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leading cause of death, jack-o-lanterns


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Graph by kaycem

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  1. Seddah says:

    This is hilarious. Mine always die of blunt force trauma. Or they end up as burn victims.

  2. FaileV says:

    lol i always buried them “alive” fantastic fertilizer

  3. bpe says:

    Is there some significance to the 84.6%?

  4. Kit says:

    Mine always go the way of exposure. However this year, they were chewed on by my cats. Death by feline.

  5. alexandravan5 says:

    Mine die of exposure. Day after Halloween is always below 3 and then the pumpkins sort of become a big mush of orange pumpkin mush.

  6. YZFR6DUDE says:

    Is this a veiled reference to the Smashing Pumpkins??

  7. x-bert says:

    Fail.
    .. Are these causes of the ‘death’ of jack-o-lanterns?… or the causes of death, jack-o-lanterns?
    I’ve never seen a jack-o-lantern caused by blunt force trauma

  8. 3ntropy says:

    I don’t know why I find this so funny, but I can barely hold it in.

  9. nitelite92 says:

    wouldn’t it be something like decapitation, or “gutted like a fish”?

  10. Zera says:

    what about death by explosion?
    i always blow mine up after halloween.

  11. bca says:

    my jack o’lantern died last year by being eaten by an elk. i don’t think that that would fit on a pie chart, other than maybe “completely unexpected ways to kick the bucket”.

    • Not_you says:

      DID SOME1 SEY BUKKIT?!?

    • brinnann says:

      Maybe it would fit under “Natural Death,” because that’s a likely scenario if the pumpkin was in nature rather than your front porch.

      • Western NC man says:

        Elk. Male or Female? I’ve got a special place in my house for one.

        P.S.: It’s called a wall ;-)

        • brinnann says:

          LOL My bosses are avid hunters, and right now there are four deer, a goose, and some kind of mountain goat hanging on our office walls. I wouldn’t be surprised to come in one day to find an elk behind my desk.

  12. ClickClick says:

    My favorite hand carved pumpkin ever eventually died of exposure.
    And that face kept changing and changing.
    Didn’t have a good camera at the time, else would have been a riot
    taking time lapse photos of it. :-]

  13. joe blow says:

    What about death by squirrel?

  14. Western NC man says:

    I smashed mine’s head in with a Louisville Slugger, then fed it to our cows down at the farm. Is it possible that this chat will be redone next year? More options, community votes, more lols… Why does it sound like I’m previewing the sequel to a hit video game?

  15. Literal says:

    Jack-o-lanterns are already dead when they’re carved, as they are a pumpkin removed from the vine. Same as any plant matter removed from its root source. Anthromorphizing fail.

    • Derbomber says:

      Build a bridge and get under it. Troll.

      • Literal says:

        Why is pointing out the obvious trollery? I’m not insulting anyone, yet you feel compelled to insult me. How trollish of you.

    • bpe says:

      OK, so I guess I agree that literally the pumpkin was dead because it was removed from the vine, but this graph’s title is “Leading cause of death, Jack-O-Lanterns”, not “Leading cause of death, Pumpkins”.
      Kind of spooky, but this graph implies that the Jack-O-Lantern may have a life of its own that just begins when it is carved…….

    • LtSarcasm says:

      Anthropomorphism spelling fail.

      As for the graph, Anthropomorphism win.

      • Literal says:

        Sanctimony fail.

        Main Entry: an·thro·po·mor·phize
        Pronunciation: \-ˌfīz\
        Function: verb
        Inflected Form(s): an·thro·po·mor·phized; an·thro·po·mor·phiz·ing
        Date: 1845
        transitive verb
        : to attribute human form or personality to
        intransitive verb
        : to attribute human form or personality to things not human
        — an·thro·po·mor·phi·za·tion \-ˌmȯr-fə-ˈzā-shən\ noun

    • Cherry says:

      *Anthropomorphizing.

      Fail.

  16. MettanAtem says:

    This year, my pumpkins died of NATURAL CAUSES.

  17. fubuki says:

    Thanks for the reminder. My pumpkin is still out on my front porch, presumably dying a slow, decomposing death, and leaving an icky mess for me to clean up. I said it last year, I say it this year, and I’ll say it again next year: I swear next year I’ll throw out the pumpkin before it turns into a pile of orange feces.

    • Western NC man says:

      If you need help remembering to throw the jack-o-lantern out, I’ve got a scimitar that might be able to help….

  18. BBkat says:

    Wish I could add to favorites.
    Awesome graph.


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