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Practical Uses of Keys (according to my ex-girlfriend)


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Graph by Mike

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  1. adskfjö says:

    meh..

  2. Morgan says:

    I think this should’ve been a different type of graph, methinks…

    • Morgan says:

      Sorry for the redundancy.

    • Eddy says:

      Yeah, unless she’s keyed the car 16 or so times compared to the 17th time, when she unlocked it. There’s a frakking lot of fail on this site when it comes to these graphs- arbitrary numbers assigned for values in bar graphs, things expressed in pie charts that have nothing to do with percentages…

      • Mike says:

        I made the graph to try and bring humor to an otherwise serious/angering situation, not to impress people with my knowledge of what graph is the correct one to use in what situation.

        • Eddy says:

          You know, it would be a lot funnier if you had a correct graph. What I really enjoy about graphjam is that it takes data out of situations that don’t really require graphs and makes rather exacting, technical diagrams to explain things that really don’t need graphs. Its the absurdity of the concept I enjoy, not so much the individual situations or jokes.

          • Mike says:

            All you’ve done is criticize my ability to use the correct graphing style, but you never told me which type would be more appropriate. This is me being curious, not a smartass: what graph type would you suggest to make it funnier?

            • Eddy says:

              Well, if you had better representative data (massive amounts of key in lock use versus a small amount of key on car use) compared to say, a chart of the amount of her key use that has upset you (which would be 100% key on car use) you’d have something both accurate and descriptive of the situation.

              • Neil says:

                It would be accurate, but it wouldn’t be funny. The humor in this graph is the exaggeration of the situation, not a realistic presentation of the actual numbers.

                Plus, you continually say that he’s using the wrong graph *type*; yet all you criticize are the actual numbers he uses, not the graph type. So, do you know the difference between graph *values* and graph *type*? Something tells me that you don’t.

                Either way, the fact remains that I find this graph funny because it’s an absurd exaggeration of a situation, not because it’s statistically accurate.

                • Eddy says:

                  Well, the numbers chosen simply aren’t accurate. Some other types of graphs might not require numbers, such as a venn diagram. Pie charts, however, inherently require numbers as they imply a percentage. If the data range was limited to say, day the car was keyed, it might be different (say, 1/5 of key use that day was on a car). I think a line graph might maintain humor and accuracy, plotting appropriate uses of keys against days used (or perhaps stages of a relationship?)

                  Also, I love that my criticisms bother you enough that you continue to berate me. Are you personally bothered by my stickling for accuracy?

                  • Alex says:

                    I actually see the pie chart as effective. Regardless of the numbers, the
                    measurement in the graph is “total time my ex-girlfriend uses her keys”,
                    and the percentages show how much of that total time is used for what
                    purpose. I naturally saw the larger percentage first, then moved in
                    the direction of the small percentage, where the punchline lies, “Unlocking Things”.

                    I think a line graph would now show the contrast as well visually
                    (i.e. showing a large line and a short line), versus a huge
                    massive piece of pie embracing a tiny one.

      • Neil says:

        It’s supposed to be funny, Eddy. Exaggeration is a form of humor. Ever hear comedians say something like, “The last time I had sex Nixon was running for office,” or something like that? It’s meant to be funny.

        If you want scientifically accurate charts, I suggest you find a different site. This is a comedy site, not a news or science site.

  3. Kaiser Steve says:

    Graph type fail.

  4. Nauds says:

    SUX 4 U!

    Ololololol.

  5. Mike says:

    lol, i make a graph to express a point and people get irritated because i didn’t use the correct type of graph to express said point?

    shut up, understand the joke, and move on

    christ

    • Neil says:

      Don’t let it get to you. These people nit-pick over every graph they see, every time there’s the slightest flaw. It’s because they have nothing better to do with their lives, and it makes them feel important if they can point out in imperfection in someone else. Just ignore them.

  6. katy says:

    In case it helps, my first reaction was “Ouch!! Poor Mike!”. Then I wondered what he had done …

    • Neil says:

      someone crazy enough to key someone’s car doesn’t need much of an excuse. i would say that what he did was that he made the mistake of going out with a crazy person for a girlfriend!

      • DanBoul says:

        “It’s chicken shit. You don’t fuck another man’s vehicle.”
        Lance, Pulp Fiction

      • Courtney says:

        I have been tempted to key cars before, but only if they are, say, taking up two parking spots in a full parking lot.

        Never wanted to key an ex-boyfriend’s car though…

        • woo says:

          Selfish parkers deserve everything they get! I usually write angry notes, but I lost my thesaurus.

        • Morgaine says:

          I once put ketchup on tampons and pads and put them all over an exes car, but I have never keyed a car.

          Oh, and I was in high school when I did the ketchup thing. At the time it was hilarious, now…not so much.

    • Mike says:

      lol i didnt even do anything, she was the one who broke up with me, and when i stopped trying to get her back she was like “wtf you don’t want me anymore?” and she keyed my car.

      in other words i didnt do anything, she’s just a psycho bitch ex girlfriend lol

  7. kuribo says:

    If she dug her keys into the side of your pretty little souped up four wheel drive, maybe next time you’ll think before you cheat.

  8. Lilli says:

    Ya know.. I thought it was funny as hell. Good Job

  9. Brett says:

    Now this is funny. My ex got a hold of my hood, broke the key on it.

  10. holy crap… it is just a joke … who cares what graph is used to represent whatever for whatever… the point is that ‘ex keyed car’ …

    i think some of you need cable, or call girls if you’re going to dissect the crap out of something that is obviously not real. without a point, other than mike’s simple intention of “make graph, ex-gf gets to live, mike gets it off his chest”

    i thought it was funny. simple. i didn’t need to dissect the crap out of it… geez…

    it really is true isn’t it? opinions are like assholes…

  11. NotAPoet says:

    I thought the ‘practical uses’ part was pretty funny, because it sets up an expectation of some mundane kind of graph. Then, it creates a nice mental image of this person who is nuts enough to key a car, and sane enough to also do some locking/unlocking. Finally, there is the nice touch of how Mike handles the situation with wry humor when you know he has to be really ticked off.


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