Comments on: Who Shot First?

By: Somebuddy

Somebuddy — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 20:22:51 +0000

Yes, effing hilarious!

By: Anonymous Crazy Person

Anonymous Crazy Person — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 15:29:16 +0000

Agreed. Han is way cooler than Greedo anyway.

By: Jade

Jade — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 15:23:29 +0000

Well, you see, Greedo is a bounty hunter. He would have killed Han on the spot. So Han HAD TO shoot first. And besides, you don’t need to mess up things when they’re fine.

By: superschmoe

superschmoe — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 01:06:42 +0000

Actually, it was self defense, not cold blood. Greedo was going to vape him, remember?

By: Herb

Herb — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 06:46:55 +0000

First, it wasn’t just a rape, but a full-fledged prison shower gang rape straight out of “Oz”.

Second, Sebastian Shaw was a noted actor from a different era. He wasn’t exactly an unknown.

Words cannot begin to explain the apoplexy brought on by this, the deletion of the “Nub-Jub” song, Greedo firing first,…

By: Steven

Steven — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 11:56:39 +0000

Malcolm Reynolds is a badass, but I think he comes out about even with Han.

By: Jessi

Jessi — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 05:57:06 +0000

Lol, the phrase ‘nancy boy’ always makes me think of Angel.

By: boom

boom — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 01:57:39 +0000

ugh, “improved”. like jocelyn wildenstein is improved.

By: boom

boom — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 01:54:52 +0000

Really? I can’t see it myself. But then I did see Airforce One. That kinda killed his appeal forever. Oh and his irony too.

By: Erik

Erik — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:35:20 +0000

Best TPS report EVER!

By: athene

athene — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:24:15 +0000

The Limited Edition of the DVDs have both the crappy special editions and the original releases on them.

By: Alice

Alice — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:04:40 +0000

Oh no: South Park flashbacks.

By: Alice

Alice — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:03:34 +0000

Out of all of my Star-Wars-fan friends, I was the only one to actually notice that. It’s not an obvious rape.

By: urnh?

urnh? — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 05:14:17 +0000

Hobby. You needs one.

By: ERNesbitt

ERNesbitt — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:12:33 +0000

Find and listen to Patton Oswalt’s “At Midnight, I will Kill George Lucas with a Shovel.”

By: moodmiester

moodmiester — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 20:19:29 +0000

Boter….I love you!

By: lowly grunt

lowly grunt — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 19:31:29 +0000

Well, that’s true. Star Wars is Lucas’ movie.

Problem is, I hear, that the “original” movie — the one with the fingerprints all over Darth Vader’s helmet — is under lock and key and Lucas will not let it see the light of day. He’d rather people see only the digitally improved versions.

By: Larry

Larry — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 18:52:58 +0000

Glad you guys like the graph! I was actally just browsing and saw that mine made it to the main page. I feel so special.

By: Hope

Hope — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 18:27:05 +0000

Dude, it’s Lucas’ movie, he can do whatever he likes with it. He wrote the story and presented it to you. As much as I agree that the changes and stuff are pretty stupid, it’s his work of art and he has the right to present it any way he wants. Just look at Douglas Adams, he changed the Hitchhiker’s story everytime it changed mediums and nobody complained about that. Let Lucas have some fun with his story. If you really like Lucas’ original story line so much, then just watch that one and leave the others alone.

By: jf

jf — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 18:14:28 +0000

Malcom Reynolds shot first. Period. Han Solo is a nancy boy!!!! =P

Long Live Firefly/Serenity!

By: Ferenczy

Ferenczy — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 18:04:16 +0000

The rape that upsets me the most is at the end of “Return of the Jedi” with Ani as we know him from 1,2 & 3 showing up at the celebration on Endor. The original, unknown old Ani was better.

By: Vinny

Vinny — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 17:50:54 +0000

Dood, you can’t rape a memory.

By: Boter

Boter — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 17:24:49 +0000

Add in 2007 for Star Wars: Revisited – what the Special Edition *should* have been. http://fanedit.org/517/

Excellent graph! I lol’d.

By: Kpaige

Kpaige — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 17:16:24 +0000

Harrison Ford is soo hot!!!!!

By: moodmiester

moodmiester — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 15:12:59 +0000

In the original Star Wars movies, Han shot Greedo first. When the SRE (Special Raped Edition) came out in 97, Lucas decided that Greedo should have shot first, to make Han look less ruthless and thus he raped the memories of those of us that were children when Star Wars first hit the big screen. Next, in ‘04 the raped it again and made them shoot at roughly the same time. Fans were understandably getting pissed of by now. So, when it was released on DVD (a good 6 years after the format’s widespread adoption, I might add), he returned it to Han shooting first, but only barely and him having to move out of the way of Greedo’s shot. Afterwards, later in the movies, he again proceeded to rape the fans by altering the dialog between Vader and the emperor. I will be so glad when Lucas dies so that I can have the possibility of an un-raped, yet cleaned up version of Star Wars on blu-ray. Die Lucas….DIE!!!

By: Benjamin M. Strozykowski

Benjamin M. Strozykowski — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 14:56:40 +0000

Larry, you sir, are my hero!

By: Jason

Jason — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 14:56:16 +0000

When Star Wars was re-released in 1997, remastered and with some scenes added, Lucas had changed around the scene where Han Solo encounters Greedo in the Mos Eisley cantina right before he takes off with Luke and Obi-Wan. Originally, Han shot Greedo in cold blood, and the scene was altered so that Greedo shot first, missed, and Han killed Greedo in self-defense.

A massive amount of butthurt among virgin fanboys ensued, because they forgot it was just a stupid B-movie, and they whined. For eleven years, and counting.

By: G*

G* — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 14:49:16 +0000

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Han_shot_first

By: Kai

Kai — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 14:42:57 +0000

Doesn’t gets it…