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Doesn’t gets it…
When Star Wars was re-released in 1997, remastered and with some scenes added, Lucas had changed around the scene where Han Solo encounters Greedo in the Mos Eisley cantina right before he takes off with Luke and Obi-Wan. Originally, Han shot Greedo in cold blood, and the scene was altered so that Greedo shot first, missed, and Han killed Greedo in self-defense.
A massive amount of butthurt among virgin fanboys ensued, because they forgot it was just a stupid B-movie, and they whined. For eleven years, and counting.
Best TPS report EVER!
Actually, it was self defense, not cold blood. Greedo was going to vape him, remember?
Well, you see, Greedo is a bounty hunter. He would have killed Han on the spot. So Han HAD TO shoot first. And besides, you don’t need to mess up things when they’re fine.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Han_shot_first
Larry, you sir, are my hero!
In the original Star Wars movies, Han shot Greedo first. When the SRE (Special Raped Edition) came out in 97, Lucas decided that Greedo should have shot first, to make Han look less ruthless and thus he raped the memories of those of us that were children when Star Wars first hit the big screen. Next, in ‘04 the raped it again and made them shoot at roughly the same time. Fans were understandably getting pissed of by now. So, when it was released on DVD (a good 6 years after the format’s widespread adoption, I might add), he returned it to Han shooting first, but only barely and him having to move out of the way of Greedo’s shot. Afterwards, later in the movies, he again proceeded to rape the fans by altering the dialog between Vader and the emperor. I will be so glad when Lucas dies so that I can have the possibility of an un-raped, yet cleaned up version of Star Wars on blu-ray. Die Lucas….DIE!!!
The rape that upsets me the most is at the end of “Return of the Jedi” with Ani as we know him from 1,2 & 3 showing up at the celebration on Endor. The original, unknown old Ani was better.
Out of all of my Star-Wars-fan friends, I was the only one to actually notice that. It’s not an obvious rape.
First, it wasn’t just a rape, but a full-fledged prison shower gang rape straight out of “Oz”.
Second, Sebastian Shaw was a noted actor from a different era. He wasn’t exactly an unknown.
Words cannot begin to explain the apoplexy brought on by this, the deletion of the “Nub-Jub” song, Greedo firing first,…
Find and listen to Patton Oswalt’s “At Midnight, I will Kill George Lucas with a Shovel.”
Yes, effing hilarious!
The Limited Edition of the DVDs have both the crappy special editions and the original releases on them.
Harrison Ford is soo hot!!!!!
Really? I can’t see it myself. But then I did see Airforce One. That kinda killed his appeal forever. Oh and his irony too.
Agreed. Han is way cooler than Greedo anyway.
Add in 2007 for Star Wars: Revisited – what the Special Edition *should* have been. http://fanedit.org/517/
Excellent graph! I lol’d.
Boter….I love you!
Hobby. You needs one.
Dood, you can’t rape a memory.
Malcom Reynolds shot first. Period. Han Solo is a nancy boy!!!! =P
Long Live Firefly/Serenity!
Lol, the phrase ‘nancy boy’ always makes me think of Angel.
Malcolm Reynolds is a badass, but I think he comes out about even with Han.
Dude, it’s Lucas’ movie, he can do whatever he likes with it. He wrote the story and presented it to you. As much as I agree that the changes and stuff are pretty stupid, it’s his work of art and he has the right to present it any way he wants. Just look at Douglas Adams, he changed the Hitchhiker’s story everytime it changed mediums and nobody complained about that. Let Lucas have some fun with his story. If you really like Lucas’ original story line so much, then just watch that one and leave the others alone.
Well, that’s true. Star Wars is Lucas’ movie.
Problem is, I hear, that the “original” movie — the one with the fingerprints all over Darth Vader’s helmet — is under lock and key and Lucas will not let it see the light of day. He’d rather people see only the digitally improved versions.
Oh no: South Park flashbacks.
ugh, “improved”. like jocelyn wildenstein is improved.
Glad you guys like the graph! I was actally just browsing and saw that mine made it to the main page. I feel so special.