and even made my husband read it! This is totally goin on my myspace page! =)
The date you put on the assignment is supposed to be the date it’s due.
Thanks. I was going to pull the MLA card but you did it for me.
Teachers this kid thinks he’s fooling: all of them
Teachers this kid is not fooling: all of them
Bingo. It takes about a minute to learn that the kid who can’t put together two sentences stole the only coherent part of his essay from Wikipedia.
Maybe your current instructor doesn’t care enough to check, but someday you’re going to hit the wall, and all that money you spent on tuition is going to go down the toilet in a wet little whirlpool.
Next time you pay that tuition, take a look at the check you’re sending in before you hand it over. Then ask yourself “why I am so proud to be fool enough to pay all that money and throw it away by cutting-and-pasting my essays from Wikipedia?”.
You’re overlooking the fact that the maker of this graph is, more likely than not, an entitled little snot who just gets his/her checks sent in by mommy and daddy.
In my experience teaching, the students who’re paying their own way are far more likely to have the integrity to fail on their own merit. It’s the ones who’re terrified of being cut off by their parents who think that bullshit like this is acceptable.
Very true.
Sadly (but not surprisingly), mommy and daddy often have the same sense of entitlement.
Sadly, I know for a fact that there are teachers out there who would not be fooled by such a tactic. Or, worse, just not care.
If our society respected teachers more, supported them more, paid them more, then we would see more real intelligent people going into teaching as a first choice, rather than an emergency fall-back. With more competition for teaching jobs, we’d see less lazy/idiot teachers get hired. In my opinion.
Who chooses a font for a title? I haven’t known anyone to do that after the 10th grade.
If you’re relying on that to give your essay the extra sparkle it needs… well, you’ve got more problems than font.
I do. Font, size, position on cover sheet
Mmm, missing a spot for “Trying to come up with the subject”
This guy doesn’t seem very efficient. Spending two-thirds of your time on doing something other than WRITING just seems wrong. Oh, and speaking of writing, he doesn’t have a slice for that. Graph fail.
Odds are, the ‘Writing’ segment should be there, but it got hidden by more important stuff (eg. Making this graph).
Maybe it needs a new slice:
“Time spent making ‘funny’ graphs”
What — no shiny plastic binder?
You guys are supposed to use Goudy Stout, Bold, size 12.5 (assuming 12 point is specified) along with making the punctuation 15 point. And shrink the margins down enough that it’s noticeable. And always use two spaces after each period. That’s how I do my essays, at least.
Actually, when doing a paper for APA format, the font is to be Times New Roman, font size 12, double spaced lines, and one space after each period. Also when doing your reference page, you are to use a hanging indent.
I’m pretty sure he was not being entirely sincere in that post.
Hilarious. People who pull this crap think the professor didn’t attend college as well.
Just do the work, they’ve seen it ALL.
You should probably spend less time choosing a font for your title.
This is SO true!
Two tips:
1) If you spend one day researching, you’ll find the essay isn’t nearly as hard to write the next day.
2) Wikipedia in of itself is rather weak, but it can lead you to good solid sources.
You, sir, actually know what you’re talking about. I like that. But I’d change “rather weak” to “somewhat weak”.
Easy rule of thumb: one GOOD source=one page of essay. When you have too much information to fit the assigned length, then you’ve done enough reseach.
I’m an English professor. And yes, I know when your margins are bigger than 1″, when your font is not size 12 Times New Roman, and when your double spacing is actually 2.5. Do you guys really think that, after reading a million and a half papers, we can’t spot these things? Come on. Give us some credit.
My favorite trick was changing the spacing between the letters. Very, very subtly. In a short paper, doesn’t make a difference, but in a long paper, could can eek out an extra half a page. Great for high school and undergrad, but for my master’s thesis, the library actually has little old ladies go through the manuscript with a ruler. So, back to the standard values for me. XP
Course, it’s not like there’s a required minimum page limit for my thesis anyway….
I have not written an essay like this since elementary school.
What kind of profs allow you to choose fonts? Or use wiki?
Hi, sweetie snowflake.
I regularly FLUNK people like you.
You think your profs aren’t on to your cheating ways?
Wikipedia is ssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooo lame.
Interesting graph…What are the chances this was posted by the student who plagiarized the Wikipedia page I edited and then turned the paper in to me?
HA! That’s classic. Or the student (high school, obviously) who came to class late and gave me “her pass from the math teacher” that had MY signature on it from the week before. Genius.
hahaha. clever.
and so true.
its leik the ppl that write these are following me around…>.>
“Deciding what date to put on it so my teacher doesn’t realise I’m doing it the night before it’s due.”
So true!
I thought I was the only one who did the date thing!
This may be why almost everybody is so damn stupid
this is almost exactly what i do hahah.
except i just reform the sentences off of wikipedia & use a lot of synonyms.
hahahah
i seriously doubt that you spend that much time with the title, i bet that you spend more than 25% of the time looking at Graph Jam