Comments on: Time Spent At My Lifeguarding Job

By: Stuff n Stuff

Stuff n Stuff — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 20:00:56 +0000

Yeah, do you oogle at other men’s genitals?

I THINK NOT???

unless your homosexual. in that case feel free

By: ...

... — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 14:03:53 +0000

I agree. although. If the giving kids band aids was replaced with cleaning toilets, that would sum up my experience as a lifeguard completely.

By: Squee-chan

Squee-chan — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 21:01:39 +0000

Thank you for restoring hope in humanity.

By: David

David — Thu, 07 May 2009 15:24:45 +0000

yeah see you’re not a girl so…. you don’t know that.

By: Amilie

Amilie — Sun, 03 May 2009 19:01:00 +0000

Most of the lifeguards I’ve seen spend 99% of their time twirling their whistle around their finger over and over.

By: Elyssa

Elyssa — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 14:55:34 +0000

Don’t forget about time spent “Practicing saves” after the pool closed, putting brownies in the pool, drinking in the pump room, and all the HTH bombs!

By: Courtney

Courtney — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 22:10:49 +0000

u must be a red cross lifeguard cause i dont see anything to do with actually jumping in and saving lives which i did almost every day at my lifeguard job

By: david

david — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 07:13:23 +0000

but parents always get to them before we do anyway…
but the parents freak out if there kid has a scratch

By: david

david — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 07:12:20 +0000

and then theres the people in the snack shack-
eating food-50%
trying to convince your boss you were eating food-20%
giving the lifegaurds free food behind your bosses’ back-20%
playing ‘noes-goes’ for not doing the snow-cones-5%
freezing lazy jerk’s work shirt-5%

By: david

david — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 06:57:31 +0000

there should be a graph about that-
probability of getting hot girls in bikinis in your section= 1%
probability of getting fat 70-year-old men in your section=70%
probability of getting annoying kids in your section=29%

cuz seriously thats what its like, if you haven’t ever lifegaurded…

By: Cody

Cody — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 03:25:52 +0000

Oh god..
for me, almost the entire thing would be “staring aimlessly into space”, and instead of “giving little kids band-aids,” it would be “pretending to be working hard when my boss is there”.

By: Norwegian Guy

Norwegian Guy — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 22:57:19 +0000

Y’know, this would be better if the term “band” was removed from “giving children…”

By: hyzenthlay

hyzenthlay — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 15:19:16 +0000

Maybe reserve a tiny sliver of ‘eating snack bar food’ for eating, and a slightly larger bit for ’staring at hotties of your preferred gender’ and then the rest is ‘yelling at kids to stop running’.

By: Lewis

Lewis — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:23:51 +0000

It’s funny because its ironic. It’s pointing out the humor in the fact that lifeguards are employed to save drowning people however for most lifeguards that comprises little or none of what they do. The fact that it had to be explained to you probably takes away from the humor of the experience. Maybe you could find a nice picture of a dog in sunglasses or something else more suited to your level of comprehension to make you giggle.

By: Mike

Mike — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 06:07:22 +0000

Never been a lifeguard, but I tell you, replace Sudoku with drawing,
and you have exactly what I would do if I were there.

A “heh” graph. 7/10 not bad

By: Mike Trouw

Mike Trouw — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:38:29 +0000

Jesus, this is how my entire season has been thus far, and I’m about to go and lifeguard in about an hour… mind numbing!!!

Anyone who is a lifeguard will get the humor, otherwise they just don’t understand just how ridiculous being a lifeguard actually is.

I’ve used my training only three times in the past 3 years, two of them being generic first aid and only one being an actual save, no cpr or anything like that though…

mmm snack bar!

By: Lane.Dizzo

Lane.Dizzo — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 16:02:55 +0000

THIS graphjam is NOT FUNNY in any way, shape or form. Could I give a crap about what you do at your job? Gah!!! Hate to sound like a c**t… but what ever happened to all the hilarious charts?

By: Dustin

Dustin — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 04:37:55 +0000

Oh so true. Switch around reading/sudoku with bandaids, and then bandaids with snacking, and you have my pool. XD

But ya, agreed w/ cornflower.

Chain of Events:
*run* -> “WALKKKK!!!” -> *face2concrete* -> *cries* -> *band-aid action*

It’s fun to watch sometimes, though…. Unless it’s devastatingly horrible.
You tell them to stop, but inside you want to see what will happen if they don’t. Lmao, jkjk

By: franik

franik — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 02:56:22 +0000

all kinds of ogling going on during kids swim – yummy mummys everywhere…

By: cornflower

cornflower — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 07:48:40 +0000

what about yelling at kids to stop running? that should be a good 10% at least – maybe right before handing out the band-aids…

By: Amber

Amber — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 23:42:30 +0000

saving autistic cousins 0.000002%

By: lizbiz

lizbiz — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:58:53 +0000

it may be boring but a lifeguard saved my autistic cousin from almost drowning in a pool, so… thanks

By: Rachel

Rachel — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 18:35:14 +0000

NOT just an 80s thing.

I would say 90% I’m doing that. (often combined with staring into space aimlessly or reading)

By: E. Tufte

E. Tufte — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 18:12:36 +0000

so far, no one in this thread has spelled “ogle” correctly.
Not until just now, anyway.

By: Kaiser Steve

Kaiser Steve — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 17:59:35 +0000

maybe its more of a where thing, i would suspect that in the middle of say Wyoming there isn’t much but say beach lifeguarding at miami, maybe something.

By: Jane

Jane — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 02:28:11 +0000

What is that, some male fantasy? I don’t think so, and even if there is some comparison, not 75% of the time!

By: Tim Aplin

Tim Aplin — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 00:21:37 +0000

even straight women oogle at other women in bikinis (okay the technical term is ‘compare’ but they are still oogling)

By: Dina

Dina — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 00:18:40 +0000

Having worked as a lifeguard, I can say there is a distinct lack of women in bikinis… or at least women who SHOULD be in bikinis.

By: Hakib

Hakib — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 23:45:06 +0000

I had the EXACT same experience in my lifeguarding job.

And in reference to oggling at women…there werent any worth oggling at…

By: Mel

Mel — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 19:09:30 +0000

What about time spent bathing in sunscreen? Or is that just for pale chicks like me?

By: Chelsea

Chelsea — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 17:21:33 +0000

IAWTC.

By: jynx

jynx — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 17:06:47 +0000

maybe she ate her snack bars really slowly- maybe she made it a game- like that she could only take a bite when a kid yelled out that another kid was peeing in the pool- and thats another thing- i’m pretty sure most lifeguarding takes place during kids swim rather than adult swim so there probably wasn’t a lot of oogling of either gender going on

By: Nick

Nick — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 15:54:46 +0000

I don’t know about you. But if I worked for 5 hours lifegaurding and 30-35% of that time was spent eating snack bar food…I wouldn’t be lifegaurding for long. I’d just be fat and unhappy (I don’t know anyone who can eat for an hour and a half snack bar food in a 5 hour shift).

I think that %’age is a lot high. Maybe 10-15%, so like 30-45 minutes in a 5 hour shift. This makes room for another 5% of in the pool time, and 15-20% of looking at hot women/guys (depending on gender of course).

By: wood

wood — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:37:01 +0000

The Graph was by someone named “Krista G” so she was probably checking out the sweet banana hamocks……

By: Luanne

Luanne — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:30:56 +0000

Swinging whistle cord around finger one way and then another (or maybe that was an ’80s thing.

By: Burphel

Burphel — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 12:05:10 +0000

What, no large segment for “looking at nice butts” and tiny sliver for “time spent in the pool”?

By: Tim Aplin

Tim Aplin — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 11:22:23 +0000

you forgot ‘oogling at hot women in bikinis’ which would take up about 75% of my time….