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Ha, and you’re always behind them in the queue while the semi-comatose 15 year old behind the counter struggles to understand.
The semi-comatose act may be intentional. During my tenure as a barista if someone tried to order a beverage while talking on a phone I just pretended I thought they were talking to the person on the phone.
The most obnoxious were the people who continued talking on the phone while attempting to “mime” their order to me. They would ultimately walk away in disgust as if I was somehow the moron in this transaction, or finish the phone conversation and proceed ask me how on earth I could not understand that THIS (swishy hand motion) meant non-fat mocha.
It is an act, I purposefully ignore cell phone orderers, it’s just rude to do that, unless you want all your drinks decaf then hang up
Know what’s even MORE fun? Hearing a customer chatting on the cell phone while they’re in the drive-thru lane. That’s the best time to shout, “THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING STARBUCKS! WHAT CAN I GET STARTED FOR YOU TODAY?!”, preferably in a fake Scottish accent, and then repeat yourself if they don’t reply immediately
You have made my day. I serve drunks in a bar…boy are they gonna be confused!
(Obviously they aren’t in a drive through, which will make the fake Scottish accent all the more confusing)
Make sure you actually refer to your establishment as Starbucks. Especially if it’s nothing like a Starbucks. And if the Scottish doesn’t work for you, try German.
Scottish will work best. You have to say “StarBOOKs” though.
I don’t work at any kind of food service place, but I’m going to start using this all the freaking time..I am crying from laughter!
Done that cept for the accent , so doing that friday morning
I do that every now and then. Funniest thing to do if there’s a drink queue is charge them for two (because most such customers just throw their card at you, without ever listening to what you said), and then give them the two drinks; when asked about the number of drinks reply “One for your friend in the car!”
I apologise to any workers I may have upset with my comment. I know how irritating douchebags like this are, and intended my comment only to get at them.
Um, if you’re “yell[ing], while talking on a cell phone”, while ordering, you’re quite a jerk, even if you order a tall black coffee.
Amen, dm. If someone’s on a cell phone while ordering or picking up their drink, I go out of my way to talk to them more.
thought this one would be funnier.
Ah.
Forget about Starbucks.
It’s over-rated, expensive watered down stuff.
Tim Hortons is awsm.
Tim Hortons FTW!
Why, WHY do I always read that as “Fuck the what?”
1 741|\||373(0|2 |\|33|)5 70 |33 |23(/\|_1|3|2473|)
i M no7 kEwL eNOugH 7O re4d l337…5O wh@ doe2 joOr kommEN7 54Y? I’ll RUn I7 7HroUgh 4 7R4N5L47Or..
It seems to have dropped about half the symbols, but I meant it to say “I think your leet detector needs to be recalibrated”
Finally someone else! I always read it that way…it is all WTF’s fault.
i am so glad i am not the only one.
I’m pretty heavy into tattoo culture, and FTW has a far older and more long-standing definition that goes along with it than the gamer/leetspeek meaning. I was very bewildered by all the geeks I knew suddenly saying “Fuck the world!” in reference to things that were generally positive…
I dunno why I keep hearing this. You must be a Canadian, because the ones down here suck. I can get better coffee at most gas stations.
What’s worse is the index finger up, as if you’re supposed to wait for them.
Everyone knows that only self-righteous douchebags order “regular” coffee at an espresso shop (e.g. Starbucks).
Huh? I think they call themselves a “coffee company.” Our (e.g. everybody but you) mistake.
If there’s a barista, it’s an espresso shop. Simple.
If they’re in an espresso shop, then I’d expect decent pulls. No – the espresso is there simply as a base ingredient – like vanilla, milk and macchiacho juice.
i’m a grande mocha kinda guy…once a month. no shame in treating myself.
Starbucks != Coffee
LOL… bonus points to the OP for putting it all in the “correct” order. Work there?
yea…but what size on that half caf!?
short, fag
I believe you mean “phag.”
you are correct.
oh..and guys dont “treat themselves”, fag.
yes they do, captain douchenozzle.
Um, graph fail.
The bottom text is meaningless in this form of a graph.
You kidding? Bottom text MAKES the hilarity of this graph!
Regardless of whether you meant the axis label or the bar labels, both have a clear meaning, and are entirely appropriate here.
I’m sorry that Vox is so much better than you, GatorCat. I’d graph it, but chances are you wouldn’t understand the ‘bottom text.’
Lol, but isn’t this originally George Carlin’s joke?
Reply to Brit: Yes, I work there. Urban customers have fussier drinks than suburban customers; however, urban customers are more likely to call it correctly to you and waste no time figuring out what they want.
Reply to Gator Cat: Meaningless? Ok. I’ll buy that. But funny? Yeah.
Reply to Dexaan: Maybe it is. But he never had to live eight to ten hours of it a day!
Reply to all: Personally, this little lady drinks black coffee, and the occasional Iced Soy Chai. Maybe a Caramel Macchiato if I’m feeling very needy. Oh, and by the way…my favorite coffee shop ISN’T a Starbucks.
I don’t usually do this, but… No one gives a fuck.
That was a free pointer, and you’re welcome.
Way to be a jerk.
Im a shiftlead at my Starbucks…I just stand there and wait…yes its rude..but some people either lack the intelligence or manners to know otherwise move on. Also Rhiann…its not watered down sorry you haven’t had a proper Starbucks experience. in fact its some of the best you can get. Considering we brew FRESH coffee every 30minutes..offer a wide variety in selection not only in COFFEE(after all it is a coffee house) but also in espresso beverages, and its not overpriced…you are paying for the best quality beans coffee growing regions have to offer.
sorry if I went on a rant.
Go to any place that sells coffee in Italy or to most cafes in Australia (or so help me even in Bali) and you will find out what a real espresso tastes like. Here in Hong Kong pretty much the only options are Starbucks or Pacific Coffee; life is too short to waste it on the cat’s piss they sell.
Well there you go, you’re in HK – the cat piss in the coffee is standard procedure since they use every part of anything they eat.
So…what is the point in using “the best quality beans coffee growing regions have to offer” if you burn them during roasting?
I work at a Barnes and Noble cafe [we're not a Starbucks, we just serve Starbucks coffee... for serious] and I’ve never gotten an order like this. I sympathize. Greatly.
But still, this is hilarious. XD
At my old Starbucks, we had a regular who got a decaf three shot venti skinny mocha, no whip, extra hot, two pumps, and extra foam. (No, that’s not the right calling order, but that’s how she ordered it every day.) For those of you who know Starbucks, you’ll notice that every box on the cup is filled at least once.
We called it a Sue.
Most of the time someone’s on a cell phone in drive-thru, they won’t talk to me except to give the order. Once they’re at the window, they simply stare straight ahead while limply holding out the money and talking on the phone. When it comes time to hand them their drinks and their change I have to practically wrap their fingers around the cup for them because they’re not paying any attention to me. My submission to mystarbucksidea.com was to equip every drive-thru with cell phone jammers so the customers would actually have to interact with the baristas standing two feet away from them.
I’ve never worked at Starbucks, but I have a friend whose dad works at their headquarters in Seattle. One of his co-workers has a standard drink that he orders every morning. In order to speed things up, he got the check boxes with the proper marks in them tattooed on his arm.
He knew some pretty bizzarre people.
The swishy hand motion and the complicated drink orders are a sure sign of someone who contributes nothing to society….yes, I am sure of this.
Why cant people keep it simple?
When I go to a coffee place, usually Cafe Nero as I’m a Brit (sort of proud), I order a Cafe Latte. This is because its already got what I want in it, the coffee, caffine, sugar and usually the spit, but its ok spit as they get paid more…
These people who have the most complicated, f**ked up orders just waste time, as im sure some Barista’s dont bother with all this and just give them a plain coffee or similar. It kind of defeats the object of it being quick as it takes longer to make one of these “Super Order’s” than it does to make your own.
Coffee. Please. Thanks. Good day.
“whatever happened to coffee flavoured coffee?!” (for those of you that know Dennis Leary’s work you may recognise that one). I have had my phone ring while ordering coffee, I felt embarrassed, I apologised – to the person taking the order, not the person on the phone – I always give attention to people serving me (and if they are nice about it / do a good job they get gratitude too) and think that people that treat others poorly are scum. Unfortunately I cannot agree that Starbucks make good coffee – certainly better than some, but not good. As someone that prefers espresso (and if I do have something else and ask for soy milk it is for health reasons, none of that poxy mixing soy with cow’s milk!) Espresso is also the best way to judge if coffee is really good, anything else is coffee in disguise. But if the options are offered some people will take them… that’s ok, coffee should be about enjoyment rather than speed (& that’s from an espresso drinker).
My favorite is when people have NO IDEA WHAT THEY WANT!! so they order one thing at the register…then say thats not what they got and the hand-off plain…priceless
better yet when someone is fishing for freebees!
-lol
I love the people who come in with friends and you can tell that they’ve been (or never been) to a Starbucks before, and they’re chatting away in line about what they’ll get, and then as soon as they get to the register, all thought of drinks leaves their brain and they’re all “Uhh…. I dunno what I want… lemme think…”
And they stand there for five minutes while your co-worker is taking orders and makin’ drinks two and three people down the line.
@CGS
elaborate a little for me I’m just curious
Not to get into a pissing contest with a Starbucks employee, but I meant exactly what I said. Starbucks burns their beans during the roasting process. I love (actually prefer) a good dark roast, have had freshly roasted coffee (roasted on site) and understand that due to the nature of the process coffee is going to have a certain amount of bitterness, but I’ve never had a cup of coffee from Starbucks that didn’t taste like what I imagine battery acid to taste like. I will, however, admit to enjoying Starbucks’ cold specialty drinks when I’m in the mood for such.
Yeah…I’ll agree to an extent because like you mentioned, Starbucks Coffee generally goes darker. and yeah ice drinks at are awsome.
I also envy you for going to a roasting plant! I could have gone a few weeks ago but I had finals >.<
oh i knew this was from a barista the second i saw it. my tenure at starbucks was filled with much of the same…how i DON’T miss it. and get off your stupid phone!!!!!!!
It’s probably already been mentioned before but I can tell this was put together by a barista by the correct drink call. Love it.
Either Level or Jerkitude OR the customer is/was a barista.
Love my job.
Whats wrong with a person ording a specific drink that they like? It makes someone an asshole to order something that they want in a specific manner? I think a person who doesnt know specifically what they want especially pertaining to a coffee-based beverage is an asshole. If you cant even figure out what kind of coffee you want, how the hell are you going to make it through life? Probably by doing whatever is easiest and most socially acceptable. Good luck. Hope your life is as boring as the coffee you drink.
Oh and p.s. Starbucks caters to a specific clientelle so when you dont want to serve the customers that are doing what Starbucks customers will do, then you need a new job. Just remember, you work for a corporation (regardless of how good the benefits are) they do not care about you as an individual and will drop you loose in a second if they feel you are costing them even a penny. So next time you want to be rude to someone who is on the phone for whatever reason (it may be important) the business-types are also the call-your-manager-to-get-you-fired types.
Exactly!
jerk.
Well, it’s mainly the phone thing. If I were in that position, then I would hate, *hate* to be shouted at from a phone. It’s like you’re saying, “My time is far more important than yours. Get me my coffee, you underling”. It’s an issue of respect.
The only way you can really get fired…is if you directly insult a customer.
nothing wrong with subtley
and you absolutely right, people have the right to be as picky as they want with their beverage, but its an issue when it holds up the flow of the store;particularly when you have a line out the door. and someone is on the phone….in there own little…..
world.
My fellow baristas and I decided today that we need to get shirts that say “Yes we work for Starbucks, and yes we judge you by your drink.”
I always want to roll my eyes and tell a man who orders a skinny vanilla latte to man up and sprout a pair. When we have a guy order that, we make of point of calling the drink to the person on bar “I NEED A (insert size here) SOCCER MOM!!”
venti quad caramel mocchiato what does that make me haha.?
A tool?