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Types of 911 calls I’ve answered tonight



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Types of 911 calls I’ve answered tonight

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  1. Best Ever says:

    I am not a 911 operator, neither are most people. RELEVANCE FAIL

  2. AlsoWolfman says:

    Ah yes, yet another graph explaining something that happens with absolutely no attention paid to HUMOUR.

  3. Jenni says:

    Still… it seems pretty true. (no, i am not a 911 operator, but boyfriend works as a paramedic, and this stuff’s pretty standard – often things like stomachaches and even splinters get past the operators and they have to go and sort it out)

    • Tara_Lee3 says:

      My Uncle is an EMT. They once were sent “lights and sirens” to a medical call. The girl called 911 and said she couldn’t get the bleeding to stop. Serious, no?

      No. They got there and discovered she had popped a pimple that was now slowly oozing blood.

      Ew.

      • Kookaburra says:

        I’m currently in the EMT program at my college, and that’s what my instructors say. It’s all fake emergencies that get the ALS lights and sirens treatment, then when there’s an MI that happens, there’s no paramedic units left. :-(

        Oh, or it’s drug overdoses, where the pt starts cursing you after you BRING THEM BACK FROM THE DEAD (no breathing/no pulse) for ruining their high…argh.

        • lulu says:

          Well no wonder they curse you. The high is MUCH better when you’re dead…

          • Thompson says:

            I’m an EMT, most of our calls are complete crap. It seems like 99.9% of them come in as “chest pain/difficulty breathing”. I know that SOUNDS serious, but it usually isn’t. Regardless though, we have to treat every case of indigestion just like it was a heart attack.

  4. 7t0ll3rz says:

    what about the calls u didn’t answer cause u were makin this graf?

    • Pete says:

      Because, you know, no one ever uses the internet AT HOME.

    • Miz says:

      What about the classes you didn’t pass because you can’t spell graph?

      • lolnoob says:

        none…?

      • 7t0ll3rz says:

        how did you know i failed “Graph Spelling 101″?

        u must be psykick. if i hadn’t not have failed that class i prolly would have had my mba bye now.

        oh well, life can be cruel sometimes. I wish you had been around then to help me. Perhaps I could half had a better job right now.

        • Thompson says:

          It’s you not “u” and have, not “half”.

          Common sense and spelling skills, you seriously lack.

          • 7t0ll3rz says:

            NE1 see the ironing of me being corrected by a guy that learned sentence structure from yoda?

            • mizzdee says:

              Thompson…sweetheart…it’s called sarcasm =). I’m sure it made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside to correct someone’s grammar on the INTERNET, but it is obvious that it took him a couple more brain cells to purposely fudge up his comment, then it would have otherwise. Also, no one fails classes because they can’t spell; they call it “spellcheck”.

              Before you smart off about someone’s “common sense and spelling skills”, check out your comma usage.

            • English Ed Major says:

              Please… I can’t stand this misery any longer! Capitalize the beginning of sentences, proper names and the word “I.” Learn to spell “Anyone,” “irony,” “You,” “psychic,” “probably, “have.” For the love of God, at least refrain from using double negatives!

    • NoWindowsInDispatch says:

      You’re seriously going to sit there and accuse this person of shirking their duties because they took a few minutes of down time to make a graph? You think that they would actually let an emergency line ring and ring without answering it? This profession is more than a job, it’s a calling. Not just anyone can do it. It’s rewarding but very stressful. The person who made this graph was just taking time to give an outlet to that stress. I know I’m just pissing into the wind trying to get you or anyone else to understand that, but it really annoys me that people think it’s some fluff job and any ‘Joe Slob’ can be a dispatcher.

      • Matt says:

        I know this is old, but I’m a dispatcher and couldn’t agree with you any less. It’s such an easy job and isn’t really stressful. I’ve had a few OD’s die on me and feel kinda bad, but it’s not my fault.

  5. INTJ says:

    I can has douche bag 3 win?

  6. GWN says:

    In northern Ontario, Canada, the local news aired a story asking people to please not call 911 to get the weather conditions. This graph seems totally true.

  7. AitchEll says:

    As a former 911 operator/call receiver, I can totally relate. I even had one woman call to ask me whether to move her clock forward or back an hour for daylight savings…

  8. Brooke says:

    I AM a 911 operator, and this graph is TOTALLY true. Though if I made it, there would be a slice for “cows in the road”, but that might be regional. :D

    • brinnann says:

      *blushes* I called Information once to get the number for our local volunteer fire department because there was a herd of cows dangerously close to a fairly busy stretch of I-10 outside of Houston. But at least I didn’t call 911!

    • somebody says:

      Although, if there really are a bunch of cows on a busy road, that probably IS an emergency due to traffic obstruction, I would think. And you can’t assume somebody else has already made the call.

    • CrankyDispatcher says:

      Ah, rural 911 lines… Cow in road… Cow…. Cow…. METH….. cow….. domestic violence…. cow.

  9. Adhe says:

    I’m not in any related field nor do I know anyone who is and I was still able to easily find humor in this, albeit mild. Any humor is good…maybe if you pulled your head out of your ass you’d see it too. Don’t be a humor snob.

    • Jingles says:

      You threw an “albeit” in there, and you’re calling someone else a snob? Douche bag 4 win.

      • Becca says:

        Oh yeah. The world albeit is totally snobby. WTF.

      • Adhe says:

        I said don’t be a HUMOR snob. I personally enjoy linguistic snobs. (How’s that for grandiose verbiage?) Also, people say “albeit” all the time. At least people who passed 5th grade do. It’s not like I used “banal minutia” or “sequacious” or even better “obsequious”. I have a literacy win. You should try it.

        • somebody says:

          I would personally like to defenestrate Jingles, how about you?

          • Adhe says:

            HAHAHAHA defenestrate! That is an awesome word. I’m going to make it a point to use that at some juncture today. I will also make it a point to use sycophantic and ingratiate =) “His vexatious attempts to ingratiate himself with me makes me want to defenestrate that sycophantic douchebag!” Yay! I’m not sure why, but obsequious is on the MySpace list of moods; I’d estimate about 50 people on there know what it means haha. I use it just because I know it will confuse people and they’ll look it up =)

        • Alex says:

          I love that word…obsequious…and ingratiating, and sycophantic, and…

  10. starshine says:

    I’d like to know how someone would call 911 as a wrong number.

    • lolnoob says:

      i was wondering that too. i lolled at that, i was gonna comment, but alas, you got to it firsties.

      • the_original_shortright says:

        around where i live there are a lot of numbers that follow 991-XXXX, if you’re not paying attention it could end up as a 911.
        not saying that’s how, but it’s a possibility.

    • mistiangel says:

      i =did= call 911 by accident trying to call a number (back in the 7 digit days) that was 931-1xxx (which in those days was the setup for most local radio contest lines)…I hung up and they sent the police to see what the emergency was!!

    • Not Me says:

      Businesses do it all the time, because they have to dial “9″ for an outside line, followed by a “1″ for long distance. If you’re in a hurry, it’s surprisingly easy to double-hit either or both of those numbers.

      Not that *I’ve* ever done that. Oh no, not me! I’m a commenter on a blog; I’m perfect!

      • Not Me says:

        Like, for example, I would never post the answer to a question before noticing that the answer was right below my post. Nuh-uh, never.

      • somebody says:

        The place I work changed the phone system so now it’s “7″ for an outside line, just for this reason-too many accidental 911 calls. Seriously.

  11. erin911 says:

    How does someone call 911 as a wrong number? First they dial 9 to get an outside line. Then they dial 1 as a prefix for a long distance call. Then they accidentally hit one again. Then the poor 911 call taker has to listen to the “beep beep bloop beep” super loud in the ear whilst screaming “911! What is your emergency!”

    • Casey says:

      Ten-digit dialing, simple. Say you live in area code 912 or 913, and dial quickly- how easy would it be to hit 911-xxx-xxxx instead of 912-xxx-xxxx? The “911″ completes the call, with no regard to the other 7 digits.

  12. erin911 says:

    Oh yes, and so very very true. Except that i would replace some of the “actual emergencies” with false police alarms.

  13. Destin says:

    I’m surprised no one has bitched yet about “crank calls by kids with phones”.

    • Phizzle says:

      Isn’t “PRANK” the actual word, not “crank?” Unless kids are calling to brag about the size of their cranks.

  14. Steanne says:

    There’s gotta be some overlap there. Actual emergencies caused by drunken idiots?

  15. Zira says:

    My 18 month old son called 911 by accident a couple weeks ago. I was so embarrassed when the dispatcher called me back. D: He doesn’t get to play with the phone anymore.

    Though when I was 2, I apparently called 911 when my mom collapsed due to an ectopic pregnancy.

  16. CO911 says:

    I am a 911 dispatcher. I laughed at a lot of the comments on here. I get a lot of kids that call mostly by accident. I do get some from kids in emergencies, they are better listeners than adults are and get the info we need for responders. IF you ever call 911 by mistake, just stay on the line and do what the dispatcher tells you then hang up when they say its all good, please don’t just hang up or say “oops, wrong number” and hang up.

  17. mechacaro says:

    Don’t forget about crotchety old folks who will repeatedly call 911 to complain about something that is definately not an emergency. This happened where I work…and I guess it could’ve fit under the “drunken idiots” portion.

  18. Cube Dweller says:

    So there were no drunken idiots having actual emergencies? You’d think there’d be some overlap there.

    • somebody says:

      It’s not the drunken idiots themselves that call when that happens. It’s the passersby that trip over them in the street.

  19. Benny says:

    when my cat was a small kitten she got up on my desk one night and while walking across the big button phone managed to dial 911. For real.

  20. Schrottie says:

    Hehe, I am an emergency dispatcher in germany: Same here, this graph is absolutely true!

  21. moheb says:

    says crank calls

  22. youwish says:

    I used to work as a dispatcher as well….Graph is totally valid and so is calling everyone else who denies its validity an absolute moron…how the hell would you know when you haven’t been there???? Oh, or maybe you’re the f-ups that keep adding to graph…hmmmm….. cheers!

    • Ged says:

      I know this is really late just going thru this in the my down time but I gotta say as a dispatcher I definitely agree with this except it should as have a slice for those calling to complain about how your not doing the job right or the officers didn’t do the right thing… Or how they know the laws of the city/jurisdiction better than the officer… love those ones

  23. D says:

    Oh no kidding… My supervisor told me the same general thing when I started working dispatch. Of course I work for my college’s campus police, so the red section would probably be about 3/4 of the pie chart. Maybe more. Great graph! :)


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