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Chances of having sex with my wife


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Graph by Arden Varney

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» 44 TPS Reports

  1. durr says:

    4+
    chance of having a wife = 0%

    • LilyDove says:

      How about: Chance of ever having sex at all = 0%

      Trust me, ask my 26 year old brother.

      • Sirrush says:

        not true, i play video games 4+ hours a day generally, and i still have sex with my gf fairly often (like, atleast 4x a week) video games only affect relationships if you let them

        • Squiggles says:

          I played CoD for 5 hours today … I am not fat … I am actually an Olympic swimmer … (call BS see if I care … it’s just true) … I have had sex with my gf 4 times so far today … not to mention a BJ I received WHILE playing … lastly my gf (of 3 years now) works for Next Modeling … very far from ugly.

          … Lucky ppl … We do exist.

  2. Monkey Magic says:

    Oh, I misunderstood this one! I thought it meant “chances of other people having sex with my wife” in which case the graph would go the other way…

    And, um, first, I suppose

    • Demoboy says:

      Calling first is like running in the special olympics. Even if you win, your still retarded.

      • El Guapo says:

        Not knowing the difference between “your” and “you’re” is like running in the special olympics…

        You know how the rest goes.

        • October says:

          I think Monkey Magic was actually calling first for “having sex with [the] wife” in question.
          If so, I call sloppy seconds.
          If not, First!

  3. Smitty says:

    Is that HER playing or MY playing, or a composite of both?

  4. PragmaticCynic says:

    Really, no video games and it’s almost 100%! Need to do it on 3 dimensions to include number of years married. The 0 hours would be much MUCH lower. :-(

  5. MaxwellEdison says:

    Well, I’ve had sex with your wife…and let me tell you…you’re not missing anything.

  6. PragmaticCynic says:

    Who hasn’t ;-)

  7. la says:

    where did your penis go?

  8. El Guapo says:

    Seriously. You don’t just say something like that and then not explain why you don’t have a dong anymore.

    Please, I’m sure there are quite a few of us in here that would be more than interested in finding out in why you don’t have a peener anymore.

  9. SimKat says:

    Hmmm…my fiance could learn something from this graph…oh well, means more Hellgate and Witcher time for me!

    • durr says:

      when you are excited that no sex means more video games, that is a bad thing. unless maybe you are being held captive pulp fiction style, then that would be a good thing.

      • SimKat says:

        Hey I’ll take it when I can get it, but when HE’s playing COD4 all night, I’m just fine with video games ;)

  10. Mongoose says:

    So at 0 hours, your chances are still at only 85%.

  11. tristara says:

    Who is playing the games, the man or the wife? cuz this could go either way really…

  12. FrostySonic says:

    lol, awesome. But it would have been better and more accurate if the line started at like 30%.

  13. Erik says:

    So What are your chances of still being married past the 4 hour mark????

  14. mishi says:

    Uh, as a wife of a gamer, i can vouch for the graphs accuracy… however id rather be getting 100%

  15. LOTRinger says:

    Personally, I think it should say significant other, my friend (who is a girl) has to control her gaming. She will play a video game, straight, until she has beaten it. The latest Zelda game lasted over 24 hours.
    And other reason, I dumped one boyfriend because he always played his video games. After being blow off the tenth time, I got a little perturbed.

  16. SpoonieLuv says:

    ah but at least your Sim’s wife will still have sex with your Sim, so that’s good.

  17. K says:

    I think the poll is incorrect, i played games for hours at a time and still slept with my woman every night… till we broke up :P

  18. NoseMoking says:

    I can’t stop thinking about you baby… and all of the magic coins that I need to collect

    • Shauny says:

      Lol that made me snort coke out my nose :P

      • Shauny says:

        errr I meant coke as in coca cola =P

        • Maddy says:

          if you were putting cocaine up your nose (which I believe is why you felt the need to clarify), then, erm, yes. you just need to get out of the building.

          . . . now, kind of. :O

          unless I’m thinking of crack. I don’t know. my knowledge of drugs isn’t excellent.

  19. NoseMoking says:

    if you like that, line, go listen to the rest of the song – it’s a song called “make you happy tonight” by Aussie comedy band Tripod.

  20. Kendal says:

    I am still looking for a boyfriend, let alone husband, who will be able to incorporate the two. And then pull a George Costanza and throw in a sammich.

  21. oic says:

    What a delightful thought kendal. The sammich would be so sexy

  22. d1stewart says:

    Dude, I am so not going to play any video games.

    Wait a minute… did you mean YOUR chances of having sex with your wife, or anyone’s?

  23. Shahtaj says:

    It is good

  24. jasmine says:

    yeah thats a shame


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