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I kept reading it as ‘Large Hard-On Collider’…then I realized I was wrong, and the graph became like 94.6% less funny.
Don’t ever cross the streams. Especially with hard-ons. Ewww…
And which streams are we speaking of here? I’m blonde, you have to explain these things.
He is referring to the streams of matter and energy that are created after the particles are smashed
Thanks God, you’re always lookin out for me… But how the hell was I supposed to have guess that from Brewski’s comment?! Gah!
haha Ghostbusters reference!!!111!!!
Unintentional Ghostbusters Win?
Brewski – intentional or unintentional? Inquiring minds want to know!
I’ve seen that DVD… I was shocked that the Vicar owned it…
Graph interpretation. Ur doin it wrong.
When manliness collides!
FTW ^^^
Well, you know, just because they turned it on, doesn’t mean it will/was going to destroy the earth… We just got to wait until they start smashing particles.
They had a basic run, shooting particles around the loop, but I don’t know if they smashed any yet. And then it broke. So if the world is going to be destroyed, it will have to wait until spring now.
Particle physics gives me a Hadron
I lol’d. Thank you.
lol nice
This comment wins.
I want this on a T-shirt
I’ve already seen it on several T-shirts.
I call shenanigans on plagaristic OP.
OMG! The Large Hadron Collider will NOT destroy the Earth! There are two particles going the opposite way smash into eachother at 2 times the speed of light, when they collide it will be one thousand times as hot as the sun, it may create a tiny black hole but it will be SO small and last SO short it won’t do ANY damage!!!!!!!!!
“2 times the speed of light”
Physics EPIC FAIL.
He’s not far off. Sort of.
When they collide, each proton will have a speed almost the speed of light (about 99.9999%); so there combined speeds can be said to be almost twice the speed of light.
But it gets odder after that.
*their combined speeds
(before anyone else gets pedantic)
I was talking about how it gets odd after that. The particles do not collide with a momentum corresponding to 2*c. Or 1.9999*c.
actually, part of what they’re hoping to find is evidence of tachyon particles, which theoretically do travel faster than c. sorry. physics fail – unfail!
I was under the impression that the people currently looking for evidence of a tachyon were only doing so because it’s the easiest way to reconcile string theory, which was originally very simple and elegant (which is why it garnered so much support after years of sitting on a back burner), and quickly grew more complicated and unverifiable because of many solvable equations producing infinite values… I could be wrong, but the evidence for a tachyon is largely “well, if this equation is going to work, there has to be a particle that behaves like X. We know (think) this isn’t currently possible, but we like the theory so much that we’re going to say it is and hope it shows up later.” (and if it doesn’t we can find a clever reason in the equation it would only be visible at even higher energies or so forth)… not that string theory NEEDS a tachyon… but it would make things easier…
in any case, saying that the LHC was made to look for tachyons seems somewhat misleading to me, given my (VERY basic) knowledge
edit*
“in any case, saying that the LHC was made (partially) to look for tachyons seems somewhat misleading to me, given my (VERY basic) knowledge (since it seems that discovery of tachyons, even looking for such particles, would be a nice sife effect/effort, but hardly a main focus, since we’re fairly certain tachyons dont exist)
and theres a 50% chance I could be 100% wrong, i certainly dont presume to know anything:E
the best part is the “countries not YET destroyed…”
Epic graph. Love it.
i’m sorry, but this is not funny. the LHC can’t destroy any countries; the use of ‘yet’ in this sense communicates a complete ignorance of science rather than a good joke. And anyway, it’s the large hard-on collider, and always will be! Everyone knows that
wow. sense of humor = fail.
a kid in india committed suicide because he thought the world would end when they flipped the switch… and his world did… maybe we should include that on the graph…
Mental illness can cause unpredictable behavior. So very sorry to hear about this kid.
Actually, it was a girl that committed suicide. (Cue rainbow text) TEH MOAR U NO!!! (/rainbow text)
The joke is the fact the media has suggested that it will destroy the earth. The graph maker was portraying their ignorance in a comedic fashion. Learn what comedy is.
sorry but it’s kinda hard to get all that from a dull diagram. excuuuuuuuuse me princess!
I’ve been wondering about colliding with BC-Jen.
I think most of the posters here have.
I never thought i’d see a resonance cascade, let alone create one
We’ve assured the Administrator nothing will go FAIL
the problem with this graph is that it is a snapshot in time…
for an up-to-date assessment of this situation, please visit http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/ (yes, it is a functional URL).
you’re welcome.
Thanks for that tip, I’ll check it often because we may have sucked into a black hole and popped out the other side without even knowing it .
Now THAT makes more sense!
This is funnier than the graph!
The View Source made me snarf.
LOL. hadn’t seen that, thanks for pointing that out. some real gems in there, copied below (i had to change less-than and greater-than with square brackets, in order to get the code to display here:
.
[script type="text/javascript"]
if (!(typeof worldHasEnded == “undefined”)) {
document.write(“YUP.”);
} else {
document.write(“NOPE.”);
}
[/script]
[!-- if the lhc actually destroys the earth & this page isn't yet updated
please email mike@frantic.org to receive a full refund --]
I lol’d
Win
yeah someone needs to explain this to me….
Just think of it as the Large Hard-On Collider, it’s funnier that way
Will do.
Finally a graph that is not just a music or tv reference. The sad thing is I would assume that 99% of people probably wiki’d as soon as they saw it. Oh well, thanks for the laugh s. dubbs.
i had a smudge on my monitor and for a moment there portugal looked like it was destroyed.
Shoulda put on there graph/map is subject to change
Please to keep graph updated? I want to know if I’m about to disappear!
go ahead and assume you will laugh at this comment
*pauses for laughter*
i struggle with chronic suicidal urges, often brought about by feelings of powerlessness to control circumstances that may result in being physically hurt or killed, or witnessing emotional and/or physical pain to those i love.
i come to these sites to get a quick laugh and some witty banter.
this LHC stuff is FREAKING me out. not enough that i am going to need to run out and get myself locked up for my own safety but i really hate it being on the site.
because really, if we all get destroyed, no one will ever know. if we don’t, then yay. but really, could you be the one to turn it on? knowing what *could* happen, could you turn it on?
i think that i started this comment to say that i can relate to the girl who killed herself…that amount of fear can be crippling.
it really ran long though…
go about your day.
*pauses for laughter*
Yes, i do know that they turned it on already. could you turn on the part that will smash the atoms together is what i meant.
Honestly, why commit suicide before it happens? Even if it does destroy the Earth, it would be painless, and you would get that much time to spend on Earth doing whatever you want.
“knowing what *could* happen”
What COULD happen – Gamma-Ray Burst within 500 light-years of earth. That COULD happen. There’s convincing scientific proof that it HAS happened close to Earth. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamma_ray_burst)
Not one – NOT ONE – real scientist has stated that there’s even a remote chance of something bad happening at the LHC. The worst that will happen already has – a circuit blew and the scientific community has to spend EVEN MORE money and time to fix it.
“Yes but what if?” And what if there are Giant Pink Carnivorous Unicorns about to appear from another dimension? We can’t prove there’s not, correct?
For those of you who have just enough brains to be intellectually dangerous, please go watch football.
For those of you (having been one) who have self-destructive thoughts, go get help. It is worth more than I could ever type here.
touche on the first 2 paragraphs, but after that it’s kinda weird
“because really, if we all get destroyed, no one will ever know.”
Not true. IF a black hole is created and IF it survives long enough to start chewing up the earth it will actually be a drawn out event. We will be able to watch as the earth is consumed for quite some time before the damage is bad enough to kill us. Which it would inevitably do.
OH! now i feel much better.
thanks!
Jefoid, I now christen thee ‘Captain Bringdown’!
I only wish I had the math skills to know if it would be weeks, months, years… whatever. It would start out VERY small, so my guess is it would take a long time. I presume it would oscillate back and forth through the earth carving an increasingly large trail until the earths crust eventually failed and falls into what remains of the mantle.
No question it would suck. Here’s a thought, if it would take a long time, maybe it already happened.
Relax Maggie, ain’t gonna happen.
The world may not be destroyed but doesn’t mean its not the best date line ever… hey the world is going to be sucked out of existence, you want to get it on?
The large Hadron Collider is the world’s largest particle accelerator (“atom smasher”) and some people were worried that turning it on would create a black hole (due to the immense amounts of energy being used) that would destroy the planet.
Evidently, it didn’t happen.
A good graph, if you know what it means.
Actually, it was powered up; but no collisions occurred. The worry is about what may happen when particles collide inside it.
It’s not the power creating the black hole, it’s the particles colliding with each other. That won’t happen until sometime around mid-October. It could still happen. It probably won’t, but that’s not what -they- want you to think.
Just a side note, many of the theories about destruction of the earth is about a particular test they will be running with the LHC, this test will likely be run for the first time in October, this test has not been ran yet, so they certainly can be correct that that test will destroy the Earth.
Oh and personally that would be great, you could be in the afterlife and realize “I might have been a screw up but hey I didn’t destroy the Earth”. 99.9999 percent of the people in the afterlife would feel better because of that fact.
Well, I laughed.
That has no relevance to anyone’s interest.
My useless two cents – I think this LHC media attention is becoming the next Y2K. Honestly.
Hey baby, the world might end, mind if I collide you with my Hardon?
now THAT was funny
Best pickup line.
EVAR.
Check out the LHC’s live webcam: http://lhccam.com/
That’s just depressingly ignorant!
it’s what I mean by the media hype – making people believe that they’re gonna die!
Even so, I have to admit I lol’d =]
Making people believe they’re gonna die? C’mon, it’s obviously a joke. I saw that site before & thought it hilarious. Passed it on to a bunch of friends who thought so too.
Sorry but if people are terrified by this, then they’re the sort who get scared from every new report that comes out from the dangers of caffeine to the possibility that you’re doomed to be a psychopath because your first grade teacher told you to stand in a corner. People like that should sell their computer & stick with watching reruns of some lame 50s TV comedy like I Love Lucy if they want humour & leave the internet alone.
If you refresh it, it does it again, too.
FFS people! the Large Hadron Collider (or large hardon collider if you’re a perverted little person like that -. -) will not destroy the earth. There is however, a minute chance that they will create mini black holes, as the energies involved may be turned into mass (wiki to find out how if your head isn’t prone to blowing up in the face of complicated science) and create black holes.
HOWEVER – do not panic! the black holes, if created will be too small to create any large amount of damage, and will dissipate within a fraction of a second anyway. When I say tiny, I mean tiny. To squish the earth down enough to be a black hole (a black hole is just a very dense object) it would be less than 1 centimetre across. The black holes that probably won’t be created would be a fraction of this distance across, and the event horizon (how close light can get before being unable to escape, and the bit we see as black) would be smaller than the inside of the pipe, so there is no need to worry. Because of the concerns about safety, a body of independant and neutral scientists were charged with assessing the risks involved. They gave it the all clear.
As the late Douglas Adams (RIP )= ) would say in large, friendly letters:
DON’T PANIC
On a more personal note, I do find this funny, and lol’d when I saw it, but it’s just the way that the media puts it across to people that really depresses me. If someone who didn’t know that there was nothing to worry about saw this and heard all the media crap, they would understandably be worried.
And, one more time in case you are just reading the bottom lines of the posts: Don’t worry. The world won’t end. SERIOUSLY! I mean, do you really think that the people who know most about what will happen would turn it on if there was any real risk?
And as a quick footnote: there are far more energetic collisions between all kinds of particles, not just protons, going on in our own atmosphere right now. yes, even as you sit reading this, above your head particles are colliding with greater force than we can produce at the LHC, even after upgrades.
The reason we need to build this £5,000,000,000 machine (about US$9 – 10,000,000,000) is that we can’t easily measure these, as lugging the great big detectors miles high would be impossible, and even if we could the collisions are random and unpredictable – we wouldn’t know where to look.
Thank you, THANK you! A voice of reason. Not sure many will pay any attention as logic & common sense are far too boring for most & people would rather believe the weird, the inconceivable & downright stupid stuff instead as it brings a sense of danger & excitement to their otherwise dull mundane existence.
If anyone doesn’t believe this, try explaining what Knowledeable just explained to someone & see how much it holds their interest. Then, try explaining how the Universe might end thanks to this new fangled gimmick mad scientists are using. I rest my case.
Every single attempt at humour on here has been said countless times on all of the *chans.
Yes, because we all visit *chan, and spend enough time there to be up to date on every single LHC quip that has been made…
It has more change of collapsing the vacuum of space then creating a black hole, just incase anyone cares.
Its Hadron, dumass.
It’s dumbass, dumbass.
To the scientists working on the LHC, please remember:
The World Ends With You.
I thought it was funny.
The media likes overlooking the fact that these are scientists who want answers, not the Heaven’s Gate cult looking to ride off on the next comet. If I had to place a bet, the bet would be that the scientists in charge of the LHC aren’t out to kill themselves and take the world with them.
I might be wrong.
Even if I am wrong, the graph is funny.
All your subatomic particles are belong to us.
In Russia, you belong us to subatomic particles.
Whatever!
lol I know what the hadron collider is and all, but when I first read this it looked like HARD-ON collider. LOL