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Things I (16 year old boy) Care About


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  1. bri-la says:

    perv. lol.

  2. Stevo says:

    phirst!!!!!

  3. ME says:

    Shouldn’t (16 year old boy be marked out and replaced with ALL MEN

  4. sean says:

    sexism fail

    • jack mehoff says:

      Wrong. Sexism WIN.

      *masturbates*

    • Neil says:

      it’s not sexism if he’s honest about himself. it’s only sexism if he characterizes women as being nothing more than boobs, which he hasn’t. so put that PC gun away.

      • sean says:

        I will nevar put mah PC gun away! mwahahahaha

      • Q says:

        Maybe you havn’t noticed yet but sexism is not only possible in connection with women. This is sexism agains men because he assumes, that this chart applies to every 16 year old male.
        Just for the record….
        Anyway, this chart and the prejudice it presents isn’t even funny, just lame!

        • Xtreme says:

          English plz kthxbai

          • Turk says:

            That is English. Use a dictionary if you don’t believe me.
            Ironic, isn’t it, that you think ‘words’ like “kthxbai” count as English, but words like “sexism” and “prejudice” aren’t …
            “kthxbai” looks more like the product of a seizure while typing (or keyboard tourettes) than English to me.

        • Neil says:

          A great point — but subtly averted by his use of “Things I Care About” rather than “Things A Sixteen Year Old Boy Cares About.” (The parenthetical comments about him being sixteen are just explanatory.) Had he titled the graph as relating to all sixteen year old boys, I’d agree. But he didn’t. It’s a subtle difference; and one could argue that the implication is there; but he didn’t cross the line of sexism towards boys. So, one more PC gun back in the holster. :-)

          • umm...hello? says:

            I think that 16 is probably close to the stage in all men where the male hormones are pretty much running the show. With this being said, the sad truth is that the hero and economy pies are greatly exaggerated.

            sexism? how about reality.
            …..that and boobies rock.

            *masturbates*

            great now i feel ashamed…..

            *masturbates again*
            ahhh, that’s better.

        • Urdumb says:

          You’re either homosexual (if you are that’s a personal choice), female, or not 16 yet. Every boy thinks about boobs quite a lot when they’re 16. I’m going on 19 and I’m still in that phase myself. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s human nature.

        • aeleb says:

          it does not say that all 16-year-olds feel this way. it says what this one particular 16-year old cares about.

        • wrincewind@jackwatkins.com says:

          no he doesn’t: re-read the title. thinks that i care about, with the qualification that he is a 16 year old male.

        • Flobberworm says:

          It’s not actually, because he hasn’t said all 16 year old boys, just himself who happens to be a 16 year old boy.

  5. Not_you says:

    strangely enough, my personal update to the above graph – “Things I (34 year old man) Care About” is pretty much identical, with the exception that “Heros” slice has been replaced with “Football”. weird.

    • Gorgonzola says:

      My version of the graph has the economy slice replaced with finding a job.

      Otherwise, very accurate indeed.

      • MEH. says:

        HAHA, dang that had me chucklinz at the notion that finding a job is such a small slice in comparison to boobs. +1 sir.

  6. A lady. says:

    Seriously. Have some respect. This offended me, and I am not easily offended.

  7. emily says:

    I’m sorry, I know as a girl i should find this offensive but i really don’t. I find it rather funny.

  8. e says:

    Also a lady.

    Still thought it was kind of funny :3

  9. Somehow, this graph might have been more funny if it had two circles instead of one, but I can’t work out the details.

    • Ben E. says:

      Agreed. Perhaps a vinn diagram?

      • leah says:

        Maybe “Things I think about in school (the economy)” & “Things I think about at home (Heroes)”

      • sophie says:

        yes! That was my thought exactly. And all those other females who were offended will probably try to kick me out of the gender for this but still:
        A very simple venn diagram for an even more simple-minded boy than the op. Each circle is a breast (labled left and right) and where they meet, forming cleavege, “both!”
        Because really, what is one boob without the other?

        • Neil says:

          But, really, how can breasts intersect? I mean, have you ever seen intersecting boobs in your life? (And, if you have, were you on a 4th dimensional plane or on drugs?) So it’s impossible for an intersecting venn diagram to represent boobs.

          (Just giving you a taste of your own medicine here, being ultraliteral and nitpicky about the graph suggestions. ;-) )

      • aeleb says:

        venn, not vinn.

    • a.l. says:

      Concentric circles!!!! “Boobs” obviously the largest outer ring, followed by “Heroes” for the areola, and finally “Economy” is the itty bitty nip.

      • Neil says:

        That would have been funny! :-)

      • sophie says:

        while it would insite more giggles, it would bother me so much. What is a single boob? I mean, as someone with a pair myself, I would just feel unbalanced with one. And as I said above, one is kind of useless (unless you’re actually breast feeding…)

        And as someone else said, your ears should be warm….

        • Neil says:

          It’s SYMBOLIC, sophie, it’s SYMBOLIC. I think this wins the Nitpicky Comments of the Year award (unless you’re joking, in which case, OK… :-) )

  10. 216 says:

    Fact: All women have boobs.
    Fact: All men, especially ones that are 16, like them a lot.
    Fact: The species would cease to exist if this boob love didn’t persist.
    Conclusion: If you are offended by boobs, you’re offended by your own existence. People that hate themselves should seek professional help.

    • sri says:

      I’m more offended by the generalisation of the entire population of males..

      • 216 says:

        I’m offended by the fact you can’t spell. I can’t stand people that can’t spell. Kindly remove yourself from the conversation until you can spell.

        • Pretentious White Girl says:

          I suggest you look in a British dictionary. And maybe take a little WD-40 to that mind of yours; it doesn’t seem to be opening very easily.

          • nameless says:

            *applauds*

          • Dennis says:

            VERY TRUE!!!

            I’m an American and I realize (or realise…) that things are spelled differently in America than they are in other English-speaking countries.

            So…before you go bashing the way other people spell certain words, you mgiht want to look into it.

      • Neil says:

        The title says things *I* care about, not all men, and not even all sixteen year olds.

        • tinytank says:

          Actually, I think Sri is responding to 216’s response in regards to a generalization of all males – especially since his response is threaded to 216’s response.

          • MEH. says:

            Even though it’s kind of dumb to be offended by that. Seriously, what is with all the offended people in this thread? Grow a pair, people. Failblog for all of you.

    • Ryan says:

      What about gay men?
      Only those interested in big gay men would care even remotely about moobs.
      What about men with irrational aversions to anatomical features? I know plenty of girls who think feet are gross.

      • leah says:

        And men allergic to breast milk?

      • 216 says:

        First: Men who don’t like boobs, are boobs!
        Second: Male homesexuals are not men, they’re male homosexuals.
        Third: We’re not talking about feet. Feet are gross. People with foot fetishes are sick. A foot is like an ass attached to the bottom of your leg. They do a lot of work and are very important, but should be disregarded in matters of sensuality.
        Fourth: We’re talking about 16 year boys. I’ve never met a 16 year old boy adverse to tits. Even gay 16 year olds are obsessed with them because they would probably be happier if they had some of their own.
        Thus: We all like boobs and there ain’t a damn thing anyone can do about it.
        I like your argument though.

        • Phaedrus says:

          About your third point: “A foot is like an ass attached to the bottom of your leg.” I’m not sure being like an ass counts as something negative–most men enjoy asses, too, and that applies to both hetero- and homo-sexuals.

          • 216 says:

            I was referring to the function of the body part, not the aesthetic. Although, just like the ass, the foot has to be exceptional, to be considered lovely. I made the mistake of thinking most people would come to that conclusion. My bad.

      • Seth says:

        How many gay men do you know? I lived in San Francisco for over ten years, half my friends were gay men, and ALL of them liked boobs. Ever watch ‘Will & Grace?’ Jack is all over Karen’s boobs, all the time, and that is realistic from my experience. Gay men don’t like pussy, but they sure love boobs.

  11. Neil says:

    Mine would replace Heroes and Economy with Finding Stuff To Waste Time With On The Internet and … well, I guess it would just be those two. :-)

  12. Bob Dole says:

    if you are referring to Heroes the TV show than that fits in the category of boobs too. Go hayden panettiere

  13. Mr. L says:

    Asses are better.

    *fap fap fap fap fap*

  14. fodder_princess says:

    Do I gotta be a lady to be offended? I got bib boobs, does that help?

  15. gina says:

    I have boobs and I’m not offended – I am quite partial to mine!

    Plus, Heroes FTW!

  16. Gwin says:

    Care about boobs, but not the economy? So you’re a Palin supporter then?

  17. Sparky says:

    In my graph, Heroes would take up most of it…
    *shakes head sadly*

  18. thelorax says:

    I like this graph. The creator is telling us what he likes.
    People getting offended by one person expressing their innocent opinion about what he likes scare me. I am going to make a generalization, but you are probably one of those people that write the FCC every time you see a gun on TV.

    It is an innocent graph of what one 16 year old boy cares about. It is not about you, and he didn’t put up any pictures. Get over it.

  19. Seamus says:

    Good thing 16-year-olds can’t vote in the U.S.

  20. 16 year old girl says:

    What about those of us who have small boobs? : (

    • Jim says:

      I think we all like small boobs as well. Hell, they’re still boobs, and that’s what counts.

    • easily offended says:

      Boobs are boobs, no matter shape, size, creed or nippleness.

    • JM says:

      At least half my guy friends (and me) prefer small ones to big ones. No worries!

      I do, however, have a problem with the year of vintage of your boobs. Waaaaaay off limits.

    • Neil says:

      Size doesn’t matter, just shape. Big, small, they’re all good (“for one and all”? hehe). The only thing you can do to a boob to ruin it is stuff it with silicon. Uggh. Worst thing ever. The only thing implants are good for is for getting guys to look at you from across the room. But that’s it. Underneath, they suck (no pun intended). So, if you’re ever tempted to get a boob job, just don’t. Stuff your bra if you have to, but don’t ruin a perfectly great thing with that nonsense.

      (This message brought to you by boob lovers everywhere. :-) )

      • Whoah nelly says:

        Hold up there…

        I will completely agree about the vintage thing, personally age them over 25 years before I like them, but totally cannot support the hating of the augmented ones.

        Big, small, symmetrical, imbalanced, artificially enhanced, don’t care. They’re all nifty. Only way to ruin them is to attach them to a head case. Honestly great boobs attached to a psycho is right up there with war and famine. It’s just a crying shame and waste of a wonderous natural resource.

        Oh, and offended lady? If you don’t think that most all men are rabidly fond of boobs all of their lives, your significant other just figured out that to see yours, he has to agree with your point of view… :)

        • Neil says:

          Well, I respect your point of view (and, obviously, there are people who like fake boobs when they’re undressed, or they wouldn’t be so popular). But I have to say that when I see a pair of fake boobs, it’s just the biggest turn-off for me. The pair can be perfectly sized and shaped (for fakes ones, anyway); and yet, the minute I see they’re fake, I’m like “Uggh.” No interest at all, really. So that’s my POV anyway.

      • ladyrazzle says:

        I love you lovely boys and your love for boobs. And I love that most of you (I stress most) couldn’t give a rat’s arse about how they come, as long as they come.

        As a lovely Ex once told me; “When my head is stuck in between them, all I care about is that my ears are warm.”

        • Neil says:

          And we love you lovely girl and your lovely boobs. ;-)

          “couldn’t give a rat’s arse about how they come, as long as they come.”

          Yes, we always want boobs to come. (Huh? ;-) )

          “all I care about is that my ears are warm.”

          That’s so sweet! Should be on a Valentine’s card or something…

          Darling when I’m with you
          And my head is between your boobs
          All I care about is that my ears are warm
          And that they’re warmed by none other than you!

          (Brings a tear to one’s eye. :’-) )

    • 16 year old girl says:

      Totally not gonna lie, that made me feel better…

      YAY TITS? : )

      • Neil says:

        Well, good! Don’t give into the BS that surrounds you in TV and movies and advertising, that you have to look a certain way or have an ass like this or boobs like that or whatever. You’re made the way you’re made, and keep your body healthy and fit, and you’ll be beautiful regardless of what shape or size you come in (hmm, that sounded dirty…). Just be yourself and be the most beautiful self you can be — both inside and out (and a beautiful inside is worth a lot more than a beautiful outside in terms of attracting guys for more than one night).

        So I’m glad we could make you feel better. Since boobs make US feel better, it’s only fitting that we made YOU feel better! ;-)

    • aeleb says:

      you’re only 16. plenty of time left for growin’. i’m sure they’ll be lovely.

  21. femmegaychick says:

    That graph works for me too…replace the economy with maybe alcohol tho :P

    • Whoah nelly says:

      Props for the gay women!

      Best coworker I ever had was a self exclaimed “Bull Dyke” lesbian. She was a bigger pig than I ever have been.

      (Sigh) I miss working with her. She was cool. (And her girlfriend was SMOKING!!! :) )

      • Neil says:

        I agree. I found that gay women I’ve worked with are more conscientious and work harder than most men, because they’re trying to fit in and be accepted in a man’s world.

        Straight women, on the other hand, usually try to fit in by being cute and charming and sexy (not always — I’ve known a lot of hard-working, conscientious straight women, too).

        But gay women don’t usually play that game. So they’re stuck with just having to be as good or better than men. I’ve respected the professionalism of almost all the gay women I’ve known.

  22. Burnt Eyes says:

    What about the economy of heroic boobs?

  23. Sam says:

    I’m pretty sure it should be 100% boob

  24. Mallory says:

    Boys and their obessions with boobs… Just great.

  25. Gemma! says:

    Lol and LOL for the graph & Palin references.

  26. Em says:

    This is why he is voting for Palin

  27. catgirl says:

    I’m a woman and I wasn’t offended at all; I think it’s hilarious. I think the point of the graph is more about simplicity of life when you don’t have to worry about rent and groceries and the economy in general. Anyway, everyone was a perv in high school, even the girls (except more obsessed with penis instead of boobs).

  28. Mark says:

    wow boobs are that important to you… I think you need to get your priorities straight…

  29. katy says:

    I concur entirely with thelorax, who posted:

    I like this graph. The creator is telling us what he likes.
    People getting offended by one person expressing their innocent opinion about what he likes scare me. I am going to make a generalization, but you are probably one of those people that write the FCC every time you see a gun on TV.

    It is an innocent graph of what one 16 year old boy cares about. It is not about you, and he didn’t put up any pictures. Get over it.

    VERY WELL SAID.

  30. Marion says:

    I think that blue should be “the cheerleaders boobs”

  31. KT says:

    People should really loosen up, its JUST A JOKE. srsly, you phail.
    I’m a 16 year old girl and I lol’d. up tight women are annoying, IT’S JUST A DAMB GRAPH ¬¬

    • Neil says:

      Amen, sistah!

    • Brian says:

      I agree completely. It is a JOKE graph. On a site full of…JOKE graphs! Anybody who took this seriously needs to get their head out of their arse, and learn to appreciate the finer things in life. (Like humor, or Boobs!)

      • Brian says:

        Also:

        While it would be great if it was true, I think some of those who have defended this graph may have looked into it a little bit TOO much. It’s not “one person’s honest opinion” more than likely, or some other deep, thought-inspiring reason. It’s a joke. About boobs. So while I think it’s great that you have been defending the graph, I believe that it’s really a lot simpler than it is made out to be.

        In closing,
        ( . ) ( . )

        That is all.

  32. KT says:

    *dumb
    typ-o

  33. I'm bringing funny back says:

    Seriously guys? Seriously? Can’t you just laugh at a funny graph without reading into the perveness, nerdiness, or stupidity of it?

    It’s just funny. Whether it’s true or not, it’s funny.

    People these days…

  34. Gm says:

    Would be much better with circle within a circle graph: yellow on outer part, blue in the areola-e part, and the red in the middle kinda nipplin about.

  35. Gm says:

    Would be much better with circle within a circle graph: yellow on outer part, blue in the areola-e part, and the red smack dab in the center kinda nipplin about.

  36. Bentley says:

    I am a gay 15 year old, and I do not endorse this graph.

    • aeleb says:

      does it say anything about homosexuals? does it say that this applies to all boys around this age? no. way to fail at understanding what the graph says.

  37. Benz says:

    I actually can’t believe this one 16yo boy’s oversimplification of reality has turned into this epic long discussion about abolutely nothing. It’s like watching Seinfeld.

  38. Benz says:

    and as for that lady who is “not easily offended”, maybe a walk on the sketchier side of the world wide web will open your eyes.

  39. BlackKite says:

    Also, if boys didn’t love boobs so much, how would there be babies? It’s the whole point for guys to be attracted to women and eventualy have kids, or else the human race would die out.

    • AIP says:

      What?
      That doesn’t make any sense, so a guy has to be attracted to a woman, fair play, but what have her breasts got to do with it?
      How old are you? 15?

  40. OFFENDOR says:

    FUUUUUUCK YOU ALL I HAAAATE NIIIIGERS, ARE YOU OFFENDED NOW?

  41. Stu says:

    16 yo NERD, u forgot the nerd part.


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